There’s Still Time for a Summer of Love

This is me linking up, as one of my favorite things to do, with Finish The Sentence Friday. This week's topic is: It was the summer of...

If there’s one thing I know, it’s that summer’s magic is real – enticing, reaching, and drawing you in its embrace.

Sometimes, I’m the type to sit and wait for something amazing to happen. You see, I’m a lucky person and I’m able to skate by on luck and charm and brief powers of inspiration. It doesn’t last, though. It wears out – like a light – and then I’m left shivering in the dark. Every time I step out into the light, I believe I surround myself with more warmth and stamina – enough to keep me surrounded when the light goes again. My light. Summer’s light. It all comes and goes – and I’d like to believe we’re all building our own light boxes and filling them with objects and subjects. Luck and time run out so fast..

..but summer is magic, and maybe, so am I.

If I measured out my life moments, both good and bad in terms of seasons, some of the biggest moments would fall into the summer category – the sudden death of my father, meeting my husband at JFK Airport, and the birth of my firstborn, Scarlet. The summer of 2018 is supposed to be a magical summer like many magical summers. The thing is, it’s not going to happen if I sit back and wait for it. It’s spurts and bursts of inspiration, to eventually settle into a hopefully long-lasting momentum. That starts with me. I have to take that first step and reach my hand up and out to be pulled into the light.

  • This is the summer I was supposed to have that buff bikini body. Now I know I’m naturally slim, but that doesn’t mean that tone is my friend. You know what is my friend? Ice cream and mashed potatoes. So the buff summer body may never happen, unless I really want it to, but it’s all good because I have a body and it’s summer. Voila – summer body! And this body is strong and proportionate and gives me way little in the ways of aches and pains, and in the grand scheme of things I know that one day I’ll look back on photos of my 30-something body and have to adjust my glasses. I’ll say to myself:

“What a hot body you once had!” Now pass the mashed potatoes and cake.

  • This is the summer my Twitter account was hacked, and in all of that panic and rebuilding, I learned how awesome it is to be 100% me and to have real followers who like my late night ice cream eating/Hallmark movie watching tweets.

  • This is the summer I was supposed to get a zillion page views, but it’s summer, and not everyone wants to read my dribble. So this is the summer I realized it’s all ok. If you build it, they will come. So build it strong, and they will stay.

  • This is the summer I was supposed to believe in myself, but I’ve learned that maybe we all are just halfway portraits of self-belief. Other people have no trouble telling you what they can do. Well this is the summer I’ve learned to tell you what I can do. I can take photos of your child and rebuild smashed Twitter accounts and write with my heart and make fun and quirky recipes and rebuild from smashed lenses and smashed hearts. There are many things I can do, to do for you!

  • This is the summer I was supposed to get the guts to rent a cabin alone or not alone in the middle of nowhere, Maine with waist-high wading boots and a rented or bought zoom lens. It hasn’t happened and still could, but instead I’ll count the victories that are either booked or done. Cape Cod. Photographing my dad’s 50th reunion. Starting the process of renewing my passport. Renewing my driver’s license without swearing in the RMV. Booking a wedding, and many portraits.

Magical baby steps.

  • This is the summer I was supposed to find work/life balance, but instead I worried too much about Twitter accounts and page views and slept through so many cuddle opportunities with the kids and the dog. Yet, the kids were happy. Our jobs have allowed us to send them to some pretty awesome camps. They are memorable, loved and engaging. Sometimes it feels like all I do is work and hide, rinse, repeat, but every foray into the world is only broadening my own little world.

It’s not failures or missed opportunities. Not yet, oh no. It’s missed steps and dissed steps and ebbs and flows and victories and setbacks. It’s missteps and mistrusts and rebuilds and re-trusts, all leading to the same place – where I want to be.

Where I want to be.

This is me linking up, as one of my favorite things to do, with Finish The Sentence Friday. This week's topic is: It was the summer of...

This is me linking up, as one of my favorite things to do, with Finish The Sentence Friday. This week’s topic is “It was the summer of…” And there’s still time to write yours. Come link up with your spin: HERE.

There’s still time for a summer of love.

They Say in Heaven, Love Comes First

heaven in Cape Cod

We came, we saw, we conquered Cape Cod, and boy oh boy, you are not only going to get one photo and one story today.

Maybe just one story. There was a strange sense of urgency with our Cape trip this year – and I’m sure I’m not the only one who felt it was different. I needed a vacation more than ever, and while a beach trip with kids is more of that – a trip – than a vacation, I definitely could have used seven more days in Truro. I’m super terrible at letting go. Apparently I do it every year when we go to Florida for a week, with some tweaking and scheduling and half-working, and I almost took nine days off when we went to Alaska (really, almost) but I’m not sure it’s in the cards. I have major FOMO (fear of missing out) with work stuff. And the influencer landscape is changing, but I’m changing with it. And the Cape Cod landscape is changing too.

I’d like to think I’m changing with that too. All you can do is try. Try and try again.

Cape Cod

It was our first year with two dogs and we didn’t know until the last minute that we were bringing both. With my in-laws’ new house in Florida, and their house in Connecticut, I honestly didn’t/don’t know the fate of the Cape Cod house. I hope it’s always ours, or more likely – theirs. It’s not up to me, but boy, do I want this for them. More than I want most things.

Cape Cod

So there was that strange sense of urgency, and there was a weight I don’t always have. A heaviness. It wasn’t a hopeless heaviness, though, like a dark and suffocating presence. It was more of an irritating heft on my chest and around my throat – telling me that I was ok and still had all that good stuff inside of me – but sometimes the demons come out before dark.

I believe in a future filled with light and airy and cotton candy things – at least most of the time. It’s so hard to figure out right this second how to get there. Work is heavy and cumbersome and strange, at times, and so is my indecision about the direction I want this family to go in. I think that’s ok because I’m figuring it out now, and like they said, love comes first.

We’ve got a lot of that. That’s the beginning and the end, and it all blurs together, quite like the sea.

Cape Cod

We came back to the whirlwind of my birthday and house guests so I’m sneaking this post fairly late at night. I haven’t had the chance to upload my camera photos yet, and quite frankly, I still have ones to upload from last year and two years ago because I’m completely off my rocker with that. These are all my phone photos to share. My friend asked me why my phone photos don’t look like hers, and of course the #1 answer is that I study photography. This one (below) is edited for fun.

He was really looking out the window to watch Cassidy pump gas in a dingy gas station but I liked this better:

As for the rest of them, I hold my hands steady, use AE lock, and edit them in better apps than the ones in the iPhone. I love Snapseed, LensLight, and Bokeh Lens. All cost only a few dollars at most, and give photos more clarity and smoothness.

And you can reset horizon lines. All of it takes under a minute! (except for the gas station one..)

Cape Cod

Cape Cod

Cape Cod

This is me linking up, as one of my favorite things to do, with Finish The Sentence Friday. This week’s topic is Photo Share Friday And there’s still time to write yours. Come link up with your spin: HERE. What’s your photo? What’s its story?

Have you been to a beach lately?