Today, I’m leaving Florida on a jet plane, in theory. (weather and airline permitting)
And it’s hard to say yet how I feel about that. It’s hard to imagine what my mood will be like upon re-entering cold and snowy western Massachusetts. In some ways, I just love coming home. In some other ways, I really don’t. In yet other ways in favor of going home, I’m ready to ride out the rest of this winter. We can do it. It won’t be long now – what say you, Mr. Groundhog?
It’s totally fitting that I’m paired up for today’s Ask Away Friday with Alison of Writing, Wishing. She lives somewhere without four seasons, and year-round tropical temperatures are normal for her. Don’t forget to read her answers to my questions HERE.
How did I “meet” Alison? Eh, who knows? Somewhere awesome, and probably through SITS Girls. She’s brilliant and witty and a wonderful writer. She’s also a blooming photographer. So definitely check her out – she also has gorgeous, gorgeous children.
To see who else is participating or to learn how to join the fun, head over to visit Penny from The Real Housewife of Caroline County and/or Amber from The Bold Fab Mom. #AskAwayFriday is their beautiful and ever-growing creation!
1. Do you see yourself in your children?
Unfortunately, too often it’s that I don’t see myself in them, especially Scarlet. It’s been so fascinating, not only watching her turn four with an alive father, but watching that relationship continue as she gets halfway to five. So I see what I didn’t/don’t have in her, but maybe it’s because I didn’t get a chance to see it. I was nervous, sad and anxious, because my father had a heart attack in front of me. So…it’s been a learning experience, for sure. Heartening and tragic, at the same time. She is strong and unflappable and sturdy. Physically, she looks a LOT like I looked at her age. Seriously, she makes that face I’m making..
And Des seems more like me, personality wise, although people swear he looks like me. He is a bit more touchy and sensitive and a bit less adaptable. He’s totally mellow while also being a wild man. And he talked early and walked late, just like me.
2. I love that picture of you and Scarlet with your mom and grandmother. How have they influenced your mothering?
Thanks! I feel blessed that it was taken. Well, they’re both somewhat rebels in their own, surprising ways – and also, so differently! And I dig that. I get that spirit about wanting to go west, and maybe actually going west..for a time. And questioning things that aren’t making them happy. My grandmother is 100 and she still does this. She still fights for her right..to party. I kid you not. Let me reference my mom’s Facebook status about it, after the nursing home told my grandmother that if she didn’t re-learn to walk, she couldn’t eat in the cafeteria she wanted to eat in:
“My mom rocks! I brought her the walker and she took it and walked all the way to lunch…that is like you or me walking five miles. Kudos for her determination and zest for life!”
3. What do you love most about Cassidy?
Other than his cute butt and his tousled hair? And he’s strong, mellow and supportive. And he’ll do anything for me, even when I feel I don’t deserve it. And I love the way he loves the kids. And he cooks and cleans incredibly well. Ok, other than that. I love that he’s a passionate dreamer. That he wants things out of life that are BIG. Larger than life. That I’m not married to someone who is content with staying in the same place his whole life, in many ways. And he’s spiritual and inquisitive. And he’s a big kid in some ways. I don’t know if our kids know how lucky they are to have such playful parents, but maybe one day they will.
4. What inspires your writing, your photography?
I surprised myself because I thought I’d write about my kids or something, and they are certainly the triggers to start blogs and write posts. They are part of the vehicle with which I get here. However, there’s that hidden part of me that I don’t necessarily want to stay hidden, and I guess that’s why I write. I’m an oversensitive, overemotional person, and the overflow? It must be contained somewhere. I have written, deeply from the heart, since I was very young. I imagine I will never stop. So I’d say it comes from such deep pain, and such deep joy, and such deep laughter, that sometimes I feel these things must have happened to someone else! Maybe I really do wear my heart outside of my body. I process the world through writing and photography..
(photography pun intended!)
5. How would you describe your style of photography?
I had to walk away and come back to this. I’d say it’s a study of emotions. Quite simply. And I do like a slight bit of edge to it.
6. If you could be anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?
I think I’m already here today – somewhere warm and sunny (I hope) and the place of my daughter’s dreams. Of course I’m going back to frigid MA in a few hours. If it’s winter, I generally want to be somewhere warm and sunny. If it’s summer, I always want to be in Alaska or Maine. That’s the stuff of MY dreams.
7. What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?
Oh! hm…Well once it was January and there was an ice storm, and I got annoyed, and my boyfriend and I drove from New Jersey…to Key West. We just didn’t stop until land stopped. However, not sure that was so much crazy as fun. I think the crazier stuff happened later in adulthood. Like falling in love and having kids – oh boy. The heart stuff. So. Tender. And maybe it was doing things without proper planning. I’m guilty of that. TWICE, I moved cross country without a great inner strength/support on how to handle all of that. I think that was crazy. Who does that? And then having children without a proper plan in place?
Well, I will always think we’re doing all right. And we’ll be all right.
8. Three things you couldn’t possibly live without.
Well, if we’re talking things and not people, I’d say: my camera (or a camera), my computer (or a computer, but preferably mine), and chocolate. I can’t live without it, and why would I want to anyway?
9. What’s your favorite time of the year?
I mean..really, any time that isn’t winter. I have this really ambitious mentality and I like to just be on the go, all of the time. I like for things to be possible. I like to be outside a lot. In four degree weather, things are less possible. The discomfort is too much for me. That said, my favorite time of the year is late spring and into early summer. Oh, happy day! Three of our birthdays, gorgeous sunshine, possibility. Just so much possibility. And New England has killer springs and falls. Come visit!
10. Where do you see yourself in 5 years – physically, emotionally, mentally?
Of course I have this ridiculous tendency to always think of that phantom future in which everything has worked itself out. So of course I see myself more financially secure and a lot less anxious. Physically? Probably still thin but maybe fighting early gray hairs? We all know that dark-haired girls get it first. And I’d like to believe I’m still as limber and pain-free as I’ve been for all of my life. Emotionally, probably a bit messed up that Des is in kindergarten or first grade, and that Scarlet is nearly a..what do they call it now…a tween? Mentally, battling my demons and being brave more often. A fighter. I hope.
Thanks for sticking around for my questions! The theme this weekend is “We Heart Valentine’s Day” and link up anything Valentine or love! Or whatever! Here are my lovely Ladies Only Blog Share Link Party co-hosts:
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