Do I Want a Third Baby?

I have to say, I have started looking forward to Ask Away Fridays more than ever lately.

It’s just too good. Asking and answering questions with wonderful bloggers. The thought processes. The connections. The differences that occur week by week, as I switch partners and also get more into the groove of #AskAwayFriday. I’m currently on an every other week schedule, but since I got so flexible last week with combining Old School Blogging and Ladies Only Blog Share Link Party that I’m really feeling like I can do this more often. So contact me if you want to schedule a swap soon!

This week I was lucky enough to be asked by Gracielle of Mommy A-Z. I more than happily accepted.

We met on twitter. I actually remember something! She was explaining how to pronounce her name (like GRAY-shull), which I take very seriously, and I became a loyal reader after that. Make sure you check out her blog to see her answers to my questions.

1. What was your favorite Christmas moment this year?

It’s all such a surreal blur! We spent three days in New Jersey and with life being hectic right now, and with it being cold, dark winter, my anxiety hasn’t been the best. It’s definitely far better than it has been in the past but it also leaves a lot to be desired. I’m going to name my top five moments, because I’m terrible at following rules and narrowing down hearts & thoughts:

– Spending most of Christmas Eve with Ilene, of Fierce Diva Guide to Life fame.

– That moment on Christmas morning in which we let all the three kids (my two and my nephew) open their presents first, and then we took our time with our own.

– My Christmas Eve tradition of going to a tiny country store for last minute stocking stuffers with my Uncle.

– Eating shallots, openly and enthusiastically, even though I never EVER eat anything onion-related. Ever. My brother made quite the salad.

– Telling Scarlet that Santa brought us all tickets to Disney World. (more on that soon)

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(Authentic reaction! This is NOT a dramatization.)

2. I have a girl and a boy just like you. We’ve been on the fence on having another baby since we already have one of each. Are you planning on having more babies or do you know that your family is complete?

I like the way you ask questions. I don’t know that my family is complete but there are no plans to have any more children and if you were to ask me right now to make a permanent decision, I would say, “No.” know…babies! And never saying never. I’d be apprehensive about being pregnant again, because even though I do it well and I’ve been told I make it look easy, it’s not at all easy for me. It’s anxious and uncomfortable and the potential for nausea scares me a bit much. And then of course, it’s more about what comes after those nine months. I know that. Right now with two, I feel like this is challenging but not overwhelming. I don’t want to rock the boat. On the other hand, Des was in the NICU for a week after birth, for really no reason other than that my water was broken for over 24 hours, Des’ breathing wasn’t 100% and our hospital was cautious..

I kinda want a do-over there. I want a newborn I can easily take home again.

Maybe if the kids were older, the money was flowing in, and I went temporarily insane…or not so insane. Never say never, right?

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3. I love seeing Scarlet’s and Des’ personalities through your photos. Given their personalities now, what do you think their careers will be when they grow up?

Someone once asked me that and I said that Scarlet would be something really true to her heart, like a real princess, a defense lawyer, or a foreign diplomat. I said that Des would be a juggling comedian or an engineer! It’s such a tough but awesome question. We all believe our kids are destined for greatness, because, the potential is just so there. And in reality, many people do things they never fantasized about doing, and many people are unhappy with their careers. So I just wish for happiness and meaning. And just to guess for fun and to actually answer your question and not just spin off on my tangent.. Des will be the 23rd rendition of The Doctor in “Doctor Who”, doing an American accent regeneration, and Scarlet will write fantasy novels.

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(He already played the 11th Doctor at a convention once..)

4. If you had any super hero power, what would it be?

Without a doubt, I would fly. I would soar! I know there are many more useful superpowers, like maybe telepathy or x-ray vision or any other way to prevent and stop crimes and wrongdoings. However, I want to fly. And if I could fly, I could get to everyone faster and I could expand my client base to include…the whole world. I’d just need a super protective camera backpack.

5. There are melt-down stories, love stories, but my favorite ones are awkward moment stories. I don’t know why. What is your most awkward moment?

Once I wrote a love note to the contractor who was building our house. I handed it to him while his head was (literally) through the ceiling. I was five. I also was potty-trained (successfully) on our driveway, in plain view of our neighbors and anyone driving by. Oh! And once a few weeks after a dreadful breakup (an ADULT relationship, no less) I saw my ex at the mall. He stood out, being a redhead in a tux. I stood out in my red coat. We both played that game where we dodged right or left to try to pretend we didn’t see each other, only we somehow both ended up getting the alignment wrong, and we met in the middle. Awkward!

