Some Things You Just Know.

Before I proceed, and I will be doing this a lot, remember to follow this here new blog at BlogLovin. There’s also a link in the sidebar. This move to self-hosted WordPress was a long time coming, but Janine from Confessions of a Mommyholic and J9 Designs made it fairly painless and quick for me. I was scared for a long time, and I didn’t need to be. It all turned out just fine.

And so..

When I was a baby, my mom kept a baby journal. It would be rude of me to lie and say I ever cracked it open until Des came around. Scarlet? She was easier. She was more general. Everything did and does come easily to her. Des is almost her mirror image in so many amazing (mellow and happy) ways, but he throws me for a loop in other ways. He has more fears than she had.

He’s also more content to stay in one place..

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..or at least he used to be. Things have gotten more hectic at home since he discovered climbing. And falling.

Before that, I admit I’d worry about him every now and then. Not in my heart but when I’d see kids his age running around. He hits his milestones and he progresses, but some of my reassurance comes from reading about how I was at his age. On my mom’s side of the family, late walking is four generations deep, that we know about. It hit my Nana, my mom, me and now Des.

These are things I know. These are things I know are ok. These are things I know are ok that I still get caught up in sometimes.

Just because. I’m so good at that.

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I don’t always speak these things aloud. They are a whisper in Cassidy’s ear at night. They are a pause when someone asks, “Does he walk yet?” It takes all I can not to scream, “He’s freakin’ happy! He’s not tearing my house apart! I walked at 18 months and my mom at 23 months! Why would I want him to grow up faster than he does when one day I’ll be crying that he’s grown up and gone? This I know. I will one day be crying that he has grown up so fast. Sobbing. So it’s ok that he’s been content to crawl. That he’s freakin’ brilliant. That he hits his milestones and doesn’t worry his doctor and doesn’t worry his father and he progresses steadily, and besides, he has the hair of a two-year-old and good hair comes before walking, I say. And he says great words. And he reasons through facial expressions and touch and even manipulation, knowing that a lower lip pout will get him anything. He can sing, on key, and he calls milk “mick.” He claps his hands and dances and face plants on command.”

I don’t say all of that. I just answer with, “No, not yet. He has time.

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He has time. Certain times are running out. This summer is fading and so is Des’ ability to comfortably crawl. Now he straightens his legs in an almost stand. He’s uncomfortable with crawling alone. He feels in his knees and in his feet and in his head and in his heart that there is something more. Something new. I believe he has feared it, but I believe he will let the fresh, nearly chilly air greet him when his head rises higher than he ever thought possible. Everything runs its course in just the right time.

There’s a lot of room and a lot of years on this earth to run amok. He gets it. I’m starting to get it too..


There’s a place we can go when we want to slow down, or in the very least, we can unplug. (mainly because we have no choice with the lack of wi-fi in the Cape Cod house) We’ve been there once this summer, and we’ll go again before the end.

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A little sand in your eyes and ears? Eh, that’s nothing. You can always hide in your neon pink tent.

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Or connect with someone pretty darn special.

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And this is one of our places to love. For all the unplugging reasons. For the not being rushed reasons.

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And the biggest decisions at night are: bluefish or lobster? Indoor shower or outdoor shower?

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Some things you just know the answer to. Instantly.

About Tamara

Tamara is a professional photographer, a mama of two, a Lifestyle Blogger/Social Media Influencer/Brand Ambassador, and a nearly professional cookie taster. She has been known to be all four of those things at all hours of the day and night. She is a very proud contributor to the book, The Mother Of All Meltdowns, the Stigma Fighters Anthology (volume 1), and The HerStories Project: So Glad They Told Me. She is also a proud Community Lead and a regular contributor to the SoFab Food blog, and the Target Made Me Do It blog. After two cross country moves, due to her intense Bi-Coastal Disorder, she lives with her husband, daughter, son, dog, cat, and 11 chickens in glorious western Massachusetts.


Some Things You Just Know. — 88 Comments

  1. Every children is different and unique. They are healthy and that’s what matters. I know it’s kind of pressuring when people expect something advance from your kids. Like myself, my 6 years old cannot read yet but her cousin who a year older than she, is now can read a book by himself. My husband likes to compare the cousin and our daughter, but I told him she will catch up at the right time. Like your pictures, beautiful as always.

  2. I love that your mom kept a journal! My mom passed away when I was 17 and she wrote a few pages and how I wish she had written more…especially when my twins were born! Needless to say, I keep a very detailed journal of all things they do, say and play. I love the message in your post. People have something to say or opinions to give about every stage in your child's life. You know your kids best and know what works for your family so it's easy to brush these people and their comments off…most days. Good for you! I love the pics (of course) and Cape Cod is somewhere I've gone with my family since I was 3. There's magic there!

