“It’s been one week since you looked at me
Threw your arms in the air
and said “You’re crazy” — Barenaked Ladies
It’s been one week and Desmond still isn’t home yet.
I haven’t been posting about it MAINLY because I haven’t been around my computer for a week. Secondly, yeah, I value our privacy when we’re taking in information and trying to make sense of it and make good decisions. Thirdly, it’s all part of my birth story (now really a birth experience) and I haven’t wanted to give away too many details before posting that.
He is in wonderful shape and is a very healthy boy. About two days after he was born, he showed one or two soft markers of sepsis. This means infection. The complication was that my water broke and I didn’t know it for several hours. I’m sort of astounded that this can happen because I was assured repeatedly by doctors that, “When your water breaks, you know.” Um. No. Not really. So without giving away too much of the detail I’m saving for my long story, I was whisked into labor and into having a baby. During labor I had a slight fever. I get slight fevers when I’m hot or exhausted or stressed. I have since childhood. HOWEVER, with water broken and a slight fever, Desmond was at slightly higher risk for an infection. This is not to be taken lightly because the worst case scenarios are pneumonia or meningitis and that is some serious, serious sh*t. Even at our desire not to use medication that is not needed and nearly a week’s worth of stress and trauma and missing our kid…
I can’t believe it’s for no reason because the alternative is too terrible. I compare it to if Scarlet had one or two signs of strep and I was given a preventative ten day dose of antibiotics and I either refused them or gave them for only five days.
We don’t gamble with our kids’ lives.
Desmond never did get sick. He is a big, hearty, healthy baby. He is peaceful. He is amazing. He is happy. He never cries. He sleeps for six hour stretches overnight. He “smiles” all day long. Can’t wait to actually experience that at home, damnit!!
It’s been a roller coaster ride of hell, as one of the nurses put it. Antibiotics are administered via I.V. and the I.V. has to be in for seven days. So we’re about to complete the full round and we don’t think he ever got sick at all. However, there is a chance that a small infection was there, but nothing big enough to show up on his cultures, because his cultures were all negative. And that chance alone was our reason to be preventative. It’s been a true living hell but we’ll always know how healthy he is because the poor kid was looked over times a million and he’s got some excellently functioning everything!
So I can’t say when because I’m afraid of jinxing things but he will be ours so soon. And then I’ll post a million pictures. I can be with him 24/7 and nurse him and hug him and change him and choose his clothes and when he eats and anything else. It’s just that he has an I.V. in his hand. For some reason, my entire body reacted to the trauma by stepping up to the challenge. Within hours after this crap started, my painful post-birth contractions stopped. I’m not experiencing any pain nursing, and I can pump so much milk that I was told by several nurses to donate some of it because I was lucky to have so much. I’ve already lost pretty much all of the baby weight and I swear I’m eating! I really am! I’m not swollen or breathless or heartburny or in pain or really anything..I stopped using ibuprofen days ago. Fastest healing ever. I had two doctors exclaim over it.
May my heart be so healed…soon.
“Yesterday you just smiled at me
Cause it’ll still be two days till we say we’re sorry”