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You Take The Good. You Take The Bad.

It starts.

The bad. Some of you may have noticed that my blog was a little broken last week. Comments would time out, my beloved WordPress mobile app wasn’t working, and the the blog itself would only load when it saw fit to load. I had some panicked calls and emails to the two smart & lovely ladies who built my business website and logo, and the dear friend who built my blog.

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The good. A few weeks ago, I participated in a #Blogging411 video show and it was only semi-embarrassing because during the little rehearsal, my co-hosts could hear Cassidy yell out, “What the hell is that?” During the show I got to talking with Randy, of iHelpers, and their motto is actually, “Let Us Do Your Tough Stuff,” which I learned a long time ago was the way to go. That’s why I hire people for a lot of my tough work – and by the way, I do ALL of my own photography and writing, in case you were wondering! I just mean the tech stuff. Nuh uh. I don’t do it. So I called upon Randy, because I remembered his wisdom. He set instantly to work for me that very day (Saturday), in diagnosing my problem (hosting), fixing it, and setting me up with new domain management and hosting. Yay! It’s probably going to be faster around here too. I’m very happy with these changes.

Maybe even close to, “I just won $500 and I’m about to eat peanut butter cup pie” happiness. Which describes this below photo:

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The bad. Between the broken blog, the broken business website too (same hosting issue) and a pileup of photography work (which is supposed to be good but just feels heart-pounding), I had a “gone” weekend. I have described those before. It’s when I’m inadvertently invisible, partly due to internal issues and partly due to external issues, which sounds a bit like what went wrong with my websites. Sometimes I feel like my family would be better off, or just fine, without me. I don’t think that’s a particularly uncommon fear of someone who has lost a parent at a young age. You see, that’s my normal. Or it was. So I can’t help but be forced to worry/wonder that it might happen to me too, and how would my kids be in that horrific situation?

tuesday ten

The good. I woke up this morning to Scarlet and Des in my bed. Scarlet said to me, “I missed you so much this weekend when you didn’t go on adventures with us. You are a great Mama.” And also, I don’t plan on going anywhere, despite the random fears that probably many parents have. And also, I had a really great photo shoot this weekend with a wonderful famly.

That said, all of this is meant to test out my new blog, even if it doesn’t look new, and to introduce my #TuesdayTen post – What You Love and Hate About Back to School. I know I’m a day early here, but Rabia and Lisa have a good one this week, as usual.

The Liebers

1. The good. Fresh, new beginnings in the fall chill.

2. The bad. I have anxiety about fresh, new beginnings in the fall chill. Not always, but this year I do.

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3. The bad. I really hate the end of summer. I hate when beach towns close down. I cry listening to “Boys of Summer.” I’m always bewildered that it has to end, year after year, and that we’re about to face another winter.

4. The good. Moose are better in the fall anyway.

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5. The good. All new things. New clothes, new shoes, new backpack, new supplies. New information, new teachers, new classmates. And the way it can still make you feel like YOU’RE the one going back to school, even though you’re not.

6. The bad. See above.

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7. The good. More time to do work and build my business!

8. The bad. More time to miss them..

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9. The bad. I’ve never done this before.. so I don’t even recognize it as a good or bad thing – just as a scary thing.

10. The good. It may even be wonderful.

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  1. Sometimes, when the bad seems to overshadow the good – it’s better.

    Mrs. Garrett would tell you the same.

    Deep breaths Mama, you’re going to get through this. Em goes back to school tomorrow. Second grade. new teacher, new class room — all new class mates. She’s excited. I’m terrified.

    I think this time, I’m going to follow her lead.

    1. Well putting that as your name (which makes sense because it IS your name) made my morning. Also you are my first comment on this thing so it’s showing me that comments work. Yay! That seems highly important, no?
      Ah, second grade! I loved second grade.
      How were you when she started kindergarten? I seem to have PTSD from my own traumatic experience and I wish I could be following my daughter’s lead more because she’s excited while I’m terrified.
      Just like you said.
      I’ll just think of you and Mrs. Garrett and feel better.

      1. I was a hot mess for Kindergarten. I took the entire day off, and was horrified that she was going to be sobbing and crying, and hating me for sending her to torture.

        I could not have been more wrong.

        She loved every minute, and couldn’t wait to go back the next day. There were days when she cried after getting off the bus, but we figured out it was days that she had a difficult time getting out of bed. There weren’t many of them.

        1. Scarlet is excited and she’s so well-adjusted, especially compared to me! She was a little nervous but we’ve been going to kindergarten play dates every Thursday at the school, and she is getting close with the kids and I am meeting their parents. It’s such a nice feeling. And yet I still feel like a bigger hot mess every day that inches closer to it.

  2. I’ve been looking at the good and bad a lot lately. The key for me is to see the good that comes from the bad. There’s always good.

    I’ve been so absent from reading and commenting on blogs due to the crazy couple of weeks I’ve had. It’s nice to be back. πŸ™‚

    1. It’s nice to see you back! And everybody needs a break. I never really take them but more and more lately, I’ve been going a little easy on myself.

  3. The good: You’re gonna get it right!

    I think you (and I – and lots of our friends) put too much pressure on yourself to be perfect. You’re a wonderful person. You are already better than perfect to all of us who love you.

