Into The Dark Months

This is me linking up with Finish The Sentence Friday. This week's topic is: As the Days Grow Darker, and there's still time to write yours. The Dark Months

Halloween felt different to me this year.

It had the usual pre-holiday excitement and decorations and costume planning. On Halloween itself, I couldn’t seem to wipe a smile off my face to save my life. It was all in the way the town comes together. It’s the political messages carved on pumpkins – subtle but there. It’s the way Des walked in his velociraptor costume. I had that existential feeling I know and loathe so well. Instead of enjoying the now, I couldn’t help but think about how fast he’s growing. When he puts his arms around me every night at bedtime and says that he loves me forever and ever and ever, I know that he always will but it won’t always be the same. The dinosaur waddle will give way to something else, the way the two-year-old prance has left us permanently. I still see snippets of it in the cobwebs of memories. Faded, yes, but never really gone. Different. Growing.



It all came to somewhat of a crashing halt the week of Halloween. For one, I was underwater with work. I mean really in the weeds – and almost drowning. So much opportunity and learning. For another, Astro got a viral infection and healed, but he seems to have a congenital front leg problem that we thought he’d grow out of – and it’s only gotten worse. So off to an orthopedic surgeon this morning, and then I’m straight to Boston for an intense work event. Sometimes it’s hard to breathe.

I just want to stop for a minute but know I can’t – trapped by my own stringent work ethics – and truly loving what I do.

Into the dark months and into the dark. Sometimes, often, it’s nearly impossible to make sense of this world. My kids – still young and innocent enough – to dream and breathe and believe and dinosaur waddle. It’s changing, though. Scarlet finished Harry Potter book 6, and that’s a whole other loss of innocence. The news is on and blaring and I don’t know how they aren’t hearing about this world. With demons crawling out of the darkest depths of our imagination. No, though. I never imagined this. We never imagined this. And if you did, and you still think it’s ok and progressing, there’s something you’re not admitting or seeing or dreaming and breathing and believing and dinosaur waddling. And that describes me too today.

A fire going out; an image disappearing. I feel powerless and helpless in the face of what I never imagined, and never would.

This is me linking up with Finish The Sentence Friday. This week's topic is: As the Days Grow Darker, and there's still time to write yours. The Dark Months

And that is where the gift lies. That we can’t imagine this. That we never could. How could we possibly fathom this? We’re made of better and stronger stuff. It’s the fire and the magic and the dreaming and breathing and believing and dinosaur waddling. It’s in the darkness being greater than our imaginations, because our imaginations are made of cotton candy and bridges and growth. Progress and kindness and tolerance. Our imaginations are made to soar, and to know that you’re ONLY comfortable enough in your own skin, your own heart, your own dinosaur waddle, your own religion, your own race, your own identity – ONLY if you want the same for all. If you can understand that another person’s rights don’t actually take away your own, and if you learn to fight and stand and think and dream and believe. It never pays to show your own pain and emptiness by hurting others or keeping and VOTING them down. Lift others up as you truly want and need to be lifted.

This is me linking up with Finish The Sentence Friday. This week's topic is: As the Days Grow Darker, and there's still time to write yours. The Dark Months

Into the dark months we go, and into the darkness – where your only choice is to find light. And that is why I not-so-secretly love this time of year. There’s nowhere to look but up and ahead and right in front of your face – in dazzling lights and promise. In hope and pain and choices. We have to make important choices right now, while we still can make choices.

Will you choose the side of light? And will you pass it around?

This is me linking up with Finish The Sentence Friday. This week's topic is: As the Days Grow Darker, and there's still time to write yours. The Dark Months

This is me linking up with Finish The Sentence Friday. This week's topic is: As the Days Grow Darker, and there's still time to write yours. The Dark Months

This is me linking up with Finish The Sentence Friday. This week's topic is: As the Days Grow Darker, and there's still time to write yours. The Dark Months

This is me linking up, as one of my favorite things to do, with Finish The Sentence Friday. This week’s topic is “As the Days Grow Darker..” and there’s still time to write yours. Come link up with your spin: HERE. I don’t know about you but I TOTALLY meant to write about something else, and then this post sort of hiccuped onto my screen and I just ran with it.

What would you say?