Horrible too.

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(You can’t pretend you don’t see this coat!)

6. What are your plans to bring in the new year?

We are pretty consistent lately. It started as getting together with one other family and watching the live Phish webcast. (they play Madison Square Garden on New Year’s) Then we added another family in the mix and made it a sleepover thing. Last year we added yet another family. This year we’ll have two friends of mine coming too. The insane. You can’t imagine what they all roll out all day long. I remember pulled pork on the grill at 1:00 am last year. And fresh mozzarella from Hoboken once.

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7. I joined the SITS community this year, too. What’s the one thing you’ve learned since joining SITS?

It takes a village to raise a blog. I sound so repetitive when I give people blogging advice, but I took the long way to get there. Comment. Reply to comments. Share links on social media. Connect on social media. Don’t do it alone. It doesn’t feel as good.

8. What does a day in the life of Tamara look like?

I think I’ll go with a school day here. I wake up when the kids wake up, and Des roars for food while Scarlet slowly finds her grounding. We rush to school, nearly always late, and I fantasize about showing up in my flannel pants but since it’s a walk-in school (no car lines to be seen), I never quite pull the trigger on that. Then I go home to eat breakfast, and spend Des’ naptime writing, editing photos, and thinking of ways to take over the world..or make more money with my photography business. One or the other. I often go outside and daydream. I blast music. We get Scarlet and she gets some sort of snack/treat/TV show and I spend a LOT of time hugging Des. A lot. And Scarlet. Afternoon type stuff happens and I think more about trying to take over the…make more money. We do errands. Cassidy comes home after the dinner/pajamas rush. Those three get time together. I sneak upstairs to daydream/write/edit photos/daydream some more/play music at a softer level/eat chocolate.

9. What’s the story behind the blue police boxes? I saw one hanging from your gigantic Christmas tree and there was another one in a photo of your shed.

We’re gigantic nerds. No, we’re gigantic dreamers. This blue police box is the TARDIS (time and relative dimension in space) – the time machine from the long-running British sci-fi series, “Doctor Who.” Cassidy has been watching it since the 70’s (Tom Baker era) and he got me into it when we got together. It took some time (time!) but it grew on me and I’m rightfully obsessed. Hate to sound like “those people”, but Cassidy had been watching it DECADES before it got trendy in America. I had been watching it for a few years before people knew about it too. I do like the amount of merchandise that comes with its popularity!

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10. When I asked you to swap questions with me for Ask Away Friday, I was so nervous because you’re one of my blog crushes! Who are your blog crushes?

I thought it was adorable of you to admit that, and you asked quite beautifully. At the risk of sounding too diplomatic, there is generally something (or somethings) I admire/crush on about all of the bloggers in my Bloglovin feed. That’s how they got there! I don’t always comment, but I do for most. I get intimidated, like anyone, by the beautiful photographers and writers in this mix. Some do product reviews and I admire their authenticity. Some people, like you, work hard, raise kids AND look darn good doing it. I want to be there. I’m not there, but I want to be there. You all have a special something that makes me come back.

About Tamara

Tamara is a professional photographer at, a mama of two, a writer/blogger at and a nearly professional cookie taster. She has been known to be all four of those things at all hours of the day and night. She is a very proud contributor to the book, The Mother Of All Meltdowns. After two cross country moves, due to her intense Bi-Coastal Disorder, she lives with her husband, daughter and son in glorious western Massachusetts.


Do I Want a Third Baby? — 125 Comments

  1. Pingback: {Ask Away Friday} Questions with @TamaraCamPhoto

  2. Thanks, Tamara! I had so much fun swapping with you and reading your answers. You’re going to Disney World?! That’s so exciting! Scarlet’s reaction was amazing. So now I know why I love awkward stories – other peoples’ awkwardness makes me laugh! LOL The red coat and red hair must have been magnets to each other. I’m always trying to think of ways to take over the world, too…and I think everyone should end their day eating chocolate 😉

    • I loved your questions! Thank you so much. And yes, we're going to Disney World soon! It was a bit of a surprise for all of us and we feel VERY lucky and excited.

