When it’s Time to Upgrade Your Husband

The REAL photo(s) behind the story here is so hilarious, that I couldn’t start the post with it.

I simply had to build suspense. And despite this post’s racy title, I promise you it’s all in good fun, like the story behind the photo. I don’t even know where to start so I’ll go back to the beginning. Several weeks ago, Cassidy’s Office Manager texted me about yet another co-worker of theirs. This guy had pulled Cassidy’s name in the office Secret Santa exchange and had a funny idea to run by me. I was distracted at the time but always up for helping a gift cause. (I wouldn’t necessarily say good cause here, unless humor is your cause) And then I got the text. It was his co-worker, Chris, who I knew from our family Passover Seder, and all around good guy. He had seen Cassidy walking out of work one day and been struck with the thought.

What if he stole his boss’ life? Wouldn’t that start with his wife? And kids..

(Don’t be offended if you didn’t get this card. No one did! They were a month late!)

So, Chris asked me if I’d be willing to take a family photo with him. Of course I would! We went back and forth awhile and then found a free afternoon. We met at Look Park and he brought along another co-worker to be the photographer. We’d planned on wearing ugly sweaters and he brought Santa hats. I happened to have Astro in the car with me anyway – since we’re co-dependent like that – so I thought it would be hilarious to include him! So real! And Scarlet had the idea to get a cheesy and corny frame for the photo. Chris confessed that his mom thought it was in poor taste and that he’d get fired!

Ready to see the photos behind the story?

photo share

The way he did the second frame – to enlarge the photo of the evil face he was making after stealing his boss’ family – is pure comic gold. He texted me the photos after he had made them, but that was weeks ago. I was so worried one of the kids would spill the beans to Cassidy. I only told my mom, my sister, and one of my favorite bakers because she knows the woman who had taken the photos for us. And I was so nervous the night of the party – last Friday. I hate keeping juicy secrets. When it was time for Cassidy to open the gift, I had butterflies in my stomach! His co-worker took a video but all you really need to know is that Cassidy thought it was hilarious, and that he loves commitment to a bit. He didn’t fire Chris!

That said, I came over to congratulate Chris on a job well done after the gift exchange, and he was texting his mom to reassure her that Cassidy thought it was funny. And that is the story behind the photos. Cassidy and I still had a great date.

Despite the fact that Chris stole us.

photo share

This is me linking up, as one of my favorite things to do, with Finish The Sentence Friday. This week’s topic is Photo Share Friday And there’s still time to write yours. Come link up with your spin: HERE. What’s your photo? What’s its story?

So, have you ever been part of a joke like this?

I’ll Be Dreaming My Dreams With You

10 gifts from my childhood is the #writingprompt. And there's still time to write yours. Come link up with your spin of the 10 gifts of your childhood!

I just have one thing to say, or really, is it 10 things to say?

Maybe it’s 11 things. The first thing, not to be written in list form below, is that we have Hamilton: An American Musical tickets for this weekend. Enter all kinds of mild freak-outs about how bad I can be about anticipating big things, and about crowds and emotions and dark rooms in which anything can happen. The room where it happens, if you will. And then enter all kinds of thoughts about my kids and their life dreams, and how many nine-year-olds do you know that see Harry Potter: The Cursed Child back to back with Hamilton: An American Musical? I mean, really! I saw Tommy when I was 14, though.

That was cool.

10 gifts from my childhood is the #writingprompt. And there's still time to write yours. Come link up with your spin of the 10 gifts of your childhood!

Not to mention, that Scarlet had already seen six moose by her 7th birthday, and Des by his 3rd. That said, he was two at the time and doesn’t remember. Scarlet, though. She remembers everything. All the things you don’t want her to remember – like getting her hand stuck in the minivan door – and all the things you do want her to remember. Like fulfilling dreams.

And there are still so many dreams out there for us – like pixie dust swirling in the atmosphere. Just grab it.

Although I never saw back-to-back Broadway shows, and I didn’t even see moose or feel the California sun until just before my 24th birthday, that doesn’t mean I don’t admire where I came from and what it was like. Despite having an early childhood tragedy – and the worst one at that – it really was the only early life I knew. And then the only developing life I knew/have known/know now. I left New Jersey for places closer to my ski lodge loving heart, but am filled with the weight of all the love and experiences and moments it gave me. I take those gifts with me through life. And I carry them with me.

