Test Shots.
I will be the first one to tell you how nervous I get before a professional photo shoot.
The thing is, it doesn’t matter how much I’m paid or how close to the client I am. If the photos are to be used professionally, I approach the gig professionally. Even if it’s for my sister. Although, I will bring my baby along on those shoots. (more on that later) Approaching the gig professionally is vastly different than not. If you know me in real life, you may know that my camera is not always in your face at parties or outings, even if you want it to be. If you know me in real life, you now know that my Des or my Scarlet or my plate of food are always first and foremost in my mind. If the kids aren’t present and I happen to be (rarely) not hungry, YOU are first and foremost on my mind. Unless you ask for a photo or two, I generally won’t make the first move.
Unless something irresistible happens. And something irresistible happens a lot.
When I’m about to photograph a stranger, I am nervous. When I’m about to photograph a friend or family member, sometimes I get even more nervous. I tell this to my friends a lot. It’s partly because I’ll see them again and I’d be so mortified if I screwed up their photos. And it’s more than partly that I know them and I know their smiles and their laughter and their life moments and their love. And that, is what I want to capture. I’m always more anxious when I know I can do something, and give it my all.
When I’m less sure about that? I just wing it and hope for the best.
It’s always a process. I wake up that morning with jitters. I take test shots to warm up my camera and, mainly, to warm up my hands, heart and brain. This is how I step into the photography realm. It may be just one shot outside on a day in which I’m curious at how similar the light will be wherever I’m going. It may be shots of an intricate spider web, or of Scarlet’s hands.
It may be nine wild turkeys that showed up in our driveway not long after my recent lens rental was delivered.
These shots were taken two days before the wedding I photographed. I needed a long warm up time. Luckily, life was swirling around me as usual.
(I will show this to future significant others)
If I’m using a familiar lens, I don’t need a two day warmup. Two minutes. Yet I had to see what my rented lens could do.
(Grown by Cassidy and Scarlet in our garden. Wait until you see the big one)
These next shots were taken for warmup the day before the wedding. I was standing in my parent’s driveway and looking out over their pasture. Looks like a nice place to visit, huh?
On the morning of the day of the wedding, we saw a praying mantis in the parking lot of the nursing home/rehab facility when we visited my grandmother.
Test shots. No rhyme or reason, really. Just a bunch of random images and experiences – kinda like my thoughts this week as I decompress off of the heady weekend. I asked my mom today how my Nana is, as I intend to do much more often. Or “more much often”, as Scarlet would say. Apparently my grandmother is a bit pissed that she hasn’t gotten her hair done in awhile. She doesn’t like where she is staying. It’s comforting to know that some things don’t change, even when some things change a heck of a lot. Like my grandmother. There is so much of her heart and mind – totally intact. Her body is less strong and preserved.
Her mind is a gold mine. Diamonds.
Two days of test shots, and I didn’t take her photo. Not this time. I couldn’t use my camera as a shield this time, and maybe that was for a reason I haven’t figured out yet. I hope for more time, but there’s no guarantee.
I just shoot into space sometimes and hope for perfect aim.
I just shoot into space sometimes and hope something sticks.
Even your test shoots are beautiful!Yes, the one of Des smooshed against the window is a must for a future significant other. 🙂 I would be more nervous with someone I don't know than with my family/friends. I'm always worried about what strangers think. I don't know why.
Someone needs to get your grandmas hair done asap! It's sad that she doesn't like where she is staying but I'm thinking at her age she isn't going to like any place that's not "home". I know my grandma (who was not near your grandma's age) did not.
haha! Better than showing future significant others his nudie bath shots, not that I really have any. I can never get past his wet eyelashes in his bath photos. They are that good.
Don't worry, Carla! Someone is getting her hair done this week. It's these little things. And I cannot fathom not having a happy place to call home at nearly 100. It's so frustrating and it's hard to figure out the best solution.
I feel like my whole life is "test shots!" Yours are beautiful. Being nervous means you care. I get very nervous to teach classes when I know the people in them or if it's their first time, etc. I can relate. It's a good thing. I hope it sticks!
