With the country and the world, I am almost out of words? With myself, I’ve been hiding away – in bubble baths and vats of bleach (slight exaggeration) because the Norovirus is on the rise around here. That’s mostly why Des was home with me today. He’s fine, so far, but Thursdays are good days to keep away from all the kid germs. We took care of ourselves with errands, blankets, matching UConn shirts, french fries, and reading books under late morning window light. True love.
Yesterday was a doozy of a day. I woke up with a mildly upset stomach because I had a morning appointment and then a two hour dental appointment. It was the full range of x-rays, a dental exam, a cleaning, and then a surprise ending, because they had a last minute no-show while I happened to be making a future appointment to fix an air bubble in my tooth near an old filling. Fun times, right? I was fixing to leave the office, and the next thing I knew, I was lying on an expensive chair having her tell me to breathe in and out slowly while sticking my gums with a large needle. I stared out the window the whole time.
Then I had to pick up three kids – my own and a last minute spare – while half of my face was numb, and I hadn’t actually eaten anything since 10pm the previous night. 17 hours! Then there was dinner and valentine errands. Then.. self-care time. For me, that generally includes 20 minutes in a warm bubble bath with a book. Or one or the other. We need to take care of ourselves right now, more than ever. The news can drive you crazy. Your friends can drive you crazy. Your family too.
Today I woke up to take the kids to school and ran into a snowbank in our driveway. A piece of the plastic casing of the car got loose, the screws went all over the driveway, and I had to drive to school and back with a long piece of the car dragging into the street and making a horrific sound! I already show up to school, always dangerously close to being late, and wearing donut leggings. If I’m trying to hide in the shadows, I’m doing an awful job of it. So I guess I’ll just come into the light – flaws and all. Curves and edges. Novocaine face and half my car dragging out behind me. Oh, hiii! Here I am, and I am FIERCE.
Another thing I do for self care is to write. Generally, it doesn’t make me feel better. If anything, it makes me feel worse because it stirs up the darkness and the light – and everywhere they swirl together. It kicks up dirt and spits it in my face. You’re wondering why I do it, right? It’s because if I keep doing it, eventually it doesn’t just kick up dirt and spit it in my face. It begins to wash it away – slowly at first. A fingertip through the dust and dirt and decay. Then two. Then it’s ten fingers furiously wiping away the dirt and spit and you begin to see something new underneath it all. It almost.. shines?
And so, that’s what I do. If I didn’t, the dirt would add layer after layer, after caked-on layer. And would I be able to see clearly under all that mess? Probably not. I read and I write and I sit in the bath, and I read and I write, sometimes in the bath, and all of it takes away the layers upon layers of dirt and grime and germs and muck and turmoil and decay.
You know what else I do for self care? Photography. It often makes me feel frustrated and down. I feel like a two-bit hack all the time. (I don’t know what two-bit even means, but I love the term) Lenses break. Cameras fall. They don’t have half their junk dragging on the ground like my car, but hey. My camera is my shield and screen, but it also draws me closer. It’s my magnet. It’s from my heart. Inside and out. Outside and in. These are all from over a year ago, but they tell some stories.
This is me linking up, as one of my favorite things to do, with Finish The Sentence Friday. This week’s topic is “When it comes to self care…” And there’s still time to write yours. Come link up with your spin on the matter: HERE.