    1. Thank you so much! I definitely think there is that part of me that wants to be perfect at everything, but it shows up in odd ways. Then there are other things that I don’t care at all about that maybe I should!

  4. Aww, so glad you did get it fixed, but I will admit it was probably one of the best Saturdays in awhile even with Kevin working all day and me having to go to that kiddie party sans Kevin with both girls, because we got to finally talk uninterrupted on the phone for over 2 hours! Seriously mean it when I say I love you and what can I say about your list, but definitely did give most of my own pros and cons here as well for the end of the summer, too!! πŸ™‚ xoxo!!

    1. Oh I love you so much and talking to you on the phone was amazing! I know you would’ve been so good at helping, but the underlying problem was just that I needed to switch to better hosting and I’ve been thinking about that for a while. And I really didn’t want to bother you on a beautiful Saturday. I will say that talking to you made me feel better than anything else in those horrible days.

      1. Trust me I totally understand and I am sorry that it was Saturday. You know Kevin didn’t get home until almost 5 pm and was at the birthday party all day pretty much. By the time I got home, we went out to get a quick bite to eat, vegged out watching TV and fell asleep watching Sex and the City (the first movie). Not joking when I say it was a crazy weekend and had to do all my errands yesterday afternoon. I am contemplating taking the end of the week off a bit with Labor Day Weekend and summer’s last hurrah to be honest. But as crazy as the weekend was just glad we got to talk on the phone and best phone call I have had in sometime!!! xoxo πŸ™‚

        1. It was so much fun! You have to love a phone call with no awkward pauses. At all! And I will say that I’m glad you specified it was the first movie. The second Sex and the City movie was terrible!

          1. Totally no awkward pauses and I know just so much fun. And love that you said that about the second movie, because omg it was absolutely awful and the only part I remotely enjoyed was the beginning with the wedding and Liza Minnelli singing, otherwise could have lived without it!!!

  5. Happy to hear you got your blogged fixed. I love all the new fall clothes that come out around back to school time. I also love that everything is less crowded when kids are back at school(like our Chuck E Cheese trip when their were only six other kids there…I don’t really care for large crowds). I hate the increased traffic during peak hours.

    1. I am so with you because I hate crowds. And it’s funny because we see Chuck E. Cheese commercials all the time but I didn’t know we had one near us. Yesterday when I was at work, Cassidy took the kids and they loved it! Came back with stories. We still have six flags season passes and I know that they change their hours to weekends only, but I’m hoping for a few days to go when it’s empty but I can still use a pass on a weekday.

  6. I love the way you write this. There’s a lot of good and bad with everything. The last couple of weeks have been stressful for me. I hope things go better for you this week. Scarlet is such an impressive little girl. I can’t wait to see her grow up.

    1. Thank you for saying that! I just love everything she says. She lifts me up. And that’s a lot to say. Lately I have been very stressed too. It seems to be going around and I hope for smoother days for all of us.

  7. wow, the blog comming down is a nightmare I have. My hubby is a real tech wiz, but doesn’t really have the time to help me out much. I really need to find someone I can call when things will go all katywumpuss! Good luck with kindergarten, you’ll do great!

    1. My husband is a much better tech whiz than I am, and I don’t think he could’ve helped me over the weekend. It wound up being a hosting issue and it was affecting less people than their widespread outages so they didn’t even really know about it when I called them in a panic. I just got the new hosting and I couldn’t be happier with the customer service! It’s funny how much these things affect us. I love my blog very much.

  8. I don’t like the end of summer either. I feel like all month I’ve been dreading the approach of fall (or more accurately, the fact that fall means winter is coming). Glad people were able to help you with the hosting issues!

    1. I am so with you. I adore fall. I live in New England where it’s absolutely perfect. It’s just that it leads to winter. And some years I’m okay, but other years I really can’t handle winter. I wonder if eventually I will have to move back to California. The new hosting is amazing! I can’t think of enough words to describe what a relief it is.

  9. Aww, Scarlet’s little socks and shoes are too cute! I’m so glad you got the technical issues figured out with your blog. Its never fun to have those things pop up. I understand all too well, so I know you’re relieved to have them squared away. πŸ™‚

    1. It’s funny because when you’re in the thick of it, it really feels like a nightmare. This blog means a lot. When something is wrong, I just can’t relax for days. So to have all of this fixed and improved, is like nothing else.

    1. I really will miss my kids, although Des will really only be in daycare twice a week for a part day! I think I’ll understand back-to-school season as a parent truly this year. Part-time, half day preschool wasn’t like this.

  10. “Boys of Summer” is also good road trip music…or it is for me as are the Eagles. Thank you again for sharing something that specifically zeroed in on me…going into “invisible” mode. I get that, Tamara πŸ™‚ I’m glad your site is working good now and please have a really good week πŸ™‚

    1. It used to happen a LOT! The feeling invisible and in part, making it happen although I didn’t want to do that. It happens less now because I have a family and a job and it’s just harder to fade away.

      So glad this comment didn’t time out, Mike! Ah, for it to be fixed.