      Red hair and red coats – definitely magnets.

      And you wouldn't believe my chocolate stash after Christmas morning. It's a drawer of it! I hope the kids don't catch on.

  3. I loved your answer about having more kids. I pretty much know we are done, but yes every once in awhile I let my mind wander, but then I reign back real quick when I remember pregnancy, all day nausea, being high risk and then newborn colic, teething, potty train and more! Seriously my kids are at such a great age now and happy to just enjoy that, but I do like the saying never say never!! 🙂 xoxo!!

    • ha! I didn't even get as far as the whole newborn thing. I didn't even get to the second trimester! Labor is a cinch to me compared to pregnancy. And Des is still VERY much in the teething/diaper stage so it's really hard to see over it. He's still my baby.

  4. I was hoping you'd post a picture of Scarlet's reaction to Santa's gift.

    I love your NYE tradition. A sleepover. So fun. I cannot imagine how the kids love it.

    My youngest is 7 and there are definitely no babies in my future. At least none of my own. Several friends and relatives have babies, though, and for the first time ever I've felt that longing for a baby in my arms. And it's made me understand how grandparents feel. You know you're done, so the closest you'll get is when your kids have kids. I can think in those terms with a 19 year old, and 19 and 18 year old step-children. Not that I want any of them to have babies NOW, but in 5-10 year, yeah … maybe I'll have a baby in my arms again!

    • I can totally imagine that. When your kids are at that awkward, not quite kids, but not quite old enough to have kids, stage. My parents have five of us so I think they always knew grandkids were in the their future, and I imagine that many more are coming for them, but I always think that since I'm so neurotic, I'll be hoping for it the way I hoped for my own kids. Nitpicking (in my mind only) their relationships and wondering if they'll be able to easily get pregnant or adopt. Man. I'm nuts.

  5. NO ONE can miss that red coat 🙂 I love your day in the life, blasting music and giving lots of hugs is something I can get down with 🙂 Enjoy Disney, I can't wait to see the pictures. I want a third. Its crazy. Its probably insane, but i want one more. (Good thing I have lots of time)

    • Not crazy. Not insane. Des is only 18 months and only has six teeth and is nowhere near potty-trained. So he’s still totally “my baby.” It changed for me when Scarlet got older than two, and I’d be curious to see if that happens again.

  6. Ahhh, Scarlet’s reaction is just priceless! Yehey to Disneyworld, I’m sure they’ll enjoy it. I can relate with not wanting to have a baby at this point in time but will still welcome any addition to the family. I only have one kid now but it seems like my life is more than a rollercoaster! Ahaha but in a nice sense of way. Happy Friday Tamara! 😀

    • I hear that! We only wanted one kid originally and then when she turned one we had a conversation about a second and decided not to rock the boat. Then she turned two and it happened pretty fast that we both wanted to be there.

      And now..I'd like to stay as is for awhile or for always. Two kids is great for us. Three sounds a little scary..

  7. You're making me want to delve more into sits. I've only done the twitter party of Saturdays!

    Also, happiness and meaning was my moms goal for us and my goal for my children. It's a smart thing I think because it communicates freedom and support to our children with high expectations.

    • And that happiness and meaning can unravel itself in strange ways – to some it’s to be a high-powered lawyer. To others, to be a teacher. To others, a parent. To yet others, more than one thing.

  8. I always love your Ask Away Friday answers! Your daughter reaction is just priceless, I can only imagine what that moment was like to tell her. I wouldn't have been able to contain my excitement as an adult!! And I love your Christmas rundown, you really pack a lot in there! Can you write a post about how you do it? Because I couldn't get anything done schlepping everywhere with just one kid!!

    • Sure, I can write that post! I think when you have two kids, you start to think that people who have only one kid have it easier. However, we remember having one and of course it was VERY hard. I think it depends on a lot of factors/ages/demeanors.

  9. Love this #AAF. All I can say is think long and hard about that 3rd baby. We went for two and ended up with three. Fantastic for sure but it's a lot of, well, everything! Love that you and Ilene got together – I'll bet you got some great pics. Happy New Year – your plans sound like fun!

    • I think about that a lot because twins run very heavily in my family! So three could easily be four.
      I can see that it’s a lot of everything!
      We had fun, but missed you and Michelle!

