WARNING – This post contains graphic images and language. If you are offended easily, do not read on and this isn’t the blog for you.
Grandpa Ernie’s birthday was yesterday, March 29th. And a quick shout-out to my good friend April who also celebrated a birthday yesterday as well as….HER ENGAGEMENT!! Yay, April and Fred!!!! She loves the Friends penis cake episode!
Back to Ernie. We’re going over his house tonight for a Passover Seder run by his wife/Cassidy’s mom, Ruth. We were asked to bring the dessert. What they don’t know is exactly what we’re bringing for dessert:
Yup. Isn’t it beautiful? This Pumpkin Pudding Penis Cake was lovingly baked and decorated by Cassidy. You may ask why we’re giving Grandpa Ernie a penis cake. It does seem strange, don’t it? Not in this family. Two years ago, my good friend Nora lovingly baked and decorated a chocolate penis cake for my bachelorette party. Pictures were taken. Chocolate penis was consumed. When this story got back to Ernie’s ears, he was overjoyed to hear how we celebrated my impending nuptials. You see, Ernie has himself an excellent sense of humor. Since that party, if my friend Nora is so much as mentioned in passing, Ernie yells, “Where’s my penis cake?!?!” This has happened so much that we decided to do something about it.
The idea came to me over the weekend and I had no idea how I’d have time to procure a penis cake pan by today without ordering one online. Luckily, Northampton has a solution only 1.5 miles from my house:
Amazing.net – Northampton’s answer to your sexual needs. I actually called them up while I was nursing my daughter and I managed to ask if they had penis cake pans in stock without laughing. “Yup.” they said, also without humor. It must have looked interesting to Cassidy to see his wife call up a sex shop while wearing no shirt. This is a classy house.
Minutes later, I was in the “colorful” shop, grateful for their back door. Their front door is right on a main street and I wear a bright fuschia coat and know lots of people in this town. Anyway, the cake is now baked and ready and we can’t wait to see Ernie’s face when he sees it tonight.
Scarlet sort of turned up her nose at the cake. I didn’t realize I was raising a Puritan over here:
However, then she rallied:
We had originally planned to hide the cake in Ruth’s office throughout the Seder and dinner, and then surprise Ernie with it but I couldn’t wait that long. Soon after we got there, I had my camera ready to capture the moment he saw the cake. I think this photo does the moment justice, don’t you?
And, finally – the Happy Penis Couple:
Cassidy’s three younger cousins also shared in the festivities. I don’t usually like being too vulgar in my posts. We all know I have a sick, sick mind but I tend to be careful with Facebook and this blog because I like to write with all ages and beliefs in mind. However, the evening’s best quotes belonged to 8-year-old, Solomon and I couldn’t resist sharing:
“I never thought I’d say this, but cocks taste great!”
“Can I have some more cock without the cream?”
And then on an unrelated but still funny note, we were talking about healthcare reform and he said: “Can I change the subject? This is really boring.” Then he proceeded to think up funny Homer Simpson quotes.
All in all, a great night! Happy Passover, all.