  11. Back to school = Fall. Fall = Pumpkin Spice Latte!

    I am so glad you have figured out your blogging problems!

    I can’t decide if I’m excited about Malone starting Kinder next week or sad. I think I’m mostly excited but I feel guilty for even saying that…

    1. Blogging problems suck! I thought it was plug-in problems, but nope, it was hosting. I seem to find incredible people to help – I have to keep doing that.
      I’m definitely excited Scarlet is starting kindergarten – but Des is still around so it’s not like that all-around relief feeling. Just some jitters and some excitement at taking him to so many cool places.

    1. Me too! That photo was taken years ago and I am still trying to find shoes like that to fit her now. When I was her age, my mom dipped my Mary Jane’s into glue and then into red glitter so I could be Dorothy for Halloween. Nowadays we just go to target!

  12. So glad to know that you already got your blog fixed! πŸ™‚ I haven’t experienced an issue in commenting here so I supposed when I commented on your last post, everything was all good. Then I read your FB post…
    Scarlet is such a sweet little/big girl! I can see why all the new things can both be good and bad for you. I always love looking at fall photos! And of course, we don’t have that season here so also hoping to see some fall photos here on your blog soon! πŸ™‚

    1. Fall is our state’s time to shine. Now granted it was pretty awesome in New Jersey too. They’re called leaf peepers – they are tourists who come just to see our foliage. It is that good. And just the smells of wood burning, hot coffee and apple cider. I do love it!

  13. I hope you find a lot of good in this school year! Sorry to hear about your blog problems. I had the worst anxiety this weekend and it was awful. I thought of you though and how debilitating it is, yet you push through. Thank goodness for the good things like friends & family & blogs πŸ™‚ that help us stay motivated.

    1. I am so sorry you had bad anxiety this weekend! What does bad anxiety mean to you? Is it just bad thoughts, or does it include symptoms?
      I do get heartened that many of us are in this together, and even if people can’t relate, they are still there for me. And I hope I am there for them too!

  14. AT least you have a good for all the bad, yes? I hate the end of summer too and it hard down here to know when the end is the end. My kids started school on the 7TH!!!! The local schools already are having their football games and it’s weird because it’s AUGUST! It was in the upper 90’s this weekend, yet my fall issue of Southern Living arrived in the mail. But with the intense heat, I am ready for some of the chill.

    1. Wow!! The 7th! Well you must get out way before us. Last year we had kids in school until the end of June! I have heard that in the south, they end school in May because of the heat. However, isn’t it even more hot in August??

  15. Since we’re on our second year of full time preschool, I’m telling myself that I’m not going to freak out next year about kindergarten. We’ll see… Right now I’m just trying to survive this move-that-will-not end. Are you starting to feel a chill in the air? I’m so jealous. I absolutely love fall, but back-to-school is our hottest time of the year. We’ve had highs of 100 degrees here for the past week, and it is sapping my will to live.

    1. Last year we just had Scarlet starting her second year of preschool and I really didn’t have a shred of anxiety! That does not mean that a lot will change for you in a year! You will be fine. I have my own reasons for the anxiety which have to do with post traumatic stress from my own kindergarten experience.
      We do already have a fall chill in the air. It’s been down to the 50s at night, and mostly in the 70s in the daytime. Hitting 80 has been surprising. This week is actually hot. We haven’t had a hot summer at all. Not one heat wave.

  16. I would freak out with tech issues. My 13 r old is my tech support and getting annoyed that I still don’t know how to work my smart phone. I am kinda buried under the bad right now so I get this.

    1. I am so sorry. The bad does tend to pile up and overwhelm. I feel like I have both at once, which really doesn’t help anxiety. I have so many work opportunities and my sister’s wedding, and the kids being healthy and happy. And then there are some tough things too.

  17. Our last week before school starts and the sun has finally saw fit to shine upon us! Next week: school.
    I have George Micheals’ “Freedom” all cued up and ready to play. I guess my days of anxious parenting is somewhat behind me. Now… all kids in school: will I be a working mom again? And there you go: welcome back anxiety.
    I have no clue. Where.To.Begin?
    What do I even want to be? I need a hug.

    1. I have to say that I love that song very much! And I do get happy to hear about your anxious days being behind you, even if they come back every now and then. It is tough to figure out what to do when you have committed yourself into raising children and then they are all in school.
      Just know that summer comes every year! And you are so needed at 3 PM every day! And you will be good at anything you choose to do for work.

  18. Wow, it is lightning fast over here! Your tech people have some serious skills, I’d keep them on the speedial list.

    Starting the school year is so expensive, luckily we have uniforms, which i thought were a drag at first, but now after seeing all of the money we have saved I am so thankful for them.

    Good luck with taking your cutie on her fist day. I have a hard time with that every year no matter how old they are πŸ™

    1. Uniforms! Oh to never have to think about any of this. Scarlet just dresses herself these days, which can be very comical. I’m just glad she can still get away with that without being teased.

      My tech people are so amazing, I can’t even believe it. I will recommend this service to anyone in the world. I will shout it from the rooftops!

