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Miss Me, Miss Me, Now You Gotta Kiss Me

I have to confess – I have no direction with this post.

Generally they write me or I write them, all in the nick of time. I’m going to start with my 7th grade boyfriend, Chris. I think we’re Facebook friends but I don’t think he reads my blog, but I know I shouldn’t say half of what there is to say about him. He was, for lack of a better term, a dreamboat. And I don’t even mean that in a shallow way, although if you like blonde quarterbacks with intelligent blue eyes, he would have been the guy for you! That said, this was more of an inner thing.

He said pretty amazing things for a 12-year-old. He said he loved Halloween for its atmosphere. Yeah, me too.

He also said, and keep in mind this was a 12-year-old boy from New Jersey, “I don’t know why guys our age act afraid of guys they perceive as gay, as if they’re going to get hit on. It’s like, don’t flatter yourself. Why would he want YOU? Especially if you act like such a jerk.” Seriously. Those were his thoughts in 7th grade! ohmygod, why did we break up? If you must know, he had his friend Bobby break up with me in the school cafeteria. I have no idea why? It was middle school. I’m super odd, as you may know. I take rejection and heartbreak quite badly, and I also don’t experience them as often as the alternative. I can be pretty fierce when I want something, but that’s only when I’m pretty sure I can have it. You know?

(Like a rainbow flag costume for Halloween 2017)

So that’s the direction I took. Only to tell you that I loved what Chris said – about the atmosphere of Halloween. When I was a kid, I lived on a mountain. We attacked trick-or-treating in groups of ones and twos and severals. Groups of siblings and/or friends. Costumes and pillowcases. No pumpkin buckets for us. We were on missions to get as much candy as humanly possible. It was spread out, though – the whole thing like a marathon. Easily a 5K with all that candy sprinting. You could see other people, but they’d be costumed blurs on mountain roads. We had a strict 8pm curfew. Scarlet asked me last night what I was for Halloween when I was her age. “A California Raisin!” I said. She could not stop laughing. I wish I had the picture to prove it, because it was a real thing back then. Mom, do you have it somewhere? It was magical. I have this:

As you can see, some things never change:

Unless you’re talking about getting dumped in the school cafeteria. That only happened one time, and it wasn’t as bad as a Post-It Note left on a computer screen, but that is only a fictional story to tell. As deep as Chris was, I think I got over him in a day because I was 13 and although I was capable of intense feelings back then, I took a break from them in middle school because my eye was only on ONE prize. And you know what? He kissed me. It happened 24 years later, but he kissed me.

(It was Tim Curry. He kissed my hand. I haven’t washed it since..kidding!)

And how priceless is that?

I went off track again, so I’m steering myself back onto the Halloween train. When I was a kid watching Halloween movies, it was all about the atmosphere, yes, but there was that certain something at night. It was trick-or-treating in CROWDS of amazingly dressed people. I thought that only happened in movies, like Hocus Pocus. Bumping shoulders with Frankenstein. Standing in line for candy. I had a charmingly interesting childhood, but I didn’t have that. Until now. In Northampton.

It’s all a wonderful blur. The crowded streets of downtown Northampton trick-or-treating. Then downtown Florence for the Rag Shag Parade. Walking with friends, looking for friends, laughing with friends. Then there’s the house trick-or-treating – right out of a movie. It’s amazing how many amazing people I see, and how I see so many strangers every year. Will I ever know everyone in this city? Probably not, and that’s ok. So much to unfold and discover – like a great book that’s still being written. We’re writing it, and I think we’re doing a good job. I remember every face I saw, masked or not. I always will.

What’s priceless about Halloween is that feeling and that magic and that atmosphere. It’s bumping shoulders with Frankenstein, and lining up for candy. It’s running into smiling friends and clients, and friend clients. Client friends? Was it the chicken or the egg? What’s priceless about Halloween are the memories – still strong after 30+ years – and the fact that I get to help build them for two littles. It’s the fact that I said to my kids, “All of this? Not every dad becomes Iron Man for a day and not every place on earth is this charmed. So you better love it! And give me some of your Snickers bars!”

It’s only one night. Four costumes and a lot of preparation. More money than I care to admit, and just as much time too.


This is me linking up, as one of my favorite things to do, with Finish The Sentence Friday. This week’s topic is “What’s priceless about..” And there’s still time to write yours. Come link up with your spin on any of the matters: HERE.

P.S. From about 2nd grade until 10th grade, it was all about boys/men named Tim or Chris. I have about three of each. Some kissed me and some missed me, but hey, that’s life. As long as I never get dumped in the school cafeteria again.

How was your Halloween?

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  1. Halloween is always so fun and I love your costumes over the years! Quite honestly I pretty much never dress up and focus all of my energy on the kiddos. Maybe one day I’ll do it!

