What I Want You To Know.

For yet another Ask Away Friday, I have partnered myself up with..myself. For the #30ThingsChallenge.

There are just many things to say. I don’t like plot holes, you see. If I go to a movie and they don’t turn the lights on when the credits roll, I stay until the theater has completely emptied and I wait for that secret ending. And if there is no secret ending, I at least enjoy the music and wonder why they just encouraged a ton of people to trip over themselves in the dark for nothing! When a show is canceled abruptly, I get very angry that it never got a chance to cover the plot holes. I’m looking at YOU, “My So-Called Life”! And when a show does get a chance to fill in about 500 plot holes and just doesn’t, that’s called negligence. I’m looking at YOU, “Glee!” Don’t get me started on books and movies – I do enjoy when they leave something open to think about, when a sequel is already in the works. I’m looking at ya, Guardians of the Galaxy and I like what I see.


So imagine my surprise when I found out that I had left a plot hole and I haven’t filled in any of it in a long time! Over a year ago, I started the #30ThingsChallenge which I found on Second Chances Girl’s blog. It’s about answering 30 questions that you want your kids to know about you – either right now or eventually. I only answered question #1 of 30 Things About Me That I Want My Kids to Know, and now it’s time for some more. Feel free to use them anytime! I think they’re very fun.

What is #AskAwayFriday? Well…

#AskAwayFriday was created by the amazing Penny from Real Housewife of Caroline County and Amber from Bold Fit Mom, as a way to connect with other bloggers with a great Q & A session of 10 questions and 10 answers, between two bloggers! This is a wonderful opportunity to get to know others while allowing others to get to know you and of course there is also the added bonus of making great friends along the way which is one of the best parts of this online world! Ask me if you want to swap!


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Echo from The Mad Mommy

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Personally, I went out of order with the questions!

1. What are 5 things that make you most happy right now?

Well, I’m not all that happy right now because the weather is still trash and Des appears to have a fever virus, but I suppose I should just be thankful it’s not another stomach virus and that this trash weather/trash virus season is nearly gone.

  1. That! I’m happy that spring weather will come, and soon we’ll be gardening in short-sleeves, and we’ll be virus free!
  2. I’m happy that a big paycheck is coming my way and that I plan to use it as wisely as I can, but on cookies too.
  3. I’m happy that other than this fever cold thing, both kids are in very communicative and developing and happy phases.
  4. I’m happy that I still have a lot of excitement to see moose and go on road trips and explore and photograph New England.
  5. I’m happy that Cassidy and I are getting to a better place lately. For awhile there..whew..it wasn’t pleasant.

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2. What is your dream job and why?

I used to think it was to be a National Geographic photographer, but then I became a mother, and I don’t really want to run all over the globe when I can run all around here and see some beauty. I’d love to be a very successful photographer AND writer AND mother. You know, kinda like what I am now, but with a lot more money, and a heck of a lot less fear.

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3. Describe your most embarrassing moment.

I don’t embarrass easily at all. I think growing up with four siblings intent on embarrassing you will do that. So no, even when Des pooped out of his diaper and out of his clothes and onto my sundress in public, I wasn’t embarrassed. Just flustered. And when Scarlet asked the nurse when Des’ penis would fall off, the way his umbilical cord had, I wasn’t embarrassed. Ok, I will tell you something that embarrassed me and it’s AWFUL. I told it to my playground friends yesterday and they agreed that it’s awful. When Scarlet was two or three, I took her with me to an eyebrow appointment. While I was paying the ladies, she said something that I have never figured out where she had heard it first. She said it innocently enough, and I know she had NO idea, but she said to me, “Mama, where are we going to buy them? Do we have to go to a special store because I want a bag of d*cks!” I turned white. There was a language barrier but the salon ladies knew EXACTLY what she had said.

I probably shouldn’t provide a link.. because this supposed to be a family post..but you can get such things online!

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4. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?

