Some Buddy That I Used To Know.

Three things for Friday:

First of all, I’m a co-author in my second of three books (so far). I’m really proud of this one. I wrote it as a bit of a tribute to my mom for Mother’s Day but I honestly didn’t imagine it would get picked for the book. I write from some raw and confusing places sometimes. It’s not always fit to be mainstream, which is why I have my own two websites for photography and writing, because I can “put it out there”, but at my leisure and pace. And control. To be in another book? An honor.

You can click the photo to see more info about the book.

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Despite the hilarious title and cover that the Amazon author page customer rep told me was incredible, my story is not funny. Although I do believe I mention farts in it, so there’s that, right? The apple doesn’t fall far in this big family.

I’m feeling a bit celebratory (or a lot) so I did send the kids to their grandparents overnight. We have some plans this weekend, which maybe I’ll talk about soon. And I want to see the new Avengers movie with Cassidy. Movies are weird. I’ve always struggled with them, even during non-anxious points of life. It’s very hard to sit still and quiet in a dark and loud room. I’ve always had problems with violence and loud noises, which may or may not stem from my father’s sudden death and the sirens and screams that accompanied it. Sometimes it may seem like I can go to the movie theater without issue, and sometimes that is true, but often I have to fight it. I want to fight it. It’s probably easier with Cassidy than with Scarlet because with her, I’m truly stuck. With him, I can get up and go to the bathroom or get a drink if I need it. I want to try.

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The second thing today, is that I’m combining Finish The Sentence Friday with Ask Away Friday. I’ll answer one question today, and that’s the FTSF prompt: “Something I used to love, but now I hate is..” Hence the title of this post! It reminded me of the lovely “Somebody That I Used To Know” song, that Scarlet likes to call “Some Buddy I Used To Know” Or my favorite – “Spuddy I Used to Know.” Doesn’t that sound like a Weird Al parody waiting to be written? (if he hasn’t already?)

Something I used to love, but now hate is… shopping malls! I was born and raised in New Jersey so there isn’t a shopping mall I haven’t visited and probably enjoyed there. We have one big mall near here and it’s heinous. It’s in a city I really don’t like, but it’s more than that – the parking lot was designed more poorly than my five-year-old could have done. And it’s always crowded. I remember going to malls in New Jersey on random weekdays just to get some peace and quiet. My love for malls has been ruined! Although there is one nice one in CT that I can tolerate. What’s something you used to love, but now hate?


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  1. I am so seriously happy that we are in this book again together and just love that so much. Oh and by the way, I still love shopping and think we need to do a shopping day together to cure you of your dislike of it now. One more thing, I totally had a dream last night that we finally met in person and it was just amazing!! πŸ˜‰

    1. You are in it too Janine?? You guys rock! How exciting!! Can’t wait to take a look at!

          1. Well let’s keep each other posted. You’re one of the only reasons I want to go! You, my cousin and Gwyneth. That last one was a joke!

            1. Please do and loved the Gwynet joke! But still my mom’s guilt was working overtime with Emma’s birthday being on the opening day as it is getting closer.

              1. That’s tough!! And you know Scarlet is nearly her twin. I am usually having anxiety on their birthdays so I like to stay close to home.

    2. I have that dream a lot too!! We have to make it happen soon. Simply. I’m not totally sure about BlogHer yet. I know that sounds crazy but a lot of family stuff is coming up for July. That said, it’s still possible.

  2. I don’t like the ‘big box’ malls that have popped up everywhere. They’re too big and take out the local town business. Aesthetically, they’re plain ugly! I used to love that song, too. It’s alright but not my favorite. I think it got worn out lol. Hope you and Cassidy have a fun night and the movie isn’t too overwhelming! Congrats on the book publishing. It looks amazing!!

    1. Thanks!! I can’t wait until the mail brings my next copy.

      I used to love malls so much because I was from New Jersey and seeing them everywhere was like a universal act of familiarity. I got homesick back in the day. Now I get homesick for New England!

  3. When my two were little I used to love the local shopping mall because of its free cookies and the large fountain. I was shameless. I’d pop into the bakery and my two would press their faces against the cookie window. The lovely lady would ask them if they’d like to choose one each. They would and then we’d smile our thanks and depart. How could I not buy anything? Oh man. My poor sleep deprived brain. And then we’d amble over to the fountain and look at the shiny donated pennies and dimes that glinted on the bottom. We could spend the pre nap time there quite happily. Sadly, both the bakery and the fountain are no longer there.
    Congrats on the book! I’m looking forward to reading it.