  10. I think if I could have a superpower, it would be time/space travel so that I could be in North Carolina and in Western MA at the same time so that we could eat chocolate and think of ways to take over the world together! Or, we just have to talk on the phone more.

    Xmas Eve with you and your family is one of the biggest, brightest most fabulous highlights I will have from my trip to New Jersey – if not for the year. Still gushing. xxxooo

    • We should have eaten more chocolate together. There are always the should-have, would-have, could-haves. It was glorious. Talking on the phone more is a great plan!
      My family loved you – it was like we had all known you for years, right?
      I’ll never stop gushing!

  11. I love that you and Ilene got to spend time together again! And I can't wait to hear more about Scarlet's reaction!! The look on her face was priceless! I think you'll just know at some point if you want a third. That's kind of how we were. It's definitely a juggle, but I wouldn't change it. Hugs to you and Happy New Year!

    • I think three is a great number.
      We missed you a lot! It made me realize that I can see you pretty easily and I feel lucky about that. Being in the same state as Ilene felt really great. I’m sad she’s going back home!

  12. Love it when bloggers get together IRL, Tamara. I got to meet one my my blogging buddies for dinner two weeks ago. So very cool! I think your choice of superpower is perfect!

    • Oh, that's perfect! I'm so glad you met up with a blogging friend IRL too. I think if I could fly, my social life AND my career life would really soar. So to speak.

  13. Pulled pork at 1am? Count me in. I’m jealous you and Ilene got to spend the day together. I can only imagine that being epic. Can’t wait to see the photos that came out of that meeting! 🙂

    • You know you're always welcome to come here at 1:00 am, or anytime.

      I was in the same state as Ilene and it worked out so perfectly. There were photos…

      Maine is my next big goal! Scarlet made Cassidy and I pinky swear that we'd see a moose together in 2014. (child after my own heart) And since Alaska is probably not happening yet, Maine it is!! Be there!

  14. Hi Tamara! I am always in love with your photos and the stories they tell all on their own. I absolutely love Scarlet's reaction to finding out Santa left Disney tickets! Priceless. To capture that moment forever is awesome. Great answers and amazing photos as always!

  15. I was totally jealous when you met Kristi. Of her and you. I just know that one day it will be all of us in one place! I just know it!

    That's adorable about your son. Wish our trips could coincide, but mine may have meltdowns and you may get post-traumatic stress from it.

  16. How cool that you and Ilene spent Christmas Eve together! I’m a little jealous but more happy that the two of you were able to reconnect in person. My son has started our Disney countdown – he wrote the numbers 1 to 110 on a piece of paper and is crossing one off every day – 104 days left! So excited for you!

  17. That third baby question…I would answer yes in a heart beat, but real life interfered with our plans and now I'm staring 45 straight in the face. So no third baby. I remember my dad watching Dr. Who in the 70's; I never thought much of it as a kid. I preferred to watch Star Trek reruns with him, and I know every single original episode!

  18. i am new over here and loved getting to know you more through your answers. I never say never to anything, all too limiting and you don't know what lies around the corner, although that third baby never did make it into my arms. You have left me wondering what super power I would like and with a desire to build my community, my blogging gig has been a bit lonely.

    Ready for a fabulous New Year.

    • Definitely join a community! Or build your own. It's really life-changing, depending on how seriously you take blogging. (I take it to obsessive levels)

      Glad you visited. I've just been getting to know your blog lately. I don't even know where I found you but you're in my Bloglovin feed!

  19. You have no idea how thrilled I am that Gracielle was your partner this week! I have wanted to know about the TARDIS but was afraid to ask. I now feel content to go about my weekend with knowledge and throw out the word TARDIS to someone. Possibly to my youngest who actually watches Dr. Who. He'll be impressed and I'll be the cool mom for once.

    I never wanted kids at all. Weird how three just sneaked into my life. 🙂 Never say never is right!

    • I can’t believe anyone would be afraid to ask me anything! We should definitely swap sometime for an Ask Away Friday and I’ll expect (and hope) that you’ll ask me things you’re afraid to ask me.
      Never say true.

  20. I would have never known about the blue box thing if you hadn't talked about it before – I have never seen a Dr. Who episode!!! I love these Friday posts (I sort-of want to play, too!).

