The other night, I left for a four hour meeting. I knew I wouldn’t see Scarlet again until the next morning so I made sure to give (and get) lots of hugs. She was confused by me leaving the house at night and ran to the window overlooking the driveway to see me off in our ritualistic (daylight) way. Except, she couldn’t see me. There’s no light on that side of the house. She was warm and inside, I was cold and outside. I walked right up and tried to make eye contact. I waved wildly, blew kisses and signed, “I love you.” She looked blankly at me. She looked everywhere around me but not at me. Finally I went right up as close as I could and jumped up and down. A flicker of recognition! She saw something. Her eyes focused on me for just a second and then she lost me again. I jumped again. I shouted her name. I smiled as widely as I could. Finally. She saw my teeth flashing around! (Thanks Crest WhiteStrips) She smiled so widely and waved back. She looked everywhere for me and caught occasional glimpses of my teeth as I tried to communicate with her. Then she lost me again. I went in the car and drove to my meeting.
You’re probably wondering if there’s a point to this story, right? Well, there might be. What initially seemed like a passing cute story in my night stayed with me until today. I’m still thinking about the disorienting feel of it all – being out in the cold and trying to communicate with someone who can’t see or hear you. And just when I thought all hope was lost, she saw me! And she reacted. But it was fleeting. And once it was gone, I couldn’t get it back. She had lost interest. She had turned the other way. And I was left standing there, wondering if she had even seen me at all.
If ghosts exist, is this how they feel when they try to communicate with the living?