It’s because it’s always been a time of such birth and death. Everything happens in the fall too, as well as the spring and winter, because everything happens to everyone at all times, and sometimes all at once. I keep notes in my Notes app in my phone and for years I’ve been trying to express something about fall. Memories and stories. How can I tell you what the chill in the air means to me, and all of the sensation and trepidation? I’m no stranger to the warm and cold comforts. My god, do I love flannel shirts, crisp leaves, hot pumpkin coffee, and warm autumn stew. I love the way fall reminds me of childhood – of ill-fitting striped sweatshirts and weekends at home. Soccer games and my mom’s chili simmering evenly on the stove.
I love how it sends you to the future as well. Thinking of your children, and your children’s children trick-or-treating with glee. Thanksgiving tables warming cold November hearts. Thinking of open doors and open arms. Yes. Now isn’t that nice?
The truth is, though, that it keeps me in the present too. Too much sensory goodness. The endless photo shoots and how I pay particular attention to the foliage, the sunset times, and the turning of the earth around the sun. In fall, I swear I can feel it tilting – softly, swiftly, endlessly. In fall I do cool things. It leads to winter, so no one ever realizes just how much I love it. I love summer and I hate winter. Fall should be a transitioning disappointment, or a disappointing transition. Really it’s that pinnacle of change – where the past, present and future meet. Fall is picking up the pieces that summer scattered.
Finish the Sentence Friday’s theme this week is “10 Things About the Changing of the Seasons” and I almost made a list of 10 things I love about the change into fall – like wood-burning smoke and TV premieres – but somewhere along the line it wrote itself differently. Instead, I’m sharing 10 brave/cool/life-changing/soul-shaking things I’ve done in the autumns of my life.
1 – I re-met Cassidy in the fall! We had been apart for two somewhat-horrific years and we had plans to go to Yosemite together and figure out our feelings. We couldn’t wait until early October, though! He flew in for a business trip and I arranged to meet him at JFK Airport, just like where we had met in 2004. There was a bomb scare and he was stuck on his plane. I was pacing the parking lot like a wild tiger. Suddenly, but finally, he was in front of me! He threw his suitcase and lifted me into the air! We drove through NYC streets with the lights swirling. We got into his hotel and heard “Layla.”
2 – Hey, a year ago this week we started the renovation of our house! That’s a big deal! I remember taking a sledgehammer to the wall myself. No regrets there. I can’t wait to see what kinds of magic we’ll bring to this house next.
3 – Speaking of which, we moved here in the fall! It was the year of the Halloween blizzard! So yes, we lost power on our second night here, but hey. Also, I was six weeks pregnant with Des at the time and not feeling my best.
4 – Speaking of which again, I discovered two pregnancies in the fall – one in October (early on) and one in November (already six weeks along). I did two first trimesters in the fall! I’m a freaking warrior, I should say!
5 – I went to Yellowstone in the fall, twice. Forever haunted by the beauty of that place and the things I saw – both at dawn and dusk. Animals straight from Japanese anime films. Gorges and cliffs and boiling geysers and snow on red peacoats, when only the previously day, we were in swimsuits. Take me back to Yellowstone and Grand Tetons. Please please please.
6 – We left San Francisco in the fall. (Who does that?) We also went back to visit a year later, in the fall.
7 – We went to Yosemite in the fall. How could I forget those winding roads, chilly nights, shooting stars, tiny churches, grand, sweeping cliffs, smell of woodsmoke and bacon, warm cabin, thick blanket, and more, with a pumpkin latte in hand?
8 – I met my future in-laws in the fall! Here’s the kicker – they weren’t my in-laws or even my future in-laws. I was broken up with Cassidy for good, I thought, but I didn’t want to be robbed of meeting them too! I know it’s crazy but my mom and I drove up there with vanilla spice lattes, getting fabulously lost in CT, and arriving late at night. They didn’t think it was weird that we went to see them, even with the broken hearts and Cassidy with a new girlfriend. Who knew, my friends?! Also, we got Chicken Fries from Burger King on the way home, listened to “Mandolin Rain”, and my mom let me drive/cry.
9 – We took the kids to see their first moose in the fall. It’s actually the best time to see them because their antlers are so big, before they shed them in the winter. I really, really, really want to go back. Like right now. Tomorrow?
10 – When I was 10 or so, I got this brilliant idea to go trick-or-treating a week after Halloween. My reasoning was that people still had candy they were itching to get rid of to punk kids. We got a ton of candy. We had to give it back and apologize to our neighbors, of course, but that embarrassing moment was worth it. I was enterprising, wasn’t I?
I never thought it would ever go”
This is me linking up, as one of my favorite things to do, with Finish The Sentence Friday. This week’s topic is “10 things about the changing of the seasons..” And there’s still time to write yours. Come link up with your spin: HERE.