10 Gifts from my Childhood:

1 – Getting high on life. I don’t know where it came from – was it my mother, my father, my grandmother, or just me? Was it everything – and some sort of collective unconscious, deep sigh of gratitude and relief – for simple things, and for sweeping things? Whatever it is, I’ve made it my own brand and I’m sticking to it. I couldn’t tell you where and when it started, but one of my most vivid memories was during 5th grade math. We were using some sort of counting wheel and went out for a stroll during a spring day to use it. The grass was green and fragrant, the birds were singing, the sky was so blue, and it hit me. It took my breath away – that giddy, dizzying feeling of being ALIVE. Later in life it would hit me, and hit me hard.

Full body shakes and sensations. I wouldn’t give it up for anything.

2 – An elevated or just sick sense of humor. Call it dry, call it wet, call it what you will – we have it in spades. My grandmother once said we all used it as a coping mechanism, and an effective one at that. And I just had to smile.

3 – An ability to tune out anything. Whether that’s good or bad, I’m not bothered by sights and sounds and even smells, unless I’m pregnant (then all bets are off). I was born a deep sleeper, but I call it survival. Having four loud siblings and sharing walls? I had to learn to read and sleep and eat and dream while hopelessly oblivious to the world around me.

I will say that I cannot do it or even sleep if I’m around people I’ve deemed as “unsafe.”

4 – A deep love of good classic rock. Of course the music my parents played in the house and in the car is the music we all crave these days. Funny how that happens. Although Scarlet already likes my music. Where’s the rebellion??

This song is like whoa and magic.

5 – From my childhood, I learned that having pets – within reason – is super important to me. Although it’s limiting in our household. Nothing that belongs in the air or in the water or in a cage. No pellet poop and nothing that dies easily.

6 – I also learned from my childhood that annual family trips are important. We do Cape Cod and Florida and sometimes they’re barely trips and barely vacations and barely sanity, but you need to break up your years with touches of magic.

7 – One of the gifts of my childhood is sibling and cousin and uncle and aunt and niece and nephew love. Nothing like it.

8 – My parents taught us to have open minds. And trust me – they didn’t get all that from their families of origin! My mom used to joke that it was a waste that she was raising five heterosexual kids because we always had an open-hearted, open-minded place to call home. It takes all kinds in this crazy world. Why oh why would you think people were more or less than you, based on their age, race, sex, orientation, identity, income, religion, etc. Here’s the thing. That’s not how it works.

And I’ve been getting high on life since the 1980s in New Jersey so I know a thing about a thing, I do.

9 – From my childhood, I learned kindness. And the way you treat people in public (and in private). That stuff sticks. I watched it and my kids watch it. “Quick” story. In 2004 after I had just met Cassidy I said bye and drove home from JFK.

As I got to that horrible Goethals Bridge/Verrazano Bridge area, I realized too late that I had no cash on me and no EZPass. I was so incredibly out of it that I tried to drive through a gated EZPass lane. So I stopped short and backed out of that lane (incredibly illegal) and was instantly pulled over by a cop. I had illegally backed up, I had no money to pay the toll, my registration wasn’t current (!!) and I couldn’t even find my proof of insurance. Seriously could have spent a night in jail. Two cops were there, a male and female, the female yelling at me and running off to write me what she said were “multiple tickets!” I sat calmly and waited. The male cop came back to me with just a simple question. “Why are you so nice?” I stuttered out a response, “Uh..nice? My mom, I guess.” He told me I could go home and kiss my mom because my niceness just got me out of EVERY SINGLE TICKET. He let me go without even paying, with all that I did illegally. A photo from it:

10 – Dreaming my dreams with you. I’m from a long line of generations of strong men and women fulfilling life dreams and taking names. I’m not sure I am one in the full capacity, but I sure am raising one. Here’s to dreams, and to all of you.

This is me linking up, as one of my favorite things to do on a Friday, with Finish The Sentence Friday. This week’s topic is “10 gifts from my childhood” And there’s still time to write yours. Come link up with your spin: HERE.

What would you say?