Oh I totally hear that! If I were a teacher, I'd be so weird about people I know and love taking my classes. Eep. But hey, you're good at what you do and they're there for YOU.
Seriously, I am jealous, because even your test shots are amazing. Tamara, I know the feeling though of being nervous before starting a big job, because as much a I know my stuff and on my game doing blog designs, I get those pre-jitter butterflies before taking on a new job and hoping that I will do the job perfectly and please my clients. I think just another thing we have in common. Sometimes, I will even play with mocking up a header and button for them before I even begin the work to unwind and see what I can come up with and so similar to your test shots. Nice to know it isn't just me and is a normal reaction. And seriously your photos are just gorgeous and would love you to photograph us any day of the week!! 🙂 xoxo!!
I love that you do that! Mock-ups sometimes lead to permanent decisions for headers and buttons! I don't have that web design brain so I'm sure your mock-ups are better than anything I could slave over for hours.
I would love to photograph you four!! Anytime!!!
Gorgeous photos! And those tongue-on-the-glass pics are priceless. Looks like to me you're going to do great with your rented lens.
Thank you! I had to give it back already, which was a bit sad. That lens costs more than my car, practically.
I think this principle really applies to any profession. The concept of preparing and acting like a professional is key to success. Of course, not everyone's "test shots" turn out as well as yours – everything you shoot looks amazing!
I love hearing about the warmup processes across many other professions. It seems we all have something major in common – the care with which we do our work. And that does lead to nerves, however slight, because we care!
The photos of Des' face mushed up on the glass are some of my favorite, like ever ever. You are amazing. Your photos are amazing. The fact that you care so much about them and think about it and hope for perfect aim and strive to capture the souls of the people – that. That is why you and your photos are amazing.
I just care so much! There’s a vulnerability to being in front of the camera, and now I’m founding just how much there is one behind the camera too.
I don't tend to stick my camera in the face of other adults, I am totally the momparazzi when it comes to my kids, and their friends. My daughter is a dancer, so any performance is totally fair game and if you perform with her, you shall be photographed. Sorry, them's the rules! I agree about professional gigs though, totally nerve wracking! I love being paid to do photography but it's some seriously scary stuff, too!
That's awesome – momparazzi. I wish I could do that but my brain isn't good at the multi-tasking it takes. Maybe it will be different when I don't have such young children. Young children who get into everything when I'm immersed in anything else!
I like how little Des and my little Addy like to make sucky faces on glass doors. And I would like for your parents to adopt me so I can live there….please.
Right? It’s so beautiful where they live. The horses and the cat and they have dogs too.
The sucky faces make for some interesting photos!
Those shots from your parents are amazing – I love that view and that space!!!
And, I love your pictures of Des, especially when he is smushed against the window!!!
Thank you! My parents have such a beautiful place. And this time of year – made for pictures!
You are such an amazing photographer because even your test shots look great!
I think it's so sweet that you're nervous because that shows just how much you care. You want the pictures to be perfect because you love the people and you want that love to show through the photos.
Yes! It’s so important to me to show that love or that knowledge with my camera.
Love your test shots, Tamara! Those are some giant turkeys. I've seen a few wild ones around here, but nothing like that. And Des is just adorable with his mouth on the door. Classic.
I just couldn't believe there were nine! And that was why Des was at the door like that. He probably wanted to eat them! He was yelling things to them, and pounding on the door.
all cool shots. 🙂
can't wait to see the "big pumpkin!"
Yes, it's coming!! It makes this one look tiny.
I feel like I take test shots to warm up my hands, heart and brain with everything, from teaching yoga to practicing yoga to writing, to baking…to just being a friend and being human. Your test shots are gorgeous. Des looks a thousand times older than he did a month ago. How does that happen?
I don’t know how it happens so fast, but he’s still huggably delicious and deliciously huggable! I imagine he always will be but he still lets me toss him around. He misses you.