    1. Free cookies and large fountain? Yes!!
      I’m obsessed with bakeries, though. Just the smell of them. Yummmmmmm…
      What’s in their place now? A bigger mall?

  4. I love the New Jersey and mall tie-in lol. I have to agree with you: I used to love going to the mall. And maybe it’s the whole online shopping deal, but to me, most of shopping seems useless done in a real place. Another thing to add: I was never a good friend to shop with. I’m the type that will just do a quick look through a store, and if nothing strikes me, then move on. Whereas my friends liked to linger and discuss. I felt like such a dude stuck in a shopping mall!

    1. I slowly became that person! I’d go with friends and zip in and out of every store while they all lingered. I shudder to think it would still happen. Sometimes I fantasize about going alone, which I suppose isn’t out of the realm of possibility!

  5. I love this book so much. Although, I am sad that I missed submissions for it! I am so proud of you and all of my friends that are in it! I also love hosting Ask Away Friday with you!

  6. Congratulations on the book! I have ordered it. I almost put a song on my post this week. When I was (desperately) trying to come up with what to write, I kept hearing the Sheryl Crow song, “A Change Will Do you Good..” But it seemed like top much trouble and I ended up taking a wild left turn with the post, anyway…

  7. Yay for the book!

    Have fun seeing The Avengers. I think I like getting the popcorn more than seeing the movie sometimes. I love movie theater popcorn.

    1. Me too! I used to work for an organization that ran a non-profit theater. I took in the deliveries and could have unlimited popcorn. The butter was real butter!! It sort of made it worse for me to go to other theaters and have their chemical butter.. but… I still love movie theater popcorn.
      Once.. or twice.. I went to the movies, bought popcorn, and didn’t see a movie!

  8. SO DITTO!!!!!!!!! I HATE malls! I can’t believe we would go as therapy back in the day………….what. the. hell. and congrats I can’t wait to read the book!

  9. Congratulations on the book! Awesomesauce!

    I don’t like movie theatres. I like wearing my PJs, drinking wine, and eating popcorn. I also like to pause the movie to go pee. Although there are some movies (like The Avengers) that need to be seen in the theatres!

    Thanks for sharing.

    Wishing you a lovely weekend.

    1. I totally agree about how some movies should be seen in the theater. I think that with trailers too! I had only seen a trailer for the new Star Wars movie on my tiny phone. Seeing it on the big screen was pretty awesome!

  10. Congrats Tamara! I can’t wait to read your essay. I’m ok with dark topics since that’s also what I often write about πŸ™‚ I’d like to be funnier but more often than not I’m not, ha.

    Also as a fellow NJ native I used to like malls well enough but now I totally despise them! They make me anxious and irritable and if I never set foot in one again that would be awesome.

    1. I hear that! I’m not very funny when it comes down to it. I suppose I have my moments.
      It’s strange about malls. And also, online shopping has really come about since the days of New Jersey malls. So it’s nice to do that!

  11. Congratulations on being published again! I do love the title of the book, though. And it’s no surprise that you were picked as part of the compilation. Your writing style is very approachable. I totallty agree with you about malls, too. My BIL refers to them as “mauls”, the experience here is so unpleasant. Enjoy some alone time with Cassidy this weekend and have fun celebrating!

  12. I hate malls, if it can’t be bought online or in the early hours of the morning at the grocery store when no one else is there, it doesn’t get bought by me! Congratulations on the new book!

    1. Early morning – yes, that’s the best time!
      I can’t understand going to a mall around Christmas time. I think I’d rather smack myself with a frying pan. Does that sound too harsh?

  13. Congrats on the book!! I’m still bummed that it didn’t work out for me. Most of the malls around me have pretty much died over the years. I still love shopping, though – just not at the malls.

    1. I’m bummed it didn’t work out as well. At least we’re co-authors for MOAM, always.
      I do love shopping. We have a great downtown area here!

  14. Congratulations on the book, sweet thing! I used to love malls as well. Not so much any longer. In fact, all week, I’ve been meaning to go and buy a dress for something this weekend but nope. Oh well. I hope that you enjoy the movie and don’t feel icky in there – my husband really wants to see that one.

    1. I went to the movie! I didn’t feel too icky at all. A little angsty, as Cassidy said, but then I won Scarlet a rag doll in one of those crane machines right before the movie so I lived off that high for awhile.

