Anytime my world gets crazy
All I have to do to calm it
Is just think of you
It’s when I think of you, baby
Nothing else seems to matter
It’s when I think of you, baby
All I think about is our love”
And honestly, it all blends together – the days and the viruses and the suns and moons and where they all meet. We’ve definitely been battling some illnesses in this house for several weeks, but Rider took a turn for the worst last weekend and had to go to the pediatrician on their Saturday sick hours. They didn’t really find anything wrong, except for a cough and low grade fever, so we figured it was a run of the mill virus and went home. It only got worse from there, with three days of coughing until barfing and pretty high fevers. The pediatrician sick hours were 100% full, which is unsettling to think about, so we had to take him to urgent care. There, they triple-swabbed him for flu, COVID, and RSV, but told us the labs were backed up and we might not get results until after the holiday! Not to mention that I’m sick, and Scarlet is too!
And so, Monday began with a five person sick day. On Tuesday, Scarlet and Des went back to school. On Wednesday, Rider was so sick that he went to urgent care. My parents still came, because through all of it, we were pretty sure it wasn’t COVID. That was nice and helpful having extra hands with the baby while I was in the thick of it. On Thursday, Rider still had a fever of 100-101 so we decided that Cassidy would go to his mom’s house early to help with the turkey, and then my parents would go up with Cassidy’s dad and our two older kids. I’d share some quiet time with both babies, and then bring Sawyer up, switch Rider to Cassidy’s car, and then Cassidy would take him home and I’d get some time at the house. As it turned out, instead, Rider turned a temporary corner and had a little Thanksgiving feast and family time with all of us. Then, the coughing started, and Cassidy took him home for medicine and bed while we finished out the night. Sawyer had more pie than any of us, I should think. It was impressive.
Today dawned cold and gloomy. Scarlet still felt sick. I still felt sick. Rider still felt sick. My kids really wanted my parents to come with us to get our Christmas tree, and they weren’t feeling it. So they went home and we piled into the car to get a tree about 20-25 minutes away, just to find a tree that’s 12 feet or higher. On the way there, we got the news (I already suspected) that Rider tested positive for RSV. So we had to tell anyone we came into contact with, although generally it’s scarier for young ones. We got to the tree lot, the dark clouds parted right then and there (I saw blue sky!) and we got a GORGEOUS tree. We could have waited until tomorrow to get 15 feet or higher ones, but this one is the one. Today is the day. Rider seems a little better right now. His temperature isn’t too high and I haven’t heard incessant coughing today. He actually ate some dinner. It’s been dreadful seeing him so sick and for so long, but he will turn that corner soon. Viruses end, the sun comes out, and we delight in the Christmas lights and the pellet stove.
I missed the part where everyone talked about what they’re thankful for but I was asked to speak later in the night. So I talked about how this has been the most challenging year for me, mental health wise, EVER, and that this postpartum period may have been the closest one to kill me. No exaggeration. What I’ve learned, from losing parts of myself, is that I’m thankful for the generation above mine, for showing me how I want to be down the line. And I’m thankful for the generation below mine, for reminding me who I am. Reminding me who I want to be. Again.
When I think of you