Did you ever feel that the universe is giving you a lot of low-lying fruit, intended for you to pick? I feel that way sometimes. My spiritual/religious beliefs are really a mixed bag and they change often, but I do sometimes wonder if we’re getting messages. These messages can come from many sources – music, brochures left lying in doctors’ offices, emails, phone calls, blogs, the news, whatever. No matter the source, sometimes I can string together a common theme. Maybe I’m just noticing something more and it’s been there all along but now that it’s in my attention, I notice it elsewhere. Or maybe it’s the low-lying fruit for us to pick theory. Who knows??
Lately I’ve been thinking about relaxation. It all started with my friend and blogger friend (she’s both to me!) Edison Rex’s post about finding spaces of complete trust. I loved it! It stayed with me throughout that whole day.
After describing her experience with a yoga session she writes,
“I realized, as I moved in and out of poses, what a vital and necessary thing it is to have places of complete trust.
Tension releases. Hackles go down. Jaws unclench. Defenses, gone.
Trust allows release. Unbounded creativity. To see and be seen, completely and clearly.
So much of life requires demands on guard. Second-guessing. Analyzing. Selectively sharing. Or does it?
Where do you find spaces of complete trust?”
And I thought about that what she said. I’m not sure I’d have the same experience of trust that she did, but I’d try to find out how. Or where. I’m not good at relaxing, at least not in situations that are usually relaxing. Massages scare me. Peaceful music in a spa setting makes me want to stand up and sing loudly to break the silence. Cassidy and I like to go to couples’ baths up in Calistoga, CA at the Lavendar Hill Spa. While he can sink into the heat, I often sit straight up and briskly switch on the cold weather because suddenly it feels too hot and I’m not relaxed AT ALL. And when we used our Groupon at a hot tub spa, I couldn’t sit in the hot tub for more than two minutes before it got too hot and I ran into the cold shower.
I suck at relaxing and releasing tension. Or at least, those mainstream avenues of relaxation. It doesn’t mean I can’t find my own way there. Sometimes. I need to find my space of complete trust, as Maeg says. And if I can’t find it in the physical world, I’ll create one in my mind.
Later after I read Edison Rex’s post, I saw a brochure on a bulletin board in a coffee shop about panic and trauma therapy. There were steps about putting both feet on the ground and “making like a tree.” Then it was about breathing and visualizing and letting your tension release. I didn’t take it home because there was only one left, but I wish I had.
Later on at a place that is kind of personal so we can call it “Meditation Class,” we learned about how the mind carries bodily memories with it. When you think of a negative memory or have a negative thought that makes your body react to stress, you can pull up a positive memory to calm yourself just as easily. And many of us have more positive memories than negative, so there’s a nearly endless supply of comfortable places to put yourself in. So I learned to surround myself with positive memories, words, feelings, colors. They don’t even have to be real but I have enough real ones to go by.
Yet later, I got in the car and heard “Relax” by Frankie Goes To Hollywood. So I did.
It’s not perfect. We can’t always close our eyes and meditate. We have jobs and toddlers and a public life. Not perfect, but it’s possible. I love hearing more and more about how the tools to relax ourselves and even heal ourselves are within our own thoughts and minds. Brilliant, really. We’re relaxing/healing machines! Sometimes we just have to find out how to tap into it and let it flow. It’s simple, but not easy, to me.