Hey Girl.

So surely by now, you have seen the dozens upon dozens of Ryan Gosling memes out there. Once, I had to ask my brother-in-law what “meme” meant. This was not long ago. I still don’t quite understand it. What I do understand is that many of them are freakin’ funny. The grumpy cat quotes. The political someecards. The Ryan Gosling. Overplayed and overdone?

Perhaps. Not when it’s truly funny, though.

I decided to make my own Ryan Gosling-esque memes, because let’s face it, the camera loves Des as much as it loves Mr. Gosling. Soulful, sensitive eyes, a little quirk here and there, maybe a come hither glance or two. Completely amazing.

Yeah.

I linked some good examples above and here but all you need to know is that they’re exceptionally good photos of Ryan Gosling with hilariously sensitive and feminist and dreamy things to say. That he didn’t really say, but wishes he did!

Meet the irresistible and up-and-coming Des Bowman:

“Hey girl. Sorry I puked down your shirt. It happens when I drink too much..milk.”

“Hey girl. I wanna bite your nipple in the worst way. Oh, you don’t like that? Sorry, but I can’t help myself sometimes.”

“Hey girl. I love it when you wear that easy access nursing top.”

“Hey girl. I don’t get out of the house much on winter days, but when I do I’m going to take you to a kid-friendly cafe. With high-chairs.”

“Hey girl. I just pooped my pants. Wait for it..I just did it again!”

“Hey girl. Sometimes when I can’t sleep, I smother my face with my lamby blanket..and I pretend it’s you.”

“Hey girl. That blurry background is my thick bookcase. I love to devour books whole..and then I spit up the paper and cardboard.”