**Detailed updates below, but the true stories are #3, #4 and #5 and #1 and #2 are NOT true! How did you do??
This is my own twist on the “Two Truths, One Lie” game I originally saw on the Kiss My List blog.
Just to mix it up, I’m sharing five crazy stories – three are true and two are lies. My theme is college..’cause college? It’s when drinking, freedom and confusion are tasted, perhaps for the first time, by mere children. Babies, really. College. It’s when children who are technically adults act like toddlers. College, where bodily function stories are more common than in parenting.
College. It takes all kinds. And if you must know, I was of the studious and sober kind..nearly all of the time.
Here we go..
1.) I lived with some nutty people in college. During my junior year at Rutgers, one of my apartment-mates had a tendency to get very drunk and binge eat all of our food late at night. The worst part was that she would deny it with the most wide, innocent eyes and the three of us had food missing left and right and we obviously knew it was her eating it! One night after a particularly fun time at a party on College Ave, one of my apartment-mates was very drunk and decided it would be funny to pee in a carton of her own ice cream. That way if our binge-eating apartment-mate came home and wanted ice cream, she’d wind up with a mouthful of pee. The carton remained in the same part of the freezer for the rest of the year, but none of us ever actually threw it out until spring! We never found out if she knew about it, or had eaten some and wanted to pretend she hadn’t.
**This story is false, but I’m pretty sure I had heard of something like this happening when I went to Rutgers, so I created this story out of a rumor.
2.) I’m almost ashamed to post about this here, because of what you will all think of me. Just know it was a lifetime ago and..well, that’s all you need to know. It was April Fool’s Day freshman year and my friends and I wanted to mess with our dorm-mates. So we put saran wrap on the toilets under the lids and we slathered vaseline on top of the toilet seats so people would slide off. That wasn’t the worst, though. We stole a cherry pie from the dining hall and wedged it on top of the bathroom doorway. Our room was next to the bathroom so we actually heard when the next girl walked in the bathroom, and sure enough, she was hit with a pie. No one ever could prove it was us and we heard the girl who was hit was asking around..
**This is false, because I am way too non-confrontational to do something like this, but it is based on a few stories my sister told me about her own college experiences. The toilets and the pie? Totally happened in REAL LIFE. I wonder if those dorm-mates are still looking for my sister and her friends.
3.) If you aren’t already shocked by my behavior, there was my freshman year roommate. She wasn’t very nice to me at times and I’ll leave it at that! Not nice. I have a lifelong onion phobia and after a party late one night, she ordered a sandwich with raw onions. She threw the remains in the garbage can in our bedroom and didn’t take out the garbage the next day. Or the next! After the third day or so, I got so annoyed that I took the entire can of garbage, onions and all, and emptied the whole thing into her closet with her clothes & shoes. Needless to say, the raw onions were gone after I got back from my class later that day.
**Totally true, and I was *nearly* ashamed when I read all of the comments about people thinking this is false and that I’m too nice to do this. I will be honest – I am a nice person, 99% of the time. When someone deletes your phone messages, talks about you behind your back, wakes you up in the middle of the night, is a stone cold you-know-what to you, AND leaves onions in the room for three days, well you may start to snap..
4.) My across-the-hall roommate was such a nice girl but she had the worst roommate luck. I actually can’t even discuss her second roommate because this is a family blog and it is rated “R” or “X.” Her first roommate was of the not showering, not going to class, and muttering down the hallway type of roommate. One day the nice and normal girl “Dawn” overslept on the morning of an exam. Her alarm clock looked tampered with so when she accused her roommate, her roommate started looking all around the room and said very seriously that she had woken up in the middle of the night to see a tiny, crazy clown running around the room and messing with Dawn’s alarm clock. She said he cackled and was about the same size as a table lamp.
**Totally true, and this story is the mild story in the lineup of poor “Dawn” and her horrible roommate situations. Maybe one day I’ll tell more about it, but it’s a bit too dirty for my writing tastes.
5.) And all of these stories are why I’m thankful to hopefully never have another roommate in my life. Sophomore year I lived in a wing with many wild girls. My good friend “Ellen” had a major feud with her roommate “Kelly” after she called the campus police and had Ellen’s car towed. To get back at Kelly, a group of my friends scanned a big photo of her face and printed “LOST DOG” signs ALL OVER campus with Kelly’s photo and a whole blurb about how she may be rabid, she’ll eat you out of house and home, and she responds to many foul names. The posters were printed on neon color posters and I kept finding them for months.
**This one is totally true, and I never knew Kelly’s reaction to it. It is not something I would have ever done to someone, but Kelly was not a nice girl, and I think her roommate needed to find satisfying revenge.
**I have a bonus true story that didn’t make the crazy cut. I had a major crush on a friend of mine in the beginning of my freshman year and I didn’t know how he felt about me yet. I told my sister about him and pointed him out to her one night when she was visiting me at my dining hall. He was wearing a bathrobe to dinner. She marched right up to him and said, “I love your bathrobe. I love you. You’re sexy.” Or something just like that, and I’d be happy if either of them would fact-check this to give me the verbatim! Anyway, he looked stunned for about 30 seconds and then a big smile lit up his face and he said:
“Oh! You’re Tammy’s sister.”
Check in again this weekend and I’ll update with which three stories are true, and which two are false!