My mom once told me that to get through the hardest parts of labor with my older sister, her first baby, she put a beautiful picture on the wall as visual therapy. She stared straight at it from her hospital bed to gather the strength to continue.
I don’t even know what her picture was. Was it a photo or a painting? Was it light or dark? Exciting or mellow? I do know that it seemed to work for her. I guess such things vary. Despite prizing my vision very much, and despite being in the visual arts field, I actually prize music above all else to ease my way through pain and anxiety. It’s my sense of hearing. It’s comforting sounds and words and the melodies and lyrics that bring me back into my core. Grounded back to the earth when I’m spinning too fast away from it. Cookies help too, but only in certain situations, and I certainly wouldn’t recommend stress eating, but I do indulge every now and then. And I like it too. When I am very stressed, I can barely eat at all. I don’t know what’s worse.
Tuesday.. yesterday.. (or today if you’re reading this early) was a DAY. It started poorly, and it only got worse. And then it got worse again. There were certainly beautiful and shiny parts of it. Happy client testimonials and napping lap cats. A really good coffee over an even better conversation. Happy kids. Amazing loved ones. Finishing a big, emotional job. Healing.
It didn’t help that I needed to immerse myself in work during such a hard day. And while visual therapy doesn’t and won’t always work for me, often because photography is one of the reasons I’m somewhat stressing, I was very uplifted by finishing the set from the day after my sister’s wedding. That’s right. The day after. These are not her official wedding day photos because, hello, matron of honor duties are HARD, but I’m amazed that the three of us pulled ourselves out of bed the morning after, went outside, and put something beautiful together. It shouldn’t have been easy, but it kinda was. It had flow.
I took a long time to upload and edit these photos, mostly by design. She already had a photographer for her wedding day, so I wasn’t under stress. And it’s because I wanted to draw out that magical day, which is somehow already six weeks past.
I want my soul to be warmed. I need it. I thought I’d share. All you can see is love here. I see it so much, that I can even see past the fact that when I normally look at my own photos, all I see are technical details and imperfections. I see luck and timing. I see chemistry too. I see all of the things an anxious and self-conscious person sees when staring at their own art.