  19. I’m having one of those days that seems to be lots of bad mixed in with lots of good. I’m also having website issues + my hosting was down for awhile (but perhaps the two are connected and it’s time for me to switch, I maybe be checking out iHelpers later if Sam can’t figure out the issue). But in between the annoyance of that and just feeling super off this morning and snapping at Sam for no reason, I *think* Eve said “Mama” and was actually calling out for me, instead of her usual baby babbling “mamamamamama,” and she learned how to pull herself up into a standing position. I heard her crying after I put her down for her nap (not unusual), but after on and off whimpering for awhile I went to check on her and she was standing, I think she was stuck! While I felt bad for her, it was so cute, and I love seeing her reach new developmental milestones, it just blows me away every time.

    1. Ah, that is so adorable! My favorite milestones are words. Although I will say that reading might be one of my favorite milestones for the kids because it was my favorite for myself.
      There are widespread outages right now. The hosting company I used as well as another one that shares servers with them. I’ll text you about that. However I just recommend iHelpers in general.
      Just to have that much human interaction, (not on hold for an hour) customer service, and attention to detail. My blog is completely different. It is so much more up to speed and I am so happy.

  20. Moose! So the one I saw last week was just a young one, curiously looking at the cars driving by on the highway πŸ™‚
    Moose season is just starting around these parts anyway!
    September is actually my favourite month of the year and I’m pretty excited about it, albeit horrified that I have to go clothes shopping with my son… He is a total pain in the ass to shop with because he doesn’t want to try anything on… however, last week, when he had to wear long pants (because everything else was in the laundry. Ahem.) it became clear that he grew about 3 inches (!!!!) this summer (!!!!) and since he will have to wear long pants again sooner or later it’s time to go shopping… xoxox!

    1. 3 inches in one summer?! My kids don’t seem to grow like that but if I remember from my own use, I grew 7 inches between middle school and high school. And it hurt. And people barely recognized me my freshman year.
      Tell the moose I said hello! I absolutely love September. I absolutely love October. It’s November through March I can do without.

  21. As I sit here typing this I am waiting for a phone call from my son to hear how everything went. I cried a bit before I went to bed last night and I paid him extra special attention this morning. He is braver than I. I hope that my heart (and anxiety) can return to normal once I hear how his day went.

    1. Please let me know how it went! You are my inspiration. I feel like crying all of the time and I really feel like she will be okay. I think the problem is me, and I will be able to rise above it when she inevitably flourishes. By the way, saw the pictures on Facebook and he could not look more handsome.

  22. I hire people to do my tech stuff too. I have NO IDEA how to do any of that. I tried to figure it out and I couldn’t. I felt like I was in algebra class again when I saw all the codes. Where did they go? And why?

    Yay for Moose pictures! My kids would love to see them.

    I’m ready for cooler temperatures but not TOO cool, as I chill easily.

    1. Oh I hate winter so much! Okay so about math and codes, now I realize it’s been 10 years since I went to college and things have changed. I did so well on my math college placement exams that I didn’t have to take any kind of math ever. To this day. The problem is that I had to take an HTML class, which back then, let me tell you I had no idea what I was doing. I still don’t! And I’m just guessing that it was an HTML class. I think it was something even more horrible.

  23. Good and bad, beginnings and endings. I cried in the bagel shop today while writing about just that. I
    missed my babies, bad. They are growing and thriving, good. Glad your blog is fixed – those techy glitches make me batty.

    1. The tech issues give me nervous tics. And they make me want to throw things. Did you mean that you missed your babies today because they’re at school? Or that you missed them as babies? And I hope you had a good bagel! And I’m hugging you virtually, which probably doesn’t feel the same. But I’m here.

  24. I thought the guy I hired was going to be like your guy – nope – he never wanted to work on my blog and even though he said he knew what he was doing, he actually knew less about it than me – it was a rough month+ of blog issues for me. Now Chris is back to handling it – at least he sees my melt-down level and hears me say that I’m done blogging because I can’t handle the site not working – then he works for hours at night on it. (and, that might have been the worst run-on sentence ever!!!)
    I know that the first few days of school/preschool will be a bit rough but then you will love the extra time you have (guilt-free!!!).

    1. Oh, Kim! A whole month!? Three days and I lost it. Go to my link above and send iHelpers an email! Seriously. I’ve never worked with a better company. I am saving money by breaking up with my old host and this is SO much faster and better. And not being on hold for an hour.. each day. And then free time for Chris! And no giving up blogging! That’s an order.
      I think you’re right – once my kids are happily and steadily in school, I will feel better. I will!

  25. You take the good, you take the bad and you know what you have? The facts of life. Hahaha, sorry. I had to do it. Love this post though!

  26. The thing that struck me the most about this was I think the exact opposite about my kids losing me. As you know, I lost my mom when I was 17 and I feel like my kids lives would be a complete and utter disaster without me here. I know that sounds amazingly self-centered, but I think it’s a direct result of losing my mom so young, which is why I was fascinated to read that you think the exact opposite?! I’m SO happy Scarlet had some loving words for you to set your mind straight!! xoxo

    1. It’s so fascinating that I had to answer quickly. You would think I would think the way you do because it happened to me, and I was such a hot mess about it and I still am sometimes. It’s different though because I was only three going on four. Well of course all situations are unique. But I grew up thinking I was nothing. That somebody could leave me so easily because of something I did. Very different developmental things, huh?

