Clash of the Couples!

It’s a little funny to be talking about this upcoming book, mainly because I wanted to be a part of it. I wanted that so badly. I have tasted what it’s like to be a co-author of a book, and of course I want that to happen many more times in my life.

And you know what? It will.

However, today we’re talking about something else. I honestly could not think of a single story I could write. Cassidy and I have many cold wars and chilling arguments, but do we have anything lighter and more funny to talk about? In fact, we do!

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It was fall of 2004. The Yankees & the Red Sox. You see, my entire family is comprised of diehard Yankees fan. Cassidy’s family is comprised of Red Sox fans. Me? I never really cared much, preferring to stay home with a good book or a good friend when my entire family hoofed it out to Yankees Stadium, where they witnessed a woman vomit out of her car window, in a city that scares me, and I think the team lost. So there was that. Moving along, one day I cared. You know what it was? It was when Pedro Martinez knocked over Don Zimmer. I couldn’t handle that. I struggle enough with caring about sports because as much as I love the thought of something that keeps you warm all winter, or interested all summer, it’s too uncomfortable or boring for me to watch sports. I don’t like caring so much about something I have no control over. It’s more about that than anything. And no matter whether it was warranted or not, I couldn’t handle watching that angry older man get knocked over.

That day, I became a big Yankees fan.

clash of the couples

Back to the clash story. Cassidy and I were in a long distance relationship and he was visiting during the finals, or whatever you call it, before the World Series. He was at my parent’s Yankees household when the Red Sox came back from a 0–3, best-of-seven deficit to beat the Yankees in the 2004 American League Championship Series. He screamed out, “YES!” And then my dad quickly shut off the TV in disgust before Cassidy could revel in the glory and watch the crowd celebrate. I couldn’t believe how upset I was. I didn’t want to hear about it. After our brutal breakup only weeks later, I wanted so badly for the Red Sox to lose. They didn’t. I haven’t cared so much since, and maybe I never will, unless an old man is knocked down.

I wanted to slap the face of every Red Sox player that day, though.

While this story will not be found in the upcoming book, “Clash of the Couples,” many amazing and hilarious stories will.

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Coupledom. Fact or fable, Adam and Eve birthed the perpetual relationship drama as seen on TV today. Despite the serpents, this couple HAD IT MADE. Luxury real estate, lush gardens, and privacy out the yin-yang. Life was glorious until the bare-bottomed babe could no longer resist temptation. Despite her better half’s warnings and threats to sleep in a tree, she tasted the forbidden fruit. One bite of that seductive, juicy contraband and the stage was set for eternity— a nibble that has blossomed into an endless supply of tiny tidbits that divide lovers to this day!

Taking a cue from the naked explorers of authentic sin, Clash of the Couples is a new anthology featuring a collection of completely absurd lovers’ squabbles and relationship spats. Think couples fight over kids, sex, and money? Think again! Furniture, the last beer, and where to store the placenta are what genuinely ignite our feuds. And no argument is off limits. This book has it all!

Inside you’ll find a gut-busting compilation of stories such as: “I Can’t Believe You Ate My Sandwich,” “Never Assume Anything,” “Only I Can Talk About Me,” and “You Want Some College Boobs?” from forty-three fearless writers. Prepare to laugh, roll your eyes, and shiver in suspense. While Eve may have had the first bite, we ate the whole tree. And made pies.

Published by Blue Lobster Book Co., Clash of the Couples launches loudly and obnoxiously on November 3, 2014. You’ll hear us coming, but look for it on Amazon, B&N, Apple, and other places where you typically buy books. For instant updates, follow along on Facebook!

The incredible lineup includes many of my friends and other incredible writers I read:

Andrew S. Delfino of Almost Coherent Parent

Crystal Ponti of MommiFried

Camille DeFer Thompson of Camille DeFer Thompson

Kimberly Morand of Anchor Magazine: Navigating Depression, Bipolar, and Anxiety

Meredith Napolitano of From Meredith to Mommy

Chris Dean of pixie.c.d.