  3. I loved all the photos here, especially the one of Scarlett and Des playing together. They really remind of how close my kids are and just loved seeing that. And really does look like a fabulous place to be. We did the Connecticut shore last year and hope in the future to do more of these types of get aways even just for a few short lived days. Oh and I know we had the conversation about the kids hitting milestones and again just couldn't agree with you more. Lastly so happy that I got to help you on the move to WordPress and I am here if you need anything my friend!! πŸ™‚

  4. I SO wish we lived next to each other … I just want to be your friend. Milestones are always going to be proud moments, regardless of when they come in a child's life. {That goes for adults too — we are always changing.}

    Heart you mama!



    (¸¤ Lanaya | xoxo

  5. Welcome to your new space. It's gorgeous and eclectic, just like you. Brooks didn't take his first step until 18 months. And I "just knew" that he would be fine about it – just like you know Des will – but I had days where I was caught up in it too. We're moms. That's what we do. I think our little men are just completely chilled out guys who are content to do things in their own time and not when the "chart" says they have to. xo

  6. I get caught up worrying about things – often. (I am good at it, too!) But you are so right, everyone is one their own time. Some people rush ahead, while others are content to take a more meandering route. We still get there, right?

    And congratulations on your move – YAY! It looks great!

  7. I never can tell precisely which thing has touched me more: your words or your photos. And once again I sit here staring at the comments box, dazed and confused.

    Of one thing I am certain. I miss you guys even more now. How can I miss people I have not even hugged yet? One of the wonderful mysteries of life.

  8. I'm glad to hear your move to self-hosted was easy–I need to make the leap, too but I'm still scared! πŸ™‚

    People like milestones, they like to point out where kids are ahead of them and where they're behind them. My babies both walked early (9 months and 10 months) my cousins daughter is the same age as mine and she didn't walk until 16 months and she's got the highest GPA in her high school now. I like to think of milestones as an average, the average baby walks around one year old so that means many walk before and many after. Des is merely above average! πŸ™‚

    As always your post, your children and your photos are stunningly beautiful.

  9. So excited for you on your move! But I clicked over to re-follow you and it was already on there! So maybe it even transferred the bloglovin follow?! Looks like it! I love looking at your photos. Your Cape Cod getaway looks so relaxing! Enjoy that last hurrah of summer!!

  10. I love this. My favorite lines were "For all the unplugging reasons. For the not being rushed reasons." So perfectly put. And, as always, your photos! GAH I have photo jealousy. Congratulations on your move. I'm glad it was pain free and easy breezy. Which are what your beach photos make me feel.

  11. My little man didn't crawl months after his older sister had hit the milestone. When he finally did, he crawled for a few days and went right to walking, months before she had. All in good time – but that's easier said in hindsight. Fabulous photos as always.

  12. Tamara, I love this line: He has the hair of a two-year-old and good hair comes before walking. LOVE it!

    Sometimes I really wonder why they even publish developmental milestones because each child is unique and the timing can vary so dramatically! We always got comments about our girls being so petite. They were both peanuts their first year, and this was always a popular topic for discussion. Drove me absolutely NUTS!

  13. It's funny how we get caught up in those first steps. Des seems pretty darn content to me. I remember my youngest realizing that he could get places faster by crawling. Once we stopped encouraging him to walk, he decided to try it out! I think he was 13 months? People need to get a grip. It's not like there are teenagers around who never learned how to walk! πŸ™‚

  14. I am LOVING your new place! I am so happy you are WP now! YES!

    And ugh to all of the folks that ask you those silly questions. I got them ALL the time, I just wanted to HURT someone! BOTH of my boys were crawling at their first bday parties, and they walked at 15mo and 13 mos respectively. My firstborn didn't start chatterboxing till 2.5 years old. They do it when they are ready. Peeps need to mind their own biz. See you got me all crazy on this topic!! LOL

    • Oh yeah, the talking one is crazy. How many babies talk? I’ve never met a baby that didn’t catch up by age three to speak the way all three-year-olds speak. I even have a friend with a freakishly early talker and now that they’re all older, she doesn’t even speak as well as some of the others. She misses whole letters.

  15. You are so right! When they are smaller everyone is in a hurry for them to do, do, do. But there is no pause button. You can't make things stop when they are going to fast for you to hold on. Let it go. Ignore them. You get this time, even if others don't ubderstand it. One day Dez will walk all over and you'll long to see him crawl. To have a "baby". It's a precious time.

  16. Such gorgeous pictures!!!
    It’s funny how kids choose to do things in their own time – my oldest son walked at 9 months!! My youngest didn’t even attempt it till 15 months!!! All in good time!

  17. It was hard for me to not get caught up in the "your baby is doing this, mine should be too" with my second child. Everything was super easy to my older child, but not so much with my younger. But as time went on I also just had to come to the realization that she is healthy, she is happy, and she is not everyone else, she is her own person!!

