Is “Timber” an appropriate song to reference here? I checked Urban Dictionary and I Googled the song meaning and it seems legit. Then again, I really surprised my friend Iva and made my sister’s day by writing about K-Y® Pleasure Gels, so there’s that. Besides that I saw a great explanation of the song “Timber” that says that he (the singer, narrator, etc.) is on the ascent in the song. He’s living in the moment. He’s up and down and up and down, and will eventually wind up down. Exhausted. (or hungover, but let’s stay with exhausted) The sun goes down, and then the night goes down, so you live it up while you can.
I know how to swim, a bit, and I know how to stay afloat, but I don’t know how to dive into water. I never learned. I tried but I failed. I was too afraid I would belly flop and it would hurt. I was too afraid I would sink down too far to get back up.
I’m photographing a wedding this Saturday. In the last week, I’ve done a lengthy maternity shoot and a large family shoot too. I don’t want to drown in photos. Sometimes it feels like I might. I just want to swim through them, easily and happily.
It’s also the first week of school for Scarlet, and orientation for Des, and it’s filled with so many details of what’s the same and what’s different. First grade is different, and today while I dropped her off and she played on the playground, I stayed as a fly on the wall. I suspected she’d get lost coming back to line up for class when the bell rang, and that she’d head instinctively to the kindergarten line. She did. She looked so lost and small. I stayed put a bit and watched one of the teachers help her to the first grade line. Then the first grade teacher pulled her to the front of the line as her helper.
Sometimes you can still be there, but by staying back. Sometimes you can stay back, but by still being there. She worked it out. I watched her file into school happily. She wasn’t embarrassed and she didn’t cry. So I still went to giggle in my car.
Then I dropped Des off at orientation for daycare, which was also so the same and so different. There were brand new toys and tables and chairs. Everything was so neat and organized and happy and healthy. Four new kids, and one kid graduated. He clung to me a bit and then settled in. And so I came back home to eat some yogurt and write this little undefined ditty.
I’ll have about a week’s worth of prescheduled posts for you. They may or may not be sponsored, but all sponsored posts have been chosen and written with care and heart. I hope you’ll join me here for those posts, but know that I’ll be back soon – in my present, Tamara voice, and not the pre-scheduled one, and that I will have survived photographing the wedding.
And if I do survive, which I think I probably will, I’ll most likely reward myself with a doughnut and moose-filled trip to Maine in October, if you’d like to join me there. If not, join me here as I recount all of these life adventures.
So I’m going to do it. I’m going to dive in. I can’t believe I’m in my 30’s and I’ve never taken a true dive. I don’t want to sink and I don’t want to belly flop. I don’t want to just tread water because I can. Instead I’m going to dive in and sink to the bottom of the blue water, if only to rest for awhile, and learn to breathe slowly. I’m going to dive into the water, into this life, into things I’m most afraid of and things I most dream about. I will never be as graceful as an Olympic diver..
Doughnuts are always an appropriate reward! Good luck on that wedding. So I know I am no photographer, but the nerves must be intense!? Um, hopefully that wasn’t unhelpful 🙂 Anyways, you are going to rock it and good luck this school year. First grade is a BIG year. My daughter says it is when you become a real school kid.
The nerves are tough! But. I’ve been calmer about it lately. I think I’m thinking of it more like any other job, because why do I get hired for a job? Because I know what I’m doing. (sorta)
Also, I don’t have to get married or give a speech either, and no one really looks at the photographer anyway. Woot!
I’ll try not to wear a white or a red dress, though.
I know this is a metaphor – – but diving is over rated lol
I never really liked diving. My husband actually dove off the dock when we went camping for the first time in like 20 years lol
good luck with the wedding and the school year 🙂
ha! Thank you! It seems overrated and not like this great freeing thing.
Now doing a big cannonball? That is therapeutic.
Tamara I’m glad that the first days for Scarlet and Des have started well and that you felt at ease enough to giggle before you left. I really like the Steve Winwood song you chose, and I love your determination to take your first dive. Make it a blissful dive! Think of yourself as a spoon diving into your yogurt and ice cream. Splash splash, yum yum!