What the heck? I have to go from a bag of d*cks to this? Well I’m not going to get political or unleash anything like that, but I think the notion that the world is getting worse is wrong. People will always talk about the “good ole days” (like the Spanish Inquisition?) and how everything is unsafe. Well it always has been. It comes and goes – bad times and good times. We are just more aware of the bad than ever with social media. I think there always has been, and there always will be a majority of good people trying to make the world a better place. There’s a lot of good yet. Now.. come give me a hug! There, that’s right.

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5. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.

  1. Inconsiderate drivers.
  2. Slow people in the left lane. What. Is. Wrong. With. Them?
  3. Audible eating.
  4. Close talking.
  5. “Your” in place of “You’re.” How can you get this far in life and not know?
  6. The sound of typing on a laptop.
  7. Slow computers!
  8. Never being able to hit the X on your browser fast enough when you accidentally click a link.
  9. People who walk painfully slowly, take up a whole sidewalk, and then stop short in the middle of it.
  10. Pop-ups on websites. I hope you never see one here! I don’t want subscribers or Facebook fans THAT badly.

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6. Describe your relationship with your spouse.

Well it’s evolving. We have a lot of love and dreams, but messy life stuff has gotten in the way and we’re not the power couple we set out to be. Luckily, we haven’t given up on any of it – not on each other and not on our original big dreams.

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7. What’s your favorite holiday and why?

I don’t know if I have one! I definitely like Easter/Passover for the happiness factor since I’m all about light and warmth and chocolate eggs. Halloween is pretty darn special. I guess Christmas is my favorite for the big, big dreams and the season.

This is when we told her Santa brought Disney World tickets:

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8. What’s the hardest part of growing up?

For me, it’s about your dreams dying, or seeing that possibility as imminent. And it’s about the challenge of letting people in and out of your heart. The more you love and grow, the more people you eventually lose. And that’s the toughest stuff.

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9. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.

I think mine might more be phobias than fears, and they are all interlinked. And deep. Sorry, no spider fear over here:

  1. Dying young. Well, my father left behind two young daughters rather suddenly, and I’m terrified of that happening here.

  2. Vomit. I think it’s related to fear of loss of control, which explains other fears. (but not heights, strangely) I think it’s from when my parents were dating after my father died. They left us with a babysitter when I was sick and I threw up on my arm. I must have felt so scared and sad and alone. The babysitter put me in clean pajamas and I got to watch Snow White until my parents came home. Also, vomit is not exactly pleasant even when you’re not phobic, is it?

  3. Natural disasters and apocalypse talk and outer space. I can’t even joke about meteors and global warming and black holes and the sun exploding. I can’t even watch shows on it! Don’t get me started on earthquakes and volcanos and tornados!

10. What is your favorite part of your body and why?

Is hair a body part? I like its thickness. I think my favorite part of my body is its all around metabolism. I’m just narrow all over and it doesn’t seem to be slowing down, although I’m sure it could still happen for me when I’m older.

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  1. Can I just say I love that you just mentioned “My So Called Life” here as it still ruffles my feathers that it ended so quickly and never really was given a real shot to shine. I always wondered what would have happened though. I love knowing that I am not alone in this and more here tonight! 😉

    1. I mean.. do you think she would have ended up with Jordan or Brian? Personally, I think Jordan even with the Cyrano plot twist.
      Wow. 20 years later and it’s still vivid.

  2. This made my night, especially the bag of D*@ks that I had forgotten about and am so happy to remember!!!!! On a serious note beyond stoked about you and the hubs finding yourselves….I have a bunch of friends who I’ve watched in their marriages find rough times, good times, and the best of times….it’s evolution, and I think once you start to repair it gets better then it ever was, it turns into a entity….Also thank YOU for the positive statement about the world, because I’m guilty of thinking the “good ole days”, and also scared about how social media will change the youth, yada yada, great points!

    1. Marriages get to that point – they either soar again or they sink. I guess it’s like half and half!
      The world IS scary, but the point is that it has always been scary. The Black Plague! The Spanish Inquisition! The Holocaust!
      And it seems like wars and people and viruses get worse and worse.. but maybe not? Remember the Civil War?? I could go on.