  15. I’m not a fan of shopping malls either. Ours here is small so it’s no biggie. Parking is totally easy even at Christmastime. Walmart – that’s another story. That’s interesting what you said about the movies. Christopher doesn’t like to go either. When he was 5 or so, whatever year Happy Feet 2 came out, we had to leave the theater. The 3D was too real for him to stand. He doesn’t like how loud it is either and the preview inevitably show something inappropriate or scary and he doesn’t like that either. Last weekend we wanted to see Furious 7 which he loves the F&F movies but my husband stayed out with him and I texted them when the previews were over. He was good with that. He’s on the fence about Avengers. Congrats on being in another book!

    1. Not crowded at Christmastime?? I’m sold!
      Walmart scares me. We have a Costco near here that has the most terrifying parking lot ever. I won’t even attempt to park close. I just get that extra minute or so of walking in!
      And 3D movies scare me even at age 34!

  16. I used to love to put jigsaw puzzles together. I had this hard to explain knack of solving them rather quickly. I also used to assemble plastic model sports cars and buy those tiny little paint bottles and paint them. I had dozens of them displayed on my bedroom shelves, and a few scattered around the house. I also loved to paint scenic and oceanic and mountain views with paint by the numbers kits. It’s been years since I put together a jigsaw puzzle or a model sports car or painted a picture. I have a feeling that in my older years I may rekindle my interests in them once again.

    1. I used to love puzzles too, but forgot about them until I had kids. Now Scarlet loves them and I can feel a great love for them as well.
      I used to love crossword puzzles, although I have a feeling I still do but just haven’t done one in awhile.

  17. I agree so much with Kristi! “Spuddy” truly is adorable, and it’s a great name for a kid’s story book or adventure book character or a cartoon character. How about a Trademark for that adorable name Tamara?

    1. I really love working with Blue Lobster – it’s my second time with them and their books are always fun!
      I imagine that you did an amazing cover of this song!

  18. Congratulations! The title is amazing – LOL.
    I hope you did go see the movie!! That’s where I will be there tomorrow night with my hubby. And then if it is okay, I’ll take our son on Sunday. And you know I’d take anybody willing on Monday too…. haha.

      1. Done and done! twice!
        that one scene with Thor and Cap…. way too much hot in one spot. I couldn’t openly drool though because my husband was with me, and then my son. I went for the joke instead: something about the wardrobe department shopping at Baby Gap for Chris Evan’s tshirts. it wasn’t really a complaint. πŸ˜‰

        1. haha! That’s great.
          I asked Cassidy which Avenger he’d pick if he had to choose which one I would most have a crush on in real life.
          He chose Bruce Banner, baby.

  19. Malls definitely do not have the same allure for me that they did in my middle and high school years. I think while they’ve changed in many good ways, they are just not as cool. And I truly dislike when people go there just to hang out…you know, like we did when we were in school! πŸ˜€ I think that makes me old. Your book is one of many on my to-read pile…working my way there one by one! Congratulations!

    1. haha! Yes, like we used to do! Every Friday and Saturday night! Sheesh – no wonder we got so many dirty looks.
      I bet your to-read pile is very fun!

        1. I absolutely hear that. My pile is huge. Sometimes I worry I’ll run out of books to read, but that is not possible on this earth!

    1. Thanks!! The movies thing comes and goes. It generally goes ok because I remind myself that movies are for fun and entertainment! Simple as that sometimes. (and popcorn helps.)

  20. Congrats on the book! It looks really wonderful. I understand what you mean about malls as well. Actually, I don’t spend nearly as much time in malls as I used to do — I tend to shop more and more online. I wonder what that means for the socializing that used to happen in malls on a Saturday night?

    1. I wonder that! I think maybe teens still do it. And heck, college kids. I think I stopped at some point in my 20’s but after kids. When I lived in San Francisco, I totally still loved their big malls.

  21. Congratulations on the book!
    I am not a fan of shopping malls especially when they’re crowded, but I do love shopping!
    I am a frequent Etsy-er. πŸ™‚

    1. I love shopping downtown so much! And online around the holidays (and like.. always)
      It certainly helps that I make my own money now, however little. There were some dark years in there!

  22. I prefer online shopping to in-store shopping. I don’t like going to the mall on weekends because their are just too many people there hanging out.
    Congratulations on your new book πŸ™‚
    I use to love listening to the radio. Now I mostly only listen to NPR on the radio. I like to control what I listen to if it is music. Especially, if my kids are with me we listen to a lot of VeggieTales and Little People cds in the car. And various kid friendly Pandora stations in the house.