It’s one of my favorite Steve Winwood songs!
I will absolutely do the spoon visualization. I think it will help me very much.
So glad to hear that the school year is off to a good start – the kids look so cute! Good luck at the wedding and hope it cools off for it. We are finally getting some cooler weather here.
It was 91 today but only supposed to be 81 for the wedding. And it’s later in the day so.. hoping good thoughts. The next day is supposed to be 90 again. Ick.
Diving into a body of water is like living life. There is diving in, treading water, belly flopping, all of it. 🙂 Best of luck with all your photo shoots, the kids getting acclimated to their new school routines, and hope you have a wonderful moose-filled trip to Maine. You might be close by…I live in Lewiston, 🙂
Awesome! We go wicked far, though. The Moosehead Lake region. Do you see moose often in Lewiston?? Inquiring minds..
Lewiston is considered pretty urban (for Maine standards), but believe it or not, we do see moose once in a while…and they are usually pretty big. They’ve smartened up and realized that nobody hunts them in the more developed areas so it’s kind of a safer spot for moose. lol 🙂
I live in Northampton, MA and there was a moose here two weeks ago! And one on the loose in the next town! I’ve never seen one in MA, though. I’ve seen one in New Hampshire, two in Vermont, about ten in Wyoming, and about one million in Maine! (slight exaggeration but maybe 50 or so!)
Next I need to go to Alaska.
My husband spent a few years growing up in Alaska and really wants to go back for a visit. 🙂 I’m cool with that…I’d love to see a polar bear! LOL
It’s my life dream! It’s the top item on my bucket list. Mountains, moose, bears, whales, northern lights. What’s not to love?
I’d love to do one of those tour buses that go near polar bears. I may be thinking about Manitoba, but I think there’s probably plenty in Alaska too.
This is a fun conversation! Thank you!
Sounds like an eventful first week! My son started kindergarten. You’re right. We just have to be flies on the wall and see how our kids handle life. And guess what. They do it so gracefully! Hope you have a great week.
Ah, that’s a big one!! Hope it’s going well.
I love how you described this and yesterday I wasn’t sure how Lily did as she walked away from us into kindergarten with Emma’s kindergarten teacher from last year looking shell-shocked. But she came home happy and went back today. So, I went out with a friend to Target and Starbucks late morning, something I never did when I was on pre-school drop-off and pickup these last few years without worrying about who I needed to get and when. Felt good not going to lie. So, I am going to try to embrace this new new found quiet and alone time at the very least now myself 😉
Ahh, I wish I could meet you for Target and Starbucks! Sigh. Is it full-time kindergarten?
Now that would be a dream come true and yes it is full-time kindergarten for Lily.
Wow! That’s so awesome. My two will be full-time next week and I will get so much work done. It will be weird.
Good job! On all accounts – dropping off your kids, returning home somewhat relaxed, diving into it all and writing it down for all of us to take part. Love all the watery pics, too. I hope you get to see your moose on the upcoming trip, but most of all, enjoy it all.
I was totally trying to find watery pics – thank you for noticing!
I think the next trip will be all about moose. This last one was more about bonding. It’s time to get serious!
Obviously it will be wicked fun but I will not leave without seeing moose so I may have to move up there!
Firstly, I’m so glad I stumbled upon your blog… your photos are gorgeous! Secondly, GOOD LUCK! Busy weeks make the years fly by, before you know it you’ll be wondering where all the time has gone – as my mother keeps telling me when I remind her I’m 30 this year!
Well thank you for visiting here!
I was 35 this year and I swear it felt like the most ancient birthday ever. I know I’ll change my mind one day but time does fly!
This is one big year for you. Good luck on starting this new school year, I know you will do just great!
http://www.artadorned.com
Thank you so much! Deep inside I think I know that because I feel more calm than I’d expect. I’m also so detail-oriented so I just feel very prepared.
A doughnut! I want one. Yum.
I’m sure your wedding photos will be amazing.
I’ve heard there are new peanut butter cup doughnuts at Dunkin. Something like that. I need one.
Thanks about the wedding photos!