  27. Your site worked for me though a comment timed out and I had to paste it in because I’m a clever cntrl c girl. Yay for upgrading! I love new beginnings and the excitement of unknown possibilities but completely understand the anxiety behind them too. That comment about your family being fine without you is a sad thing to say but it’s also extremely comforting to think that your family would have no shortage of love, and that you’ve given them a lifetimes worth of love in your very short present day life. It’s dark but I like that you’re willing to go there because it’s been your reality and it’s yours for expressing.

    1. Uh oh – that first statement – do you mean this happened today? Or last week when it was down? Inquiring minds!

      It is sad about feeling worthless sometimes. I think that it’s because I experienced a tragic loss so young, that I thought it was my fault and it was because I wasn’t worth sticking around for. Sad and illogical, but that’s the brain of an almost four-year-old!

      Totally dark.. but totally worth exploring.

  28. Well, I had the same issues last month and had to change servers becausey traffic spiked and suddenly my host said “Nope, no more room for you and we are shutting you down.” It’s horrible. I totally switched hosts, traffic is awesome, and life is better. I am so glad things are better for you as well. Life is changing here too. I am probably going back to work full time in the medical device field and hopefully can keep the blog going, but probably not as often as I do now. We will see, it’s my baby and I would be sad to see it go after so much invested. Anyway…I so happy you are all better again!

    1. That is so horrible and I think something similar happened to Michelle too. And she used the same one I used to use. Until yesterday, that is.
      Much better.
      I really hope you’ll keep your wonderful blog going strong, but I do understand the pull of working more. I had to cut back a little when more photography jobs started coming in.

  29. Oh it was over the weekend! Not today- you’re tip top today! And as far as the worthless thing…ehh I don’t see it as that as much as I see it as completely amazing and irreplaceable but having left a huge load of love that would make due if life was so cruel as to take my precious and beloved Tamara away

    Ps I’m on the blog lovin app and couldn’t reply to a comment so that’s why I’m messing up the thread lol

  30. So sorry to hear about the technical issues lately. I can say it was transparent to me, but that’s probably more my problem (way too much going on) than yours. At least it wasn’t a hacking problem, or something like that! I’m here with you mourning the loss of Summer. Scarlet’s words were so sweet. Moments of affirmation from your kids really are the best, aren’t they? Chin up, though. I bet Scarlet’s going to have a blast in Kindergarten this year!

    1. It was transparent that my blog was broken? I think a lot of people thought it was their own computers, but nope. It was all me!
      And yes, hacking sounds like a nightmare. Always back up your blog!

  31. So glad you got the tech issues dealt with. I find the hosting part of the equation to be the MOST frustrating. I can’t stand ours but we’re too scared to change because you hear so many horror stories out there. Blergh!
    It’s been all ugly at my house lately. With Bobby’s surgery and recovery it’s been a bit bleak…but things are picking up. He’s doing better and is able to be at school. We’re just taking it day by day. I’ve been AWOL on blogging for several weeks, though! –Lisa
    PS. I LOVE LOVE LOVE that first day of school outfit. IT’s ADORABLE!!

    1. It’s true about the horror stories. I had hated mine for about two years. I don’t know why I didn’t break up with them sooner. Switching over the weekend was the most painless experience. I like using a smaller business too because I was never a priority at the other one. Boo on them.
      I’m so sorry about Bobby – hope he’s gaining strength every day. I loved your back to school blogging week!

  32. #10 – YES!! Through all the tears and heartache and letting go, we have to remember that it might be good! Sorry about all your tech issues – those scare me so much!! I am not tech savvy and if that happened to my blog, I would be completely lost and at the complete mercy of an expert! πŸ™‚

    1. Tech issues are very scary. I feel like there’s enough protection out there with backing up our blogs. (remember to back up your blog!)
      And I was in very good hands. All is so much better now.

  33. The fall has always made me nostalgic. Sometimes I am sad, sometimes ecstatic, sometimes living too much in the past and sometimes, just right. . I am trying to be present in this one! But, I have to say that all of this “BACK TO SCHOOL” hype makes me crazy. Don’t listen to those katydids say “School is coming! School is coming!” We don’t have to go back to school!

    1. So true! But why does it feel that way? Sometimes I even want to remember how that felt. To know you still had your whole life ahead of you and a fresh school year to prove yourself.

  34. OMG the good and the bad. Back to school is so so hard. As you know, Tucker is starting kindergarten this year and I’m so so so sad, and also, know that I’m glad because this is his new now. Still though. OMG. I’ve always loved the fall because it seems so full of potential and newness and fresh starts. Now that I’m a parent, it also feels so full of endings and sigh. Here’s to moose. And OMG I’m so sorry that you were dealing with crazy blog hosting issues. Not cool!! I LOVE this blog and hope that it will forever always be here when I click it. <3

    1. It will be here forever! That’s such a nice thought. Do you see me as a 99-year-old woman still blogging?

      I do. By then I’ll probably have a lot to talk about. Or maybe just ice cream.