  3. Love how you just lay it all out there. I try but it doesn’t flow. I seem to have a knack for picking tv shows that just go away. This season CSI, Perception, Manhattan Love Story…hate falling in love with characters & then they are gone. Proof! Hope Des feels better soon.

    1. I watched “Manhattan Love Story” too! I thought it had promise. Now I’ll never know what would have happened!! Although it looks like she chose Peter, of course.

      Sadly, just laying it out there is pretty much my only way to write.

  4. Tamara, I’m hoping that Des will be feeling much better tomorrow than he did today. This winter has been very unkind and it seems to be hanging on in your part of New England. When the warm weather finally arrives I hope it will reward you with your anxiously awaited photo opps of moose sightings and road trippin’ through New England. You and Lindsay both have beautiful black and full bodied hair, and you are both so very optimistic. Whether the glass is half full or half empty you each have a full pitcher of water right next to the glass ready to pour the water into the glass to fill it up again! I Think That’s Pretty Awesome!!

    1. Thank you so much, Eddie. He woke up fever-free and much more energetic! He’s still hanging out at home for the day just to give him a day to feel even better, but I hope to have normal weekend activities! Even with this terrible weather! Is it better in New Jersey? It’s nearly 50 today but rainy!
      At least that means the snow is melting.

  5. Um, I just need to say this so that it’s out in the open between us: that first picture – you know, the one with Groot AND the Tardis? That. Is. My. Happy. Place. Is that Photoshopped or just a magical land? 🙂

    And I just adore your answer to number 4.

    1. Not Photoshopped! I always want to sound professional, don’t get me wrong, but I generally outsource the type of Photoshopping that requires background changes. Too tedious for me!
      So to answer you, my husband made the Groot costume (which may come out this weekend) and he painted our ugly old shed into a TARDIS!

  6. I wanted to be an international corporate lawyer who jet setted to Paris to close a deal. With the Internet, I’m not sure it’s possible and all of those hours flying have been replaced with more work between 4 dark walls.

    I hate bad driving. One that I seem toencounter more is the person who jumps over in front of the fast car, as if to say “You’re not supposed to be going that fast”, yet in actuality they probably just didn’t notice.

    Pop ups, I’m torn. I don’t like them, but the way all of the networks are changing their algorithms, I have to do something differently. Oh well. You should get one more than once a month.

    1. Wow, an international corporate lawyer! Sounds intense.
      I get it about the pop-ups. In fact, most people I know have them. I guess that’s why it annoys me because the pop-up will come up when I least expect it, and I already AM a subscriber or Facebook fan! I already am!! Why must you hold me hostage, web page?

  7. I love your answer “it’s evolving” isn’t that true of every marriage all the time… I’ve been married 17 years and it still feels like we have so much to learn!

    Your hair is fabulous… it can totally count as a body part.

    And in front of “Glee” for not filling in plot twists I’ll put “Lost” I’ve never been so angry at an ending in my life! It’s funny that you sit til the end of the credits… I do the same thing, my husband will go to shut off a DVD and I’m like “No wait!” It gives me such satisfaction when there is a little something extra!

    1. I wonder if marriage feels that way until the end! I guess that’s a good thing?
      We’re major LOST fans here, and for some reason it didn’t affect me as badly as other shows. I have no idea why! I mean, I even named my son Desmond!!

  8. What is the hardest part of growing up? “For me, it’s about your dreams dying, or seeing that possibility as imminent.” Ouch! And, yes:(. I agree with ALL of your pet peeves! Easter used to be my favorite, but now it’s Mother’s Day:) The one holiday I get OFF! And I’m so happy that you have so much to be happy about!

    1. Yes, growing up is hard.
      I don’t think dreams have to die. I do think they change. I used to WANT to be a Hollywood movie star and now I don’t. I suppose if I still wanted it, maybe I’d be out in California again!