Wow it sounds like you had a super full weekend! What great opportunities! I love your photo of the bride in her glory!
Thanks! That’s actually me!!! I was totally getting down to the Time Warp.
Good luck with all your assignments! Sounds busy and well deserved for a donut and moose break. Looking forward to all your posts, prescheduled and otherwise 🙂
I so appreciate that! I put my heart into both kinds of posts, but they’re certainly different! I make sure to do at least two of these a week lately – it keeps me sane.
Donuts are my favorite reward! Hope you get to relax and enjoy many of them!
Oh, me too! And my son’s favorite too.
I loved your pictures ! It sure sounds like you’re busy this week. Good luck accomplishing all of this !
Thanks, Carissa! I really look forward to getting a nice long break sometime. Maybe in the winter!
Your photos are amazing like usual. I am glad the start of the new school year has gone smoothly for you. Good luck with all your assignments and your next adventure!
Thank you so much! I feel better when I read the comments. It’s going to be an adventure for sure.
That’s exciting about shooting a wedding, but I’m sure also a little scary!
Melanie @ meandmr.com
Oh, I’m sure you understand! Even though I over-prepare and over-shoot for any photo shoot, there’s something about the wedding that’s the most scary. Because there’s only that one chance to get it right!
It was so nice to see what is going on in your life via your photos. There are so many exciting things you are in the middle of, good for you!
I’m totally keeping it real, I guess! I do look forward to life slowing down in October. That is.. if it will slow down! Usually that’s my busy season for non-wedding photography.
I love your photos! My daughter started school this week too. It’s her first time attending school but she is a social butterfly, total opposite of her dad and I, lol! I knew she would be fine otherwise I probably would have stuck around like a fly on the wall.
That’s awesome! I’m sure she’ll continue to flourish in school.
Your photos always make me smile. I love that you and your family are so happy and outgoing!
Aw, thanks! We are pretty outgoing for the most part. And we have a lot of fun.
I never learned how to dive either. I can swim…sort of…like for survival.
Your pics are gorgeous as always. I think I’m going to learn how to take better photos before I learn how to dive 😉
I feel the same way. I can stay afloat and maybe save a life, but only someone small. And I can’t do any fancy dives or strokes!
I think I hear you about photography over diving.
Have a fantastic week, Tamara! I’m sure you’ll rock those photos, as you always do with the ones you share on the blog. Glad all the first day stuff went well!
Thanks! You are all making me less nervous, and also importantly – excited. I should be scared/excited – that means I’m diving in!
I read this post and then fell asleep before commenting (a testimony to my crazy day, not your post, I assure you!) and was thinking about it a bit before I came back to comment. You seem like you would be a great person to have as a wedding photographer; your style, your passion, and your energy are so positive. You are thoughtful and purposeful and I think those are two great qualities for someone photographing a wedding. I know it’s intense for you, but remember you’ve got all the tools and the know how. Plus you gave birth to two kids, you can do anything, even dive!
haha! I put you to sleep! Just kidding – I have totally done that before.
I really appreciate what you said. I often say I’m no wedding photographer because I have a very ambivert personality and anxiety makes me retreat. That said, usually the people who seek me out for hire are similar and they don’t put pressure on me – they just trust me.
And honestly I think I’m built for this job.
I can’t wait to see your wedding pics! And I still love your prescheduled posts…but I”m with you. Sometimes you just need a little time away to do what you need to do!
Thank you so much! I’m sure I’ll share the photos, with the bride and groom’s permission. Last year’s wedding gave me the full go ahead!
Thank you my friend for stopping by and offering your condolences. I decided to read the comments today finally because it’s been such a tough time for me and I’m still dealing with it all. Can’t believe Scarlet is a 1st grader already, before you know it she’ll be off to Jr. High. Time surely flies but I’m sure you’ll capture all the memories on film to look back on. It’s one of the things I loved about my mom, I was able to see some photos that I hadn’t seen in a very long time. Cherish the time you have with her now and “giggle” as much as you want to. 🙂
Of course I stopped by! I called too, but I’m not sure I had the right number anymore. I’m so sorry about your loss, always.
I so agree about the giggling..
