Today dawned with strange feelings all around. On one hand, we’re excited because we’re throwing a huge Pride/Mother’s Day/Spring celebratory potluck today with several of my baby mama friends. On the other hand, last night felt as if a demon came into our house through an open window and messed things around before leaving. First, the ice machine wasn’t working. Then it got worse from there. Stormy seemed very ill – so ill we didn’t know what to do. It seemed neurological and suddenly her breathing and heart rate were racing and uneven, and she couldn’t remember how to use parts of her body. Then as quickly as it came, it passed. I’m not saying she seems 100% again but it’s definitely worlds better. Then Scarlet who sleeps through the night every night, 7pm – 7am without a peep, cried and screamed a few times. It was around midnight. Maybe she’s…teething? Who the heck knows. It was hard to go to bed with such negativity around, and I was so tired, I fell asleep in a beautiful sundress that I had been trying on just for fun but I was too lazy to change out of it. I woke up once in the middle of the night and I felt very queasy and disoriented. I have a history of nervous stomach middle of the night panics, but they don’t happen much anymore. I suppose it makes sense after the night we had.
This morning I woke up to clouds and humidity and I literally hit every red light on my way to work. I came to work and I’m expecting 3-4 volunteers to show up to help me with a fundraising campaign and no one is here! It’s so eerie. My three co-workers aren’t here either. Is anyone else out there in the world right now?
Despite the strange night, I’m feeling pretty good about tonight. I love neighbors and friends and food. Scarlet will wear a new dress. Speaking of Scarlet, she continues to be more amazing every day. She just cracks up laughing and waving her hands excitedly at random moments. She seems to get high on life constantly. We were watching “Modern Family” before bed and there’s a baby about Scarlet’s age in the show and I commented that Scarlet could never play the role this baby plays. First of all, she’s not adopted from China, but mainly, this baby never does anything. She just sits quietly 100% of her scenes. Scarlet spends 99% of her waking time laughing, shrieking, grunting, blabbering, calling us strange names, getting called strange names, crawling, doing acrobatics, and more. She just never stops. I think we’re in for trouble when she becomes a toddler. I took a few photos of her yesterday that fascinate me. They are a clue to me of what she’ll look like as a little girl. This to me isn’t just a baby:
She’s intense, huh?
This one is all baby: