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You’re Simply the Best

“You’re simply the best
Better than all the rest
Better than anyone
Anyone I’ve ever met”

You're simply the best. Better than all the rest. Better than anyone. Anyone I've ever met. Schitt's Creek clip.

I sing to him. I sing to him every chance I get. I’m not good at it, but gosh, the emotion is there.

And he knows that. He knows it so well. I love to watch him look from one face to another, as people talk. I love to watch him look at my face. During his four-month-old well visit yesterday, he needed comfort before, during, and after his vaccinations. At first I was a little paralyzed because this was the time I had usually reserved for a bottle of formula. Or, had I? It’s all time blocks and strange math. He’s not a picky eater – he just likes to be fed – and doesn’t care what it is and who’s giving it. My strict internal schedule didn’t make allowances for comfort nursing, though. So I did it. I nursed him. The nurse walked in and gave him an oral vaccine while he was nursing. Then four shots in his thighs, two and two, that made him scream. He stopped to cry and went back to nursing. She left the room and for the first time in an hour, I then took off my masks. He saw my face and smiled. He pulled away again and again, to smile and giggle at me.

And I realized, I was experiencing what I love about nursing, and what had been lost.

Maybe now it’s found. Or maybe on its way there. I so hope.

When I put him down to sleep every day, I swaddle with one arm out. We call his left hand his “valentine” because he loves to suck that hand. Before the hand sucking, though, he looks into my eyes. And that’s when I sing. Nonsense songs, and feeling songs, and nonsense songs I put feeling into, and feeling songs I put nonsense into. “You’re simply the best,”. Maybe a little bit of “Sugar Magnolia.” Perhaps, some “Eddie Walker” by Ben Folds Five, which was the next song on my birthing playlist I was due to make a Friday post about, but I couldn’t be inspired by it. You wouldn’t know that when it’s time to put him down for a nap or for bedtime, though. I can be inspired by anything. I’ll throw any words into melody just to watch him watch me sing. I sing and I touch four soft parts of his face. I sing some more, with nonsense and with feeling, and then I back out of the room. Sometimes I stay to hear him put himself to sleep. Slowly. Surely.

Or to make sure the cat doesn’t eat him, or something. He is edible.

You're simply the best. Better than all the rest. Better than anyone. Anyone I've ever met. Schitt's Creek clip.

These days are the worst days, and these days are the best days. It alternates not from day to day, but from hour to hour. Different parts of the days, broken up by small rays of sunshine and bursts of bubbling laughter. There is tension, so much tension, threatening to boil over at any second. These kids, still with their baby faces, especially at night, but also with their aching and growing legs. Their fears and occasional headaches, and bouts of sleeplessness. It seems like last year they were both still young children, with small problems and easy solutions. I’m scared to lose my grip on that, and scared I can’t offer them comfort. I can, though, although inspiration bubbles up and boils over from god knows where. Instinct and experience, flashbacks and flash forwards. I give them what’s been given to me, over and over, and I know one day they’ll also be ready. It gets harder, yes, to soothe and smooth and ease their burdens. We get lost in the folds.

And then we catch up. We remember. Soothing and smoothing and easing is what we do.

You're simply the best. Better than all the rest. Better than anyone. Anyone I've ever met. Schitt's Creek clip.

When I put him down to sleep, that’s when I’m not lost, but found. Everything troublesome drifts away into sweet pitchy nonsense. That’s when I’m a part of generations upon generations of parents putting their kids down to sleep. We touch the soft parts of their faces, and sing the nonsense in the feeling, and the feeling in the nonsense. And, we back slowly out of their rooms.

Just to watch them to drift off to sleep. Slowly. Surely.

“Simply the Best” was not actually on our birthing playlist!

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9 Comments

  1. Aw, the feeling of watching your babies fall asleep is quite simply the best feeling to see that they are relaxed, comfortable and not a care in the world. Hugs and keep those delicious baby pics and tales coming our way here <3

  2. I actually think nursing through vaccines (or giving a bottle, if that is what you are doing) is a wonderful idea! Gives their brains something else to focus on instead of pain. It’s rough in the beginning when they have to get so many. Love his big eyes. And wow, Scarlet is shooting up so tall!

  3. In the first pic Rider’s eyes and facial expression really get your attention! I’m very happy to read that his four month well visit went as well as can be. Noah’s simple version right from the heart works best for this song, but check out the Tina Turner/Tina Turner Jimmy Barnes versions and videos, especially Tina dancing and strutting in her video. Those hard driving rock and soul versions work very well too. Bonnie Tyler said that she loved the “power” in both cover versions.

  4. My last baby wanted to nurse for so long. It was terrible trying to wean her and so I love babies, but the thought of having another one makes me feel a little queasy and shaky. So, I hear your struggles, but gosh we love them so desperately. They are the best. Especially when they sleep. When you look at your sleeping baby or heck even your little people, it’s like your heart will fracture into a million love pieces. Or maybe that doesn’t make sense. 🙂 Your people are pretty awesome. Big and little!

  5. So cute! And I lobe the song Simply the Best. One of my favorites (used to sing it to Rich when we were dating), I love Tina Turner! I don’t watch Schitts Creek, but I did watch the clip you posted. What a wonderful cover.

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