Linda Roy of elleroy was here

Kevin Zelenka of Double Trouble Daddy

Sarah Cottrell of Housewife Plus

R.C. Liley of Going Dad

Mary Widdicks of Outmanned

Marie Bollman of Make Your Own Damn Dinner

Ginny Marie of Lemon Drop Pie

Mike Reynolds of Puzzling Posts

Leigh-Mary Hoffmann of Happily Ever Laughter Blog

Lisa Petty of Lisa R. Petty

Lynn Shattuck of The Light Will Find You

Jeff Bogle of Out With The Kids

Stacey Gustafson of Are You Kidding Me?

Angela Godbout of FRaPS

Courtney Conover of The Brown Girl with Long Hair

Jenny Hills of Express Bus Mama

Marcia Kester Doyle of Menopausal Mother

Julia Arnold of Frantic Mama

Jessica Azar of Herd Management

Susan A. Black of I Like That

Dave Lesser of Amateur Idiot Professional Dad

Sarah del Rio of est. 1975

Nicole R. Wildhood of Naught Be All Else

Angela Keck of Writer Mom’s Blog

Alexa Bigwarfe of No Holding Back

Brian Sorrell of Dadding Full Time

Kathryn Leehane of Foxy Wine Pocket

April Grant of 100lb Countdown

Bev Feldman of Linkouture

Jodi Flaherty of The Noise of Boys

Scott Rigdon of Three Five Zero

Lydia Richmond of Cluttered Genius

Allie Burdick of VITA – Train for Life

Michelle Grewe of Crumpets and Bollocks

Barb Godshalk of Co-Author of Tall Tales and Short Stories from South Jersey

Jonathon Floyd of One Funny Daddy

Amanda Mushro of Questionable Choices in Parenting

Chris Carter of The Mom Cafe

Do you have a lovers’ squabble or relationship spat you can share here today?

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111 Comments

  1. I think you know we too have out fair share of couple arguments here, too, but still I am not sure what I could have come up with for this that I guess like you just have to sit this one out. Hoping there will be a next for us again soon though.

  2. I had to sit this out as well…for me, this is too private! But I can only imagine how hilarious this book must be!!

  3. No fighting here, nope,never (as my nose grows longer than a cucumber.) One time in anger (gasp) I threw a glass of water on my husband’s very handsome but annoying at the time face and turned and stormed out of the room only to slip and fall on the water I had just thrown. Nothing says karma like a moment like that….

    This book sounds fabulous and I am so glad you alerted us all of it’s launch.

  4. My mom, step-dad, sisters, and I are die-hard University of Oregon Ducks fans. My son loves his Ducks. My fiancé, the love of my life, is an Oregon State Beavers fan.
    Civil War every fall is full of trash talk. And since the Ducks have won every year we’ve been together, we don’t yet know what happens when my team loses…but I bet it’s lonely in the living room :p

    1. Ha! I have a lot of friends who are diehard Oregon ducks fans.
      Well the Yankees did win the World Series in the last several years. And he went to bed early and I watched it alone in the living room and I was truly happy! I think I fist pumped into the sky and no one heard me.

  5. My dad and sister are Mets fans, but I have a lot of friends who are die-hard Yankees fans. And that year that the Red Sox won? My first year living in Boston! Of course, I couldn’t have cared less at the time. Oh well.

    Thanks for being part of the cover reveal!

    1. You must have heard a collective scream throughout the whole city though, right?
      I remember that when I was living in San Francisco, the Super Bowl was between the Pats and maybe the Giants. I don’t even know if that’s right but it was something like that. I was walking home from work when the game ended and I just heard intense screaming. The thing is, San Francisco is such a transitory place that I didn’t know which team won. People from all over live there.

