I was nervous before I did it. My voice was soft, and so was my heart. The manager was highly receptive to my pay it forward plan, and even made a joke. “That will be $99, Miss.” I laughed and made a choking noise in my throat, but honestly? I was willing. I had come that far. I had my kids in the car. I was ready. It turned out to be $4.00, which was more of a relief that they weren’t going to run out of doughnuts and coffee after $99 worth was purchased, than the relief was on my wallet.
We went a few days later and did the same thing. It might not be something to do every time, or to even admit we go to Dunkin Donuts that much, but Scarlet was insistent. So I explained it to the employee and he said, “You won’t believe this. Someone did that on Friday and it caused a chain reaction. I think we got up to 12 cars in a row. Maybe more.” I was bursting to say it was me, but I was also the same person who sped out of the parking lot (safely, of course) before the car behind me could catch my identity. It made me nervous, and excited. And I realized that what seemed small to me at the time – $4.00 – was bigger than I knew. A small contribution can actually make a big difference in someone’s day.. or even in their life.
(This was the time my kids donated a teddy bear to a local women’s shelter and loved the entire process. I’m also sharing this photo because.. Miles Davis.)
Why am I bringing this up? A wonderful, strong, caring, Wonder Woman type of person in my life has written a book. Not only that, but I took the photos for the book cover! Me?? Little me, who is so not really Miles Davis. Just look at me go, Ma!
Even before you read the book and just read the inside cover, the write-up is a huge theme in my life. Many people think that they have to donate a lot of time and money in order to make a difference, but it isn’t the case. I have been at some low points financially and emotionally over the last several years, and it not only squashed my spirit and self-worth in general, but it hurts me not to give. Quite simply, I’m happier when I’m helping. I wish I had this book years ago, so that I’d have known about Jen’s six amazing models of giving, and that I was making it more complicated than it really is. This book covers her six models of giving, and is completely fun, practical and enlightening. Giving improves our overall happiness and well-being.
It doesn’t have to involve money or volunteering to make a difference. Sometimes it’s a simple gesture or voice of support. For me, simple giving is an anti-anxiety tool. Connecting. Smiling. Complimenting. Good deeding (I made that up but let’s go with it). Hugging. Donating. Stopping bad feelings in their tracks by feeling more fulfilled and connected to the world around me. Jennifer also asks the question, “What’s your pull?” What’s my pull to give? It’s wanting a better world and being here to see it unfold. It’s about believing that little and big things turn into big and bigger things, and that we have a world in which when a butterfly flaps its wings.. it leads to many amazing and beautiful things. It starts with simple giving. And myself.
(Wanting to make the world a better place for all our kids too.)
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Aw, I couldn’t love more that Scarlet still talks about that and seriously this so made me smile on my Friday afternoon. Hugs and also think you know how much I loved Jennifer’s book, too 😉
Scarlet often remembers the good stuff.. which is convenient, ya know??
And yes, my dear. You loved this book too!
I’ve spent all or part of many Thanksgiving Days in the Soup Kitchen of my Church’s Parish Center. The first ones were in the basement underneath the Church. At Christmastime I helped at the food and toy drives. That was fun! They require much standing and moving around which would be very difficult for me right now. When we smile at someone, and offer a friendly hello, with direct eye contact, and keep in touch with family and friends that we can’t see every day we are giving of ourselves. There are so many simple ways to touch someone’s life, and brighten their day. Paying It Forward works great that way.
You have to love that direct eye contact. That’s one thing so hard about our virtual world, but I’m so happy we do have a virtual world too.. because distance and all.
I love the way you touch people’s lives!
omg congrats on the photo job, Tamara, that’s HUGE! this book actually seems right up my alley, i’m totally going to check it out. random acts of kindness always make such a big difference in my life, so i try to be intentional about doing them for others, too. and as you said, it doesn’t take a huge time commitment or loads of money–sometimes a compliment on an outfit can go really far!!
It was amazing just today that I was having a terrible day at Walmart and people around me were helpful and kind and awesome. Perhaps they heard me coughing, and saw me struggling to push a cart with a coughing kid and a kid in a princess dress! Sheesh.
What an awesome photo! It is so important to pay it forward and help others. Society is sometime so self-centered and it makes me happy that I have heard about so many supportive women lately! Love it! Happy Halloween Tamara!
This book is pretty brilliant!
Happy Halloween to you! We’ve all been sick but definitely celebrated in style, as best as we could.
Yay, go you!
We need to do more random acts of kindness. Maybe the next time we’re in Dunkin Donuts, we’ll do the same.
