The Squishy Mushy Heart Feeling

I used to cry when I looked at Scarlet’s newborn baby socks.

And this was when she was a newborn. Although I had never before experienced the achy and exhilarating experience of growing a child.. outside the womb.. of course I knew how insane it all is. How you can break down in tears when they release you from the hospital, because your new real life has barely started, and you’re already nostalgic for those first days and moments of getting to know your child. It starts so soon. The rapid passage of time. And how it takes your breath away.

The feeling is a feeling I've felt for most, if not all, of my life. My mom and sister get it, Cassidy gets it, and I explained it to Scarlet the other day.

You know, from about one until age four, Scarlet used to push a toy shopping cart and a doll stroller all through the house. She’d shuffle along in mismatched clothing and a winter hat. Raggedy hair and a lopsided gait. Is it terrible to say that she reminded me of the many shopping cart homeless people I’ve seen? It gave me a specific feeling. It’s all so squishy and mushy and gushy. What is more innocent and amazing than a toddler pushing squeaky-wheeled metal and plastic toys – meant to emulate real, adult contraptions – ’round and ’round the house? With messy hair and glazed eyes. The feeling:

The feeling is a feeling I've felt for most, if not all, of my life. My mom and sister get it, Cassidy gets it, and I explained it to Scarlet the other day.

The feeling is a feeling I’ve felt for most, if not all, of my life. My mom and sister get it, Cassidy gets it, and I tried explaining it to Scarlet the other day, and she’s starting to get it too. It’s a spontaneous heartbreak of mysterious origin that occurs when viewing another person’s seemingly mundane actions or belongings. You are touched deep inside in a way that’s difficult to convey. When it happens with strangers, it’s bad and when it happens with people you know and love, it’s worse.

Unbearable, even. Just so. It’s like it drives you to the edge.

The feeling is a feeling I've felt for most, if not all, of my life. My mom and sister get it, Cassidy gets it, and I explained it to Scarlet the other day.

It’s a quick, recurrent heartbreak that occurs from subtle actions and possessions of someone who’s usually a stranger, but isn’t always. My mom gets this squishy feeling when she’s out in public and sees an old person fumbling for their money to purchase something. I get that feeling when I see someone’s glasses fall off. And when I see glasses lying alone and delicate on a table, I get it as well. It’s feeling deeply for someone based on their small actions. Tiny, earthquake heartbreak.

Or feeling deeply for someone from their belongings. Although with the tiny socks, maybe I felt badly for myself.

It’s because I knew I’d have to let her go, little by little, but no one ever thinks about that when their babies are young. You’re not supposed to think like that. Nine years in, I know it’s not even true. I think she’ll always buzz and swarm around me – and be drawn to me – the way it’s been with my mom and my grandmother in every direction possible. We are linked.

And sometimes this feeling comes from more obvious occurrences. My first memory of the squishy feeling was watching a film strip (remember those?!) about good manners in one of the lower grades of elementary school. In the film, some “bad” kids run around an old man in a parking lot until he drops his bag of groceries all over the ground. His lettuce rolls away and his eggs crack onto the pavement. One of the kids who is not a “bad” kid and was just yielding to peer pressure follows his heart and helps the man pick up his groceries. Pretty simple message, right? The rest of my class watched the film, got what they needed from it, and ran out for recess. I cried in the bathroom for 15 minutes. And I cried myself to sleep that night.

The feeling is a feeling I've felt for most, if not all, of my life. My mom and sister get it, Cassidy gets it, and I explained it to Scarlet the other day.

I was haunted by this poor old man dropping his groceries and having them spread out for everyone to see. It was my first major experience with The Feeling. In those same few years, I had a similar experience in the school library when the librarian read us a story about an old woman who loved her pet chicken and this chicken bought her all the happiness in the world and one day it died and she was alone. And some time later, she discovers that the chicken left her a basket of hatched eggs and now she wasn’t alone anymore. This was an illustrated book, and I was destroyed. It’s not often longterm.

Like I said – it’s often, tiny, delicate, mysterious, earthquake heartbreak.

Doesn’t take much to rip us into pieces.

It’s not always that clear and that obvious why I’d be sad. It’s mostly just speculation. Do you get that feeling when, say, you have a house guest and maybe you’re putting towels in your guest room for them and you see their beauty bag or suitcase and all of their personal items or clothes laid out? Or when you see your father’s glasses lying on a book on a table? Or get this one – I get sad when someone gives someone else a gift and even if the gift giver is nowhere in ear shot, my heart breaks if the gift recipient says something negative or unappreciative about the gift. Maybe we got three toasters for our wedding, but I probably wouldn’t even comment on it. And if I thought about each person lovingly buying us a toaster, I’d feel all warm and squishy inside. All I know is that my heart breaks for others sometimes – maybe for no reason at all.

Maybe I’m able to see a hidden truth about humans in these seemingly subtle occurrences. And maybe it hurts for a reason.

Do you get the feeling too?

6 New Age Ideas for a Comfortable and Cozy Bedroom

Guys, it’s that time of year again for me!

