It Can’t Happen Here

I can’t BELIEVE I’ve never used this title in a post before?

I only know this because I was searching for a previous post with a similar theme that I wanted to copy rewrite for this post and I came up with nothing! So joyous joy – I can use it for REAL now. It’s the name of my favorite Sweet Valley Twins book. Not Sweet Valley High, mind you. Sweet Valley TWINS, when they’re 12-years-old and in 6th grade. It was about the Holocaust, and I swear the one before that was about what lip gloss Jessica should be wearing on her date with Aaron Dallas.

(Personally, I like this lip gloss)

Mind you again, Aaron Dallas’ grandfather was the one to come teach the kids about the Holocaust. Chew on that.

My kids don’t know about the Holocaust or Parkland shooters or climate change and polar bears clinging to glaciers. They only know what we knew, in an uncertain world that CERTAINLY terrified our parents and our parents’ parents, and so on. They know that they’re loved and that the world is full of mostly good and sometimes bad. If Des asks Scarlet what the scariest animal is – no doubt expecting her to talk about snakes and snails and puppy dog tails (hanging out of the mouths of rabid bears) – she replies simply, “It’s humans. Humans are the worst. The scariest. The most damaging.” So see – there are things she knows. Life lessons she’s completed. Yet she still thinks that fairies fly in and out of fairy doors and that people are mostly mostly mostly all good and strong and undamaged and unsurpassed. So that’s another life lesson she’s acing.

The kids are alright. And you know what? We’re alright too.

life's lessons

I’ve had some trouble lately with my anxiety. I don’t talk about it a lot, mainly because it doesn’t knock me off my feet a lot. It can’t happen here. It happened so badly three years ago, and I survived that, with a ton of life lessons learned. What I learned is that life goes on after moderate to severe anxiety. And that I go on too. So nothing has ever felt that bad, and if it ever gets that bad again, I don’t know that it really can, because all of the tools I picked up then are here with me now. I won’t drop them or swallow them or burn them or forget them. They’re imprinted on my brain. So my anxiety lately has been not that bad, but not that good. It’s nightmares here and there, and stomachaches here and there, and that trouble breathing feeling here and there. Ultimately, though, I still think that fairies fly in and out of fairy doors and that people are mostly mostly mostly all good and strong and undamaged and unsurpassed. The kids are alright. And I’m alright too.

life's lessons

I had a disheartening work experience that knocked me off my feet. It’s because it happened here, and I’ve come to a place in my life in which it can’t happen here. Not when I own two businesses, collect good paychecks, have relative job satisfaction, and a husband who picks up my slack with all of his domestic duties and steady paychecks and healthcare benefits. So the fact that I went back in time to have an unpleasant experience was the biggest gut punch. It was traumatic. It was unnecessary. And it only hurt SO MUCH because that part of my life is/was SO FAR in the past. In a world in which I pick and choose my clients and projects, who knew I’d pick a rough one. Probably everyone but me. And the problem IS me.

Mostly, I let it hurt and my heart wasn’t in the project. I should have known, I should have known, I should have known.

life's lessons

Life lesson unlocked. There are many of them these days. There’s dizzying joy, relaxation, dreams for the future, deep breathing techniques, peanut butter sundaes, and the knowledge – buried deep deep inside – that I’m not the ugly loser I think I am. I am loved and I am learning, and I am loved. I get rejected daily and it never gets easier. I burned a few bridges along the way, and that never does either. But there are lessons about putting your heart into everything, and keeping it there. Taking it out of things that aren’t meant to be. Communication in real time, or even first. Above all, kindness, eye contact, communication, patience, and an open heart. We can’t have all those things at once, but gosh, we can try.

life's lessons

This is me linking up, as one of my favorite things to do, with Finish The Sentence Friday. This week’s topic is “When I think about life’s lessons…” And there’s still time to write yours. Come link up with your spin on the topic: HERE.

What would you say?

About Tamara

Tamara is a professional photographer, a mama of two, a Lifestyle Blogger/Social Media Influencer/Brand Ambassador, and a nearly professional cookie taster. She has been known to be all four of those things at all hours of the day and night. She is a very proud contributor to the book, The Mother Of All Meltdowns, the Stigma Fighters Anthology (volume 1), and The HerStories Project: So Glad They Told Me. She is also a proud Community Lead and a regular contributor to the SoFab Food blog, and the Target Made Me Do It blog. After two cross country moves, due to her intense Bi-Coastal Disorder, she lives with her husband, daughter, son, dog, cat, and 11 chickens in glorious western Massachusetts.


It Can’t Happen Here — 21 Comments

  1. I totally love that you finally got to use this title. And truly appropriate for all that has been going on in your life. Also, glad you came to the realization about the job. Because after our talk the other day, I truly know you made the right decision for you. Hugs and just happy that it worked out in the end <3

  2. Oh I am sorry something bad work related went down. I hope this weekend and on brings good and even better things than what was lost. Take care and hugs. P.S. Sweet Valley High was the BEST πŸ™‚

  3. We all encounter unexpected tough times.. when they come out of the blue, they can really trip us up. If we are sensitive, we tend to mull them over and just feel badly for days. I can relate. At the end of the day, I find that I fare best when I begin with any work I need to do for things that might have been my fault, and then seek forgiveness and grace. So thankful to know that our worth has nothing to do with what we do:) Stay warm and dry this weekend!

  4. Your title is perfect. Kind of like a “not now” when you’re watching a movie or show (This Is Us) that’s gut wrenching and you really want to breakdown and it feels so unnecessary but it’s necessary. I’m glad you made it through the rough patch. I absolutely LOVE your first pictures and with the different sky colors.

