How to Prepare For Life as Part of a Couple

Too many relationships nowadays, seem to race from one thing to another, couples constantly planning until there is nothing more to plan for. Here's how to plan life a part of a couple.

So, you have found the person that you think is the perfect partner for you to share your future life with, settle down and maybe even start a family together. That’s fantastic, but before you get the wedding invitations written or start deciding on baby names, there are a few things that you should consider seriously. Too many relationships nowadays, seem to race from one thing to another, couples constantly planning until there is nothing more to plan for. When the excitement stops, for most so does the relationship – leaving behind big bills, broken dreams, sore hearts, and angry emotions.

#1 Take it slow 

It is important that you take time to get to know your new partner before you go rushing into commitments, financial or otherwise. In fact, you could very well find yourself totally swept off of your feet or so totally in love that you are viewing your new partner through rose-tinted glasses, but jumping into marriage or even purchasing a home together could have everything crashing down around your ears too soon and leaving you with an almighty bill at the end of it all. For instance, selling your home in order to move in together could have disastrous circumstances for you if you both happen to find that you are incompatible or fall out of love as fast as you fell in love. 

However, in saying this, it is a good idea to build up the time that you are spending together, especially if there is talk of moving in together or even marriage. Going from a standing start of living alone to having someone constantly there all the time morning, noon, and night can be a shock to anyone and can put a stain on an otherwise stable relationship.

#2 Keep in mind that it could go wrong

Always keep in mind that the relationship could go wrong. Obviously, you will want to guide your relationship to keep it from going rocky, but it will take both of you to work at it, if it is to succeed. Making sure that you are keeping control of your own finances, and any property that you happen to own will mean that you have a fighting chance of getting back on your feet should your relationship take a turn for the worse, and knowing this will mean that you can concentrate on your partner rather than on any black clouds which may appear on the horizon.

#3 Choosing to get married

Marriage is a big step; it takes a lot of planning as well as significant financial extravagance. If you have any doubts at all about your future life with your partner in question it is best to avoid getting married to them. For many couples, planning the big day can make them feel closer together but it can also do the opposite, especially if there is one partner that wants everything their own way and will not compromise any detail with the other one. When this is the case, an unsurmountable strain is put on the relationship, and it is highly likely that should the wedding take place there will be problems on the road ahead.

#4 Bringing children into the equation

This is even more so when the question of children is brought into the equation. It is said that a baby will bring a couple together, however, this is nonsense – for a lot of couples it is the other way around. If there is an issue with the relationship, having a baby will put enough stress and strain that the issue will come to light, even if the baby is blamed as the largest part of the breakup. 

Sleepless nights, exhausted parents, and the worry of the new life and the responsibility that it brings with it can have even the strongest relationship to wobble – there is always the argument that one partner is not doing their share. Should you decide to move forward and have a baby with your partner, make sure that you can still have date nights together, spending time together as a couple rather than as parents will see that the spark that exists between you can still be ignited with love and passion rather than dampened by nappies, worries, and stress.

#5 Keep communicating

Throughout the whole of your relationship, it is important that you communicate. Do not assume that your partner knows or even understands how you feel, or for that matter, you know how they are feeling. Everybody experiences different things in a multitude of different ways and without communicating you will never truly know your other half or what is going on inside their head. 

In order for your relationship to work and last a long time, you will have to be prepared to compromise and share in all aspects of life. Facing issues together and sorting out any problems or irritating habits early on will alleviate a lot of arguments later on in life.

When things break down completely

If you find that your relationship has broken down beyond all help, it may very well be time to call quits on the whole situation. Relationships fail for various reasons, although for the majority it seems to be the addition of a third party attaching themselves to one or other of the partners. Even if a relationship moves past this major event the damage to trust can be irreparable and the relationship will never be the same again.

If you are married and find yourself within this type of scenario, it is time to get in touch with a divorce family lawyer so that you can talk through the options available to you as well as what legal route you will need to follow in order to divorce your partner and come out of the marriage with the necessities that you require and deserve.

Try not to get bitter

Although it can be difficult, especially if there have been third parties involved with your other half, it is better if you do not get too bitter, and even more so if there are children involved in the relationship. Bitterness can not only cause the divorce process to take longer but it can also add to the emotional stresses of yourself and your children. 

Keeping calm and collected will not only help you see the clarity of the situation and how your partner is not worthy of your attention, but it will also help your children deal with the sudden issue of their other parent not being around or the changes that come with it.

Moving on

You may feel that you will never trust or fall in love with anyone again after the issues that you have faced with your previous partner. However, this is a view that will prevent you from finding the partner of your dreams, as well as cut you off from experiences in life that could bring you a lot of happiness. Everyone is different, and tainting a certain set of people with the same brush can be seen as very narrow-minded regardless of how much you have been hurt. 

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