      1. Yes, I heard it! I was living in Allston at the time (i.e. land of the BU students and young adults fresh out of college) in an apartment building, and I heard a collective cheer. I didn’t have to have the tv on to know that the Sox had won 😉

  6. Thanks for sharing Tamara!!! I’m SOOOO excited to be in this book and cannot wait until it’s available to buy. Loved the baseball story too – I have countless stories like that from football, and an epic one when the Giants beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl. We’re Pats fans and one of Mike’s brothers is a Giants fan. It was ugly. I didn’t watch SportsCenter for a week. 🙂

    1. Okay, I was just telling Bev about that night! I was living in San Francisco and I was walking home from work when the game ended. I realize that hearing screaming meant nothing because San Francisco is so transitory, that there are lots of people from New York and New England. Congrats on this amazing book!

  7. I will read that!

    My husband and I have spats daily. He thinks I’m strange 90% of the time. And he’s all, “Why does Natalie need another dress? Isn’t her closet full of them?”

  8. We won a trip to the world series a few years ago. The Cleveland Indians had actually played a great season and it looked like they might make it – until the Red Sox beat them and went to the World Series. We got to watch them win it in Denver. When they won in Denver? No music, no celebration. It’s like your dad was there or something. I’m sure on television they played music and there was fanfare. But live in the stadium? Super quiet. It was weird.

    1. I was actually going to write about this, but Cassidy did get to see his team win in Denver. That was probably one of the few times in life that I wanted the Red Sox to win. I guess I love him that much, that I thought what a chance to see your team win. So you and Cassidy might have been near each other in the stands! Isn’t that weird?

    2. I had to address this. It was quiet because they clinched it on the Colorado Rockies home field. No cheering. Just the sound of heartbreak, which is silent on the outside. Psh. I remember that night well. the losses seem to remain more vivid in memory than the wins!

      1. I remember that night well! I was following along in San Francisco with Cassidy in Denver. I was really happy for him. And after, he got to meet some of the Sox players in his hotel. You can’t beat that kind of night.. if you actually care about this sort of thing, which I 90% don’t.

  9. I once offered the woman I would eventually marry the last bite of my pizza, thinking, no way in hell anyone would actually eat my last bite of pizza, and she did. After she gave me our third beautiful daughter, I found it in my heart to forgive.

    I try not to think about you being a yankees fan the same way you probably try to forget about me being republican. For you, not a deal breaker. Plus, you’re not like a Bronx yankees fan. Like I’m not an NRA right winger. KnowwhatImean?

    1. haha.. Yes. But. I’m not even remotely a real Yankees fan. For example, I haven’t watched them or followed their plight in about.. five years? The same could be said of the Sox in this house too. There has not been one baseball game on our TV in the last several years. There has, however, been a whole lot of Disney Jr. and Walking Dead.

      I live in a town so left that there was a category at our trivia night last night, “Let’s Say Nice Things About Republicans.” I couldn’t believe it.

  10. I can’t wait to read this book! Our arguments are usually over how long it takes to walk somewhere. For me, anything longer than 5 blocks is “a ten minute walk”, whether it’s a mile or three. It drives Fran CRAZY, because I will walk anywhere out of choice and he is all about cabs, trains & buses. When he complains and something actually does only take ten minutes I gloat for HOURS.

    1. Okay, that is hilarious. I wish we had fun things like this. Maybe we are too serious, on the other hand, maybe we agree on at least a lot of things. That’s what I tell myself.

  11. Yankees fan? Ugh. Well, at least you’re not one of those super diehard fans. I’ll let it slide.

    Love the cover of this book. I, too, wanted to contribute. But, well, not really the best timing for me. 🙂

  12. It’s so crazy because I’m from Maine and my husband is from New York. We clash on all sport! LOL Thanks for helping us spread the word, Tamara! We are so excited for the release of this book! 🙂

    1. Oh that is so funny! I’m from New Jersey and my husband is from Connecticut, and he totally went the way of New England sports. I think it can be split with Connecticut.

