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Little Scarlet-isms.

Some of you may have read this on Facebook, but I wasn’t having the greatest day, energy-wise, today. It didn’t start right. Sometimes mornings that don’t start right never really get the rhythm or momentum going – this was one of those days. The truth is – I’m in pre, pre, pre labor. Nothing to be alarmed about and nothing to call a doctor about. I’m just listening to my body. I don’t have much more time. And I might very well still have another month, which is what I mean by pre, pre, pre labor. I’m not in the kind of denial that I won’t last 40-41 weeks. However, I also know it could be earlier. Very possibly.

I woke up not feeling right. That just happens to me during these last weeks. It did last time. You can’t put your finger on it and it often doesn’t last. I could wake up tomorrow feeling like I could run a marathon. Today wasn’t one of those days. I woke up at the tail end of the extended pollen season. My fingers were slightly achy. My hips didn’t feel right. Above all of it is the fear I’ll go into labor soon. Above all of it is also the fear that I won’t go into labor for another month and I’ll have to feel like this more often! It really could go either way. Afraid of both outcomes. Lovely.

I gave Scarlet two breakfasts because she was exceptionally hungry today. I wasn’t sure how we were going to leave the house today. I told her I was feeling very tired and achy. She told me I should go lie down in bed. I told her that was a great idea. She followed me and got a laundry basket so that she could get up on our very high bed herself. I was too tired to marvel at that first for me. She told me to lay down and roll over so she could pat my back and sing. She sang a variety of strange songs she must have learned at daycare. I really did fall asleep, probably only for 5-10 minutes, but still. I woke up and she had gone off the bed and gathered about 20 stuffed animals and was one by one patting their backs and singing them all to sleep. It was one of the most fantastic things I’ve ever seen. Those 5-10 minutes of healing sleep energized me.

I never did feel quite right again. I was waiting on tense baby news from a few friends. The humidity outside frightened me.

I hung out by myself a lot, listening to her have full conversations with her dolls. I was on a phone call and didn’t watch her for five minutes or so. This can be very scary. I got off the phone and heard her say, “I did it!” “Did, what?” I yelled back, afraid to hear the answer. “I peed all by myself!” I ran downstairs and sure enough she had turned a laundry basket upside down, pulled down her pants, climbed onto the toilet, used it, wiped, climbed back down and pulled up her pants. She even figured out how to turn on the faucet to wash her hands. I’m astounded. Not exactly a Facebook conversation, but so note-worthy. It’s these little miracles that happen whether I turn my back or not. She’s turning fast into a kid. Goodbye, Toddler.

When Cassidy was home later and combing her hair after her bath, which is never an easy feat, she said to him, “You’re a great person.”

Her brother is not the only one growing at rapid speed. The two of them are growing so fast, it’s leaving me achy and in the dust. Yet I’m secretly thrilled at all that I have to discover, not only in years of life, but in the next few weeks! Miracles.

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One Comment

  1. My nephew is turning three and I'll see him Sunday. Sometimes they grow so much from one day to the next; I can't wait to see the little man he's turning into!And Cassidy is a great person…good observation, Scarlet!

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