So Scarlet went away this weekend to her grandparent’s house, and it is the first time she’s gone away since Des was born. I admit I initially had anxiety about this weekend and I thought it would be a good long while before I’d be ready to let her go again. I was afraid she’d feel replaced or kicked out if we suddenly had a baby and she suddenly had to go away. At only three, these decisions are of course made over her head as we pick out weekends and talk out the details of the weekends. In the past she’s been told a day or two before her trips because otherwise she’d ask us incessantly if it was time yet.
Yesterday I finally told her she was going away today. I asked her how she felt about it.
She asked, “Can I go RIGHT NOW??“
My anxiety about her leaving is gone and now we’re enjoying the rare silence of our home tonight. Des is sound asleep because he can’t hang and he’s usually in bed by 6:00 pm and I know there’s no way on earth I can complain about having a good sleeper for a newborn again, but I’d love to hang out with him one night. Watch a movie or something. Someday.
So it’s just Cassidy and me tonight. Making dinner. Taking pictures of the moon. Plans for dessert. So good. So, so quiet.
I’ve been going through every picture I’ve ever taken of Scarlet this weekend. This is a time-consuming task and I can’t really talk about the project it’s for quite yet because it involves it being published, and not by me, and I don’t want to jinx it. I can’t believe I haven’t looked at these photos earlier. There are so many memories and milestones I’ve forgotten. There is so much joy and humor that I’ve forgotten. I feel pretty good lately, and I’m letting go of a lot of anxiety over Des. He’s such a sturdy baby at 14 pounds and four ounces at ten weeks old. He smiles and coos and attempts to laugh, which at his age, just sounds like the kind of fake laugh someone gives when they’re trying to be polite. It is absolutely adorable.
When I had Scarlet as a newborn, babyhood just felt endless. Not necessarily while we were going through it, but in retrospect I remember feeling like we had so much time ahead of us. I don’t feel that way now. I don’t necessarily think time is flying by, but I also know to savor each new party trick as it may be gone tomorrow. I find Des to be incredibly warm and cuddly and even a little fuzzy, but I am ecstatic at what is coming. At what I’m realizing through photos of Scarlet:
There’s..dressing him for Halloween:
Having a baby during the holidays:
The joys of solid food.
Valentine’s Day. Jumpsuits. Valentine’s Day Jumpsuits.
And so, so much more. Like everything I’ve never experienced with Scarlet that’s still to come. And then Des following in her footsteps, while carving out a life path of his own.
Pretty freakin’ excited right now.
See ya towards the end of the weekend! Great photos to come and maybe a story or two about my first time at Tanglewood.