Ten Years Gained

This title is a nod to my favorite Zeppelin song, “Ten Years Gone.”

I have already written posts with that title, but yesterday, my sister posted something on Facebook that stopped me in my tracks. And believe it or not, I’m not constantly stopped in my tracks. It just takes rainbow sprinkles, moose, and WORDS:

Then as it was, then again it will be
And though the course may change sometimes
Rivers always reach the sea…….
Ten years gained ❤️

Happy ten years to my sister and big brother.
You have always been my inspiration in life and love…. ten years ago today we all witnessed one of the most magical amazing weddings in all of our lives. On that mountain we all gained from your marriage, and we continue to daily.

Thank you for being you, and happy ten years….

This is me linking up, as one of my favorite things to do, with Finish The Sentence Friday. This week's topic is Photo Share Friday. And there's still time to write yours. Come link up with your spin: What's your photo? What's its story?

Maybe you read my blog post yesterday, and you know that I took most of the day off to celebrate 10 years of marriage. My head and heart simply cannot wrap themselves around that fact. All that has been, and all that ever will be. My photo for Photo Share Friday was taken yesterday morning by our waitress at Silver Spoon. We look tired and in love. That’s exactly what we were/are. Cassidy is going alone to Belize shortly. I could have gone but I had too much going on. So that gives us a year – with a deadline – to celebrate our 10th anniversary with something epic. It’s time for me to leave North America for the first time. It’s time to find a way to wrap our heads and hearts around this marriage. Ours has worked, and is working.

We took the day off and did simple and enjoyable and “us” things. He worked with the chickens. I read a book. We went out to breakfast and got a sitter for an amazing dinner. I wrote some, and he packed for his trip some. We shopped for groceries and he baked cookies that we delivered to Scarlet and Des’ preschool. We talked about another one in preschool, one day.

Or not. There was chocolate and resting and a whole lot of love. To 10 more years, and then some, and then some..

This is me linking up, as one of my favorite things to do, with Finish The Sentence Friday. This week’s topic is Photo Share Friday. And there’s still time to write yours. Come link up with your spin: HERE. What’s your photo? What’s its story?

What are you celebrating these days?

You and Me, Babe, How About It?

10 year wedding anniversary

For so long, I was stunned to find myself in the middle of a miracle. A real life miracle.

The first time we were together was good, I will admit, if you like fairy tale fantasies and a complete and willing loss on the grip of reality, but the second time we found each other? That one ached. It was visceral. The first, to quote the great Karen Klein, was like pouring hot lava into two dixie cups – we weren’t yet strong enough to withstand the power and heat. When we were together the second time, two years later, she said it was like pouring hot lava into two strong clay cups. That first time with Dixie cups. It poured fast and ready. The cups crumpled and crushed under hot heat. It wasn’t sustainable. Yet.

10 year wedding anniversary

The second time was that true miracle I keep referencing. How do you explain a magical whirlwind cross country romance with a hot older man, only to break your own heart and have your heart truly broken (truly, I’ve been with a lot of guys – this was my one crushed heart, other than my father), only to find him again after two years? No, he found me. I wasn’t quite ready to be found, because the unexpected phone call years after I laid all my love on the table, only to get rebuffed, sent tears spiraling down my face in a haphazard fashion. Everything was on fire then and I couldn’t rest and I couldn’t drive without loud music and body thrashing. I couldn’t sit still, but I didn’t want to sit still. It was a fevered pitch. I had a fever.

I still do.

10 year wedding anniversary

This wasn’t finding an old love. It wasn’t part two. This was a new love with an old flame. We stepped together – hot lava into clay cups and pots. I’ll never forget that miracle. I lived it for so long. It took even heartbreakingly longer to discover that the real miracle has always still been there – beneath the surface. Hot lava into metal pots – working our way to steel.

10 year wedding anniversary

How I’ve hurt you – with words and actions.
How you’ve hurt me – with more of the same.

I worry you don’t get me. I don’t get you. When we align, though, it’s harmonious. You love all of me. The goofy, neurotic, weather-complaining, moose-obsessive, sometimes-sleepless, anxiety-ridden, heart-opening, me. And I love all of you.

10 year wedding anniversary

Holy cow (moose). Ten years. So much I thought we weren’t doing by loving freely and openly, and leaping together, and holding each other. Years of misunderstandings gone cold. Frozen. But underneath! We must have been doing something right all along – planting seeds, setting roots, letting them grow at their pace, growing ever closer together. Through pain and uphill climbs. We built something. We built this. These unfolding dreams and stars in our eyes. Our family and home.

We did it, simply, by loving each other right.

10 year wedding anniversary

And the love I feel grows stronger, and I think yours does too. Simply. Loving each other. What else can we build? Let’s start today. Perfectly imperfect and imperfectly perfect for me. Perfect. For me. Like no other has or could. God, do I love you.

10 year wedding anniversary

Written on the eve of my 10 year wedding anniversary.