I’m talking the start of gardening season and real estate photography. Both are a pretty big deal in my world, so I’m excited to share these tips for a comfy and cozy bedroom! I’m excited to collaborate with Plantscape Inc. to bring you these tips!

The bedroom of any house is probably the most important room. It is the room where you rest and relax after a long and tiring day. 6 tips for a cozy bedroom

6 New Age Ideas for a Comfortable and Cozy Bedroom

The bedroom of any house is probably the most important room. It’s the room where you rest and relax after a long and tiring day. It is only natural that you will want your bedroom to be cozy and comfortable and give out a soothing vibe. It is important that you decorate your bedroom in a way so that it helps you to lighten up and unwind after a hard day. Decorating your bedroom can be an expensive affair. However, if your budget is tight, there are several cheap ways as well to make your bedroom décor beautiful. Here are some tips on how to decorate your bedroom to turn it into a comfort zone.

Try Landscape Design:

While decorating your bedroom you can choose to take interior landscape design services. This will give your bedroom a different look. If you are a lover of plants and greenery then you can also try out interior plant service. This will bring in a lush of green in your room and help you to create a soothing atmosphere. You can also go through various interior landscaping ideas and choose the one that suits you the best. You should take professional help in implementing these decorations in your home and give your bedroom a brand new and distinctly different look.

The bedroom of any house is probably the most important room. It is the room where you rest and relax after a long and tiring day. 6 tips for a cozy bedroom

Choose Proper Bedroom Furniture:

Furniture is an integral part of the decoration of any room. It goes without saying that in order to decorate your bedroom you will need to buy proper furniture and arrange them in a beautiful way. The first thing that you should keep in mind while buying and arranging furniture is that you should not stuff your room with furniture. Your bedroom is supposed to remain spacious and has enough space so that you can move around the way you want to.

Go with the basic furniture for your bedroom. Select a large sized bed that will adorn your room. You should be really careful about selecting the bed as you will be sleeping on it daily. Make sure you are in love with the material, color and texture of the bed. After the bed, you should go for some cozy sitting furniture. A bedroom is incomplete without furniture that offers you a comfortable sit. You can go for cozy sofas or chairs. You can adorn them with cushions to make the sitting arrangement even more comfortable. Also, you can use a center table in your bedroom for the purpose of having a drink or eating snacks in your room. You can also put a medium sized book shelf in your bedroom to contain your favorite books.

This will prove to be used to your bed time reading. Moreover, you will also be able to store important documents and other papers in the shelf. You can also put a mirror in your room as you might want to dress up in your bedroom or catch a glimpse of yourself after waking up in the morning. A mirror will also enhance the look of the room.

The bedroom of any house is probably the most important room. It is the room where you rest and relax after a long and tiring day. 6 tips for a cozy bedroom

Paint the Walls of your Bedroom:

Another vital thing in the process of decorating your bedroom is selecting the colors of the walls of the room. If you are someone who loves dark colors then you should paint your walls with bright and vibrant paints. You can also consider painting the opposite walls of the room with contrasting colors. However, make sure that you do not paint your room with dull and boring colors as that will make your room lifeless and you will not be looking forward to returning to your room. So paint your bedroom walls with bright and vibrant colors to create an atmosphere of positivity and liveliness.

Use Wall Décor:

After painting your walls, you can use wall decors to adorn the walls. You can use paintings and artworks on your wall. You can hang your favorite photographs after framing them on your walls. If you happen to be a creative person then you might paint various art works on the wall on your own. You can also use stencils to adorn your walls. Stencils will beautify your walls by adding designs to them. There are many other kinds of decors available in the market and you can buy them according to your budget.

The bedroom of any house is probably the most important room. It is the room where you rest and relax after a long and tiring day. 6 tips for a cozy bedroom

Paint your Doors and Windows:

The door and windows of your bedroom also need equal attention like the walls. You need to paint them with colors of your choice. However, you should make sure that the colors of your doors and windows are in accordance with the colors of your walls. You can also paint the doors and windows in a contrasting shade from what your walls are painted with. Make sure that the door and windows draw equal attention and look equally beautiful in accordance to the room and its setting.

The bedroom of any house is probably the most important room. It is the room where you rest and relax after a long and tiring day. 6 tips for a cozy bedroom

Choose Proper Curtains:

After painting the door and windows of your bedroom, you should put your attention to selecting curtains. You should use both light and heavy drapes for your windows. The heavy drapes will help you to prevent light from entering in your room unless you want it. For the door, you can use a light curtain. You should be careful about selecting the material and the colors of the curtain. Make sure that the curtain colors go well with the colors of the door and windows. You can buy silk curtains as they are shiny material and will look good. However, you can also opt for a cotton curtain for longevity. Cotton curtains also come in various colors and thus you will be able to choose from a variety of products.

Following the above-mentioned tips, you will be able to decorate your bedroom in a grand way. However, the decoration ultimately depends on your budget and on the availability of space in your room. You can modify these tips according to your situation and put them to use. You might also turn creative and indulge in some creative ventures while decorating your bedroom.