It’s a little funny to be talking about this upcoming book, mainly because I wanted to be a part of it. I wanted that so badly. I have tasted what it’s like to be a co-author of a book, and of course I want that to happen many more times in my life.
However, today we’re talking about something else. I honestly could not think of a single story I could write. Cassidy and I have many cold wars and chilling arguments, but do we have anything lighter and more funny to talk about? In fact, we do!
It was fall of 2004. The Yankees & the Red Sox. You see, my entire family is comprised of diehard Yankees fan. Cassidy’s family is comprised of Red Sox fans. Me? I never really cared much, preferring to stay home with a good book or a good friend when my entire family hoofed it out to Yankees Stadium, where they witnessed a woman vomit out of her car window, in a city that scares me, and I think the team lost. So there was that. Moving along, one day I cared. You know what it was? It was when Pedro Martinez knocked over Don Zimmer. I couldn’t handle that. I struggle enough with caring about sports because as much as I love the thought of something that keeps you warm all winter, or interested all summer, it’s too uncomfortable or boring for me to watch sports. I don’t like caring so much about something I have no control over. It’s more about that than anything. And no matter whether it was warranted or not, I couldn’t handle watching that angry older man get knocked over.
Back to the clash story. Cassidy and I were in a long distance relationship and he was visiting during the finals, or whatever you call it, before the World Series. He was at my parent’s Yankees household when the Red Sox came back from a 0–3, best-of-seven deficit to beat the Yankees in the 2004 American League Championship Series. He screamed out, “YES!” And then my dad quickly shut off the TV in disgust before Cassidy could revel in the glory and watch the crowd celebrate. I couldn’t believe how upset I was. I didn’t want to hear about it. After our brutal breakup only weeks later, I wanted so badly for the Red Sox to lose. They didn’t. I haven’t cared so much since, and maybe I never will, unless an old man is knocked down.
Coupledom. Fact or fable, Adam and Eve birthed the perpetual relationship drama as seen on TV today. Despite the serpents, this couple HAD IT MADE. Luxury real estate, lush gardens, and privacy out the yin-yang. Life was glorious until the bare-bottomed babe could no longer resist temptation. Despite her better half’s warnings and threats to sleep in a tree, she tasted the forbidden fruit. One bite of that seductive, juicy contraband and the stage was set for eternity— a nibble that has blossomed into an endless supply of tiny tidbits that divide lovers to this day!
Taking a cue from the naked explorers of authentic sin, Clash of the Couples is a new anthology featuring a collection of completely absurd lovers’ squabbles and relationship spats. Think couples fight over kids, sex, and money? Think again! Furniture, the last beer, and where to store the placenta are what genuinely ignite our feuds. And no argument is off limits. This book has it all!
Inside you’ll find a gut-busting compilation of stories such as: “I Can’t Believe You Ate My Sandwich,” “Never Assume Anything,” “Only I Can Talk About Me,” and “You Want Some College Boobs?” from forty-three fearless writers. Prepare to laugh, roll your eyes, and shiver in suspense. While Eve may have had the first bite, we ate the whole tree. And made pies.
Published by Blue Lobster Book Co., Clash of the Couples launches loudly and obnoxiously on November 3, 2014. You’ll hear us coming, but look for it on Amazon, B&N, Apple, and other places where you typically buy books. For instant updates, follow along on Facebook!
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Camille DeFer Thompson of Camille DeFer Thompson
Kimberly Morand of Anchor Magazine: Navigating Depression, Bipolar, and Anxiety
Meredith Napolitano of From Meredith to Mommy
Chris Dean of pixie.c.d.
Linda Roy of elleroy was here
Kevin Zelenka of Double Trouble Daddy
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R.C. Liley of Going Dad
Mary Widdicks of Outmanned
Marie Bollman of Make Your Own Damn Dinner
Ginny Marie of Lemon Drop Pie
Mike Reynolds of Puzzling Posts
Leigh-Mary Hoffmann of Happily Ever Laughter Blog
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Lynn Shattuck of The Light Will Find You
Jeff Bogle of Out With The Kids
Stacey Gustafson of Are You Kidding Me?
Angela Godbout of FRaPS
Courtney Conover of The Brown Girl with Long Hair
Jenny Hills of Express Bus Mama
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Jessica Azar of Herd Management
Susan A. Black of I Like That
Dave Lesser of Amateur Idiot Professional Dad
Sarah del Rio of est. 1975
Nicole R. Wildhood of Naught Be All Else
Angela Keck of Writer Mom’s Blog
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Brian Sorrell of Dadding Full Time
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April Grant of 100lb Countdown
Bev Feldman of Linkouture
Jodi Flaherty of The Noise of Boys
Scott Rigdon of Three Five Zero
Lydia Richmond of Cluttered Genius
Allie Burdick of VITA – Train for Life
Michelle Grewe of Crumpets and Bollocks
Barb Godshalk of Co-Author of Tall Tales and Short Stories from South Jersey
Jonathon Floyd of One Funny Daddy
Amanda Mushro of Questionable Choices in Parenting
Chris Carter of The Mom Cafe