I’m a little too contrary to do this post, which makes it even better! I’m half egotistical and half full of cripplingly low self-esteem/lack of confidence, but here we are. This is me. Sometimes I think I’m smarter than the majority of the world, generally when driving or walking or otherwise trying to navigate this world, but mostly I think I’m not. I remember thinking I was movie star pretty when I was 11 and I can quite assuredly tell you that it wasn’t the case, although such things are subjective, I know. And you know that sometimes I think I’m the ugliest person ever.
It’s all very strange – these opposing, healing, and sometimes mentally ill forces in my brain duking it out. Just like that. Some things change and some things stay the same, and I guess my top ten list of things I love about myself are intrinsic Tamara qualities. They’re not going anywhere, I should think, if I have any say in the matter. And I DO! The other great thing is that they’re not going anywhere even if I don’t have a say in the matter. Like I said, they’re Tamara qualities. Even the extrinsic ones don’t seem to be going anywhere too fast, at least not yet.
10 Things I Love About Myself:
1 – I don’t experience time as going by fast. In fact, I feel like a wise elder sometimes – like I’ve lived too long, or several lifetimes already. This is probably funny because I’m in my 30s. And yes I sometimes think, “Wow, it’s already May? Where did April go? I swear it rained the whole time!” Let me say, though, that I’ve been on two week trips that felt like two decades. I’d like to believe it’s all the brain activity and growth happening, or at least that’s what I tell myself.
2 – My hair. This one is funny and it’s because Scarlet thought I’d say this. My hair and nails grow really fast. This can be good, but also bad, but majority good. My hair is super thick and CAN be tamed, when I want it to be. It CAN be straight and it can be curly and it can be glossy too.
3 – Hey, I’m doing what I love for work! That doesn’t mean it’s easy, people! If anything, it’s harder. Super hard! That said, I’m currently planning a dream trip to California in June for work and I just packed Des’ suitcase for our giant press weekend at Great Wolf Lodge tomorrow.
4 – My fast metabolism and limberness. Is limberness a word? I’ll file them both under not going anywhere.. yet. I have a fast metabolism, at least for now, and my eating habits are mainly healthy ones – like eating slowly, only eating until I’m 70% full, and having bigger breakfasts than lunches and dinners. Dinners.. Hrmph. Gateway to dessert, I say. And I love carbs.
5 – I both hate and love my depth and intensity. One can argue that having what is probably the worst thing to happen to a kid – the sudden death of a parent – at a young age might make me unlucky. The overthinking and brain twisting and thinking about life frequencies that I have no business thinking about (but do), are rough sometimes, but I suppose I wouldn’t change it either. Despite hardships, I still know utter joy, humor, kindness, and love.
6 – I was raised by my parents to be open-minded and open-hearted. And I’m passing it on.
7 – When I want something – and I mean really want something – nothing stops me from getting it. Except, of course, the permission or requited love or lust of another person. Mostly, though, that hasn’t been a problem in the long run because my love is few and far between, but true, and they can tell the difference. My family has always known when I don’t really want something – because I can’t be bothered to care. There is no in between. I admire the fire.
8 – When I was a kid, whenever I forgot my homework, we’d have an assembly and miss that class that day. Every time. Whenever I’d miss a campus bus at Rutgers, another one would be right behind it, even though they were supposed to be 15 minutes apart, but never really were. For me, at least. I don’t know if I believe people are charmed, at least by any doing but their own, and I do believe in luck, but basically I think positivity begets positivity. If you’re expecting great things to happen and you do your part in spreading great things into the universe, it comes back. Either that or some of us have excellent senses of timing and/or perspective.
9 – I love my photography and writing instincts, and the fact that no matter what stumps me or blocks me or technically cripples me, those inner instincts and drives are fierce and sometimes I just have to wait and hit my own refresh button and they come tumbling forth. Every time.
10 – I love that I’m still pretty much made up of the same childlike wonder and imagination that I have had since babyhood. I think it’s here to stay and I’m ridiculously happy about that.
- “Your boobs!” (I mean.. sometimes? They sustained life and are still defying gravity.)
“The way you love rainbow sprinkles and will do anything for them!” (even beg and steal?)
“Your eyes!” (I like how they’ve changed color throughout my life, and still do so.)
I’m linking up with Finish The Sentence Friday for another thought-provoking topic. This week’s topic is “I love these things about myself..” And there’s still time to write yours. Link up HERE.