    1. I didn’t even know there were Little People cds. That sounds fun! And Pandora is really great – we love the Disney station.

  23. Congratulations on the book, love!!!
    I hope you and Cassidy enjoy your time together. πŸ˜‰ I know you two will.
    And why are you my anxiety twin!?! I totally get the movie theater, as I type this my babies and husband are at the theater watching Avengers. πŸ˜€ I do go see movies though, I love movie watching and popcorn. πŸ™‚
    We have an outdoor mall here in South Carolina, I like it when it’s not hot out. Thankfully, they just built a parking garage, which the Natives here hate.

    1. We are such twins!! Agh! Did they love Avengers? We did.
      And yes, I do love to go and get popcorn and taking Scarlet is really special. I can’t wait to take Des to movies!
      I remember a mall in SC called Barefoot Landing. It was awesome!

  24. Oh my goodness, I had started to write a post for FTSF and I was also going to write about malls! I used to love going to the mall in high school and college. Now I can’t stand them! The lighting. The fighting to find a parking spot. And yay for the book, I can’t wait to read this one πŸ™‚

    1. That is so funny!! We’re both Jersey girls turned New Englanders. I wonder if it’s a thing, although you have better malls out east – like that big Natick one with the Lush store.

      1. I will say that Natick is very nice, similar to “The Mall at Short Hills” in feel (and ritziness). I even have some jewelry for sale in a store there πŸ˜‰ I just tend to not like malls overall anymore.

  25. Congratulations on the book! How awesome!! I used to absolutely LOVE the mall….then I grew up and bringing the kids to the mall is an adventure in itself! Enjoy the movie, I just sent my husband off to watch it. I bet it will make loads of money this weekend!

    1. It’s certainly an adventure with two kids. I think I need to try it solo again, just for old time’s sake! It might blow my mind.
      I bet it broke box office records!

  26. Congratulations on the book! On Amazon – nice one.
    Yeah, I’m not big on malls either. In fact I don’t like them anymore. Seen one, seen them all. Plus, clothes shopping for me is always a hassle as I am way taller than average. So, I tend to not go there unless I have got overseas visitor who just have to go.

    1. I have weird proportions. People all say that but I have long legs but I’m not really tall – just average. And my hips are HIGH! And I’m skinny but curvy. So weird.
      The bottom line? Nordstrom. My weakness. Luckily there are none near me.

  27. I totally love that song! I am so happy for you with the book and I can’t wait to read it! We don’t really do movie theaters, much. The last movie we saw, at the theater, was The Lorax. Our mall is generally very empty during the weekday, mostly people walking, to get their exercise. LOL! Have a great weekend, my friend!

    1. The Lorax! That was awhile! Well before this it was Cinderella with Scarlet, and before that, Frozen! So that was well over 1.5 years ago.
      Your mall sounds good!

  28. Congratulations on being published again! Such a great accomplishment. I’m sorry about your mall – I would be very sad if I didn’t like going to the mall :)! Hmmm….what did I used to like that I don’t anymore? I will say fettucine alfredo. It used to be my favorite, but then I got the flu after eating it a few years ago, and now I can’t do it anymore. Hope you’re having a great weekend!

    1. I think it depends on the mall, really. The one in Connecticut isn’t so far away and it’s more fun. It has a Nordstrom and they have exquisite lattes!
      I’d go to a mall with you, because of your great fashion sense!
      I have definitely hated things after eating them with the flu and not even stomach flus! I’ve gotten that from colds and fevers!

  29. So cool for you, can’t wait til I have to say “I knew her when…” Although with three books I should be saying that now! I hope that you enjoyed the night out and the movie, you so deserve it. You and Cassidy both do. Now, are we going to see any of the pics from Cassidy’s trip? Would love it. And I am not a huge fan of shopping malls anymore either. The walking kills me, but it kills me just as much that my husband now takes the daughter cause I can’t. If she knows exactly where we are going and it isn’t just random walking all over the mall I’m good, so I hate malls now too!

    1. Aw! You’ll know me when and I’ll know you when. I tend to plateau for long periods of time, though. And I have terrible self-confidence and self-worth so not sure when or if I’ll ever skyrocket.
      I want to see photos from Cassidy’s trip too! Ok, I did see a few. Maybe he’ll guest post! That would be awesome.

  30. Way to go getting into another book!! Anything that celebrates the selfless work of mothers is a great idea. I haven’t seen the new Avengers movie. In fact, I haven’t seen any Avengers movie. Am I missing out? Should I go back and start at the beginning?

