Of Sound Mind and Body

sound mind

When it comes to this body, it proves me wrong every time, with surpasses and overpasses. Underpasses and near misses.

Another flu, another cold, another stomach virus, and I wake up feeling physically perfect. Emotionally and mentally? I’m a hothouse of crossed and twisted wires – beeping and going off at all different points of my body. “Warning. Warning.”

No broken bones and no strains or sprains or tears or pulls. In fact, I’ve never even been to an emergency room or hospital, other than to give birth twice. No broken bones and no strains or sprains or tears or pulls, but I did walk into Urgent Care when Scarlet was eight-months-old to get two measly stitches on my ring finger above the ring. I lost a battle with an avocado. Otherwise, I’m not squeamish or prone to motion sickness. I can be dehydrated for days without symptoms.

(Don’t ask me why I know that)

sound mind

Sometimes, often. Nothing bothers this body. I know this body.

When it comes to this body, the strength – the seemingly unbeatable strength – is only matched and met by one thing. The mind. The heart. And the dark and sinister places that have taken root and spread. Silent for years, or wrapping around and around and cutting off air supply and heart supply and and head supply. I can drink pineapple juice that expired eight years ago (it was an accident on Christmas Eve), and barely blink, but don’t ask me to let go of my kids at kindergarten drop-off – or ever, really – because I will drop to my knees. I will fall to my knees. This body can’t save me now. It doesn’t know how.

The signals and the wires have all gotten crossed again, wrapping and trapping and choking.

When it comes to this body, I know this body, and nothing you say is truer than my truth. I know that no dairy, gluten, sugar, fat can give even one tiny symptom, the way an emotional trigger can, but when those things all get together, it’s not pleasant. I know two sips into a cup of coffee when it’s not decaf, because it sets a course through my body quite like stress. And I know that a cup of coffee a day – the way I like it – makes me gain weight, but two bowls of ice cream a day don’t. And I also know not to eat two bowls of ice cream a day. I know that stress raises blood sugar and that pizza doesn’t.

When it comes to this body, I know I can still be surprised.

sound mind

By good cholesterol and low blood pressure. By another flu and cold and stomach virus passing me by, even after sharing drinks and sharing kisses and sharing being alive. And by being alive well past the last age my father ever got to be, when I thought it was written in stone in my body, the way it was in his. Inscribed. Signed, sealed, delivered. When it comes to this body, I’ll believe you when you tell me nothing is wrong. I can feel it in courses and rushes. Light and love and air and health. That doesn’t mean that I don’t have to take the time to rewrite the history I thought was served and certain.

When it comes to this body, I’m more wild and more adaptable and more hearty than you’ll ever know. Until I know it.

This is me linking up, as one of my favorite things to do, with Finish The Sentence Friday. This week’s topic is “When it comes to this body…” (5 minute freewriting) And there’s still time to write yours. Come link up with your spin: HERE.

What would you say?

About Tamara

Tamara is a professional photographer, a mama of two, a Lifestyle Blogger/Social Media Influencer/Brand Ambassador, and a nearly professional cookie taster. She has been known to be all four of those things at all hours of the day and night. She is a very proud contributor to the book, The Mother Of All Meltdowns, the Stigma Fighters Anthology (volume 1), and The HerStories Project: So Glad They Told Me. She is also a proud Community Lead and a regular contributor to the SoFab Food blog, and the Target Made Me Do It blog. After two cross country moves, due to her intense Bi-Coastal Disorder, she lives with her husband, daughter, son, dog, cat, and 11 chickens in glorious western Massachusetts.


Of Sound Mind and Body — 18 Comments

  1. Firstly I love the pictures and especially the close up with the grass in the air. Awesome capture! You wrote beautifully and poetically and it felt like a breath of fresh air from the pictures. Oddly this post made me breathe. Like aaaah.

  2. well, if we’re simply talking about our physical beings… that easy. (lol… those dark tendrils, on the other hand….) to quote a Monty Python clip I re999watched the other day, “Run away!! Run away.”

    ‘cellent pitchas, too!

  3. Gorgeous words and photos. I know what you mean about the stress and the dark thoughts that wrap their way around and in…I love the photos of Scarlet with the grass. The flu passed me by too in spite of shared space and shared food at a carnival at school. *knocks on wood*

  4. Hi Tamara! Hi Supergirl Scarlet! πŸ˜„πŸ’— When it comes to this fragile little body I know that I have to accept a number of physical limitations, and many times over the years I haven’t been doing this very well. I’m trying to do a better job at accepting and dealing with this. It has been an ongoing work in progress as I try to press on. Your photos are as lovely as ever Tamara! Scarlet, your sweet smile makes the sun shine even brighter, and you capture that sweetness with every one of Scarlet’s sunny smile pictures Tamara! #SunnySmileScarlet

  5. That is a lot of years for pineapple juice. I’m thinking it might have tasted a bit tinny by then. (I must have a reason for knowing this.) πŸ™‚
    You have such a beautiful SuperGirl model!
    Emotional triggers lay the foundation of so many physical symptoms.
    Living past the age a parent who passed away can make your body feel like it is living on borrowed time, but you never know what ancestry you may have that far outlived your parent. You may have those kind of genes and have many years left before your lot is up.
    Great post.

  6. Your beautiful girl made me happy. What would I say? Hmm, how about that no amount of health you personally posess will ever feel good when one of your children is chronically sick with no answers in sight. That is not very happy, so how about we end with thoughts of supergirls twirling in straw πŸ™‚

  7. I lose battles with avocados all the time! I’ve never had a broken bone either but I was on bed rest for over 30 days with a ruptured cyst, thank God I wasn’t hospitalized. I get dehydrated easily, I can’t believe you don’t get symptoms for days. I’m super cautions about what I put into my body. This was a fun freewrite. πŸ™‚

  8. Our bodies are amazing. love that yours is so strong for you, Tamara! Love the images that go along with this free write. Scarlet sure is growing!! My body isn’t quite as indestructible as it once was. When it comes to this body, I know I must be kind. Loved this post! Hope you’re having a wonderful weekend <3

  9. I’ve often wondered how it must feel to have so much natural heartiness! As I write this, I am recovering from a dump truck full of viral and bacterial and fungal stresses that ripped through my home and finger-painted on me on their way out, and I know I’ll get the next batch too. It sounds like you appreciate your health and know your emotional limits even if you can’t ignore them. You just sound so ALIVE here!

  10. You sound so healthy! I’m not sick often, but when I am, ugh. It’s not fun. I only fractured my arm so far! These are such precious photos.

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