They Say in Heaven, Love Comes First

heaven in Cape Cod

We came, we saw, we conquered Cape Cod, and boy oh boy, you are not only going to get one photo and one story today.

Maybe just one story. There was a strange sense of urgency with our Cape trip this year – and I’m sure I’m not the only one who felt it was different. I needed a vacation more than ever, and while a beach trip with kids is more of that – a trip – than a vacation, I definitely could have used seven more days in Truro. I’m super terrible at letting go. Apparently I do it every year when we go to Florida for a week, with some tweaking and scheduling and half-working, and I almost took nine days off when we went to Alaska (really, almost) but I’m not sure it’s in the cards. I have major FOMO (fear of missing out) with work stuff. And the influencer landscape is changing, but I’m changing with it. And the Cape Cod landscape is changing too.

I’d like to think I’m changing with that too. All you can do is try. Try and try again.

Cape Cod

It was our first year with two dogs and we didn’t know until the last minute that we were bringing both. With my in-laws’ new house in Florida, and their house in Connecticut, I honestly didn’t/don’t know the fate of the Cape Cod house. I hope it’s always ours, or more likely – theirs. It’s not up to me, but boy, do I want this for them. More than I want most things.

Cape Cod

So there was that strange sense of urgency, and there was a weight I don’t always have. A heaviness. It wasn’t a hopeless heaviness, though, like a dark and suffocating presence. It was more of an irritating heft on my chest and around my throat – telling me that I was ok and still had all that good stuff inside of me – but sometimes the demons come out before dark.

I believe in a future filled with light and airy and cotton candy things – at least most of the time. It’s so hard to figure out right this second how to get there. Work is heavy and cumbersome and strange, at times, and so is my indecision about the direction I want this family to go in. I think that’s ok because I’m figuring it out now, and like they said, love comes first.

We’ve got a lot of that. That’s the beginning and the end, and it all blurs together, quite like the sea.

Cape Cod

We came back to the whirlwind of my birthday and house guests so I’m sneaking this post fairly late at night. I haven’t had the chance to upload my camera photos yet, and quite frankly, I still have ones to upload from last year and two years ago because I’m completely off my rocker with that. These are all my phone photos to share. My friend asked me why my phone photos don’t look like hers, and of course the #1 answer is that I study photography. This one (below) is edited for fun.

He was really looking out the window to watch Cassidy pump gas in a dingy gas station but I liked this better:

As for the rest of them, I hold my hands steady, use AE lock, and edit them in better apps than the ones in the iPhone. I love Snapseed, LensLight, and Bokeh Lens. All cost only a few dollars at most, and give photos more clarity and smoothness.

And you can reset horizon lines. All of it takes under a minute! (except for the gas station one..)

Cape Cod

Cape Cod

Cape Cod

This is me linking up, as one of my favorite things to do, with Finish The Sentence Friday. This week’s topic is Photo Share Friday And there’s still time to write yours. Come link up with your spin: HERE. What’s your photo? What’s its story?

Have you been to a beach lately?

When the Camera Met Astro

There’s always that first time a new loved one meets my camera.

Or is it really my camera meeting them? I always seem to capture the moments exactly as they fall into place, sort of the way it always works out. Instinct. Technique. More of one than the other. Self-doubt. Pure emotion. I can’t say that I’ve been really up on myself with photography or writing lately. Sometimes it’s hard for me and sometimes it isn’t. It’s just that there’s so much perspective and emotion crammed into blog posts and photographs, no matter how wide the bandwidth and how large the format. I only took phone photos the day we got Astro because I was focused on keeping the surprise under wraps and holding a wiggly puppy for a three hour car ride. Not that it wasn’t pure bliss. I shouldn’t have been worried.

We spent a few days, and then weeks, getting to know each other. He has started puppy class and he’s tried to chew our entire house. We’ve had some user-error-induced house breaking accidents, but we’re learning the way and so is he. He brightens my day. I’ve been so tired since we got him – just flat-out exhausted at the end of the day. I was already so bad at balancing parenting and personal/social life and work and writing/photography for fun. Then you throw a puppy into the mix and the fact that he has to be watched or crated when I’m working. Yet, sometimes he’s just the brightest star in my sky.

And the best part of my day. Pure unconditional affection. He doesn’t cower like Athena, act like too much of a cat like Junie (the cat), break my heart like humans, and cause Salmonella like the chickens. I can just scoop him up, day after day, moment after moment – sometimes letting tears drip down his fur. He’s perfect and new. And he smells good. And he’s fluffy – although changing color every day. Not to mention, will we EVER know what kind of dog he is? Maybe. Probably not.

So that’s my story for you, and it’s one of love and newness and how the emotions spill out into words and then spill out into photos and somehow with spoken words and written words and photographs, other people get a bit of an idea of it all.

So this is my photo story for you:

This is me linking up, as one of my favorite things to do, with Finish The Sentence Friday. This week’s topic is Photo Share Friday And there’s still time to write yours. Come link up with your spin: HERE. What’s your photo? What’s its story?

He’s pretty irresistible, isn’t he?