  13. I got furious with Frank for letting me sleep in on a Saturday morning and leaving me alone in bed while he took care of the kids. (Never mind his good intentions or the fact that I could have had an extra hour or two to sleep in, nooo how dare he leave me alone!) I think I fully justified the saying “Hell hath no fury like a woman… left in bed alone”
    And of course there was this time I scarred him like a furious cat because he was absent-mindedly scratching my arm while we were watching TV. He still has the scar to prove it.

  14. Oh Tamera – so much to “say!” I am a DIE HARD RED SOX FAN. I remember the 2004 series, and I attribute their victories to the birth of my daughter. I hope we can still be friends!

    I didn’t know you were in a book. I’m going to go check it out. That is a dream of mine!!!! There’s a new anthology out that I submitted to, but didn’t make the cut – and it hurt. That being said, I love the final product, so it just wasn’t meant to be. But some day!

    Love the concept of the couples book and I’m going to order it.

    1. That’s tough but it’s awesome that you submitted something. I need to get up the nerve to do the same.
      And we can totally still be friends because on the worst Yankees fan in the world. I don’t even mind when the Red Sox win. Sometimes I even get happy about it! Don’t tell my dad.

  15. A good rivalry between 2 in a couple is always fun :). As long as we keep the fights clean ;). My hubs and I don’t quarrel over sports but certainly plenty else, like cleaning up one another’s trash (discarded candy wrappers, tissues, etc.). Fun stuff. Keeps it lively around the house, hehe.

    1. Ha !! Cassidy is so much cleaner than I am. It’s not that I like to live in filth, but I can stand clutter because I’m around all day picking it up and watching it grow again. He must think I’m a pig, though.

  16. Oh Tamara!! I LOVE that you are supporting this book!! I wasn’t going to submit anything for it- but I realized I DO have some good advice, so there’s that! It was fun to write, and I’m really excited to be a part of this anthology! Your story is adorable!!!

  17. I want to read this book. JC and I clash over making the bed. He had never made the bed until he started staying with me. I religiously make the bed EVERYDAY!! No matter what. It drives him insane. It drives me insane that he can just walk out of the room with leaving the bed unmade! I’m sure it’s not funny like the stories I can imagine are in this book though!

  18. My goodness – that’s quite a long list of authors! I choose to believe that a fairytale romance like yours has no “clashes” that are book worthy… right??? =) Most of our clashes seem pretty ridiculous in retrospect, but mostly have to do with me not feeling appreciated for all the hard work I do around the house and with the kids. R-E-S-P-E-C-T… is it really so hard?

    1. haha.. right, Sarah! That’s right. We’re living the perfect castle dream here and he brings me breakfast in bed EVERY day.
      Ok.. not so much. Respect seems hard for some. And kindness.

  19. Oh my – my hubby and I have been together for a loooonnng time, so there are many stories! Our first fight – when we were first married, hubby decided that he needed new underwear. Rather than purchase them himself, or mention it to his new wife, he asked his mom to pick some up for him. When MIL brought them over and then proceeded to instruct me in how to take care of her son’s underwear needs – I was furious! Hmm…may have to blog about this story! Looking forward to reading the book.

    1. You NEED to see if you can still get in the book with that story. I am not kidding. I just laughed out loud.
      If my husband did this.. I don’t even know. I remember when he got sick and his mother did something really nice – she brought him homemade soup. And I still thought that was punch-worthy.
      All in good fun, but this story is awesome.

  20. I’m definitely a believer that all couples argue…even if they don’t know it themselves. It’s natural! And as far as disagreements go, having a baseball team rivalry is probably one of the easiest to handle. Though I understand Yankess vs. Red Sox is kind of like Redskins vs. Cowboys…..

  21. The “finals” before the World Series – you crack me up! If you look carefully, you may just see my husband on TV right now – he took a client to the Orioles game and has awesome seats. Anyway, I love how this book cover is lighting up my feed – so happy for my (our) friends who are in it!

