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I’ve Been Down.

Last week ended with a dentist appointment. This week started with an hour long doctor appointment where I had to have my ear irrigated. And this was after sharp instruments entered my ear. You may know that I’m ear-phobic. I’ve never been able to give myself ear drops because I could never control anything going into my ears by my hands. I had a lot of ear infections as a kid. I haven’t had one in over 25 years but the fear lives on. I guess, until now. I didn’t complain much. I don’t care much about pain or discomfort. I don’t mind needles and blood tests and vaccines. I think that happens after you give birth but I’m not sure how long the fearlessness lasts. I think giving birth a second time would be as scary as the first.

Wow, I went there again, didn’t I? I only started this post to talk about my foul mood and ear discomfort. I always go there.

And not to mention, our brakes hadn’t been working well and they made loud, screeching and grinding noises whenever we stopped. It wasn’t good. It was really embarrassing in public. I think people have started to know me as “Loud Brakes Girl.” I’m thinking I may have to start stripping or delivering pizza or driving an ice cream truck in order to get more money. Scarlet could potentially grow up from the passenger seat of an ice cream truck. And then that would solve our having one car problem. I could easily be known around town as “Ice Cream Truck Girl.” Or “Ice Cream Truck Lady Who’s Raising Her Daughter In the Back of a Truck.” But then, what would we do all winter? I suppose in the winter we could convert our ice cream truck into a hot, greasy breakfast food truck. Will you look at that? I’ve got it all figured out!

Except that I don’t. It started to scare me lately to think that things are never going to change. Please know that this mood is highly subject to change. And things will change, god help us all. It’s just that when tornadoes are striking western Mass and making our clean and clear skies look green and yellow. When brakes are screeching on the one car we have, shifting my original fear of how to cope with only one car to thinking about how to keep even one car. When I’m feeling physical discomfort because I’m allergic to…outdoors life. It’s hard to see past all of this. I imagine that one day I will laugh about how we used to struggle and how I used to raid the quarter jar just to be able to buy myself a maple chocolate chip cookie from the Tuesday Farmer’s Market. Sure, maybe one day it will be funny and I’ll joke about how I used to think I’d have to be a stripper or ice cream/hot breakfast truck driver in order to survive.

Oh wait. I already joke about that. At least some things aren’t beyond humor.

Did I mention that the car was supposed to be fixed on Wednesday but the mechanic never came to pick it up? And I brought it to Starbucks because desperate times call for desperate measures and it died right there in the parking lot, of the hottest day so far this year. And Scarlet was going insane and I don’t know anything about jumpstarting a car…Thank god for good neighbors.

On the Scarlet front, she continues to be both amazing and obnoxious. I guess that’s the tagline for approaching two-year-olds. Sometimes I wonder how anyone survives toddlerhood and then she beams at me and gently asks me, “Are you ok, Mama?” and it’s just really hard to stay mad. She’s also really cute.

How can you stay mad at this?? Gold beads with bathing suits? To die for.

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And so we go on. And really, bad weeks only last a week. That’s the good thing about bad weeks.

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2 Comments

  1. When I look at my home page of Facebook, it seems like EVERYBODY had a rough week. Winds of change….week-end fun……hoping you have a rocking week-end with great photos and stories to look at on Sunday night!

  2. I am in worshipful awe of your photography. Stunning. Beautiful. What a blessed talent – means you get to capture so many precious moments with your children that would otherwise be lost in the muddle and mists of 'bad weeks'.

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