    I can't wait to read more about the Disney reveal – Scarlet's face is priceless in that picture!!!

  21. I love these Ask Away Friday questions. I just might have to do this in January. It looks like a lot of fun!

    I also love Scarlet's reaction to the Disney trip. I can't wait to hear more about it!

  22. Wow, tickets to Disney World. Santa was very nice to your family. We are also planning a trip to Disneyworld in 2014. I’ve been reading a ton of travel guides to help me plan our trip. My husband and I have been a couple of times, but this will be our first trip with our kids. So I want to make sure we plan a great trip for them.

    • I haven’t been in years. I’ve been three times in my life at different stages and each time was unique. I can’t wait for them to see it! I imagine the baby will have to go again in a few years, though.

  23. This title was one of those that really leaves you no choice but to click – like, "signs you'll get cancer," "three foods that will kill you by Jan. 6" or "Weird N.C. law grants you one grilled cheeseburger a day, for free." The cool thing about that third kid is she's a little of the first, a little of the second, and a whole lot of nothing else but her own.

  24. I can answer any questions you have about having a third baby! even though the experience can be different for everyone 😉 The morning sickness was the absolute worst for the third and I think it made it worse because I had two other kids under the age of five to deal with…so tired!! lol it’s tough at first, but I think I’ve finally found my groove…=) I’m glad we had our third, I would have another….

    Scarlet is going to have the best time in Disney, she’s at the perfect age…all princessed up and all! =) Have you taken her to see Frozen yet? loved it!



    • Yes, we saw Frozen the day after Thanksgiving! We loved it and we now have an Elsa dress and the ice palace thing.
      I remember you telling me about the morning sickness. It scared me!

  25. I can't wait to hear more about the Disney announcement and Scarlet's reaction! And how awesome that you got to spend Christmas Eve with Ilene! Isn't it fun to watch the little ones tear through their gifts in 2 minutes?

  26. Awww Tamara I hope you had an enjoyable Christmas! I love that look on Scarlet's face when told that Santa bought Disney tickets. Can't wait to read all about it. I love reading your AAF's. Love the questions and even love the answers. Can't wait to read next weeks and I can totally see you with baby #3. 🙂

  27. Love Ask Away Fridays Tamara! SITS is such a reat community. I wish I had more time to devote to it – I have learned a ton from them! I am visiting Colorado right now but will be staying local for NYE. Hope you have a fun NYE!

  28. Great Christmas moments and I love that look you captured in the picture! Those are always my favorite pics of my kids – when I get it right at that moment that shows some emotion!
    New Year’s plans sound so fun! I love having a tradition you can look forward to of how you spend holidays like New Year’s! Have a great time!

  29. I love your thoughts around baby number 3. I’m thinking it would be the same. Ideally, I would have thought I wanted 3 just in thinking about the number and the sexes and all, but you’re right. 3 could be overwhelming and I think Harroll might be comfy with 2. We both just said we will see. Your New Year’s tradition sounds so fun! Harroll would love that idea. I guess once we meet more people, more people will be involved in our tradition. We tried to add in some new faces for Christmas dinner since we were invited over to a couple’s house for dinner, but they had an issue with one of their moms being upset about them not stopping by for Christmas so they had to cancel.

    All because of you I’ve been curious about this Doctor Who. I’ve seen it on in the TV Guide, but I just don’t know where to start to see if I would like it. It’s funny how most successful shows and movies in the US were always originally done in other countries lol. I know Scarlet is going to love Disney World. Can’t wait to see how the kids react to that!

    And I love the way you don’t actually mention who your crushes are. You are definitely a superstar in my book and I would have melted to have found my name on that list of yours. Even though you didn’t say it, I felt like you did anyway based on how you answered. 🙂

    • When I was a kid, I said I wanted three kids – two girls and a boy. It could very well happen (50% chance!) if there was a third. And another son would be divine.
      I’m glad you liked my last answer. I really meant it. It’s not a gigantic number of people but there are a good number of people who impress me. And if you saw yourself..well then you were reading correctly!!

  30. It’s so much fun learning more about you through these questions! And your awkward moments stories are so cute! And the question of babies is always an interesting one to ponder, as right now I’m wondering when my husband and I will be able to have one. Sigh….for now I am dreaming 🙂

    • Dreaming is great. We were (pleasantly) surprised with our first, but we had dreamed of her years before. And then with my son, well, it was really awesome the way it turned out.

