La la How the Life Goes On

If you’re wondering what I’m talking about, just Google the lyrics to “Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da” and then you’ll know!

life

Actually, you might not know. Sometimes I don’t even know. The Finish the Sentence Friday prompt this week is, “Hey, June” to the tune of “Hey, Jude” and there are all sorts of similarities between Beatles lyrics and what happens in June.

life

June is the month he was born in, and June is when he will turn five. FIVE. God, that feels so close and so far.

In May, I wrote about how Scarlet got her name and someone asked me to write the same for Des. Of course, I have written it down more than once, but there’s no time like the present. I love to tell people his name – Desmond. Des. Desi. Baby Bear. Noodles. Peter. He answers to all of that. He actually has a friend at school named Peter and I joke about having the real Peter over for a playdate and calling them both Peter. “Peter. No, not you. Peter. Other Peter. Peter, over here!” I’ll be darned if I could tell you why I call him Peter. In fact, Scarlet and the cat both answer to Peter, but the dog does not.

If you’re looking for a story about The Constant and the Archbishop, you’ve come to the right place. If you’re wondering about hunky men on LOST islands, anxiety, “Hey Lucy, I’m home” and finding your grounding, binding, connecting Constant..

..consider me your girl. If you believe in that whole possession thing. I do. And so begins this story:

Desmond is a name we had thought about for Scarlet before we found out she was a girl at 20 weeks. We had thought of Scarlet before there was even an engagement ring, so trust me on this, we pretty much knew she wasn’t to be a Desmond before the ultrasound technician told us so. Desmond is a strong name. It’s not weird but can you say you’ve ever met one?? I know they’re out there but I hadn’t had the pleasure myself until I met my own Desmond. He is such a Desmond to us.

Desmond has a few meanings. Some sources say it means, “man of the world.” Some say it means, “man from south Munstor.” The gaelic meaning is “gracious defender.” The one baby book I bought says it means, “of universe and heavens.”

Cassidy and I are big fans of the show Lost. Cassidy got into it years before me and eventually we settled down to watch every previous episode ever during one particularly long and hard winter. It’s no secret that I fell in love with the character, Desmond Hume. Cassidy also loves Desmond. Nearly every tear I shed during that show was because of the love story between Desmond and Penny. I haven’t had the pleasure of seeing a love story I related more to. Our wedding was even slightly Lost themed, as well as moose and wolf and music themed. For our wedding program, Cassidy made a fake Playbill and we called it “Love” using the Lost logo. We had Dharma-themed props on the wedding tables. The character of Desmond was used in our program. Years ago, Cassidy gave me a t-shirt that said, “Desmond Is My Constant.” Little did I know how true that would one day be. On our wedding ketubah, Cassidy’s brother Sam wrote to us: “Be each other’s constant.”

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“The Constant” is probably my favorite episode of Lost. In it, Desmond jumps between two time frames and is able to make contact with his “constant” – Penny, a lost love who has been searching for him for three years. It’s kinda..spectacular. In the show and in other time travel themed literature, there is the concept of the constant. The constant is something or someone that is present in both timelines. It has to be something you sincerely care about and something you can recognize. Without your constant, and without something solid to attach your mind to, your brain can short-circuit during time travel.

It’s no secret that when I was pregnant with Desmond, I started experiencing some pretty bad anxiety. I was never close to exploring the medication option, partly because I was pregnant and wouldn’t do that, but mainly because there are so many avenues to explore before drugs – yoga, exercise, counseling, etc. I started speaking with a very powerful counselor who offered a lot of support but I’m proud to say I did a lot of the healing work myself. She and I spoke about “constants” – people or places or things to focus on to pull you back from an anxiety episode and to ground you and calm you. I found this to be no coincidence that as we were searching for a baby name, we were talking about real life constants. It doesn’t just exist in time travel. It’s very real. It’s about something solid to attach yourself to, before you lose yourself. There is a way.

My Desmond truly was my constant during my pregnancy because I wanted to stay calm and healthy for him.

Sometime during or after this intense healing, I started writing the love story of how I met Cassidy. I felt so many similarities to the story of Desmond and Penny. Although we didn’t actually time travel, we really did in figurative ways. We had time gaps and places and feelings to revisit, and places and feelings to start anew. At that time, we both agreed simultaneously that we hadn’t found a baby boy name we liked more than Desmond. There weren’t really huge discussions on this. We were pretty magically on the same page with baby names. Always. Maybe a day or two after we had settled on the name, with the agreement that if something more powerful came along, we would use it – another cool Desmond theme came up.