School has started off crazy for us! My youngest already home with a bad cold. Argh! I cant beleive how big your kids are getting. Don’t blink-they’ll be 18 when you open your eyes. lol
I remember that Scarlet got sick only a week after school started last year. It happens fast!!
And they are getting huge!
I love that you checked Urban Dictionary about Timber…which honestly is ALWAYS a good idea…when I was growing up I had the privilege to be a kid, so as a teenager (and lets be real – as an adult), I am always the last one to get a “dirty joke” so Urban Dictionary saves me when I am embarrassed to ask…haha
On another note, thank you for sharing the Hungry to Learn post. It was eye opening and I am so happy to have read it on your platform. Your writing style is always so honest and eloquently conveyed and I feel lucky to be a follower.
Chelsea
I know! I was so afraid to be writing about something.. inappropriate. Which I suppose is ok on an organic post, but I still couldn’t do it!!
I’m often the last to get the dirty joke.
Chelsea, what a nice comment! I love reading all of your posts too.
I got the squishy feeling thinking of Scarlet lining up for school! She’s sooo independent. Love her, love this!!! DIVE BABY!
I know! She looked SO lost. But she went right up to Miss Liz – who was a teacher’s aide in her kindergarten classroom. Miss Liz is pretty and nice and LOVES Scarlet. So I think it was a happy reunion.
Squishy feeling be gone now! Scarlet honestly wasn’t upset at all.
Go you! Enjoy your week and your DIVE. 🙂
Thank you!! I plan to try to enjoy it. I’ve lost a lot of the nerves. I’m looking at it as I do other photography jobs – as something I was hired for a reason to do!
I loved your pictures ! It sure sounds like you’re busy this week. Good luck accomplishing all of this
Thank you so much! I really can’t wait for this week to be over so I can rest.
I would be nervous too if my kids were going back to school. Someone invited me to join a community bible study that provides childcare for your kids and I’m too scared to join, because I can’t imagine leaving my kids in the childcare center.
Good luck with the wedding 🙂
Oh wow – that sounds awesome! I was nervous in the past but Des has done a year of daycare and Scarlet has done preschool and kindergarten so I’ve gotten a bit better at letting go.
It’s so hard to believe it is already time for another school year! Glad to hear it is off to a good start for them 🙂
I know! It almost makes me queasy. Fall means.. winter.
Girl, oh my goodness. You are braver than me. I would never dive. I hope that you have a wonderful time! Way to handle the back to school routine. Go, Tamara, go!
I’m not so brave.. yet. It’s so good to see you back!!
Congrats to all three of you on what sounds like a successful start to a new school year. I have full confidence that you will do (have done by now?) a fantastic job on your projects.
Thanks! Well I’m sort of mid way through. Des starts daycare fully tomorrow so it shall be a test!
I did my big wedding and half of my sponsored posts but I still have three sponsored posts this week and another wedding in a few weeks.
Gulp.
Glad the first day went well. I’m glad you are diving in – Can’t wait to hear about your adventures! xo
Thank you! A week in and past wedding #1, I’m ready to start writing about it soon.
Checking in 🙂 Hope you survived your crazy week! I’m glad the first day went good.
Hi!! I did it! I remember last Sunday I was thinking I wanted it to be this past Sunday, because that will have meant I survived the week. I did!
I still have another wedding in two weeks so I guess I have to survive the month.
I’m a little behind in reading, so I already know that you rocked the wedding this weekend. If only I could truly join you for donuts and moose…maybe one day. One day, too soon, my kids will be in college and yours will still be home, and I will visit you and get my kid fix, and ice cream fix, and Tamara fix. Please?
One day.. donuts and moose. And you can bring Berger’s and I’ll be less nervous next time so I’ll eat more! Although I think I ate four last time.. which isn’t half bad for being nervous!
And yes. Yes. To all of it.
I’m so far behind since my computer got sick — so not that it is all cured, I’m going to dive into your blog and do some treading…. er, reading.
I realize that was not the best segue ever; but I am probably out of practice.
It worked for me. And by the way, I would never fault you if you just needed a long break from commenting. I know you read! I know we’re good.