      New school years are crazy, no matter what your age. When you’re in school they’re crazy. When you’re out of school, you sort of miss when you used to be in school. When you’re a parent, well, crazy crazy.

  35. You have such a great perspective on life. Often times, we get overwhelmed by the bad and forget there’re goods awaiting, too. Thanks so much for sharing!

  36. I’ve been doing such a good job of focusing on the good and pushing away the bad lately. I think my “happy mama” vitamins and supplements are working! I love summer too and I’m always sad to see it go. Fall is so beautiful here in Seattle though – it’s the winters that suck. So glad your blog is back up and running!

    1. I think I need to hear more about those vitamins and supplements. Is that what they’re called?
      I’m trying to imagine a fall in Seattle, and of course I see pumpkin spice lattes. And amazing scenery. It’s very special in New England too, although I’m sure to a very different degree.

      1. Fall in Seattle is awesome and beautiful! New England sounds lovely. My doctor gave me a “vitamin” formula to help with my anxiety. I take these every day, and it really does help.
        Vitamin D – 400IU
        Vitamin B1- 50mg
        Vitamin B2 – 50mg
        Vitamin B6 – 50mg
        Folic Acid – 400 mcg
        Selenium – 200 mcg
        I also take magnesium, because it helps with my migraines.

  37. Wow I’ve never heard of that hosting site. I’m so happy you figured it out! So far so good with Hostgator. I hope it stays that way!! I participated in Tuesday Ten this week too. I shared some good and bad things about back to school, also. I love when our kids say or do things that make us feel so much better. I lost a great friend this week as I’ve been losing people a lot this year so it was emotional and I had some pregnancy twinges and pains and seeing my little guy’s face and him giving me kisses made me feel a lot better along with Harroll coming home and making me dinner. πŸ™‚

    1. Oh dear. You mean a friend passed away? I am so sorry to hear that. It is so amazing what our kids can do to make us feel better, and sometimes they don’t even know it.

  38. As always, I get all of this. The gone weekend. The good and bad of school starting and Fall. I’m more conflicted about it this year too, as much as I’m looking forward to it. Glad you had people to help with your web stuff. I don’t do the technical stuff either which usually makes me feel all panicky when something goes wrong!

    1. You have gone times too? It’s funny how I always think that nobody else could possibly have them. And I can’t imagine you as anything even close to halfway gone.
      Tech problems are panic inducing!

  39. Looks like your comments are back in business! I am going to command/c just in case. Scarlet was so sweet to say she missed you. I went home the weekend before last without my boys. One of the dinners I made the week prior Christopher said it was so good. Then in all the seriousness of a nine year old he asked, “Am I going to be able to survive without you?” I said, “Awww.” As always, loved your pics.

      1. Oh! I am so happy to hear. Since I thrive off of comments, last week was so hard for me because that’s how I love to talk to all of you.

  40. Your site loads way faster now! Your friend did a wonderful job. Scarlet is so sweet. Your family needs you more than you think! I think the switch back to school is going to be pretty fantastic. I know, in my case, I like to have that time away from my kids so I can actually miss them. It’s so great to pick him up from school in the afternoon and hear all about his day! I love to see how independent they become and they really are so much fun. I know this fall transition is going to be hard but it really is going to be so great!!

    1. Your positive attitude really helps me very much. And thank you about the site loading faster. I had only talked to him once during a video chat, and he was one of the first people I thought of when everything went wrong. It’s one of the best decisions I could’ve made.

  41. I am in LOVE with that picture of the red shoes! Your kids are so cute and you capture them wonderfully. Scarlet is a little sweetie to say that. πŸ™‚ I think we are a lot alike looking forward to the changes new things bring but dreading them at the same time. I also hate the end of summer.

    1. Thank you! It is my Facebook profile picture for as long as I can remember. There’s just something about her red glitter shoes swinging in the breeze. I really do love fall, but I have very little love for winter. Not even Christmas makes me come out of it.

  42. I hate the end of summer too. It’s my favorite season and it always makes me sad to see it go… however there’s Halloween and Christmas so that’s a plus even if I dislike winter. Those shoes are so cute! And every new school year it feels like I am going back too… it’s so bad that I actually wrap my son’s books and write the name on the stickers… I think I have to stop that though…

    1. Ha!! When we were kids, we had to cover our books in brown paper bags and write our names on them. But also what books they were in case we would forget.
      I love fall and I love Halloween. I even kinda love Thanksgiving. I love Christmas too. If I were to choose it to be Christmas all year or July all year, I would choose July.

  43. That is a wonderful post, Tamara! I can find the good and bad in back to school as well. For me because I have five kids and four are in school, the good outweighs the bad. There is back to school shopping which is good because it is so much fun to get new things, and bad, because with four kids it is pretty expensive. The quiet day time hours are good because I am able to de-stress an enjoy myself. But the quiet home is not as exciting as the noisy one that I am used to.

    The best part for me about the kids going back to school is that I now have more time to do the things that I enjoy, like blogging. I hope Scarlet loves Kindergarten and has a fun and fulfilling school year and you are able to find more time for your business.

    Have a terrific day!