Great pictures and so interesting to read about the process of doing a photo shoot…and your pictures are great! :)-Ashley
Thank you! The process is so different for everyone, but I imagine most of us have our ways to get into the zone.
Love the pics of Des! Definitely set those aside to pull out on date nights and wedding day! I echo Allie’s comment. Getting nervous shows you care. The great thing about nervous energy? You can use it to your advantage and turn it into game day (or photo shoot) adrenaline. With your passion and talent, I have no doubt the wedding photos are beautiful.
Yes! Whatever it takes to get into the zone. I think channeling that care and those nerves probably helps me in the long run. I wouldn't want to be too casual about it.
You are an amazing photographer! My friend is a pro photographer and gets super nervous as well, but the shots are always amazing. BTW..love the ones of Des licking the glass, such a kid thing to do. Oh and that pumpkin one, I am in love!
Thank you! I'm glad to hear others get nervous too. Sometimes I feel like it's just me and my nervous energy but I think nerves are probably universal in professions that people feel passionate about.
I imagine the nervousness is because you are so passionate about what you do. I love to see the world through your lens. And yes please save those pictures for future significant others. I love seeing pictures of Alex when he was a child, with his sweet grin and bowl cut. He is not amused but I love it.
Aw! The bowl cut. I'm trying not to give one to Des but it's hard to know what to do with stick straight hair. He needs a little product, but I haven't used any!
Bet my Android camera can’t do that. I think you have the right attitude about bringing your professionalism with you to your shoots. Aside from the pics, it’s what clients will remember.
My Android couldn't do anything! I had to give it up for an iPhone.
And thank you – I want to be memorable to clients.
Wanna come out to eastern MA after my baby is born and take candid test shots? 😉 I LOVE those shots of Des! And I want to hang out at your parents’ pasture, it looks so serene. I hope the wedding shoot went well, I’m sure your photos turned out beautifully!
ha! They wouldn’t really be test shots, though. I’d be all in and probably nervous too.
My parent’s pasture is amazing.
You are an amazingly talented photographer. I think it’s natural to be nervous. Can I just live in your parents driveway? That scene is so beautiful.
I think we should set up a whole camp in their driveway. It's big enough. And thank you for your beautiful words.
Being nervous is a sign (to me) that you will do your absolutely best work for someone. And I get how serving friends is harder than serving strangers. You just see those people differently anyway!
Yes, so true! It’s interesting to me how differently people look to me when I’ve known them for awhile. Even if they change nothing about themselves, the inner really comes out.
I love your test shots. You are so talented. One day I’d like to take a photographer class and learn about settings. Right now I just have a Nikon D40 that is set on auto. One lens.
Well your pictures do look very clear! And I know all about your process with Natalie and it works!
My best shots should be as good as your test shots! I like what you said about shooting into space and hoping something sticks. I feel like that about my writing – I shoot it out there and hope that it will positively affect at least one person. There’s a great satisfaction in getting something you love to stick. Even if it’s a toddler’s tongue to the glass!
Oh, your writing is certainly sticking! There is that breathless wait, though, after hitting "publish" or "send" and hoping for the best.
The fact that you are nervous before these gigs shows how much you care and what kind of person you are! Lucky people to get you as a photographer! Love all your test shots! Des is going to love showing those pictures to his future girl!!
haha, I bet he will! And thank you. I wish I could travel the world taking photos.
NINE turkeys??? OHMYGOSH!! Amazing… as are every one of your incredible photos. Your words bring light to the beauty behind them. I love how you live so deeply and fully behind the lens AND in front of it. 🙂
Thank you! I used to think I could only do one or the other, so your words mean the world. It’s tough finding the balance sometimes.
I could not imagine a professional photographer like you to still have that feeling before the photo shoot for your clients happens…I have no idea that is how it's like, no wonder why you take dramatic shots…your son's window shots are funny, the horses are beautiful…it does not look like just a warm up.
I think more and more experience does take away the nerves a bit, but there’s always things that are new and firsts so far. Ugh. I hope I calm down a little!
