Maybe You Should Quit Your Day Job.

Up until 7:00pm tonight, and through my own buffoonery, I thought I was writing about relationship meltdowns.

And much more than that, of course. It was a scheduling snafu, though. Stay tuned for that one, as well as photos and stories from Halloween and from my sister’s wedding. Those stories are far from over but it will take time to build a bit more until I’m ready. I’m all kinds of upside down and in catchup mode from the wedding and all of the still-happening fall photo shoots.

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Luckily I had a backup plan. I always have a backup plan.

Speaking of which, did you catch “Doctor Who” last night? I think it was the single most terrifying episode for me. Ever. I actually don’t normally get scared by “Doctor Who” although I get a lot of other things. I totally sat in petrified silence, although I stopped every few seconds to throw buttered popcorn into my mouth, so how scared was I really? The last time I got truly scared by a movie or TV show, it actually made me nauseous. So thank you, “Doctor Who” for always having enough class so that I don’t get nauseous while watching you. And as “Doctor Who” has many lives, it seems I do too.

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A lot of people asked me over the weekend if costume-making was Cassidy’s profession. It’s not, but he’s a highly creative soul. I can’t even begin to wrap my head around what he thought up himself and then made come alive. That’s what he did. He made Groot (from Guardians of the Galaxy) come to life, for me, and for the delighted faces of hundreds of people.

Probably thousands.

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That was a sneak peek for you, in the rare chance that we’re not already Facebook friends. More a-coming.

Back to “Doctor Who.” People have often mentioned that I’ve had a lot of jobs in my life. It’s true. I’ve never been content to stick with just one or two, but it’s not even that I have a commitment problem with jobs. (or anything) It’s that it took me a really long time to figure out what I wanted to do. And for some people, it doesn’t take as long. For many others, it takes even longer. And that’s if you’re lucky enough to figure it out at all. Likely, we all have more than one thing. As Des’ wonderful daycare teacher said of him, when I told her about DizMommy’s question about what Des might be when he grows up, it may be more than one thing. It may be many wonderful things. We should all be so lucky to be many things.

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I have been many wonderful things, and many not-so-wonderful things. More of those, in fact! After my job-themed “Truths & Lies” post, I realized I had enough material for an entire new post! And then I realized I didn’t want to make up fake stories and make you guess. I just want to tell the true stories – they’re outlandish enough as is. Please try not to think too poorly of me after these. They’re not new stories, but my maturity levels have never really been in check anyway.. soo..why lie?

Gulp, here goes:

1. Let’s start with a bang! I was delivering pizza for a small, local business and when I stared at the receipt telling me where to go next one day, I blinked in confusion. My boss was actually apologetic, but we were short-staffed and no one else could do it. It was a delivery to the adult store down the street. So I went. I walked in cautiously and the man who worked there was just sitting under a sign that said, “Absolutely no one under 21 admitted” and he was just staring at me. And then staring some more. I very nervously said, “Oh! I’m so sorry! I’m only 19. I guess I can’t make this delivery inside? Do you want me to leave?” He said nothing, handed me the cash, and then took his pizza. As I was walking out the door he said, “Come back.. anytime.” After that he would call all the time and request me to deliver again, but my boss never let me go back.

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2. I was babysitting one of my favorite families. The older boy was only a few years younger than me but still needed a sitter because both kids had a seizure disorder, and the younger one was a handful. We would usually put the little one to bed and then stay up late watching “Star Wars” together until the parents came home. One night we finally got him in bed and we were standing in the old, creaky hallway of this very old house and we BOTH saw a little boy run across the hallway in FRONT of us. “Bobby, get in bed!” We yelled in unison at the little brother who should have been in bed BEHIND us. Guess what? He WAS in bed, behind us. And even if he was faking sleep, he still couldn’t have gotten there in so little time. It was FREAKY.

3. I worked in the compliance department of ADP one fall, and dated my boss’ boss and got into all kinds of trouble on Instant Messenger in the break room. Anyway. I had to call people about documents they needed. It wasn’t even sales related but one man was so rude to me on the phone that I nearly broke into tears. I mean, seriously rude. It’s nice that most of you don’t know this about me, but if someone pisses me off enough, I’m not nice. It happens like once every ten years, so no worries on that one. Anyway, this man was that person. He told me that under NO CONDITIONS would I send him the packet of documents he needed. So I did. And I wrote something horrific on the send label. Like say his name was John Smith. I wrote, John “Dickless” Smith” on the label. And I mailed it. I was 23. And really pushed to my limits. And.. no more excuses. Sigh.