Ooh, I hope so! I was in Starbucks at the drive-thru today and wanted to, but my drink took so long and the people behind me could totally see me and hear me so I got embarrassed that they’d hear me!
Next time.
I hope Eve enjoys giving as much as Scarlet does when she’s old enough to understand 🙂
I’m so proud of Jen and her book. She makes giving feel as easy as breathing!
I’m fairly certain Eve will! Look at her great parents!
So true about Jen. Easy and automatic, like breathing.
I love love love that you did that so much 🙂 What a simple, sweet gesture of kindness and what a beautiful lesson to pass along to your children.
That is some serious cuteness in the pictures of Scarlet–I remember when you posted. SO CUTE!
Billy Madison! Yay!!! Love that movie 🙂
And what a wonderful book this sounds like–and how incredible you were asked to do the photography; as always, your photos came out beautifully!!
Yay for getting Billy Madison right! You get a cookie!!
What a wonderful thing you did and what a special lesson for your daughter! Twelve cars that gave to others when they wouldn’t normally have thought to do it. I love the premise of this book so thank you for sharing it! Have a happy Halloween!
I must have hit the truckload of awesome people in a row. So glad I did it!
Now I’ll do it again – there are new holiday doughnuts at Dunkin.
Oh, wow Tamara what a great book to feature today. I’m going to def going to read! Congrats on the book release, Jennifer! it looks amazing and i love the premise. Nice idea, Tamara to pay it forward. I must do that and I should be more giving! Thank you for the inspiration 🙂
Thank you for being inspired! Jennifer is awesome like that.
p.s. the link to buy the book is going to ‘page not found’. Is it on Amazon?
Yup! No clue what happened there. Sorry about that!
http://www.amazon.com/Simple-Giving-Easy-Ways-Every/dp/0399172459/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1446485308&sr=8-1&keywords=simple+giving+jennifer+iacovelli
This is beautiful and I love this. It does only take one small thing to create a chain reaction. Your photos of Jennifer are beautiful!
Thanks! We had a blast together. I can’t wait to do more.
We do that fairly often (paying for the toll behind us, or the drive-thru order) and haven’t in a while so thank you so much for the reminder. I love that you took the photos (and at this point, am feeling almost owed that you take some of Tucker) and I will so check out this book. THANK YOU!
We have EZPass and I wonder if it’s possible to somehow do that. I guess not? Drive-thrus it is!
I totally owe you photos of Tucker. Like.. we need a contract.
I’m a huge believer in small, random acts of kindness. They make the world a wonderful place! I love that you’re teaching your kids at such a young age – great job, mama!
Thanks! I do hope it’s sticking. It seems to be because Scarlet is such a mother hen and wants to give to everyone.
Simple giving! I agree that we don’t need lots of money to give. I realize that now. Also, that feeling when you’ve helped someone and willingly offered your time and effort is bliss. I don’t have a lot of money which is why I do things my own way to help. I always remind myself to stay happy and positive as much as possible because that’s how I plan to give – to spread the goodness and bliss to others.
Same here. I don’t have so much but I do like to make it count. And it’s getting better and better with time!
Love the random acts of kindness! So great that you touched Scarket’s heart forever with it! Beautiful pictures of Jennifer too. Sounds like a great book!
I honestly thought it wasn’t even a big thing, but I LOVE how 12 cars did it behind us. That makes it an event!
Random acts of kindness is what it’s all about. You’ve always had a good heart and I can’t see you not ever giving, including giving of yourself. I’m sure Scarlet and Des are going to be the same when they grow up.
I really hope you’re right! I think I have to learn to open my heart even wider.
Oh how I just love this soooo much!! I love the random acts of kindness, and how you LIVE it!! That is just awesome, and soooo important for us all to teach out kids! And yeah- those cute pics TOTALLY send the message home!!
I love Jennifer. I love her mission and her purpose in this book, and in her life.
A perfect day would be spent with you and Jennifer!
I still remember that story too! And what an awesome and inspiring book.
I’m so glad I shared it when it happened! Now I have to make sure I do it more regularly.
All my blogging friends are writing great books!
It’s wonderful the way you are teaching your children to give back! The book sounds inspiring, too 🙂
It’s an incredible book. As my friend Bev says, “Jennifer makes giving seem as easy as breathing.”
This sounds like a great read. I often think that giving is only volunteering and giving money. So I would love to read about others ways of giving.
I totally get that and have felt the same. It was nice to read this book and learn so many other ways to give.