    1. Thank you so much! And I look forward to more blogging from you. I do look forward to more time to edit photos and get new clients, and also to blog. I have actually dropped the ball a bit over the summer and I’m not the comment queen that I used to be.
      And growing up as one of five, I know so much about the expenses.

  44. YAY for new blog!! And how something really good came from something quite horrifying, I’m sure! Our blogs are our babies- when they are sick we are sick. I love that yours will be moving faster too, with all your photos and all that you fill it with- that will be such a great benefit.

    I love your list. Especially the last one. Yes that.

    “The good. It may even be wonderful.”

    1. Hey, it just may be wonderful. Like switching my blog domain and hosting. And it is so much faster now! That is one of the talents of this company iHelpers.

  45. Your tech guy did a great job. It does move a lot faster. Anyway I sometimes feel the way you do and think that my kids would be better off without me in the picture but when Madison hugs me and say “I Love You Mommy”, or when I walk in the door from a long day at work, she runs to me and say “Mommy You’re Home” and gives me a hug, those are the days that I live for. I love how you are so honest with your posts but I know you can do anything you put your mind to.

    1. I think I believe in myself a little better every time you believe in me. And my tech guy might be my favorite person in the world, but don’t tell anyone else.

  46. I love, love, LOVE this post, Tamara! Is there anything better than hear your kids say they missed you?! That makes all your hard work worth it and bring everything into perspective.

    1. So true! Today, Scarlet was at Six Flags for the entire day and she was very huggy when she got home. And full of stories. It was nice that she missed me.

  47. *sigh* I have a thought but I can’t share it here, lol. It may be mean spirited – boo πŸ™ The Good: It’s a 3-day weekend, the bad: I’ll still have to get through the week first. You know those times when EVERYONE and their momma wants to test your patience? And you feel like you’re oging to have a stroke? That’s been me for 3 weeks now! Sometimes you just have to breath and take a step back – You have a lot of good and that trumps all the bad – you are a blessed lady. πŸ™‚ Your kids will miss you too while at school but doesn’t it make seeing them that much more glorious? Sometimes we need to miss people. Lol. Happy Tuesday love! -Iva

    1. Well now I need to hear your thought! Text it?
      I have a three day weekend, but it’s completely booked for the grandparents. I guess this means I could potentially run away and there’d be plenty of people to watch my kids, though.
      Many more goods than bads – you’re right.

  48. glad your up and running again πŸ™‚

    my son started college last week & my daughter starts 9th grade in a week.

    life goes on…

    Hope she has a great first day of kindergarten πŸ™‚

  49. Hey at least you didn’t have the “ugly” things on your list. (you know, the good, the bad and the ugly?) Trying to make a joke here.. I know, it’s kind of a groaner… πŸ˜‰

    Your Scarlet is so sweet. I hope the bad gets better. xo

  50. We all need those invisible weekends…lazy days in bed to clear our heads. Lucky you to have a chill in the air…send it down here! Good luck with school – and if you are stir crazy leave the house!

    1. Leave the house. That is probably the best advice. Otherwise I might find myself watching the clock and waiting for the time to pick them up. That happened when preschool started. And the chill in the air is mostly gone. Actually having nearly 90Β° which barely happened at all this summer.

  51. While I cannot relate to the back-to-school issues, I certainly relate to not liking the end of summer, kind of liking fall, but definitely not looking forward to another cold and long winter. And the tech problems, don’t we all have those at some point and hate them? I changed just over a year ago from my German host to an American one, but honestly, I am not happy with them and have been toying with the idea of hiring a professional. I like tinkering with my layout, but speed is something you cannot compromise on these days. Maybe I’ll check out your helpers one of these days.
    Enjoy the next warm days. It is hot here in NJ πŸ™‚

    1. Definitely check out iHelpers on my link above. They are great with the speed, and they know how to look for problems you would never know you had but you are so glad they are gone. Plus just the reliable service is a real refreshing change. The chill in the air is gone up here too!

  52. I outsource a lot of things that I’m not good at. Otherwise I will try to figure it out and I will spend so much time doing that (because I have to master it) and really, I don’t need to be a master of everything!

    I’m having a hard time with late August. I’ve been feeling super ungrounded lately and it’s really unsettling. It’s interesting because I have the same feeling about feeling invisible and that my family would be fine without me if I disappeared. But then my boys come and say something sweet and make me feel loved. Until reading your words, I hadn’t put it together with losing my father at an early age. That puts an interesting perspective on things. huh.

    1. It is such a strange perspective too. I know that Allie had a different experience but maybe that’s just the age that I was when it happened, I sort of felt like life is fragile at an early age, but it was somehow my fault.
      I remember the first time I outsourced help for photography. I felt like I had I had arrived. It was very specific Photoshop work that somebody could do very fast and very efficiently.

  53. I love number 10!!!! That’s what I try to tell myself all the time. And I’m sorry about your blog, some of my other favorite bloggers with self-hosted blogs were also not coming up for me. I would get redirected to a weird yahoo page that said there was an internal error. But you’re all back now so woohoo!!

    1. There was a pretty major issue with one of the more common hosting companies. I had been wanting to break up with them for a very long time, so this was my trigger to finally do that!

