10 Things I Can’t or Won’t Ever Do Again (I Hope!)

10 things I’ve done that I can’t/won’t do again. And there's still time to write yours. Come link up with your spin of the 10 things you can't or won't do!

My mental health is a funny, funny thing.

Most things in life are two steps forward and one step back. Yet, sometimes you find yourself in dark and low places that you never thought you’d be in again. You said you’d never be in them again! And you might have even meant it. That doesn’t mean the dark covers don’t rise up again over your face, gently suffocating you and pulling you down. That said, once you find the light, I believe you find it even faster and brighter and better the next time around. So what I’m saying is – it’s ok to find yourself in places you swore you’d never be again. Dark places. Physical places. Mental spaces. Unsafe places & spaces.

Whatever it is, we all take steps we didn’t mean to take. We all see darkness and we see light.

Now today’s Finish the Sentence Friday prompt about listing 10 things we’ve done and can’t or won’t do again? It’s freaking fascinating. It took me a week to even come up with one, and then they all flowed out like lava. The thing is, we can’t control everything or even a good percentage of things, but we can control the things we’ve done that we can’t or won’t do again. I mean, at least most of them, right? So I made my list and I had to make sure it resonated through all the bones.

It’s not always pretty but it’s all my own.

10 Things I Can’t or Won’t Ever Do Again:

1 – Eat Thai food. Why on earth am I starting with that one? It’s so unimportant in the grand scheme of the world but I got sick from it THREE times and didn’t learn the FIRST or SECOND times. Now I know! Three different restaurants too.

2 – Hurt someone’s feelings on purpose. As a kid with four siblings and my own trauma and feelings of worthlessness, there were times in which I was ok with teasing other people. It sickens me now, and I got plenty teased myself. It feels AWFUL.

3 – Go on a boat ride with someone who gets seasick easily. Just no! It’s ok if they wear the motion sickness patch, though.

4 – Live in New Jersey. Been there, done that.

5 – Live in a city. I did that once or twice but at this point, I think I might eventually become a hermit in Nowhere, Alaska who keeps a shotgun on the porch and throws rotten eggs at tourists and trespassers. Be honest – can you see me like that?

6 – Take on a work assignment that makes me feel yucky, no matter what it pays. Same with buying social followers. I bought Twitter followers once because I thought that was an ok thing to do, but they drained out within days. Embarrassing.

7 – Turn down a chance to snuggle with my kids whey they initiate it, and especially if I have nothing else going on! And same with Cassidy, with hugs and kisses too, although sometimes anxiety is an issue. They can understand that, though.

8 – Share or laugh or make jokes about women or men or races or sexual orientation or ANYTHING of the sort.

9 – Read “Where the Red Fern Grows” or “Babysitters Club 11: Kristy and the Snobs.” Never. Ever. Again.

10 – Fall in love. It’s not that I won’t, and it’s probably not that I can’t, but it took so long to get here, didn’t it? I’m staying.

Then I have honorable mentions and bonus nods to: Getting two cats at once, watching The Sixth Sense, and eating veal!

This is me linking up, as one of my favorite things to do, with Finish The Sentence Friday. This week’s topic is “10 things I’ve done that I can’t/won’t do again.” And there’s still time to write yours. Come link up with your spin: HERE.

What would you say?

10 Things I’ve Learned From You, Yes, You.

I thought I’d have more time to write this, but life had other (and better) plans.

And that’s ok because it shouldn’t take long anyway. I’m pretty much pretending it’s a 5 minute free-writing session because all of this stuff is hot to the touch, and fresh off the tongue. What have I learned from you? A ton. And who are you? You, specifically, are my fellow FTSF bloggers. Sometimes, maybe, you’re the only ones reading these Friday posts. Or maybe you’re not the only ones but there’s nothing lurker about you. You are flesh and blood and bone and typing and wisdom.

I see two of you right here (below). Also, I don’t look like this in real life. My face is less smushed:

Tonight, tonight, tonight, I spent time with a high school friend. You see I used to be fearless, in other ways. I fight fears and phobias nearly daily, but I used to drive from city to city at every hour of the night. I’d do anything to be by your side. There was a time, I pumped enough milk to leave Scarlet with Cassidy for the day, and drove from busy city to busy city, through busy city, just to get to my friend Vik for his mom’s funeral. These days I’m sometimes nervous to drive from one country town to another. What ifs, ands, and buts. I don’t want to be stopped anymore. I wasn’t at all stopped tonight.

Just to spend 7 hours with an old friend. We took Vik to dinner and ice cream and then talked on the couches, so comfortably and like no time had passed, for like.. four hours. Magic. Sometimes, often, it works. And other times, I’m watching clocks and fading away and letting anxiety strip me of that bold color – that drive – the listening – these love adventures. I got some back. And I don’t want to give it up again. I want to remember the opening of hearts and thoughts.

No watched clocks. Just free.

Without further ado, here are 10 things I’ve learned about blogging from other FTSF bloggers:

I’m sort of editing it to say 10 things I’ve learned (in general) from other FTSF bloggers:

1 – That waiting until the last minute really works when your heart and talent are there. Kristi used to only write her posts last minute, and still might, and each one is poetic gorgeousness. She spins them from gold like Rumpelstiltskin.

2 – From Kenya I learned a whole fresh perspective from someone living such a different life from me, in such a different place, with such different experiences, and yet I have always felt like we often feel/think/do the same things.

3 – I’ve learned that online friendships are something fierce and real, and sometimes don’t just stay online.

4 – I have learned what my life could be like 10 years from now, and how great that might be.

5 – I’ve learned that different viewpoints can still lead to respect and heart.

6 – And I have learned about kindness and thoughtful comments on blog posts, like you know they read every single word.

7 – I have learned the importance of nostalgia and sharing photos and stories forever.

8 – I’ve read some special needs mama perspectives that are achingly and crushingly beautiful.

9 – Mostly I’ve learned just how much I believe I’ll never stop blogging, as I haven’t paused in over 8 years. I have hesitated, though. Blogging isn’t always writing in the way I want to write. It rarely is. Yet we all find our ways back here – thinking of ways to write to and about each other – and having no trouble doing so. Much love to you, yes, you.

10 – And I’ve learned that I still long for that simpler time when it was just words and us.

*Bonus: I have learned about primer mascara (the white tube) and baby foot peels.

This is me linking up, as one of my favorite things to do, with Finish The Sentence Friday. This week’s topic is “10 things I’ve learned about blogging from other FTSF bloggers.” And there’s still time to write yours. Come link up with your spin: HERE.

What would you say?