Christmas has been hard to get into my heart this year.
There are no outward reasons, and nothing terrible has happened. Maybe it snuck up on me too fast. Maybe the money I was going to make for this year’s gifts didn’t hit my bank account fast enough to relish in it. Maybe I do feel it, intensely, as I feel all things but it’s not always obvious to me. One of my mothers-in-law took us to see “Twas The Night Before Christmas” on Friday, and I may have had to wipe away a tear or two during “Joy To The World.” That shows feeling to me. Delayed, but heavy.
Then late last night, when I was up too late and watching a Christmas movie with James Van Der Beek, and I was astounded to notice that he’s grown into a very handsome man, I got choked up during a scene with a Salvation Army Santa ringing his lonely bell on a nighttime street. And I know that it’s there. I just wish I had more time. More than three days to feel these feelings.
Every now and then, I feel like time is slipping through my fingers too fast. I’m lucky enough not to feel it often. Usually I feel that my kid time is concentrated and overwhelming (but in a good way) and long-lasting. I felt like Scarlet’s first year of life was eons. I felt like Des’ first three months were a decade. When people said, “Enjoy this time – it goes too fast.” I decided that they might be insane, or debbie-downers, because those times never felt like they were going too fast. They were long and luxurious.
And probably meant to be missed when they’re gone. Otherwise, what’s the point?
This Christmas season went by too fast for me. In that way in which I should have taken the advice of everyone I thought was a naysayer, who told me to enjoy the time – it goes too fast. Yes, you were right this time, naysayers. Luckily, I plan to stick around for a ton of holiday seasons and I’ll make sure to enjoy each one fully. And for now, I’m going to enjoy the you-know-what out of these next few days. I’m talking 24/7 Christmas music, Christmas cookies, and lots of Santa-talk in our house.
And photos, of course.
This was our house during last weekend’s snowfall. I ran outside to capture a photo because I thought it looked so welcoming.
Come and visit, sometime. As long as you’re not a naysayer. The sunrise over our driveway will make you a believer.
And there’s always our Tardis shed, if you need shelter. It’s bigger on the inside.
And before I forget, and this really should have gone in the beginning of this post… In fact, I should have shouted it from the rooftops and hired a skywriter to write it! Des (and I) did a guest post on the Growing Up Madison blog.
Check it. HERE. I hope you’ll find it most enjoyable.
Have a great three days! I will be back, on Christmas, and as always. There is a lot to look forward to in 2014. Work. Money. Love. Taking it to the streets. (no idea what that means but it sounded good) Spring and summer and fall again. All that I have to learn and discover. All that you have to learn and discover. Food. Friendships. Fun. You. Me. You and me?