  18. I am loving the new place. I never regretted making the move to WordPress.

    You have a beautiful family! Des is just amazing! Ryan was a late walker also. It really did bug me when people told me he should be doing this now or that now.

  19. I was sick with a migraine all day yesterday so never realized that you made an announcement and moved to WP. I plan on making the move in a year or so myself. As for Des, Des will be Des and will do things in his own time. Madison is totally different from my other kids. She walked faster and did everything motor wise before they all did but it's taking forever for her to speak, but she's healthy and thats all that matters. Your children are beautiful and healthy and that's all that matters too. Madison has a lot more fears than the others as well and will hold on to you as tight as she can if something scares her, she's deathly afraid of thunderstorms and snow. Weird but true. πŸ™‚

  20. First of all-CONGRATS on the move!! See? It wasn't so bad. πŸ™‚

    Second, I totally hear you on the whole wanting to punch someone (ok, I would want to punch them lol) when they question development. Kids do things when they are ready. It is nice to be able to enjoy the non walking time of their lives before they get into everything πŸ™‚ have fun with WordPress!

  21. Ahhh, beautiful beach time… I love your photos.

    It's funny how we regard these milestones. By the time we had our last babies, I'm pretty sure I was willing them to SIT as they were threatening to stand… walking early is SO over-rated.

    Your kids are happy & healthy and they'll do everything they're supposed to do when they're good and ready πŸ™‚

  22. YAY!!! I love your new digs!! And these pictures are absolutely amazing Tamara!!! Oh, how precious your kids are!!! Such a gift. Such a gift. Each one.

    My motto has been- "You know he/she won't be calling you from college to help get him/her to sleep through the night" …"Wipe his/her butt"… "walk on his/her own" … ETC!!!

    They will get there. They always do. And then they go back five steps, and then they go through phases that freak you out, and then they go through phases that scare you, delight you, sadden you. It goes on and on and on….each phase of want to/need to/can't do/should be doing/why not/what now/please please!!- oh sweet friend-

    Just take the ride with each one of them!!!! And hold on and embrace every single fall and turn and upside down wrap around moment!!! πŸ™‚ XOXOXOXOXOXOXO….

    • Thanks! Loving the new digs. And loving the words from you. I know in my heart it’s all good. And one day, well this will seem silly. Probably not too long from now.

  23. Oh, milestones. I hate them. Both my kids walked on the late side of normal (T at 14 months and L at 13 months), but L is definitely on the delayed side of speech. You’re right knowing that there’s a family history. I didn’t speak much until two, and my niece didn’t speak much until 3. I wish I could be more relaxed about it like you. (BTW, you’re absolutely right about his amazing head of hair…so cute!)

    • Good hair is so important! Ok, probably not really but to me as a photographer, it's actually something I do care about. It comes out very well in photos, however messy. My doctor did say that with Des, he wouldn't worry at all if the walking is late because of the family history.

  24. Looks like they are having fun at the beach. my son didn’t walk til I think 14 months and my daughter was before 12 months, so they are all different I guess :0

  25. I love the look of the new site! I just recently moved mine to self-hosting, it is still a work in progress. These are such great pictures of your children. Looks like they had themselves a great time.

  26. This hit close to home because my first son was a late walker and people were constantly asking me when he was going to walk. One friend even casually mentioned that her and her mom had been talking about my son, as if they were trying to figure out WHY he wasn't walking yet, and that he "seemed" normal. Of course now he walks and runs and jumps and does everything else all the other kids his age do. I think people just don't realize how much their questions and "concerns" can worry and stress a mother out. EVEN WHEN WE KNOW BETTER, like you said. You know he'll walk eventually. But I think it's just in us to worry.

    Those photos were amazing, love those hills and the misty ocean!

    • Ugh, I'd be so pissed if someone was talking about my son like that! I'd have some sort of rude rebuttal, I'm sure.

      Yes, the mist on the beach was kinda eerie for awhile!

  27. You capture very nice pictures! I love the ones depicting strong expressions not just of kids but all walks of life, even the landscape. I decided to follow you on Pinterest, and maybe on Facebook and Twitter when I get a chance.

    • Hey, maybe you'll get a neon pink tent! And thank you – I don't want to push him and get him upset, but I am awfully happy when he progresses and he sure knows it! He's learned to clap along with me.

  28. I honestly believe that milestones in general are overrated. As are growth charts and all that percentile crap. All kids are different and as long as they are not showing signs of things being seriously wrong, let them grow and come into their own. Beautiful photos, Tamara! And once again, welcome to the world of WordPress! You will NOT be disappointed. πŸ™‚

  29. Just enjoy your babies as they grow on their own. If the pediatrician is not worried – then you shouldn't either. If your mommy gut tells you something different, then follow that. Cherish every milestone, every word, every smile because yes, they will grow up and those memories will be what you hold to on those moments when you just want to scream and send them to their rooms!….I can't be all sensitive πŸ˜‰

    • My mommy gut definitely tells me not to worry. He reminds me of me so much that it hurts sometimes. I don't want him to be like me!! Well maybe a little, but not in all of the fearful and stubborn ways. I like to believe he's just content. Although today he climbed a little too much for my comfort level!