So cute, trick-or-treating a week later. I’m jealous that you got to see Yellowstone and Yosemite in the fall, iveI only seen them in the summer ( or perhaps, technutechn the spring). My favorite line, “Fall is picking up the pieces that summer scattered.” Wow! That one made me pause. So true!
My favorite line too! “Fall is picking up the pieces that summer scattered.” Very poetic. Wow to the Halloween blizzard and not having power the second night in your new house. I laughed out loud and #10. That was genius. I hope you got to eat some of it before you had to give yourself up and turn it in with an apology. I love you fall memories.
I like your spin on this! I met my hubby in fall – the weekend after Labor Day weekend in September 1996. I also found out I was pregnant in fall the first time & the third time. 🙂
When I think about it, it’s true, I’ve taken some of my best trips in the fall. Probably because a lot of major medical meetings take place then, and I often combined that travel with an additional trip.
Too much has happened to me in the fall. But probably the biggest, most life changing event was having my youngest two days before Thanksgiving. Talk about a Turkey baby and best Thanksgiving ever by far! But seriously, loved your list and made me excited for the fall even though I am a bit torn with summer ending still! 😉
I found out I was pregnant in the fall, too! And we bought our home in Virginia in the fall. Aw. And OMG brilliance to going trick-or-treating a week after Halloween. Makes total sense that people’d want to get rid of candy!!!
Fall is such a beautiful season! I love watching the leaves change and going apple and pumpkin picking 🙂
Fall is my favorite season too, and I love your very clever “picking up the pieces …” Great pictures Tamara! Scarlet really captures the colorful spirit of the autimn leaves so cheerfully, and l could truly feel your glow shining through every sentence.
You have shared such great photos!
I have many special “fall memories” too–marriage, first child’s birth, and finding out I was pregnant with our second child.
Your reasoning for going trick or treating a week later made me laugh. Of course they wanted to get rid of all that extra candy! How embarrassing it must have been for you to go back and return it.
Fall is my absolute favorite. I never thought of all the different things that have happened in the falls of yesteryear, but perhaps that adds to my love for it. And here’s what makes me weird: I hate summer. Always have. I can’t function with the heat and the no structure. I like school years and normalcy. I NEED it. And also, I burn and freckle in the sun. Okay… I”ll stop spreading my summer negativity… The story of meeting Cassidy’s parents while you were broken up–sadness!! So happy you got back together.
The Halloween Blizzard! Once I will never forget! I love your fall memories (and I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the first photo!)
Ah, such a beautiful read, Tamara! I always love reading these posts from you- I find myself smiling and nodding and sighing through your poetic and intimate descriptions of your life. All your falls, your incredible experiences that have molded you and your family into such a gorgeous rich layered landscape to view. Thank you for sharing the depths and beauty of it all with us. It’s a gift.
I adore FALL and now I have to go back and really think about all of the life events that happened to me in the fall that make me love it that much more! <3
Love the photos of Yosemite and Yellowstone. I have not been to either place but would like to one day! I am excited for fall too, but the heat reminds me that it is still summer for a little while longer. As much as I enjoy a new season, it is always a little sad to know that the last one is over.
You’ve been to some magical places! I need to check them out for sure. And it seems like so much has happened to you in the fall. I just love the fall.
Sometimes I feel like fall is such a tease. Perfect temperatures, clean fresh air, beautiful leaves…then winter comes rolling in so fast! I’ll be completely honest I am SO HAPPY FALL IS HERE. For obvious reasons 😉
As always, I so enjoy your link-up writing, Tamara. I like the way it flows. My falls are not as epic as yours but my kids were both born in October (exactly two years apart) plus, my birthday is also a fall event. This time of year still reminds me of back to school. I definitely begin to feel the grasping onto the sunshine like it’s the last I’ll see of it for months. The blue skies and sunsets are not to be taken for granted these days. Thanks for sharing your seasonal musings with your lovely photos!
K I’ll try this again. Not sure where my comment went. But what I wanted to say is how beautiful your seasonal musing is. Fall is an epic time for you! Me? Not so much with the exception of birthdays. My two children are both October babies and I look forward to that celebration. September will forever say “back to school” even tho those days are long gone for me.
Hi Tamara, you have a a wonderful amount of positive fall memories. I bet your house is going to be perfect when it’s finished and I can imagine your excitment as you took your children to see their first moose. Yellowstone looks stunning in it’s fall colours too.
xx
That is a lot of Fall activity. Is the house all done now? I want to take a sledgehammer to a wall. I don’t think the hubs would approve though 🙂
Fall clearly is your season, my dear! It’s full of colorful and lasting memories. You need to write a book about them!