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(Sometimes.. too mischievous for my own good.)

4. I was going through a really bad breakup in my 20’s when I was an Inside Client Services Rep. I was on a field trip in Houston, and one of my clients wanted to set me up on a blind date with a French guy who was temporarily working with them in the states. I thought, “Why the heck not?” and went on the date. He was HOT! We went to dinner and even wound up in a bar with line dancing, and then wound up getting cake for dessert in a hotel bar late at night. Perfect date. After that night, we never called each other again, but it didn’t matter. He went back to France anyway.

5. Another pizza delivery episode, but this time I worked for Domino’s. They had a more streamlined way of choosing and sending drivers out and I was on a triple delivery. This was before cellphones, and the store couldn’t call me to tell me I had left the food behind for my second house. I pulled up to the driveway, unknowingly, and the people started circling me like hungry vultures. That’s when I looked into my pizza cases and realized.. I had nothing for them. Just.. nothing. I had to get out of the car and tell this entire party of people that their three pizzas would be delayed, and that I was empty-handed! Oh boy, the looks on their faces. Luckily another driver was just behind me with the missing pizzas so I didn’t have to go all the way back to Domino’s and then to this house again. I don’t embarrass easily, but that incident did it for me. Embarrassed!

So if this were actually a truths and lies post, which one or two would you think are lies?

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116 Comments

  1. OK I have to say again that Cassidy’s costume was truly breathtaking. I’m still in awe after seeing it and yes he does deserve a role in Hollywood somewhere. I can totally see you living there too but I’m sure you’ll miss the country. ๐Ÿ™‚ Now as to your truth and lies I can never tell when you’re not telling the truth because you’re so good with your storytelling. OK after being scared by Dr. Who I’m going to say that it was #2. You totally made that one up. ๐Ÿ™‚

    1. He used to work for Star Wars, and I swear he could do better characters than they do!
      Ok, it’s not really a truths and lies post. They are all true! I promise!

  2. I would believe them all – I’ve read enough of your job posts to know that anything is possible! But I suppose I’d pick #2 – I’m a skeptic until I’ve seen it with my own eyes. I also would have been completely freaked out!

    1. They’re all true! I mean, I don’t know what really happened that night but I’m not telling any lies in this story.. Just wanted to see if people thought I had..

    1. Nope!! All true! I was just curious. #2 seems to be the one people don’t believe but it happened! I’m sure I told you many times! Not sure what really happened since I don’t tend to believe in ghosts, but it was WEIRD.

  3. Seriously, Cassidy totally outdid himself and Kevin actually saw that pic on my Facebook feed and was completely enthralled and he is not one to care much for FB or social media for that matter. So definitely we were impressed here. As for the possible lie, I’m going with #3 and now can’t wait to find out ๐Ÿ˜‰

    1. I’m so happy Kevin liked it! I just wish we had more video, but of course I took many photos with my real camera too. They’re coming!
      As for #3, it’s as true as the rest! I really didn’t throw any lies in there. I hate having to remember to update the post with the correct answers so it’s just a truths post.
      (I’m a terrible person)

  4. I am not a fan of Halloween, because I can’t stand anything scary, but Cassidy’s costume is da bomb. Just wow!
    As for your incredible job stories – I like knowing that they are all true, I’m really not good at guessing … But if I had to guess then I would wish #3 was a lie ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. I’m very gullible, so seriously, I’d believe all of them. But my guess would be #1 – because it was longer than the others, which makes me thing you “put more into it.” And I know from AAF that you and Janine are close – so if she says # 3, I’m going with # 3.

  6. Awesome stories!!! That is so gross about the guy in the adult store, ew. That is so CREEPY about the little boy running in the hall, noooooooooo I didn’t just read that! That is HILARIOUS about Dickless John Smith, hahahahaha. If he made you cry, he deserved it! Hot French date and omg I’d totally die if the pizza thing had happened lol. Thank god someone pulled up right behind you with the pizza!!

    1. Well he wasn’t right behind me… I left first and knew someone pulled up not horribly long after! Embarrassing!!
      As for the ghost story, it’s the only one I know. Maybe there was a logical explanation. One would hope!

  7. Cassidy’s costume is AMAZING! I know people that get into Halloween, but I have never seen anyone do anything like that. And #2, that is too bizarre. I would have been really freaked out. I don’t know what to believe with ghosts. I think there is something to it though.