    1. Not sure – depends on how you love superhero movies! I was inspired by Cassidy’s love for it. There aren’t that many movies about the Avengers, but the individual avengers have movies. There are three Iron Man movies, two Captain America ones, one or two Thor ones.. a few Incredible Hulk ones.

  31. I thought my reversal on malls was because of old age. When Elise was in a stroller, some punks were horsing around in front of us and pushed one of their mates right at the stroller. I swung around with a forearm shiver to the solar plexus to keep him off my baby. Dipshit.

    (Wow, I sound old now. You’re much younger.)

    1. I don’t think that sounds old. That sounds just about right.
      I have to go google what solar plexus is. brb..
      I bet that showed ’em.

  32. I’ve never been a huge fan of malls, but somehow Frances is. When we have time for just the two of us, she asks sweetly if I’ll take her to Claire’s. That’s real love right there!

    1. Aw! That is love! Scarlet isn’t quite old enough for Claire’s but when she is – look out! I remember being so obsessed.

  33. Congrats on the book! I love to shop, but I also have much less patience for malls than I used to. I go during the week, and if I must go on the weekends I cannot tolerate the crowds!

    1. Weekends are nearly impossible for me. We went on a weekday recently but it was spring break and I had forgotten that. I was like, “Doesn’t anyone work???” Oh yeah. I don’t. I mean, I do, but not at an office.

  34. Congrats on the book Tamara!! I want to read your essay in it… I just know it will be powerful and emotional and all that you create is always just that.

    I’m going to have that song in my head all day now… one of my FAVES!!

    Oh, and I HATE shopping malls now… *shudders*

    1. Thank you, dear! I honestly haven’t read it since I submitted it. I am a freak about that.
      The song is in my head too!
      Let’s never go to a mall together! Too many other great things, like beach houses.

  35. Congratulations for being featured in the book, that’s amazing!

    Your love and hate of shopping malls reminds me of my feelings for Primark (Do they have Primark in the US? It’s basically just a clothes shop, but one of the cheapest ones around!). We never used to have one in my hometown so I would absolutely love to go whenever I was in another city, but as soon as I moved to a place with one I realised how annoying the shop was! All the clothes are cheap for a reason, the shelves are always badly stocked and the staff are rude! Cannot believe I ever loved the place!

    1. I don’t know Primark! I wonder if it’s in the US, but just not near me.
      I can’t stand stores like this! We have one called Forever 21 and it’s like you describe. Very cheap clothes. Very disorganized store. Very rude staff! They just don’t care!

  36. Congrats on the book, Tamara! How exciting.

    We saw Avengers this past weekend – it was fun and entertaining. I do understand about the sudden noises and violence – sometimes you have to determine if you are in the right frame of mind to enjoy a movie that has these characteristics.

  37. I am so proud of you Tamara! I will need to buy a copy for you to autograph when I visit someday!

  38. Good to hear that! That sounds like a great book!
    There are shopping malls I love and I hate. But in our country, shopping malls are like second homes to people. LOL. There are lots of them in big cities. People don’t necessarily buy stuff. Just strolling around yah know. Hehe

    1. We have lots of them in big cities too, but they vary in size and culture. I do love some of them, but more the quiet ones!

  39. Congratulations on being published, that is always a honor and feels so great doesn’t it? =) Something I used to love, but now hate…camping….but I’m hoping this is only a temporary hate…I used to camp often, hike every week, but with small children it’s impossible. We went on one camping trip last summer and it wasn’t even real camping IMO, it was car camping and I thought we would have fun…but imagine getting woken up every hour by an uncomfortable baby crying so loud it echoed through the campground I’m sure annoying everyone that could hear…not fun at all! oh, and hiking we can kind of manage as long as it is a short one, which takes hours because Freya needs to stop every two feet to pick up rocks or sticks or turn and run the opposite directions lol =)

    1. I have actually never camped before! I’m not sure I’d be a fan but I’m looking at is as the mother of two, and not as someone untethered.

  40. First off, big congrats on your co-authoring, that’s so awesome Tamara! You’re doing big things lady, so keep it up!

  41. First…CONGRATULATIONS! That is so amazing! I’m so proud of you! I’m not at all surprised!

    Secondly…you make me feel so normal. I really struggle with movies too. I find myself watching other people watch the movies and I cannot deal with violence or loud sounds at all.

    And yay! Cassidy’s home!

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