Very nice!! Yes, it’s definitely the little kindnesses that we show to others and are shown to us that make a better world go round!
It definitely connects us all better. This book was quite a good one! I can’t wait until Scarlet is old enough to read it.
What a great photo you took for the book!! Isn’t it amazing how far a small, thoughtful act can go? Not sure what that says about our society — that something small makes such a huge impact. BUT, I’m loving the idea of doing this with your children in tow… that’s the kind of thing they will never forget. Best of luck with the book, Jennifer! I’m following you on bloglovin’.
Thanks about the photo!
Doing it with and for the kids is a whole new experience that I love. I remember going to the soup kitchen with my parents when I was very, very young in Morristown, NJ.
I don’t think I ever commented here to “officially” say thank you for this wonderful post. I love how you get the kids involved with kindness acts. I love the photos you took and that day in general. So happy you are a part of Simple Giving! Thanks, Tamara!
Oh! Of course! People here seem very responsive. I’m only getting to the comments now.
I love being a part of this awesome creation.
yay scarlet! giving can be so memorable. i agree, even just a little bit can be such a game-changer.
I guess I forgot that for awhile and didn’t even try.
It’s so much better to give simply and see what can unfold.
A gesture or a voice of support – those are absolutely examples of giving! Doing a mitzvah – kids learn about it in religious school, but it’s up to parents to continue leading by example. So happy for Jennifer!
It’s true. I remember learning about it in Hebrew School but luckily being able to say to my teacher, “but my parents do these things too!”
The person in line before me paid for my coffee at McDonalds once, and I’ll never forget how it made me feel. Thank you for the reminder to step outside our own little world and its problems and do the simple little acts of kindness! So nice that you passed it on to Scarlet. I will have to check out the book!
That makes me want to do it again and again! I love that it felt so good to you. I’m doing it tomorrow at Starbucks. Wheeee!
HAHA!! I totally know that nervous feeling before good deeding 🙂 I’ve felt it. The feeling afterwards feels wonderful, it’s a high that I like. This sounds like such a wonderful book, thanks for sharing.
XO
Yes! The nerves and then the dizzying highs. I love it so much. I’m doing it tomorrow. Starbucks. That’s the big guns because you just know that some people have $20 orders there.
Last year, for Christmas, I hosted 15 acts of kindness. None required money, but you have to lead by example. I know you do! 🙂
I love that!!! I need to do something just like that.
That’s so awesome you are teaching the kiddos that! Kindness sure does go a long way 🙂
Yes it does! And I think I can do more and more. I’m going to be so much better at it now.
Got to check out the book. I’ll be honest – I would love to give, donate a lot more than I do, but I struggle. As strong as seem to be to most, I can be very shy and insecure at times, too. Sigh – it was a bad day…
Me too.
I hope you’ve had better days since this one.
The kids are the best with kindness, aren’t they? We should learn from them. Live and give … that’s the way to go, right?
It’s totally amazing and makes you wonder how the might have fallen. Like when does that stop? For some, not at all. For others.. it does.
LOVE that question: “What’s your pull?” So many times I start off with the best of intentions to donate to a charity or to make a pan of food to go to the homeless shelter, but life often gets in the way. It’s so important to instill a sense of charity in our kids too. Your story about paying it forward with Scarlet in the car is such a sweet example of this, too.
Life SO gets in the way. And sometimes money gets me weird because I know what it’s like to have it, and not, and have a little, and have a lot. And that rhymed! I wish I could just be more normal. I think the best way for me is to put giving into the family budget.
I love this, Tamara. It reminds me of something I read a few days ago – “Great things are done by a series of small things brought together.” – Vincent Van Gogh
I LOVE that! Thanks for sharing his amazing quote.
It’s the small things that mean so much.
Agreed. And they add up!
Hi Tamara, I like the point you made that giving needn’t be about giving huge things, small things can make a huge difference too. I’ve never payed forward, but I do feel good when I purposely buy extra groceries and pop them into the baskets at the front of the supermarket for people who are having a hard time. Can you imagine how much nicer the world would be if everyone who could took a little time to give something to help others.
I so want to go to a Dunkin’ Donuts! I’ve never been and I walked passed one once in Athens planning to go back to it, but never did!.. Lesson learned.
xx
What you do at the grocery store.. what an inspiration. Thank you for that idea.
I even love when I’ve got tired kids and someone lets me go ahead of them in line. Sometimes it’s so logical. I’m buying one thing and they have several, but it’s always a nice gesture.
I didn’t know Athens had a Dunkin! Very cool! We have them literally on every street corner. My little city has four.