  5. I hate those sucker-punches of “you thought you learned this one, but you need to learn it AGAIN.” It happens to me too, and since it happens to you and to a bunch of other people I know, I have to assume that it happens to everyone. I think about the Richard Bach book called “Bridge Across Forever,” where versions of ourselves learn the same thing in a million parallel ways. Someday, we’ll all get it. Or, maybe we won’t — but we’ll keep getting half-way there, each step, forever.

  6. Your father went to a psychiatrist to get out of the draft. The doctor, Anita Stevens, told dad that she was happy to certify anyone who had grown up in the fifties and sixties with the Cold War looming around us as totally stark raving mad.

  7. I totally get this 100% here. I have had a over arching situation that makes it impossible to really put my heart into most things. I am working HARD to try to get back in the moment so thank you for this reminder today!

  8. I feel like there is a lot of anxiety in the world and it is saddening and it can be hard to overcome it when there is a lot of anger and disrespect present. I hope you find peace soon. The happenings in this country are things I never thought and hoped I would see in my lifetime.The one thing that I know is that life’s lessons don’t stop and that sometimes, good things come out of bad times. I hope it is true in the near future.

  9. Those are hard lessons, Tamara. And just when we think we’ve learned those lessons, the same one pops up again. I like the image of fairies going in and out of fairy doors. So sweet. Love all these images as well. Sometimes if our heart isn’t into a project there is a good reason and we have to listen to our gut instinct. “Life lesson #?”

  10. Aw, Sweets. I’m sorry the anxiety is bad-ish right now, but glad it’s not as bad as it’s been… and you are the opposite of an “ugly loser!” Truly. I wish whatever happened at work recently didn’t go south, but sometimes, these things happen because they’re supposed to, if that makes sense…xoxo

  11. I remember Sweet Valley High, I’ve never herd of Sweet Valley Twins. Sound a bit intense but I like intense. I can’t imagine explaining the Holocaust to kids. that’s a tough one. Sorry to hear about your Job Tamara, but when one door closes another one always opens.

  12. I had a disheartening work experience

    (I identify with much that I read in your post…. so, whenever I see something jump out at me, I stop and think and see if I can’t gain some new perspective that might apply to me.)

    What caught my attention was the word ‘disheartening’.
    If clarks have a total blind spot for those things that can mess with our heads, it’s totally the heart, our emotions. We don’t put our emotions (heart) into things easily. But when we do! Look out, very very effective lifeform…
    As a strength it’s huge. As an Achilles Heel… also huge.

    I will stop rambling.

    We’re without power (southern New England)… gotta go check on the generator.

    *think, what a awful five letter word… at least for clarks, (Doctrine: ‘clarks think, scotts act and rogers feel)….

  13. I smiled, I really smiled when I read “I am loved” twice Tamara. Anxiety won’t knock you cold again like it did a few years ago. It can’t happen here and it can’t happen again! For all we know some of those very special fairies may have taken a few punches too, but were able to get up off the deck and continue to find more fairy doors to fly through. You will continue to fly with flying colors through your own doors too, Tamara!
    Bust a few down if you have to, and remember, You Are Loved!! P.S. Scarlet gets it, does she not? πŸ‘πŸ‘

  14. We can’t win them all and just remember that you are truly loved. You’ve never really talked much about your anxiety, so it was nice to see you open up and talk about it a little more here today.

  15. What a beautiful photo of the land and sky, Tamara!

    I know it can be a challenge to see life clearly, yet life live fully. Your kids are off to a great start in a nurturing home.

    It’s okay to have one of those days.

  16. I’m so sorry that you are dealing with something bad. I loved the Sweet Valley Twins books. They made me want to wear purple and work for a newspaper πŸ™‚

  17. Well, first… let me just say that I love what you did with this writing prompt, Tamara, as I so often do.

    I’ve missed you and your writing a lot. It always resonates with me, and I feel as though this will be one of those posts that I’ll continue to think about. How do you protect kids from the ugly of the world? How do you teach them important life lessons, while protecting their innocence for as long as possible? I’m really asking because I need to know but I understand there’s simply no real answer there. Just a lot of stumbling and figuring it out as you go, right?

    I’m also sorry that you’ve had unfortunate incidents lately that are work related. Let me just say that 1) I can’t imagine this could happen to you, but only because a) I’m totally biased and b) I just pink-puffy heart you so much that I can’t even begin to fathom that anyone would have an issue with you, but also. 2) You are always a professional. So the thought of you ever burning bridges (though I’m sure it’s happen because I’ve burned a bridge or two in my lifetime), well, it’s harder to imagine with you. But you know? Don’t take shit from anyone πŸ™‚ I’m learning this–slowly–myself lately.

    I want to live in a world where we continue to believe in fairies and fairy doors and the goodness of the human race.

  18. I’m sorry something went bad πŸ™ I think it happens to all of us in the things that we do. I know I’ve had some projects that didn’t turn out as expected and I’ve been rejected more times than I care to count.

    My kids do know about the sad things in the world. It’s mostly because I always have the TV on, and a lot of the time it’s on the news. I hate that I have to tell my kids what to do if there’s ever a shooter in their school though.

  19. I’m envious of the innocence of your kids…mine know all the bad that happens, and it breaks my heart that they know. May you and Scarlet always believe in fairies…

    I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with rough work stuff. I have a tough time shaking that kind of thing off – sometimes “let it go” is easier said than done!

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