I can see the dent in my forehead from falling off the porch when I was three-years-old. You can only see it when I’m laughing, which is often. I can see the memories etched into the finest lines – remnants of both laughter and turmoil – and all of the trouble I’ve gotten into along the way. I can see that my skin is still supple and youthful, for now, and as long as I drink enough water, smile enough smiles, sleep enough winks and let enough things out. I can see all the changes. To me, my face looks different every day. To you, it might always look one way – tired or pretty. Average or spectacular. What do I know?
I can see misfired shots and a lack of technical know-how. I can see starts and stops and fears. I can see all of the ways in which I plowed on and plowed through, sometimes too much, and sometimes not nearly enough. Still, I go on.
What I can see is LOVE.
I wish I had known that this is how it could be, and that there’s always a higher. I wish I had know that there’s always a lower. I wish I had known that it’s ok to see the cracks, the scars, the missteps and the misfires, and it’s ok when you can see them too. Even when you’re not looking, they’ll still be there. And even when you’re not looking, the love will be there too.
Everything comes and goes in ripples and waves. Inspiration and perspiration. Highs and lows and creamy middles. Whether I’m talking about PTSD or toothpaste, the love will still be here. I’ll still be here. Mostly, you’ll still be here.
I wish I had known to be less afraid to reach more out – stretching and bending – until it almost hurts. But maybe then I would never have known this blogging love, although it would have come out in a different way. On a different day.
I wish I had known that I’d “meet” all of you, and MEET many of you, because maybe I would have filled my first three years with more love and less fear. Ultimately, I’m ecstatic at how it happened. And ecstatic that there is more.
I wish I had known how beautiful it is to carve your own path with your own voice and your own rules and your mistakes. I wish I had known that you can do sponsored content without selling out, and defeat your trolls without selling your soul.
I wish I had known that we all grow, and that we all grow together, whether we like it or not. Quite like a forest of trees all seeking the same water and the same light, but bending, stretching, growing, standing – in unique directions.
It may not be what you think it will be. It may change, and change again. That’s ok. This week’s Finish the Sentence Friday topic is “I wish I had known…” and there’s still time to write yours. Come link up with your spin: HERE.