  9. This is a beautiful and honest post, Tamara. I feel I got to know you even better. I agree with the world being the same as it was (but a little different) in the good old days. These are the good old days. As for marriage, you know the dreaming together is part of the fun and the process. Keep dreaming together. I know it gets frustrating not having what you thought you would by now. We often say that too but then I stop and think, dreaming of what we want is half the fun. Striving to get to that place together is gold. LOL on Scarlet’s announcement. Ha! My kids have embarrassed me a time or two as well!

    1. I do worry that the climate is getting worse, though.. as well as viruses! Too many antibiotics mutating things. That could just be fear talking!
      I still love the dreamers in this fantastic world.

  10. Um, yeah, I did like 1 or 2 of these questions a year ago and never went any further either! I really should get back on that, thanks for the reminder! I have an irrational fear of natural disasters, and getting into a horrible car accident. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night stressing about them.

    1. I’ve never even been in a fender bender, so I’m always worried that my time is coming. I also worry about stomach viruses but we’ve been hit twice and lived to tell the tale, so maybe we’re all good for now.

    1. Oh awesome! I can’t wait to read it. Sometimes I just love to have the control over what I get asked. Other times, it’s nice to mix it up and get thrown under the bus too!

  11. I am just loving all your prompts lately! I hope Des feels better soon. Oh I do not like pop-ups either and will never put them on my site (ok, you are not ever supposed to say never, but I am pretty sure about it). You are so right about #8. I too love having more people in my life and it is tough when people leave this earth…. BTW, I think you are already there with #2.

    1. Thank you so much about #2!
      These prompts are very fun.
      Des woke up fever free today. I’m a bit grateful for the fever actually because it kept him home yesterday, and yesterday is when a great stomach virus broke out at school. Soo… his fever virus was horrible but kept him from something even worse!

  12. Your pet peeves are right on par with mine. Inconsiderate drivers make me swear. My kids are like, “Um…you tell us not to use those words..”

    I hear ya on the relationship stuff. Sometimes it’s great. Other times I want to scream and run. Right now I’m in a “woe is me” phase where I’m just like, “I want my husband HOME!”

    1. Aw, I think with more space, I’d feel that way a lot more. Cassidy is always around, ya know? Although he is going away for ten days soon so it should be interesting. Will I miss him terribly, or will I enjoy popcorn and ice cream and Hallmark movies the whole time?
      I think probably that.

      1. I love my space too, but I just worry about things like, “Does he even miss me at all? Will he still like me when he comes back?”

  13. Happy Almost April! I am glad you are filling in the plot holes. I just finished watching a BBC show that was canceled at the end of the season!! I hate that, but I really need to research shows before I just start watching something on Netflix! Vomit, it just sounds gross and I have seen my fair share of it over the past 13 years. One time all 4 children threw up at the same exact time. My husband and I stood in the middle of it laughing and not knowing what to do. The moments that bind you, huh?

  14. I just told my hay man that I loved his good grammar and he always says “you’re welcome” I told him that it was a pet peeve of mine when people say “your welcome” . He admitted that his dad was an English teacher.

  15. I will never not look at Cassidy-as-Groot in awe. He’s so tall! And he did it all himself! Amazing. I love your answer to number four. Your positive attitude and optimism are kind of infectious 🙂
    Have an awesome weekend, Tamara!

    1. What really made me laugh a lot is that people kept asking me if he was really that tall. And he is over 6 feet tall, but he was standing on weighted buckets!

  16. Like you my dad died when I was young. So I have a big fear of dying young. I want to live to be old and see my grandkids. I want to see some great-grandkids too. I also hate talk about the world coming to an end.

  17. OH girl, you and me BOTH with ALL of your pet peeves!!! And yes oh yes- your HAIR. Luscious in every way…

    And I love that you and Cassidy are doing well now… and that spring is *kind of on it’s way* and I agree about this world being just as unsafe as it’s always been. Nothing new- just different. There were never the ‘good ol’ days’- killing and violence and atrocities have been around since the beginning of time.