About Tamara

Tamara is a professional photographer, a mama of two, a Lifestyle Blogger/Social Media Influencer/Brand Ambassador, and a nearly professional cookie taster. She has been known to be all four of those things at all hours of the day and night. She is a very proud contributor to the book, The Mother Of All Meltdowns, the Stigma Fighters Anthology (volume 1), and The HerStories Project: So Glad They Told Me. She is also a proud Community Lead and a regular contributor to the SoFab Food blog, and the Target Made Me Do It blog. After two cross country moves, due to her intense Bi-Coastal Disorder, she lives with her husband, daughter, son, dog, cat, and 11 chickens in glorious western Massachusetts.

Comments

Into The Dark Months — 14 Comments

  1. We are indeed heading into the dark months. But right now I am just a bit excited that Christmas at Disney is only 2 weeks away. Seriously that is me hanging onto all the light right now. Plus, I admit I am a sucker for the holidays in general. Come back to me in January though as that is when the darkness. winter and cold usually hits me for sure.

  2. “There’s nowhere to look but up and ahead and right in front of your face – in dazzling lights and promise. In hope and pain and choices. We have to make important choices right now, while we still can make choices.” I feel you on this, Tamara. “While we still can make choices.” Lord help us! More light, less darkness.

  3. Your hiccups echoes what a lot of us a feeling as we approach this mid-term election. BUT enough about that. I love you guys in your coats. I know you posted a picture of you in yours and said the kids got one too. I’d want the color Scarlet is wearing because it matches my sneakers. You all look great in your Halloween costumes. How were you able to post a video that wasn’t linked to youtube? I think I would have shared more videos over the years if they didn’t have to be on youtube.

  4. We may be heading into the dark months, but they can wait a while longer. Right now you’re enjoying the Autumn Blaze of colors, and we are too in NJ. What a picturesque scene of Des walking towards your house perhaps on his way home from school. Great pics of Scarlet and Des in their costumes, the inside of your beautiful home, and the short video of Cassidy, Scarlet and Des. I see so much of you Tamara in that photo of smiling Scarlet, and scarlet truly is her color!

  5. Here’s to VOTING next week. To the dark becoming light-ish, to not having to fathom how we got HERE. As always, your photos are gorgeous. Cassidy WINS Halloween costumes forever but I love your moose mask, and Des and Scarlet are perfect. Sorry about Astro’s leg/hip but I know you’ll get it worked out. Cheers to dinosaur waddling, and dreaming, and powering through. BTW, Tucker wanted the inflatable dinosaur costume, but it was sold out at Party City and when I went to order it online, it wouldn’t have gotten here in time. I’m so glad ya’ll got yours!

  6. We all have to use our light and our compassion and our common sense to move forward and banish the darkness. Love this post, and love your Halloween photos! Have a great weekend!

  7. “If you can understand that another person’s rights don’t actually take away your own,” – That’s it, right there! Why can’t people understand that? That is all anyone needs to understand. The darkness? It gets darker every day it seems and I am exhausted. Sad and exhausted, but not too exhausted to give up.
    On a lighter note….. The dinosaur! Perfect! Glad the “walk” video was included.

  8. I still see dinosaur waddles, with Des and in humanity and I hope to always live in a world where they exist. Making sense of senseless acts is hitting me hard, maybe harder because of the darkness and this time of year in particular. I’m sorry that life is a muddled mess of work and life responsibilities and hope that things calm enough just so you can get your head above water. But the pictures of the littles in their costumes—they make my heart soar. And you as a moose. You are perfection.

    Also I look for Cassody’s face and I can’t see it. Tamara, are you sure that’s your husband?? 🤣

  9. I know what you mean about the world. So many terrible things lately. I am hoping that their will be light soon. Always choose light and kindness. Loved your Halloween photos!!

  10. Oh my goodness, I am loving all these photos. Scarlet’s hair looks SO PRETTY like that! I saw someone wearing the tan t-rex costume on Halloween… pretty sure it was a parent because I only saw him out in the street. He looked HUGE walking out there, what fun! I honestly struggle with the dark months. I’m thinking about getting one of those lights to get me through…

  11. You guys really did Halloween 🙂 Ours was rough, but we pulled it together…. More coming on that.

    You also need to come visit, eternal sunshine here!

  12. How apt. Into the dark we go and that’s where the monsters lurk. Love your Halloween photos and the video clip! The costumes are adorable. I like how you embrace the darkness in spite of its mystery. I’m really feeling the darkness since the time change and the evenings are so much longer. I have to get used to it 😛

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