Oh that my staged shots would be as gorgeous as your test shots! I totally agree about being more nervous for friends/family than strangers. That was always the way I felt about being on stage when I was a teenager. (BTW, those shots of Des at the door/window are fantastic! Love the slobbery faces!)
Don’t laugh but I was so excited last night when I was going through Bloglovin’ and I saw this fresh post from you with no comments yet! I was so excited I was going to be the first commenter. My attempts from my iPad failed! So had to wait until I got to the PC during baby’s nap! The good thing is, I’m here. I really loved you taking us through the process of how you warm up. I have been secretly interested in photography for a few years now and I am just sooo curious. It’s nice to get tid bits through reading your blog. 🙂
Aw! Yes, you're still here. I love to be the first to comment on a post although it doesn't happen a lot. I'm glad you're "secretly" (not so secret anymore) interested in photography. It's a wonderful thing.
I LOVE your test shots! Des, the horses, the wild turkeys, everything! I've been seeing wild turkeys every morning when I take my oldest son to school and I always want to stop and take a picture! But I can't. One of these days were are going to be early. We saw a baby deer the other day too. And some older ones. You are going to be amazing!!
I'm so glad you're seeing these wild turkeys too. We have them everywhere! I'd love to see a baby deer. I saw one in NJ last week. So cute.
I love my farm pics!
It's a great place!
Your test shots put my actual shots to shame! They are beautiful and those photos of Des up against the window are absolutely priceless!
Thank you, Lisa!
So gorgeous! All of your test subjects – just beautiful.
The Des in the Window series is my favourite. 🙂
Thank you! They made me crack up.
passion in your test shots, my friend, you have it going girl, go rock it!!!! Your test shots were phenomenal! XOXO.
Thanks!! There is definitely passion there!
Horses! (squeals.)
Right? I thought of you! 🙂
I love hearing that you get nervous and hearing how you work through it, it takes courage to force yourself to deal with it and keep moving forward and doing it anyway. You take beautiful pictures and I would think you'd be totally comfortable. Is it weird that I feel better about my anxieties knowing that others have them too?
I have to ask: what lens did you rent? I was looking at all of your pictures, studying the background detail of the trees, the feathers on the turkeys and of course the two adorable little teeth! I love my 3 lenses but, you know, it's fun to know what's out there!
I agree that hearing about other people getting nervous makes me feel better. I also have this thing where I think everyone else is “real” and I’m like…fake. A hack? It’s weird. We’re all in this crazy world together.
The lens is the 70-200mm. So it’s meant for long aisles in church weddings! It gets pretty wide open but the thing weighs five pounds so a steady hand is hard! All in all, not my favorite, but I’ve heard it’s a must for weddings.
You know I love my little 50mm best…still.
You have nothing to worry about…. you are an amazing photographer!!!
Thank you! Unfortunately, I can never remember anything good about myself when I'm nervous.
All the shots are great! I especially love the warm breath on the window with full lips shots. 🙂
Thank you! I thought they were quite comical and I couldn't miss it.
Your shots are great Tamara 🙂 I would love to have you like photographer for me and my blog too 😀
That would be so awesome! All those beautiful clothes and accessories.
How was the wedding? Glad it was informal. I love those horse shots-Im jealous you were able to get to take those. Im going to find out what its like to rent camera equipment this week. lol
Good luck with the rental! Wedding was great. I can’t imagine doing formal ones regularly – how do you sleep, eat and breathe!?
Really, all of life is a test shoot. We just keep clicking and hoping for the best, no? 🙂
Kinda! We are certainly better equipped and more comfortable some times more than others.
your shot of the praying mantis is straight up national geographic. beautiful work!
Thanks! It was just a crappy parking lot in NJ – nice to see something so beautiful.
Nine wild turkeys in your driveway…wow! That was definitely something to capture! Oh no, please don’t embarrass little Des, lol! All of these shots are beautiful! You are one talented photographer lady!
Thank you! I do hope those turkeys come back.