An amazing quote from Desmond Tutu started circulating on Facebook: “I can’t for the life of me imagine that God will say, ‘I will punish you because you are black, you should have been white; I will punish you because you are a woman, you should have been a man; I will punish you because you are homosexual, you ought to have been heterosexual.’ I can’t for the life of me believe that is how God sees things.” –The Most Reverend Desmond Tutu, Archbishop of Cape Town.

And the song “Ob-la-di, Ob-la-da” about Desmond and Molly Jones, was playing at odd times.

And that’s how it came together. Flawlessly. Spiritually. Fully. We knew then and we know now we created a true Desmond. He’s “The Constant.” He’s “The Bishop.” As for his middle name, Blaze, Cassidy suggested it for a first or middle name before Desmond was settled on. We were married by a dear friend, Blase, and I do think of Desmond’s middle name as somewhat of a tribute to him and how awesome he is. He’s a true gift. I think Cassidy and I also love how it sounds.

And Desmond did come blazing into this world.

I’m linking up with Finish The Sentence Friday. This week’s topic is “Hey, June..” You can link up HERE.

How does June make you better, or you make June better? Do you love the Beatles?

5 Things I Wish I Had Known About Parenting

This review was made possible by iConnect and Luvs. I was provided compensation to facilitate this post, but all opinions stated are 100% mine.

Are you a new or expecting parent? Here are 5 things I wish I had known about #parenting as well as #coupons for diapers. Time to stock up! #ad #SharetheLuv

I always knew I wanted to be a mom.

It was never a question, even when I was ridiculously young and couldn’t even begin to conceive of this insane idea of parenting another human. While I couldn’t begin to flesh out the details, even in my mind, there were so many things I “knew”, or thought I did. I remember starting stories with, “One day when I have kids, we’ll..” Or, “I can’t wait to take my kids here one day.” I had it all figured out in my head, or so I thought, but really I knew next to nothing. Except one thing.

I always knew I wanted to be a mom.

parenting

That said, I’m one of five kids, and I remember all of our scattered ages, stages, and phases better than I should! I have incredible long-term memory. I remember when the youngest of us were in diapers. My mom used Luvs Diapers. The packaging has changed, but one thing that hasn’t changed for me is seeing Luvs diapers in my home! My parents always used them for the five of us, and my mom kept the boxes for decades to store baby clothes. She probably still has those boxes!

I remember what the boxes looked like. And now it’s more like this:

spring nursery essentials

Some things change, and others stay the same. I’m seven years into parenting, but the learning curve is steep and powerful. I love talking to my sisters about having babies, and I love knowing that the door hasn’t closed on that part of my life.

5 Things I Wish I Had Known About Parenting:

1 – Kids develop at their own paces. I learned to walk when I was 18 months! Some kids learn at 8! I learned to read at age four. Some kids learn at six or seven. Try to enjoy each milestone, without always thinking about the next one to come.

2 – Have a good sense of humor and embrace the messy chaos, and chaotic messes!

3 – When your baby grows up and you’re at a parent/teacher conference you might glaze over the academic talk just to get to the good stuff: “Is she happy? Is she KIND? Do other kids like her?”

4 – You will parent better if you take the time to do something you love. Regularly. It’s good for you and it’s good for the kids to see you achieving your own happiness. Take breaks. Take breaths. Take it easy on yourself. You’ll need it.

5 – You will go through a LOT of diapers. And diapering is an art form too! Luvs is the official diaper of experienced parents, and they are offering big savings this month! From now until May 27th, you can find this $2 print-at-home coupon from coupons.com. Then it will change to $1 off until 6/10. There will also be a high-value coupon in your Sunday paper – this Sunday, the 28th – for $2 off any one pack or box of Luvs diapers. Don’t miss these big savings!

Use this coupon at any mass, discount, or grocery stores where Luvs Diapers are sold.

No doubt about it, I wish I had known that we’d need a lot of diapers, and that parenting is expensive! Luckily, Luvs is offering great money-saving opportunities. Luvs introduced their new and improved Luvs Ultra Leakguard Diapers with NightLock Plus™, which are softer and more absorbent than before*. They have large stretch tabs for easy fastening, ultra-leakage protection, and a money-back guarantee. Parenthood is a roller coaster ride, and Luvs provide features that both babies and parents need, but for less cost than premium brands. Experienced parents value the things that help them get through long days and make their lives easier. And what’s better than that?

AND, their contoured shape hugs baby for a great fit and a super soft cottony material – gentle on baby’s skin. Here is a $2 off Luvs diapers coupon! Print it at home and use it at any mass, discount or grocery store where Luvs Diapers are sold!

For more information on Luvs diapers, visit www.luvsdiapers.com or their social media channels on Facebook , Twitter and YouTube.

Happy Savings!