7 Ways You (Yes, You) Can Bond With Your Cat (Yes, Your Cat)

Please allow me to indulge myself you with photos I took of my cat yesterday.

bond with your cat

cat bonding

Couldn’t you just eat her?

Now I am someone who NEVER thought she’d ever have a cat, much less want to eat one. Special note: I don’t really want to eat my cat. As I write this, Juniper – our 11-month-old kitten – is next to my computer – watching me type. When I woke up this morning, she was sleeping between my knees. I felt the weight and heat of her while still in my sleep and dreams, and then woke up to find us all snuggled together on this cold, spring morning. I have to say – it’s moments like this that make me realize that my heart is big enough to love dogs AND cats. They bring different personality traits, tasks, concerns, joys, and pros and cons to the table, I’m sure, but pet love is love. And love is love. STRONG. We take care of each other every day.

cat bonding

Then I found out that bonding is REAL! You can’t change your pet’s personality, just like you wouldn’t with a person (nor would you want to), but you can change your relationship to introduce and maintain trust, respect, bonding, and love. How? Good care, good play, and a good cat massage roller. Yes, a cat massage roller. We will get to that one, though. I took VIDEO!

Awhile back, I worked with my vet and our kitten adoption counselor to make this list for you:

Do you know that you can bond with your cat? When I found this out, it changed my relationship with my adorable cat. Here are 7 tips to bond with your cat!

1 – Play with your cat every day. So many days pass me by and I am too busy or I forget, but luckily she reminds me. When I go away, even for one night, she’s more affectionate than ever when I get back. I think she misses the play! My vet recommends 10-15 minutes of play a day to keep the cat healthy, at a good weight, and bonded to us. She loves feathered toys, balls, catnip, and stuffed mice. She gets tired after playing, and I know that’s when it’s time to stop for awhile.

2 – Let your cat come to you. And they do! They really do! Cats are funny this way, though. They generally need to issue you an invitation first, or they may feel that their personal space is being invaded. Allow your cat to take the lead!

bond with your cat

3 – Make sure your cat is comfy at home, and feels “at home” – this will enable more bonding for sure. Provide your cat with warmth, food, clean water, toys, a bed, and a litter box. Give your cat a room or designated space in the home. Choose your cat litter wisely because the products you choose for your cat are a direct reflection of how much you care.

4 – Learn cat body language and use your own to convey emotions. My vet says that cats don’t like direct stares, which might explain why cats always loved me way before I warmed to them – I wasn’t interested in staring at them, so they were more interested in approaching me. I lie down with Juniper while she’s relaxed and blink at her a few times. Generally she blinks back and then looks away. If she doesn’t look away, I look away. Somehow this makes her more relaxed with me!

cat bonding

5 – Ease them into transitions. Transitions are inevitable, but we all hear stories about cats not adjusting well to other pets, new babies, house moves, etc. Do adjustments gradually and slowly, with your cat in mind. Stay calm.

6 – Learn both good and bad cat signs. If a cat bumps you with her head or rear, kneads on you, licks you, or gums you, these are signs he or she is bonding. If your cat has puffed up fur, an arched back, flattened ears, or dilated pupils, these are signs of cat aggression.

bond with your cat(What do her ears say here?)

7 – Brush and massage your cat! Many cats enjoy this, and it creates happy feelings of safety and comfort, while also helping to keep their coats free of dirt and flakes. Our cat is short-haired so we use a metal comb recommended by our vet.

We also use a Cat Massage Roller from Kooky Kittens – they have all sorts of unique products for cats.

cat bonding

She has no idea what’s coming to her!

cat bonding

Now, she knows!

how to bond with cat

Ahh.. that’s the stuff.

For your enjoyment, I made a video too:

One Last Tip on How to Bond With Cats:

*Know your cat’s personality! Cats aren’t dependent on us the way dogs are. While our bonds can be strong, all cats are different. Some may need affection 24/7. Some may need very little affection. To truly bond with your cat, know and respect the personality he or she was born with.

This is not a sponsored post and I received no compensation or reward for it – except my own chocolate shamrock reward for committing to writing every day – but Kooky Kittens did send me these handy dandy Cat Massage Rollers and we love them.

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  1. I bet my cats would love that massage roller! Most of our cats do like to be brushed. Cats are quite mysterious…they take their time, that’s for sure. It’s taken years but now I have a cat that waits to be picked up and brought to bed, and often sleeps in the crook of my arm. And another who comes up in the morning after breakfast (my husband gets up way earlier than me) for a little attention and belly rubs. My big boy likes to hang out with me at the computer, and the littlest girl jumps on your lap when she wants attention. They definitely all have such different personalities!

    1. That is so cute! Junie is only a year old so I am not positive about any lifelong quirks yet. She does like to sleep in my lap like it’s a bowl and if she finds me sleeping that way with my legs bent, she’ll sleep there!

  2. OK Ok, I’ve never really been a cat person. I like dogs, I always thought cats had too much personality. That is until I met Jamaica. Oh yes, she’s sassy, but she’s oh so sweet. I can totally see myself getting a cat in the near future. Great pictures, as always, Tamara 🙂 You can tell Juniper loves this Massage Roller.

  3. You know this is right up my alley! Ms.Casbah reigns supreme in the Hector household. That massage roller would send her into cat heaven. As it is, she demands brushing and massaging nightly and gets very vocal about it. Ms. Juniper is a cutie!

  4. Juniper reminds me so much of my Stripes. She’s so laid back. She would sit there and get all up in your face. Those are all tips that I currently use with her. She’s my eldest cat and I’m cat watching while she’s away at college, but she may not get her back. 🙂 I may have to look into Kooky Kittens and see what I can find there for her.

  5. So cute!! And kitty loves it! Going to share this with my friend who has a certain bond with her cat, unlike any other I’ve seen before. Adorable 🙂

  6. I often wake up to my cat snuggled against my side. And when I wake up in the morning he follows me into the living room. He’s definitely a human-loving cat! I’m sure he’d love that massager as well 😉

    1. That’s like Juniper and me! Although I wish she was more like that with the kids. Then maybe I could try to get another cat just for me!

  7. I don’t have a cat, but I have my cat-like-dog. 🙂 Although, I’m quite certain my dog would attack the roller. 🙂 So, I guess he is a dog-like dog after all.

  8. I loved having cats when I was growing up. My husband is allergic, but my mom has two kittens so I get my fix when I go to her house!

  9. I’ve got a kitten about 4 months old (now he is 6). Since then I’ve been trying tl bond with him, but I don’t think I’m suceeding. I play with him everyday at least once a day, I give treats and take care of him since he arrived here, but it seems we don’t bond. For no reason he only stays in one room (all the doors in the house are kept open) and if I don’t go there and stimulates him to play, he don’t reach me for playing. He does not sleep (or take a nap during the day) not even near me, just in “his” bedroom. It seems like a teenager (only appears for eating and then shuts down).
    3 weeks ago I got another kitten about 2,5 months (a female). When she arrived she was very cuddling and it seems she liked to sleep in our lap, but not anymore. Although she sleeps in the bed and watch tv wih us she does not seems to be a lap cat anymore (I don’t force any of then, she initialy sponteneously looked for lap but then she stopped). Both cats seems very connected with each other but not to me. When the female kitten try to be near me the other cat starts to meowing in the other room to attract her to go there and stay there with him. She is only near when the older cat is sleeping. I’m starting to feel resented as it seems the older cat dominates the little one and it only shows signs of affection when he is hungry.

  10. Pamela from way of cats blog has a lot of tips on how to bond with cats and read their behaviour, I highly recommend her site! It has helped me tremendously!

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