    1. I think I’m with you! I don’t really believe in ghosts, but other times, it’s hard not to.
      His costume was so insane that I can barely write about it. I will try, though, for Wednesday’s post.

  8. I agree that Cassidy is incredibly talented. And I can’t stop looking at the photos of his costume! And the photos from your sister’s wedding. Both breathtaking. Compared to your job stories, my work history has been so tame! I think I would have turned beet red if I were making a delivery to an adult store. That second story just freaks me out!

    1. The second story is so freaky! Other than that, I have no stories like that. I don’t even know if I really believe in ghosts, but that was weird.

  9. HAHAHAHA!!!!! The creepy “come back anytime” guy was hilarious! And pre cell phone delivery driving is legendary! Drivers these days just don’t get the struggle. Your French fate sounds dreamy! And des’ future is big and bright. He’s already the perfect model! Is he a good boy in daycare?

    1. He is so good! I actually just dropped him off and he was dancing and running and laughing. He’s pretty much just a delightful child. I hope that lasts, but in my previous experience, there can be rough times. Maybe it’s different with boys. Or this boy.

    1. You know, it takes a lot to piss me off. You really have to attack me or push me. And it does happen and I do fight back, but nothing like what I did then.

    1. Me too!! I swear I’m not someone who really even believes ghost stories. I don’t doubt that there’s a logical explanation, but it’s still scary to think about.

  10. Now that I know they’re all TRUE, I have to say that you have had some amazing adventures!!! Ha ha aha!! Love it. Also, the boys just bought Groot for Infinity over the weekend and they FREAKED when I showed them Cassidy’s costume! So, so cool.

  11. Seeing a kid ghost run across the hall sounds so scary. At least the other brother saw it too. I would have doubted myself if I saw it alone.
    It sounds like you have a lot of great stories from delivering pizza. I’m sure it was schocking going into an adult store, but I think it’s pretty shocking going in there at any age.

    1. Yes!! I don’t frequent adult stores but I had to go in one recently to get stuff for my sister’s bachelorette party. However, it’s Northhampton so it was a very classy one. The one that I delivered pizza to was not classy at all.
      I almost wish I had been alone with the ghost story, because it would’ve made it less real feeling.

  12. I think that on same level we must be thinking similar thoughts – with the job talk and trying to figure out what you want to do!!
    I love when you share some of your previous work related experiences – fun to read.
    And, Cassidy’s costume was incredible – the FB pictures were amazing!!!

    1. Yes, I think it’s very hard to figure out what you want to do. And how to know when and if to separate passion from moneymaking. I think everyone wants that dream of doing what you love, but you can love more than one thing. I just think that doing something you hate would really suck. Waste of life.

  13. I have worked a lot of jobs in my lifetime, but delivering pizzas always scared me. The adult store guy was a super creep, glad your boss had the sense not to send you back! The little boy running story was also creepy! Shivers.

    1. It would scare me to do it now. I delivered in the town I had grown up in, so it just felt pretty safe. I think people were surprised to see a teenage girl on their doorstep, though.

  14. So here’s the thing, you are such a surprising person that they could all be true or could all be lies. That’s why I love reading your posts… that, and your incredible husband who seems to be both wildly creative AND organized, which is a very unique combo. Love that opening photo of you guys on your hands… and I think you are in a strapless dress, so that is courage right there my friend. Have a great day!

    1. That is actually a picture of my sister! I wore a strapless dress at my wedding too, but I never hung out upside down.
      You totally nailed it. My husband is creative and organized. And he can organize his creativity. And be creative with his organization. It’s a gift.

  15. I love that you delivered pizza! I did too. If I wrote a post like this, it would be a mile long. I started working when I was 11 and had a lot of odd jobs until I was able to enter the “real” workforce!

  16. Kudos to Cassidy on his costume and I agree with most people here in saying the babysitting story is slightly creepy. Although the come back anytime dude is pretty close too! I should make Frank write a post about his odd jobs – if I’m not mistaken he was selling Avon or something like that at one point in time!

  17. Total spit take!! John “Dickless” Smith– I die!! Oh, Tamaraโ€ฆ farting, burping, and Dickless revenge– I love it ๐Ÿ˜‰
    Again, Cassidy’s costume was AWESOME!! I had to show my husband, and he was in awe as week.
    XOXO

    1. I have been in total awe about the costume and the wedding from two weeks ago. People around me are very creative!
      Even with our revenge! I get a little embarrassed to post about my vengeance, but I am not going to be messed with, I guess!

