The Boys of Summer Have Gone
Your brown skin shinin’ in the sun
You got your hair combed back and your sunglasses on, baby
And I can tell you my love for you will still be strong
After the boys of summer have gone”
It was after Scarlet had completed her kindergarten year, and then we got a break for summer, and I guess I was patting myself on the back for having survived that mess, and the PTSD it ignited. You see, tonight (Thursday night) is high school orientation and she gave me an out. She had marching band camp, and then marching band bus painting for the county fair school bus demo derby, and then the orientation. During this, the kids get their schedules and get to walk around with their friends. The parents get a presentation, no doubt. Many of my friends have told me it’s ok to skip it. I get three others of these. Scarlet herself gave me an out. And yet, it feels weird. I should have given myself more outs when I needed them; during the debilitating panic attacks before she started kindergarten. That’s not happening anymore. I’m giving myself grace, just the same. I deserve it. I am giving myself more grace than I got from my loved ones.
I am not someone with whom time goes fast for, but this summer was fast for me. I was talking about it last night with someone I had met before, and we saw each other again at a mutual friend’s sitting shiva hours. Someone from my baby group has passed away. I sat with his ex wife last night and thought about these budding high schoolers as newborn babies together. See, I usually am not someone with whom time goes fast for, ever! The good news is that this summer went slowly for Scarlet and Des, and it was filled with certain adventure. The other good news is that last summer was painfully slow for me, so I know that it can still happen in adulthood, even past young adulthood. It’s not like you just reach a point in which it only ever moves and flows a certain way. Rather it swims upstream and downstream; sometimes nearly drowning you and sometimes nearly dehydrating you. It has a funny way of doing that. Time is funny/time isn’t real.
I was looking at photos from five years ago, after baby Astro had a bath (he’s getting groomed today too!) and it didn’t seem like five years ago. In five years from now, Scarlet will be starting her second year of college, Des will be starting his junior year of high school, and I will have two kids firmly in elementary school. No more little girls, ever (I think), but I have these boys, and girl.
It’s no secret that I love summer, and it’s a little stunning how much I don’t look forward to school. I never did as a kid, and in no way as a parent. It’s complicated. I like the free time and the way they grow and thrive. Middle school and high school are more of the real deal and it’s not like when they were both in elementary school and I could take them out for a week to go to Disney World. Back then, it snowed a lot, and they’d wind up missing only 2-3 days in the long run. I still expect the snow, and I still expect everyone to be on my wavelength. I swore to myself long ago that I would never again be tied to calendars and workdays, and I have stood by that.
So of course I don’t love when everyone is on a different wavelength from me, and going into virus season, which is worse than ever. I imagine. Like last year’s triple-demic of flu, RSV, and COVID. Remember the simple days of flu, cold, and lice? When the news didn’t report on school shootings? I don’t look forward to school, but I also do look forward to school. I am still hopeful for their futures, and even my own. Do I think the world is insane? Yes, it is. Always has been and always will be. All you can do is keep on keeping on and send them out into the world, hopefully not rife with viruses and guns, where they will think critically and creatively about this planet. For today, though, it’s summer. This girl and these boys of summer. This summer of 14, 11, 2, 1.
Your brown skin shinin’ in the sun
I see you walking real slow and you’re smilin’ at everyone
I can tell you my love for you will still be strong
After the boys of summer have gone”
The highlight of this summer was being in Rochester and in Albany with you and your boys of summer. I am happy to end it with a trip to you which will have Cassidy and Scarlet this time. I agree about never ending summers for children, and sometimes for us.
This is one of my favorite songs, and yet I sort of hate to hear it because the message makes me sad. Summer is my mojo, and I wish it would never end. The fact that Scarlet is 14 sort of blows my mind.
This summer was slow and fast, but in general time just races by these days. Longs days and weeks turn into blinks where large swaths of time have passed. It’s crazy. Happy back to school time!!
By late August during my early years of grammar school l would be feeling a little sad knowing that summertime was winding down. During my junior high and high school years l actually looked forward to the beginning of the new school year. Growing up allowed me to do more, and to appreciate the excitement of learning and maturing, (well, somewhat) and planning for my future. I fondly remember all those yester years and especially the summer seasons when l carried my Panasonic pocket transistor radio with me almost as much as l now carry my phone. The transistor radio was the technological spark that lit the fuse of my generation’s youth and music cultures.
It is so crazy that another summer is just about gone. The boys look like they are having fun in the Target cart!