OMG, Tamara! You are so talented. Your pictures are gorgeous! Those are test pictures?? I want your test pictures! I love the ones of Des leaning on the window. I get what you are saying about your Nana. Some moments are hard to bring out the camera and capture because some moments hurt and who wants to remember those? I do hope you get some of your Nana (I know you will) so that at some point you can look at it with love and not the heaviness that you are feeling right now. Big hugs! XO
Thank you. I hope so too. She's having a 100th birthday party. It's my intention to take photos there – a sweet end-of-life celebration. Hopefully not too end, but well, she's going to be 100. Realistically, we know there aren't 100 years left!
I love all of the Tamara, especially the ones of Des and the drooly shirts <3 Make sure you get her hair done, and maybe a manicure too!
Yes, a manicure! Great idea. I'm hoping the hair thing already happened, or is scheduled.
Love all your photos and I think his significant other already saw them because she's here with me looking and pointing. I had to introduce her one more time. You take amazing photos and I'm stumped to understand where the nervousness comes from. You know you would do great! I have complete faith in you. btw those horses are amazing. I've never ridden before but now there's another reason why I need to come your way. We're here in CO saying a prayer for Nana as well that you'll take her picture before its too late. ((huggs))
Thank you so much for your prayers and awesome words. I think the nerves come from many places – one is lack of experience in certain realms – weddings, new experiences. The other is more anxiety that I know I can do something, but I hate waiting to prove it. I get very antsy and ready to rock it.
Even your test shots are incredible. Talented lady!
Thank you! They are a little silly and random, but I like them.
Purple hair. That is awesome. I'm glad you said that about being nervous. People think that being practiced or good at what I do (not my words) should make me less nervous, but in fact, I feel it more. I feel like I'm holding something breakable in my hands when I do this. (I am, literally. That damn camera/lens) But I'm also holding their trust in me to do this well.
you brought back memories of this little woman in the nursing home I worked for. She would always complain about how grey her hair was (she was pushing 90). One day, they had a hairdresser come in and she asked to have her hair dyed in this deep auburn colour.
It turned out purple.
Like purple purple.
But she thought that she was hot shit. And it was awesome.
I won’t lie but i’d be nervous too. Capturing someone else’s life event is scary…but let me tell you…you are amazing. You have a gift of seeing beauty in the little things…things that go unnoticed…and those little bits of life are what makes those photos real and special xxo
"I just shoot into space sometimes and hope something sticks." It sure does, my dear. Nervous or not, you deliver beauty with a professional flair that is truly enviable. What a blessing, Tamara.
Thank you so much – this means the world.
Your test shots are gorgeous. I totally get more nervous when I have to do something – work, teach, etc. – family or friends because I know that I will see them again and because their opinion means so much to me. With people I don't know, the fact that I don't know them or might not see them again seems to give me more confidence, or at least some more confidence to take more risks which often pays off. It's an interesting dynamic.
Beautiful photos, I can't believe those are your warm up shots. #jealous! I love those photos of little Des sucking the window, definitely a must for a future significant other. Aaaand wow, your parents live in a calendar, what a gorgeous place to get to wake up to every morning!
I think it is so endearing the way you get nervous to take professional photographs for people. It's like you're the beautiful person that doesn't know how beautiful they are and shouldn't have any worries at all 🙂
Oh my gosh, look at Des with smushed face. He will be so happy you preserved that moment when he's 13. It's our job as mothers to take those photos.
I totally agree! It's maybe one step above naked bathtub pics. Maybe one half of a step!
I really feel that! Of course, repeat business is nice so of course I give my all to strangers, but it just feels so differently.
Ah, thank you! I get so, so nervous. I'm not sure you'd find it endearing if you could see me arriving to a park 15 minutes early and pacing and walking off the nerves! I always pray that my clients won't be early too…
Are those the same turkeys that caught your nude review? Or am I mistaking myself?
I loved reading about your process, especially since it is similar to mine. And that pasture looks amazing!! Can your parents adopt me? :0