Do you have a witching hour of the night? For me it’s between 3:00 and 4:00 am. That’s when my worst fears come to light.
That’s when I fear I’m losing, or I’ll lose, certain parts of myself that I’d rather hang onto.
(Photo credit: Dan Shapiro of Aggressive)
Sometimes, I write my blog posts at 3:00 am.
I don’t mean that I physically write them, but that they come to me on those rare sleepless nights in which so much is on my mind that I’m wide awake and staring out the window. On Saturday night, it was overload. The book I co-authored, and all of my hopes and dreams for it and my writing career, a long lost family member coming back into the folds of our hearts and our lives, a short visit from my parents, a silent falling rain. What was most keeping me awake was my search for words to write.
I was in one of those panics I’m only ever in between the haunting hours of 3:00 & 4:00 am. I couldn’t remember the last time that the words came to me, stopped me in my tracks, and made me fumble for a pen and paper, my phone or my computer.
And so at 3:00 am, when I had my unwarranted fear of losing my words, I kept sing-songing that ghastly old “Worms crawl in, worms crawl out” song. Only I sang,
“The Words Crawl In,
The Words Crawl Out,
Into your stomach,
And out your mouth”
And then I drifted off to sleep, with the comfort that in my case, the words always crawl in (to my mind), and the words always crawl out (onto my computer or pen and paper). By the light of the day, I realized it had only been a week or two since I had been stopped by the words, and then forced to sit and jot them down. In truth, I just had already had too much to write about with the Renaissance Faire, the Ask Away Friday and the book release. I didn’t need the words to come my way last week.
They come when they are needed. And today they came.
What about you? Do you search for words, or do words search for you? For my whole life, I’ve let them come to me, and maybe had to coax them a bit only when I had a deadline. They always come, but sometimes they make me sweat first. Sometimes..
Over the summer after my birthday, I bought a new camera lens. It isn’t the $1,500 one I wanted but it’s wider and closer than anything I had, and I didn’t even have to sell a kidney to afford it. Generally in the past when I’ve gotten a new lens, (a whole one time so far) I’ve taken it on a maiden voyage and then posted about its debut. I’m a bit late in showing you my new lens’ debut, but here it is below. I had rigid standards for the new lens to live up to. Like, does it show friendship?
And wonder? That’s a big one. Wonder.
Does it show new and unique ways of living and loving? (The following were taken at a birthday party with a train rental)
Does it show curiosity?
And last but not least, does it show eyelashes? ‘Cause that’s how I got into this whole photography mess anyway. Eyelashes.
Personally, I think the lens passed all of my rigorous tests. May we find a lot of joy together.