  54. It’s disconcerting when our web spaces don’t work. It’s like a broken house! Anyway, I like this good/bad format because it’s a healthy way to think.There’s something for natural about thinking this way. (i.e. A time to be born, a time to die; a time to plant, a time to . . . . )

    1. And now you got that wonderful song in my head! I really did like thinking about both. It was a writing prompt but I liked that we could take what we wanted from it. And having a broken website was one of the more stressful experiences I’ve had.

  55. So glad to hear all of your stuff got resolved. Yes, techie people are critical… I’ve told myself I can’t do everything. Fixing something broken on my website is definitely something I will dole out!

    Thanks for sharing your good and bads. I absolutely LOVE that picture of the moose. AWESOME!

    Wishing you a lovely day.

    1. That was one of my favorite moose of all time! I got a little close to him, though, and some locals told me to watch out better.
      And broken website problems are very heartbreaking.

        1. Well feel free to email me about my long saga but it was about 48 hours for me too. It would come and it would go and comments would timeout. In the long run, CommentLuv was not the problem but it didn’t help either.
          The problem was hosting. I had used one of the bigger names that have a lot of outages. When I switched hosting, the problems ended immediately. Also I’ve been wanting to break up with them for a long time. I’m really happy with my site right now. I have what I believe is the most talented team on it possible.

  56. I’m sure I’m not the first to write this, but I have the Facts of Life song running through my head now! There are worse earworms! I’m so glad your comments are fixed, although I would happily leave two comment again. πŸ˜‰

  57. 1. For me the end of summer becomes sad when I see that there is only one more game I could go to in the middle of the day for the local minor-league team. And when I know the Rockies are way out of the playoff chase, but that their calendar is coming to a close soon, too. They break my heart every summer, but they’re my Rockies.

    2. Did you see the news story this week of the moose who stood in a cafeteria door and refused to budge for hours? I’m convinced he was waiting for you and your camera.

    3. It looks like things are in place for an incredible new chapter.

    1. I did not see the new story but now I want to see it. He might’ve been waiting for me, but most likely, he was waiting for mashed potatoes with butter and gravy.

      I am very ready for a new chapter.

  58. This is a timely post. I just listened to Glennon Melton who talked about embracing rock-bottom moments and learning that is where you evolve. When you are in those moments, it is so hard to remember that advice. I think the exercise of alternating the good between the bad is a cathartic way to process what is happening.

  59. Always 2 sides to every coin in life, for sure. It’s always good when you’re able to see both and not just one side. Good luck transitioning into fall and all that comes with it. Our son will start 1/2 day prek, so that’s an adjustment to our schedules come fall.

    1. When Scarlet started half-day preschool, I had a newborn. A lot of it is a blur. It wasn’t traumatic., I was also so recently strengthened by his birth. And then the second year was like old hat. This is definitely something new

  60. Blog and site issues make me crazy!!! So I feel your pain πŸ™‚ The good: can’t wait to see where your business goes in this next chapter! πŸ™‚

    1. Thank you! I just don’t want to find myself with nothing to do during the hours she’s at school. I guess it’s really more of a concern three years from now when the baby goes to kindergarten! I can’t even think about it.

  61. 1. Big hugs
    2. Bigger hugs
    3. Biggest hugs.
    It’s hard to be strong, yet slightly fragile. You’re such a loving person, that’s why things like time, change, and growth effect you. I think, I’m speaking from experience. Sometimes, I read your blog and get this feeling of “I’m not the only one”– sometimes that’s how it feels like I’m just an emotional speck. I believe we LOVE hard.

    So, my blog has been giving me comment issues too, annnnnd per your suggestion I got the WP app, but I’m not sure that’s working either πŸ™
    P.S. You’re always needed.


    1. Ok. Best comment ever!! Big, bigger and biggest hugs back to you. Sometimes the overwhelming support here makes me feel like we are all in this together. And sometimes it makes me feel like I’m just a speck too.
      I feel way too much, in my opinion. I suspect the alternative might be easier, but probably isn’t possible for me, or even just for me. It’s not for me.

  62. Oh, wow.. I can so relate to this. I feel as though my emotions get a bit topsy turvy this time of year, too. This in particular really speaks to me: “And the way it can still make you feel like YOU’RE the one going back to school, even though you’re not.” I think that’s partially why I get so anxious come fall, too. Sometimes we just have to remember to take deep breaths. And soak in each moment. I’m so glad your daughter reminded you of why you are an awesome momma just the way you are and to tell you how much your presence was missed. So incredibly sweet πŸ™‚ Big *HUGS* to you, mommabear. You are doing just fine.

    1. It is funny that this time of year can make us forget that we know how to breathe so well. It is a weird year because back to school really does affect me right now, for the first time since I had to go back to school. Although preschool was definitely a thing, this seems a lot bigger.

  63. Broken blogs…ugh. I’ve had a few of my own issues as well. It’s always stressful. Janine has helped me with some of my issues too…she is the best! We’ve had a tough summer as far as bad goes, but we’ve had some good too. Back to school has given us a little normalcy. But my kids are older…I felt the same way as you when they were younger. I have to tell you, one of the good things was I saw a moose in Alaska! And I got a picture. He was running down the road…they’re fast!

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