  18. See scrolling down the comments totally gave it away for me but #2 was the creepiest. Gah….I had to skim over Dr. Who. My Doctor (how ironic) actually told me that I needed something really stupid to watch so that I could keep my mind off of things so I started watching it. I mean, it’s kind of stupid but an addicting stupid. It’s one of those shows that are like “Ugh…but I can’t stop watching now” so you keep on watching. I think I’m on season 2 which is like season 7 in normal programs. Hello 14 episodes in one season!!!

    1. It wasn’t even supposed to be a game, really! They’re all true! I was just curious as to which was the most outlandish. #2 sucked but I still don’t even really believe in ghosts, somehow.
      The Doctor telling you to watch The Doctor is.. amazing.

  19. I have a very similar creepy ghost kid story….need to blog about that someday. Ahhh…the date with the French guy sounds wonderful!

  20. I love the first picture of your sister and her husband! Such a fun idea! Also, any date (blind or otherwise) that ends in line dancing is a VERY successful one in my book! I miss you, friend. Hopefully school is done kicking my butt for a few weeks so that I can come back to blogland.

  21. Are you going to write a post on HOW he made that costume? Simply amazing! And as for the jobs…the pizza delivery seems weird, but I remember a post when you wrote about meeting an autistic child delivering pizza….they are all true right?

    Btw…love the upside down photo!

    1. I totally want to write that post. He did take photos of the process I can share, but mainly, I want to know what was going through his head. Like how on earth do you come up with that??
      All the stories are true, yes!!

      Thanks about the upside down photo. She put it on Facebook and it got a lot of likes and that made me happy. Although all of her photos get lots of likes!

  22. Eww, that guy from the adult store was creepy and gross. And #2 was creepy in a very different way! I have had some mildly interesting job stories, but none that really can compare to yours! Although this has inspired me to write a 5 things you might not know about me: the job edition.

  23. Cassidy did an excellent job on his costume! I showed it to Ken and he said, “Is this the guy with the Tardis shed?” There was a hint of jealousy in his voice! And just for the record, I think I had the same scheduling snafu that you did, but it all worked out here too!

    1. I’ll be hosting a blog tour stop, and I thought.. today was the day I had to do a review! Oops! At least I’ll be prepared when it’s actually time.

  24. I really enjoyed the stories…those are always so much fun to read. As freaky as #2 is…I’m totally open-minded and find it completely believable, Tamara. I liked the pizza delivery ones too. Huge “Guardians” fan here and Cassidy’s Groot costume is absolutely off the charts awesome ๐Ÿ™‚

    1. They were both so creepy! I never really think about those stories anymore, luckily, but I had them written down on a post-it of job stories I wanted to one day tell. Guess it was time!

  25. I still can’t get over how amazing your hubby’s costume is. It’s just incredible. I’m not sure what he does for a living but I’m sure there’s a bread and puppet theater that could really use his talent ๐Ÿ™‚

    Uhm, that little boy running story totally made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. FREAKY! I have no idea which one would be the lie, but I’m hoping it’s the one about the creepy dude inside the adult store who asked you to come back anytime.CREEEEEP!

    1. His day job is totally not creative – imagine that one!
      I think he could really do a lot with this talent, though.

      I’m freaked out by the ghost story too! All the stories are true, though. No lies! I was just curious as to which would seem the most outlandish!

  26. #2 is freaky! If I had to pick one that was a lie, I would probably pick that one because I have never really believed is “ghosts” & such. However, I have never seen anything like that either!

  27. Is 2 a lie?!

    Love the costume so much. I am just amazed. He should wear that all over town, even when it’s NOT Halloween.

    1. Not a lie! They’re all true. I’m just hoping it was in my head or something. I don’t know because I’ve never seen ghosts before or after that.

      I think Cassidy should wear that to comic cons!

  28. #3 is the lie, right? Seriously sometimes you answer my questions in your blog without me asking….. I was gonna ask what Cassidy did for work. Now technically I don’t think you answered, but it isn’t make costumes…which he totally should do.

  29. Those five jobs or rather instances during the time you had those jobs – all of them sound pretty incredible
    #1 – asshole, but what could you expect, good thing you had a good boss
    #2 – very freaky, definitely do not want to deal with that kind of stuff – for real
    #3 – you don’t know how often I say something similar – after I hung up the phone…
    #4 – mmmhmmm, juicy ๐Ÿ˜‰
    #5 – agreed – embarrassing
    But, you got through all of them. They are part of you, they formed you – one way or the other, like it or not. Aaaaand, they gave you stories. To tell. Us. Woohoo!