  30. Oh, that's interesting! With my daughter I never think these things because she's older but of course I'll be thinking about her development in school when she's older.

  31. Yes, it is magic there! It took me awhile to feel it, but now I can't stop. People are very opinionated and all I have to do is look into my heart and into my baby journal and into all of these comments and I feel better!

  32. Thank you! I will probably have many questions to come, like always. Yes I felt better talking with you. Unless there is something more seriously and evidently wrong, I never met a kid who didn't eventually walk and talk. I also haven't met any parents who haven't been asked annoying and probing questions. This all makes me feel better!

  33. Great post, and as always, beautiful pics. My son hit all his milestones on the late side. He didn't do anything, from being born to walking and talking and potty training, until he's damned ready to. It took awhile to learn that about him, but now we know.

    Also, love the new blog! I'm making the switch over to word press soon, so good to see you doing the same!

    • I think it's funny because I'm like that as an adult too, and it's kinda frustrating for the people around me. I guess I need to give him total space and no pressure!

  34. It always makes me feel better hearing that, and having seen him in person. Des is going to be just fine! And yes, so chilled out. I suppose that I'd prefer this to the alternative.

  35. Yes, when you make the leap I hope you find that it's not as scary as imagined!

    I heard once that learning to crawl means more intelligence but the two smartest women I know skipped crawling and went straight to walking. So who can make sense of this stuff?!

  36. That's funny! Didn't attempt it. Well maybe it wasn't funny at the time. Kids are so unique. This kid is thriving so it's hard to worry about him. Just yesterday he climbed a big bean bag chair. He couldn't do that last week.

  37. Whoop Whoop on making the move to self-hosted Tamara! Congratulations!!!!

    I love the line “He, she, I (bolded) has time”! That is a powerful response even for us as adults. People can be so intrusive. But anyway, I loved the sand picture. You capture the best moments. Beautiful post!

    • Thanks, Joi! And you'll never believe this but I still think back on your "24 reasons" post and I like to believe I'm not doing any of those 24 reasons. Usually not..

  38. My son is here reading your blog with me. So, I’ll post our joint comments: Lobster and outdoor shower. Wow, that beach is incredible. What cute kids. Really nice pictures! And, don’t rush these moments. We do have time. xo

  39. My daughter walked at around 13-14 months and I thought she was some sort of prodigy. I thought that was really early! Now it's just normal. With me at 18 months, I thought THAT was normal!

  40. Scarlet is so tiny! People comment on it all of the time and the thing is, you can't really tell how tall someone will be from being a baby or toddler. I was at the 5th percentile until I was in high school. Now I'm 5' 6"! Chances are Scarlet will be tall. My husband's side has only tall people.

  41. I know when I become a mom I will be the same way. Des seems to be such a special soul. Maybe he wants to experience everything in his own way and move at his own pace. He is taking everything in and enjoying where he is. Love his little face.

  42. That's funny! Maybe I should never encourage it! I find that even taking 15 minutes out of my day to show Des a safer way to climb down from Scarlet's bed, or to show him standing and sitting safely makes a world of difference. I do my own gentle physical therapy!

  43. I didn’t get a chance to comment on Monday, but congrats on the move to WordPress! This is definitely something I want to do in the future.

    I hate how others put pressure (whether knowingly or unknowingly) because of what milestones children are hitting and when. Kids do things when they’re ready. Hitting milestones early doesn’t make them better or smarter just like hitting them later doesn’t make them any less smart. It simply means they are ready to hit that milestone at that point. Simple as that.

    • Bingo. Bragging is useless. I admit that when I had my first I couldn’t stop gushing over all of the things that never really mattered – 22 inches at birth? Whatever. Learned to talk early? Awesome then but by two or three, they were all on the same level so did anyone remember that my daughter was a good talker? Probably not!

  44. Once again, your photos just blow me away!! I am glad Janine helped you. She's a superstar. And yes, the move isn't so bad. I love being on WordPress!

    I hate that we get so caught up in milestones. People forget that they are AVERAGES. Not every child is the same.

    And wasn't he a preemie? If so, he gets even MORE time! πŸ™‚

  45. Thanks, Alexa! He's actually not a preemie – he was full term but had a suspected infection type so he needed a round of antibiotics. I still think that contributes to his lack of physical prowess because he was laying in a bassinet for a week of life, but then I remembered that newborns do that anyway. This is just pure Des!

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