  18. I started out laughing about “Glee”. I watch it with my younger son, and we have always thought that Ryan Murphy must have ADD – he starts so many stories but has a hard time finishing them up. What fun questions! I agree about the state of the world – I think we’re just more aware of the awful stuff going on, but overall it’s still a pretty great place. My husband and I will be married 25 years this fall, and it’s always a series of ups and downs!

    1. I used to love that show! One thing that always got me was that they had a few heavy storylines on the teacher’s wife’s mental illness, and how she was afraid to give up her virginity. Then they skipped over some major plot lines, because then she was pregnant! That always makes me mad. An opportunity for a teaching storyline and they ignore it.

  19. So much information in one post! I’m totally with you on #4. It kills me that parents in my state are being charged with child endangerment for letting their kids walk to a park…less than a mile away. Authorities these days would have a fit if they knew what I did as a kid.

    1. I don’t know if you’ve seen that funny article about pictures taken in the 70s, that would get parents arrested these days. I’m a child of the 80s, but same thing!

  20. I’ve always thought it would be cool to be a National Geographic photographer, but it would be lonely and dangerous, too. I like how you said you want to be who you are now but with more money and less fear. I think that’s wonderful!

  21. Sorry that Des has been sick again – hopefully this is the very end of sickness for the year!!!
    Glad that things are going better with you and Cassidy – marriage is HARD but I can’t imagine navigating throughout everything without Chris.
    Hope your weekend is great!

  22. Power couple – what does that even mean? Marriage is hard work, and life doesn’t make it easier. “Evolving” is the perfect state for a marriage – it means it is growing with you!

  23. This survey is so fun! Don’t be surprised if you see an iteration of it on my blog 😉 I think you’d be a great NG photographer. I wish I traveled more when I didn’t have kids (so much easier that way) and now that I have them, I still want to save up whatever I can to take them with me.

  24. Another post where I sit here and ask myself ‘where the heck do I start to comment’?! So many good points… Well, first and foremost, I am happy for you that you and Cassidy are on a path to finding yourselves again. Take baby steps towards both your dreams and you will make it. I really think relationships are made of ups and downs. Just as the good ol’ days do mostly exist in memories only – you’re spot on with that one. Just as you are with your pet peeves – same here. Drivers, especially in the US (sorry!) *smh* – I won’t even start. Let’s just say I wanted to do a rant post about it at one point, but remembered my good manners. And slow computers – BIG no no, and pop-ups, phew, I click away faster from pop-ups than lightning speed.
    Very enlightening post as always!

    1. I think you are nice for having good manners, but I think that drivers are terrible here! And I’ve never even left North America! So you would know better than I do.

    2. Sorry and I also meant to say that I appreciate your wisdom about relationships. I got married when I was in my 20s. I didn’t know anything!

  25. I hope you guys feel better soon! I am also looking very forward to spring for backyard play, new bicycles and etc. More trips=more fun. A whole winter inside and we are DUE for some continuous outdoor play, until it gets too hot that is 🙂

    1. I’m hoping for a mild summer. Meanwhile here, I keep holding on, and waiting, and checking that ten-day forecast. Is relief in sight?

  26. I have mixed feelings about Spring. The desert tends to get hotter and it becomes too daunting to do anything in 100 degree days. But I understand that the bulk of the country could use warmer temperatures and the chance to go outside. Audible eating and slow laptops are also a pet peeve for me too. Hope you had a good weekend, Tamara.

    1. I struggle in climates in which you’re at the mercy of heat or air conditioning. That’s why I want to live in San Diego!
      We do get some nice months here.

  27. I was just thinking the other day whether the world is more of an awful place now (as opposed to the “good ole days”), or does it just seem more awful because bad news is easily accessible to us? There are way more good, heart warming stories out there, too. 🙂

    1. This is even before social media, but I remember learning in my journalism classes that watching the news can make you depressed because you feel like the world is ending. Meanwhile, they are only reporting on the bad, when millions of good things happen every day. I still believe that.