  22. Yeah I told that bish not to go to Thailand and the bish went. He forgot one thing: blue balls travels the oceans and my powers run deep. Wait until he returns – WITH jewelry. He knows he will not be entering this house without at least a set of earrings and a necklace to match. Bring on the war! Congrats on the book love 🙂 I’m sure it will be outstanding! Happy Hump Day! -Iva

      1. Lies! You always have good stories 🙂 Lol Oh I will!!! This JUST happened – as in he’s there RIGHT NOW… Told me while I was in Vegas – I told him to stay domestic or go to one of the nearby Islands. Now I’m worried about his dumb a$$ in Thailand. Jerk. Lol.

  23. Funny – I know that everyone thinks he is the perfect guy (and he is pretty dang close) but sometimes that makes my life harder. He never gets mad which makes me look like a psycho sometimes. Oh well, I’m keeping him and he is stuck with me:)

  24. Scarlet is super cute in that little chair! I think I only know like 2 bloggers on that list! This seems like it was a funny book to write for. Hmmm…..Harroll almost never gets mad. I’m usually the one. But I can’t think of anything right now. He makes me crazy in all sorts of fun and interesting ways. 🙂

  25. Hmm, I don’t think we clash or have real loud arguments. Before it gets ‘nasty’ at least one of us shuts up – possibly not the best way to ‘deal’ with things, but, hey, we are long standing singles, married pretty late, so we got to have our own ways. A bit. Right?!
    That book sounds like fun, though, I have to look out for it 🙂
    p.s. you totally lost me on all that Yankees, Red Sox stuff. Baseball, right? I so have got no clue about baseball and football and watching sport. I’d rather ‘do’ sport myself – LOL

    1. Of course you have your own things! And that’s what works for you. As for the baseball talk I did have to laugh. Where you live is probably Yankees nation. No I think it’s Red Sox nation. Yankees land? I guess I have no idea!

  26. I think that your squabble with Cassidy sounds perfectly legitimate, but maybe that’s because I am from a place where sports is king.

    And seriously, whenever I write a book, I want you to be the reviewer. You could make me want to read the phonebook.

    1. Maybe I will review the phonebook next! I haven’t even reviewed this yet, so thank you for that. I think I have to wait until November 3 when it comes out.

  27. For some reason its hard for me to share the arguments that my husband and I have, they happen, quite often like every other couple out there but I just don’t feel compelled to share–like I do with everything else.

    That Don Zimmer debacle made me SO angry. as a die hardddd yankee fan, I wanted to strangle pedro…whew, that was buried in my memory and just reading about it made me wanna throw something!

    1. So true, Nellie. They happen over here for sure. I don’t share them, along with my political leanings (which are probably obvious) and I don’t talk a lot about religion.
      I’m so glad you are with me about Don Zimmer!

  28. I’m a big Yankee fan and thinking about the Pedro and Don Zimmer incident still makes me mad! And that they came back from a 0-3 deficit to win the play-offs! Sorry. Now that that’s off my chest, congrats Tamara on this new book!! So excited for you! I can only imagine all the stories in here.

    1. haha, you and Nellie both!!
      Sadly, I’m not in this book. I really wanted to be but I couldn’t think of a good enough story for a book! Maybe the next anthology!

  29. We could probably reference the time I bought a whole tub of fresh mozzarella for my dinner, and you ate the whole thing before I could even get one piece!

  30. I think you an cassidy could have co-wrote an argument. 🙂 I was amused just by the above comments. Thank you for posting. BTW I think you need to publish a photography book (I told you that before) xoxox

  31. My family is full of Cowboys’ fans, while my husband’s family cheers for the Giants. I think that if either side had been Redskins fans, we would have had more issues. Thankfully we call all agree to hate the Redskins together!

  32. Yay, another NorCal blogger! I’ll definitely have to check her out. My beauty tip would be to exfoliate/scrub your lips (like with Lush or homemade w/ brown sugar & olive oil) before wearing lipstick! It makes the world of difference and taste delicious too!

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