It’s the End of the World As We Know It (And I Don’t Feel Fine)

Sometimes the living’s so easy, and sometimes it’s so hard.

This one is so hard to write that it’s like I’m stuttering. I pushed it away for so long but the truth is – I’m about to head to DC at the crack of dawn – so I’m treating this like a 5 minute freewriting Finish the Sentence Friday, even though it’s nothing of the sort! One thing on my mind lately, and a reality I’d change is to make the world a more fair and peaceful place, with that right balance of opening your heart to the good, but not desensitizing to the bad. Maybe it’s acknowledging the sad and bad and dreadful – in palatable bites – not too much, and not too little. As much as you can take. Move on. And move up.

As much as you can take, and repeat. Several times, or maybe forever.

Sometimes it’s hard to live and love freely in this world. It’s war and peace and war and change and racism and cruelty. Judgement and miscarriages and people within the same family who think so differently about politics, that it’s actually disgusting. It’s like how different religions have different theories about heaven, but they mish and mash and overlap and go in some strange directions too. And you know it’s true what I’m about to say. We can’t all be right. In fact, many of us are probably wrong. So let’s start being right with love and peace and fairness and thought. Let’s lock eyes and not look away.

Sometimes it’s the mundane against the extreme. Managing sensitivities and/or mental illness against a world in which the fears are coming true. Natural disasters and shake-ups and terrifying politicians and divorces left and right. I don’t know how to tell my kids that I always feared loss of a parent and tornados and earthquakes. I feared that people would think the way they did during the most terrifying wars and events in our history. I’ve always been afraid of bad guys with guns, and good guys with guns, and that sloppily drawn line in the middle, because no one is black and white – not even me. When it comes down to it, what side am I on? Who will I fight for? Could I be terrifying too? Will I not only survive, but thrive here?

Could I? Yes. Of course.

I do know how to tell my kids that I always believed in the enormity and painful beauty of the human condition and experience. I do know how to tell them that I always believed in myself, and that I believe in them. And I do know how to tell them to jump without a parachute, sometimes, to leap without looking down, and to love without limits. What could we accomplish if we weren’t our own worst enemies, and sometimes each other’s too? I can tell them that I became a writer and a photographer and a mama, because I was born to find the beauty and strength in this world. It’s everywhere. It’s dazzling. We can work not to mute its colors or steal its light. And we can work not to mute anyone’s colors or steal anyone’s light or right to breathe this air, capture this beauty, leap without looking down, and to love without limits.

I’m in. Are you?

“Eye of a hurricane, listen to yourself churn
World serves its own needs
Don’t mis-serve your own needs
Speed it up a notch, speed, grunt, no, strength
The ladder starts to clatter
With a fear of height, down, height
Wire in a fire, represent the seven games
And a government for hire and a combat site
Left her, wasn’t coming in a hurry
With the Furies breathing down your neck”

This is me linking up, as one of my favorite things to do, with Finish The Sentence Friday. This week’s topic is “A reality I’d like to change is…” And there’s still time to write yours. Come link up with your spin: HERE.

So, what would you say?

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