So much of my anxiety is in my mind, if not all of it, as my mom once told me. All of it – the grand scope of the thoughts and the symptoms and the worries – it is contained. It is contained in just one complicated place. And it can be stopped and healed within that same place. A lot of how I feel better has nothing to do with doing something physically. I don’t take any medications, although I will say that a good multivitamin can help. And plenty of sunshine, of course. Getting lots of sleep helps. However, when I’m not anxious I could eat ice cream for dinner on four hours of sleep and still feel high as a kite. So much of everything seems to depend on our minds. And making choices about what to do, what to say, and where to go.
I may spray herbal sprays in my mouth. I might snap a hair tie around my wrist just enough for it to hurt, and to direct any attention away from harsh emotions. I may blast music or pace the halls, or write a letter to my five-year-old self.
My happy place is working on myself and choosing to uncover the dark truths hidden inside in order to breathe and soar more freely. My happy place is exploring and learning to live the life I want to live – free of many borders and limits and fears. My happy place is under construction, with detours, nooks & crannies and obstacle courses. It’s ok, though. There are warp zones too. There are temporary shortcuts and permanent foundations in place. My happy place is this blog and what’s beside it.