    1. I really love your take on all of this! And I think you’re right about how they shaped me. All of the stories are true, whether number two was just a play on our imaginations or not. The point is that I didn’t make any of these up! I sure am glad I don’t do these jobs anymore, though.

  30. Yay! I love you truth and lies posts! Again, as I always say, I’m so gullible and it’s hard for me to pick which ones are true and which ones aren’t.

    That costume Cassidy did was amazing! I don’t know how he did it, but it was awesome! And your sister looked absolutely gorgeous at her wedding! I can tell you all had a good time at her wedding. She and her husband look so incredibly happy!

    1. Hello! honestly there are no lies in this post! I wanted to make it a truths and lies post, but I didn’t feel like making any up. Number two could’ve had a logical explanation, I hope! I’ve just never been able to imagine what that is.

  31. Ha! I worked at a Pizza Hut when I was in high school, trying to make money for college. I didn’t have to deliver pizzas, but being a waitress there wasn’t so great! I eventually learned all of the shifts and how to open and close…hmm, I should write some of my stories down!

  32. Hmmm. I’ll probably think either 2 or 3 isn’t real. Lol. Number 2 is really freaky!! I guess everybody said so. You have the best job stories!!

  33. I’m in AWE of Groot, Cassidy is an amazing talent. Can I say how much I love the upside down picture of your sister and her groom? It captures their joy in the day more than anything.

  34. I was really hoping #2 was not true. #1 is creepy but #2 is downright scary. But I saw from the comments above that it happened. OMG! I like the story of the French guy Sounds kind of romantic!

    1. All the stories are true, but I always suspected and hoped that maybe number two was just in my head! Didn’t feel like it at the time, though.

  35. Cassidy did an amazing job with the Groot creation! I would guess that #2 would be the lie, but since it’s true…I’m a bit terrified! I’m still trying to figure out what I want to do in my job/career life. I’ll be thirty this month, and I thought I would’ve had it all figured out by now…sigh!

    1. I thought so too. I know people a generation above us who still don’t have it figured out, though!
      As for the stories, I’m hoping there was a logical explanation to number two. I don’t really believe in ghost stories but I remember it well.

  36. Groot looks like a Hollywood, movie level costume. It’s AMAZING! I can see why people were so captivated!! I would have guessed the babysitting story was the lie because CREE-PEE! It’s the perfect story to tell around Halloween, though!! –Lisa

  37. Dickless. That’s so 80s!

    the little boy … woah. And you both saw it! Every time I see something like this … I wish someone could see it too.

    You could write a blog just about old jobs. you know that?

  38. You never called someone dickless…no way. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Can’t believe Doctor Who…of course Missy is who she is (spoilers). It was awesome.

    1. haha!! I did, Liv! I did. I think I left out the “S” but I put it in quotes. John “Dickles” Smith. That way if I did get caught, I could swear that Dickles was a strange middle name.
      I did this!!!

      As for Missy… yes…

  39. If a total stranger were telling me the babysitting story, I would probably think that was a lie..but you’ve shared so many wild stories with your jobs that I don’t second guess anything anymore! Though I’m just glad in story #1 that your boss never let you go back to that store. Creepy!

  40. Hmmm…which one would I think was a lie? Maybe the one about the you mailing the not so nice label to the client. ๐Ÿ™‚ Those are really fun looking wedding photos of your sister and her hubby!

  41. Don’t go to a house without the pizza!!! Lol I’m sure they were just dreaming of pizza! I was a Sonic Car Hop in our small town, and I met some interesting people to say the least!

  42. Haha, I would totally think the pizza delivery gigs were lies, trying to wrap my head around you wearing a Dominoes shirt and it’s just not happening!;-)

    But safe to say you now have your dream job, right?:-)

  43. Ok so I know from the other commenters that they’re all true but I was going to guess the freaky babysitter story as being fake. It’s even freakier knowing that it’s true! And gross to the sex store guy! UGH! Glad your boss didn’t let you go back.

  44. Love this, Tamara. Your photographs always capture the spirit of the moment. The first and third picture are priceless. Cassidy’s costume rocks.

  45. Love Cassidy’s costume. Did you take pictures of him making it? I would love to see how made it and his creative process. Please tell me you didn’t date your boss’s boss and then have a instant messenger issue!

    1. The instant messenger issue was unrelated! It’s just that I used to be on it all day with my friends during work hours.
      I didn’t take pictures of his work process but he did. In my Wednesday post, there is a whole gallery linked.

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