  2. Oooh, you got kissed by Chris…12 years later! I want to hear more about THAT. Still, your costumes are amazing!! love your Halloween atmosphere, Tamara! So much fun. I’m afraid I’ve lost a bit of the Hollow’s eve spirit. 🙁 Maybe next year.

  3. I can’t believe that he had his friend break up with you, but I guess that’s what happens when you’re not quite grown up, although I’ve heard some grownups do that do. Halloween is such an amazing time, it’s the time the kids get to dress up and pretend, and don’t forget the candy.

  4. You all ROCK the Halloween costumes, always. I love your rainbow flag (which I think I said on Facebook, and if I didn’t, I meant to because so awesome and creative). We have sister hearts about Halloween. I love it so so much, and Tucker does, too. Our neighborhood is really great with it -everybody dresses up, families put out fire pits in the streets, maybe it’s a little bit like your town.
    And yikes to Chris. He sounds amazing with thoughts like that at 12 but yuck to having a buddy break up with you in the cafeteria! Tucker recently told me that he thinks it’s dumb that some boys don’t respect girls because all of them come from a woman’s body. I love that (and what Chris said reminded me of that).

  5. I think 7th grade is when we all start getting our hearts broken. I’m not sure when it hurts the most. Perhaps it varies with the individual. I know when the worst ones hit me, so far. I don’t know whether I want to find out if it gets worse or not. The higher the high the greater the fall I’m guessing.

  6. Aw, Hocus Pocus. I hope your Halloween was somewhat like that, but maybe minus the ghosts wanting little children. There is so much about Halloween, for kids and those who can think like kids alike.

  7. I wish I was more into the Halloween spirit as a parent. I used to love getting dressed up myself, and I would plan my costume out for months even in my early 20s. I’m hoping not being super pregnant next year will make it easier (though in reality, with a baby, it probably won’t). I should just start planning my family costume now!

  8. Tamara, you and your Iron-man amaze me with all the magic you create for your family, your souls, and us. I was (and always am) just so MOVED by how you manage to unfold the wonder – the WONDER of it all- the feel and excitement of Halloween, the memories of middle school love and break ups and deep thoughts around it all.

    I can’t believe you can just roll these posts off the tip of your tapping fingers so beautifully and brilliantly.

    Girl, you are SO gifted. ALL your gifts are on FIRE – and I feel so privileged to soak in your words and adorable/amazing/beautiful photos here.

    Thanks for allowing us into your amazing world. <3

  9. 7th Grade? That, not sure if the organization structure remains the same, was, back in the day, the first year of Junior High School. Two words for Junior High School: ‘ayiieee’
    Granted I hail from Y Chromia and as a result there is a certain degree difference in my perspective… but those years in growing up? when I’m feeling extra clever, I say that I attended William Golding Junior High and let it go at that…lol

    I always enjoy reading remembrances of growing up, written by those who never quite do… there’s an instant camaraderie, like war veterans, bent by age, encountering an equally bent person who, by the fact of their being alive brings it all back, in a way that research and interviews and whatever else a person might do to convey a time of life that they did not personally experience can never achieve.

    fun FTSF

    ok…one movie recommendation and then I’m off. (for reasons inherent in the Wakefield Doctrine), I suspect you’ve already seen and enjoyed it.

    ‘Pleasantville’ written and directed by Gary Ross, with Tobey Maguire, Reese Witherspoon, Jeff Daniels… great movie.

  10. OMG my first boyfriend was Chris and dumped me too after 4 months when I was in 8th grade. It took me a year to get over it LOL! I too love all the neighborhood memories of Halloweens past with such a fondness. I love seeing all the people in costumes still! You and Cassidy look awesome!

  11. The gorilla/man costume!! LOL! I’ve gotta find out who this Tim Curry is because this is not the first time recently that you’ve mentioned him. Side note, when i was 12, I had never even heard of gay. I didn’t know what that meant until 10th grade–which I learned from my avid reading of Seventeen magazine. Ha!

  12. I just LOVE your costume! It’s gorgeous. All these costumes are fabulous.

    And Tim Curry is the best. We just saw him in It!

  13. I loved reading you memories and stories of exes and breakups in cafeterias. That part I didn’t like but seemed you bounced back very well from the ordeal. How mature for a young boy from Jersey (no offense to Jersey, but ya know)…

    I love that you have created such magical moments for your kids and that you guys go all out with Halloween prep <3 your rainbow flag costume is seriously the best 🙂


  14. Your family always amazes me. We are officially now Halloween duds! Our neighbors had a big party a few weeks before Halloween and we didn’t go, because we had to have a costume. Lame:)! And this year, I only want trick or treating with Cam and Bear…it was sad…

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