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That’s What Dreams Are Made Of

“Yeah, we’ll get higher and higher
Straight up we’ll climb
Higher and higher
Leave it all behind
Oh, we’ll get higher and higher
Who knows what we’ll find?
So baby, dry your eyes
Save all the tears you’ve cried
Oh, that’s what dreams are made of
Oh baby, we belong
In a world that must be strong
Oh, that’s what dreams are made of”

So baby, dry your eyes, Save all the tears you've cried, Oh, that's what dreams are made of, 'Cause we belong, In a world that must be strong

The clock was nearing midnight, so I said goodbye to Thanksgiving/hello to Black Friday.

I foolishly thought that I’d spend the last of Thanksgiving night mostly doing.. you know.. the assignments I had that were due Wednesday. I just wasn’t feeling that, though. Who gives a sick person two days to complete a huge assignment? Why would they want to rush it? I had JUST completed two assignments that had gotten so out of hand, and were completed months so late, because of client disagreements. Miraculously, they were both published this week and I somehow earned double more than originally agreed upon. Why am I telling you this? It’s the late night stream of consciousness. I guess it shows that if I’m not doing something, it’s because I really don’t want to do it. And if I explain myself enough, and kindly, someone might listen and say, “I see what you mean. That wasn’t fair. Why don’t you re-do it and I’ll double your pay?”

Sometimes, probably always, you just have to level with people. Speak up, and be true.

So baby, dry your eyes, Save all the tears you've cried, Oh, that's what dreams are made of, 'Cause we belong, In a world that must be strong

It was an odd duck Thanksgiving, in an odd duck fall. This isn’t a bad thing. It’s just a thing. I can get high on the splendor of the in-between seasons. Energized and ambitious. Cooking and baking and reaching out. The weather turns harsh, and the maintenance seems tedious. My heart freezes over. Or heats too much, to smoking levels. Spring is all fun and games, until early summer humidity and many insects swarm and overwhelm. Fall is all fun and games, until early winter weather and many illnesses swarm and overwhelm. This isn’t a bad thing. It’s just a thing. I know it’s about resilience and keeping a small flame a-glow; a space heater in your heart/soul.

So baby, dry your eyes, Save all the tears you've cried, Oh, that's what dreams are made of, 'Cause we belong, In a world that must be strong

In a week of pink-eye (Des and Sawyer), a bad cold (me – and it was worse than COVID), and the comings and goings and preparation for this strange holiday with strange meanings/histories, I wasn’t always who I want to be. The more buoyant me of early fall. The thing is, as the book says, I’m building buoyancy. I built it years ago and I build it every day, when I can name the most wonderful things that have ever happened to me, after naming the most terrible. It has to be in that order. Any other way might flip you upside down and also inside out. And we want that to happen, but maybe slowly; more peacefully. It’s ok that it didn’t feel the way I expected it to feel.

Even tiny strides are detectable. And maybe have lasting consequences.

So baby, dry your eyes, Save all the tears you've cried, Oh, that's what dreams are made of, 'Cause we belong, In a world that must be strong

I found myself struggling with the Friday post again, the way I’ve been struggling to focus on the work due this week. And it’s ok. I figure I can toss and turn in bed, trying not to cough, and trying to find my place all the way snuggled into the most left point part of the bed, or I can come downstairs with a blanket and an impending sunrise. I can write and wait for the first baby or toddler whine. And who knows what will greet me? These days, you never know. And that’s what changed this Thanksgiving. I think I finally figured out how I want to be a part of it. What do I want for this evening, and for the eventual memory books of the kids? I want to not feel so out of my element. Hosting wasn’t even my first choice. I don’t like getting lost in all of the details, but I also look forward to hosting and learning more about myself and my place in this family. I realized it simply could not go on without me. You don’t have to be the one to cook a turkey for that to happen. You just have to be present in the ways you can. Show up as you.

And it’s all good. If I struggle, it’s ok. I have my writing and my impending sunrise, anyway.

So baby, dry your eyes, Save all the tears you've cried, Oh, that's what dreams are made of, 'Cause we belong, In a world that must be strong

It leads me to a blue morning, with shooting rays of reds and oranges and yellows. Green frost and opening sky. The day gives way to twinkly lights and blue eyes. All of the colors and moods and tones. New and old patterns co-exist. There are shadows and light rays on the walls, and it’s sort of intriguing that everything can be happening all at once. Show up as you, because there’s no one you-er than you. And maybe I’ll lose it a little, use dark humor or sarcasm to cope with a rising worry, and maybe I’ll get mad that someone drank all my eggnog. We’re all a little nutty and we’re all a lot imperfect and I know that there’s no one me-er than me, and all I have to do is show up, in all of the little and big ways that matter. Some days I’ll soar, and some days will fall flat. I may retreat at times, and not know how to come back. Not right away, anyway. Sometimes I may need a little coaxing. I don’t have to be on all of the time and I don’t always have to be writing and rewriting the book. I have to show up, in all of the little and big ways that matter.

I have my writing, and my impending sunrise. Impending hugs, and so much possibility.

So baby, dry your eyes, Save all the tears you've cried, Oh, that's what dreams are made of, 'Cause we belong, In a world that must be strong

“And in the end
On dreams we will depend
‘Cause that’s what love is made of”

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3 Comments

  1. I was feeling blue today but you’ve cheered me, Tamara. I think it’s the season, too. The darkness really settling in. The in-between season that is moving into winter. “We’re all a little nutty and we’re all a lot imperfect” thank you for that. I needed permission today to be a little nutty and imperfect.

    Happy Friday! Love the outfits!

  2. I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving Day! Building buoyancy and resiliency takes effort and the process of how to go about it is different with each of us. Same goes on how to hang on to staying buoyant and resilient. This can be a bit more challenging especially at this time of year when we try to keep our spirits up and the spirit levels of everybody else in our circles of family and friends. Didn’t we go through all this just last year??!! Great Job Scarlet keeping Mom rockin’ her fantastic fall fashions!👍👍Two more👍👍on the song pic Tamara! 🎵

  3. So sorry to hear you were hit with a bad cold. That really steals the joy. Colds make it hard to sleep, and so hard to enjoy anything else. And pink eye – at least that one has an effective treatment, but still no fun.

    Some days are up and smooth, others are down. I don’t love the onset of the deep cold, and even less so the deep dark, but I know there is good in the midst. That’s been my focus recently, whatever is good today.

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