      Glad to see you back!!

  31. Disney World! We loved it there! In fact, we might go back in a couple of years. Natalie “has” to meet Anna and Elsa.

    I always wonder about a third baby. I’m not sure if I’d have the patience. Plus I like my sleep.

    • Ohh..are Anna and Elsa there? We may have to do the same.

      And yes, I really like that my kids sleep through the night! We still have one in diapers and with a gazillion teeth to still come it's really hard to imagine adding to that?

  32. Sounds like a nice Christmas and plans for a fun New Year!

    we are totally boring on New Year's now – lucky if anyone makes it up til midnight – lol

  33. a disney trip is the best gift ever! my parents take my nephews to disneyland and i can't wait for them to haul my kid off as well. funny, my kid isn't even born yet and i can't wait to ship him off. i adore your NYE plans. sadly, i will probably be in bed by the midnight strikes, or slumped over watching TV…but next year maybe we'll have people over. sounds like such a fun time, celebrating with good friends and good food!

  34. Great questions & answers — I love the temporary insanity qualifier to the 3rd baby question! I get that question a lot since I have 2 boys — am I going to "try for a girl?" Besides explaining basic probability to these people, I think I'm going to have to start adding temporary insanity as a requirement. I think 2 will do it for me, but like you said, never say never! I would love to do askawayfriday with you sometime! I love how you really get to know people through these questions.

    • Ugh, it’s so rude that people assume that having one boy and one girl (or two and one, etc.) makes your family “complete.” Since I have one of each, people often just assume I’m done and say, “It’s perfect – your family is complete!”

      I kinda want to say, “Maybe in YOUR world, but I need seven daughters in order to feel complete!”

      You should say, “No, but twins run heavily in our family so we’re hoping for twin boys and then we can have four sons!”

  35. I loved reading this. My third child is my blog! And you are so right about it "taking a village to raise a blog". That is a great way to put it. Since I am new to blogging and just beginning to form friendships it always makes me smile when I see other bloggers talk about the friends they have made along the way! LOVE the blue police call box thingie. The blue pops against the snow. Have a great New Year's Eve.

  36. Lovely photos. Their expressions are priceless. I would love to see your daughter’s Disney reaction as a GIF, LOL! I agree with you about baby #3. While two isn’t super overwhelming I imagine three would might take me to a place I can’t say I’m ready for at the moment.

    • That’s a good idea! I have no idea how to make GIFs but I wish I had.

      Three seems insane. However, if the other two (or at least the oldest) are six are older, I see it as possible.

  37. Awesome answers! And so honest! I feel like I need to educate myself on “Dr. Who.” My brother is REALLY into it, and one of my nieces (on my husband’s side) as well. I will soon be unable to hold a conversation at either family gathering if I don’t catch up. 🙂

  38. For some reason my comments weren’t going thru yesterday. I think I had a bad connection at home. Anywho, I’m back to check in! Super cool that you got to hang with Ilene! I am getting confused as to what was each post because I missed a few but I know that you are going to Disneyworld, SWOON! The kids are going to enjoy!

  39. Lest I forget, you look like Red Riding hood–from Once Upon A Time–in that coat. Just gorgeous! I love Scarlet’s reaction to going to Disney World, so stunned and full of joy at the same time. You’re all going to have an amazing time there!!

    And it always bemuses me when someone doesn’t recognise the TARDIS. I think it’s just ingrained into the social/pop-culture consciousness over here. Tiny children who’ve never seen a single episode magically know about the TARDIS and The Doctor. On one hand I want to trudge around the world like Martha Jones and tell everyone about them…on the other? I quite liked it before the reboot and the global conquest that the producers and merchandise people are pushing. I guess I’m just greedy!

    • I love Ruby from Once Upon a Time, so I’ll take it!!
      It’s funny because Doctor Who took a long time to catch on here. Even after David Tennant! It’s been recent. People around here know that in England, Doctor Who is as popular as American Idol. At least that’s what they say.
      And yes, my husband has been a fan since boyhood. And I’ve been a fan for a long enough time that it still surprises me that people DO know what it is since I was always alone in that for my age group around here.

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