  28. I think #8 has had a lot to do with some of my anxiety. Getting old sucks…. sometimes. Eating cookies whenever I want to is pretty cool though 🙂

    1. I think about that a lot. There must be a sweet spot in your 20s and 30s, in with you acknowledge your adulthood by eating cookies as dinner, but that it doesn’t give you heartburn or sugar issues. So I think we’re there right now!

  29. Something with the planets must be happening because for a while there, my husband and I were in a uhm…..not so fun place either. It was fucked up. Anyway….to your list:

    1. Inconsiderate drivers. **YES***
    2. Slow people in the left lane. What. Is. Wrong. With. Them? **I want a develop some sort of message device I can send to their car to tell them to move over***
    4. Close talking. ***SERIOUSLY, GET OUT OF MY SPACE***
    5. “Your” in place of “You’re.” How can you get this far in life and not know? *It changes everything.*
    7. Slow computers! *I have to stop myself from hurting the thing, sad.*
    10. Pop-ups on websites. I hope you never see one here! I don’t want subscribers or Facebook fans THAT badly. **SERIOUSLY! IT’S RUDE!!!*
    And I think you forgot:
    11. The T.V. being turned on way too loud for life. Just stop- seriously, it’s too loud.

    1. #4!! Why do people have to get all up in your face right!?! Boundaries!
      Since moving to South Carolina my internet connection has been slow 🙁

    2. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but it’s a little bit of a joke around here. When I control the remote control, everybody is asking me to turn up the TV and telling me they don’t hear anything. When anyone else controls it, I think they’re all hard of hearing. I have very sensitive ears. There’s actually a word for it when you hate sounds. I don’t, but if I’m anxious, it’s actually scientifically proven that sounds can hurt anxiety.
      Sad to hear about you and your husband, but happy it’s no longer like that. You always think that everyone else is exempt from such problems and that everyone else has a perfect relationship. None of us do! Only the strong survive.

  30. I don’t really embarrass easily either. I mean, I ended up half naked on stage in the middle of a high school play due to a badly timed set change — and after that, it all seemed rather small things. ya feel?
    but speaking of d*cks…… once my toddler son started screaming about his penis being all hard in the middle of the grocery check out. I mean loud. Mommy my penis is hard… and it won’t go DOWN!!! Mommy why is my penis so HARD!!! I calmly reassured him that sometimes penis do that and it would be fine soon. To which he asked: well does daddy’s penis get hard? Still only flustered, I again calmly replied yes of course, it’s perfectly normal. but you know toddlers are like dogs with bones (OMG – did I just pun?) and he had to take it one step further… Do you help daddy when his penis is hard mommy!? So yes at that point: red faced embarrassment. I mean honestly, how can you ever truly prepare for parenthood!

    1. Didn’t that half naked on stage incident make you a very popular girl? I feel like I remember you getting a date that way!
      The story about your toddler son is almost too good to even talk about.

  31. Absolutely awesome! Oh my, Scarlet’s face is priceless! I love any holiday that involves chocolate! LOL! I have to agree with those pet peeves, most of them are mine, too! LOL! And pop-ups drive me bonkers! Have a great weekend, dear friend!

  32. Every time I read these I’m more convinced we’d be best friends. The whole your you’re thing drives me crazy too. Vomit doesn’t scare me though. It’s poop. Poop scares me.

    1. I think so too, regarding us as best friends. I don’t have a best friend actually! Vacancy!

      Poop scares you?? But it happens daily! Vomit is once a year or so. Two, if you’re unlucky.
      Well I guess yours are potty trained! Not Des yet!

  33. This is a great set of questions.

    I think the hardest part of growing old is death too. My mom passed at 54 and her mom paas ed at 65. If the trend is actuate, I’ve already lived half of my life. It’s a tough pill to swallow. However, maybe I’ll be lucky and get to live a lot longer. My grandmother on my dad’s side justcelebrated her 90th, her husband passed in his upper 70s. And my grandfather on my mom side, he was well into his 90s. Ist something that has crossed my mind some bc of my own health issues.

    I want to be able to see all the kids get married and have some grand babies.

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