Currently, Don’t Be Afraid to Catch Feels

Blogging is a funny beast sometimes, isn’t it?

I mean, I came here to do one thing – which was to write – but I found so many strange and wonderful connections instead. I found myself. I was super lost, but we’re always lost and found, lost and found, throughout life. I always think that as long as I can come here once or twice a week to say “hi” simply as myself, it’s all ok. And what can I say? I’m super muddled. I feel like I’ve been that way for a long time. Maybe this is just my life now. Maybe this is just me now. Muddled, occasionally haggard, sometimes glowing, always busy, and able to boomerang back. Sometimes the words come and sometimes it’s pulling teeth and if we’re being honest, I didn’t think there was a chance in heck I’d come here and have anything to say.

Yet, here I am – barely stringing words together. Sometimes it’s fun to see where this goes.

Now, it’s Currently Time! Feel free to write your own sometime!

Currently, I’m..

Reading: Seriously, nothing. I had an overdue library book for about two months that wound up being packed up in a box before our renovations started. I have so many books to read. You know how with some things in life, you have to hear a click to be sure? Like a seatbelt. That’s how my brain works. If there’s a click, I’m full speed ahead. If there’s no click, and maybe just some halfway one, I’m pretty much useless. I can’t do the simplest thing – like go into the basement and find a book to read. My brain is my biggest opponent. Ridiculous. The click metaphor works for all aspects of my life. LAME.

Planning: Ooh, pick me! Planning! I’m sort of terrible at it, but maybe the seatbelt clicked for this one. We’re planning our annual Disney World trip in January! Before that, we are surprising the kids with a Polar Express train ride in upstate NY (I mean.. the North Pole). There might be a hotel stay or two in all of that. I’m also co-planning.. you know.. our entire HOUSE as it gets ripped apart and put back together. Remember when the renovations start/stopped? Now they’re full speed ahead.

Stressing: Stressing? Me? Ok, you got me there. I’m always in a weird whirlwind of sweating the small stuff, and then not sweating the small stuff, but it always comes back around because I’m hard-wired in the DNA to stress the small stuff. I actually think it’s the big stuff, but don’t tell anyone. Currently, I’m more busy with work than I’ve ever been. Remember last year and earlier this year, when I was doing photography, blogging, and big boxes of data entry surveys? Yeah, that was child’s play. I’m so busy right now with blogging, photography, and my new Visual Content Management job (QA) that I actually can’t breathe sometimes. It’s a wonder I’m writing this because I have seven photo shoots to edit. Also, I stress about the apocalypse and marriage and parenting and my mid-section, but who has time to write and read that one? Not it.

Wishing: I make wishes and prayers when I’m panicked and it doesn’t happen often, but when it does, WHAM. Let’s talk about wishes, though. They’re usually made from a mid-level and sent to above. You follow me here? Prayers are made from down below – just to get to mid level. Does that make sense? I wish for things to make sense. And world peace. Health.

Feeling: Like I shouldn’t be afraid to catch feels. And in my strange inability to feel things sometimes, I wonder if there’s a way not to force the feels, but to coax them out. Last year I couldn’t feel the holiday spirit, except maybe in glimpses. I wasn’t in the waterfall of the feels, if you know what I mean. And if you don’t..let’s go right to the next one and you will:

Listening: To this little number:

Eating: Nothing at the moment but I stole a Hickory Farms Salted Caramel Chocolate (from myself) a few minutes ago. And I have my eye on the Cookie Butter OREOs upstairs (finally found them!) and having Cassidy make stovetop popcorn. YES.

Wearing: A super cool Star Wars shirt and burgundy pants.

Loving: That I was there on the last day my favorite seasonal ice cream stand was open for 2017. And when I mentioned that Scarlet was away, they gave me a free quart of cotton candy ice cream to give to my kid! Ah! I’m also loving the feel of the warmth from the pellet stove, the smell of coffee, paychecks, and all the possibilities I’ve been discovering about myself and my capabilities. I hope it’s upward mobility.. forever. That’s a reasonable request that I haven’t chosen to ignore!

Name that reference (above)!

Hoping: Just insert a bunch of political and weather and health things right here. That about does it for today.

Pick one of these verbs and tell me what you’re doing currently.

Currently, I’m Wearing a Magic School Bus Dress

Which really means that one of my life goals has been unlocked.

Currently, I'm wearing a Magic School Bus Dress and doing a Currently post! What have YOU been up to lately? #oldschoolblogging #personalblogging #bloglife

Speaking of which, I’m sorry I haven’t been around much this week. I know I have done better in the past and throughout this busy summer. We’re at crunch time now, with four more weeks of summer vacation. Yesterday, Des had his five-year-old well checkup (excellent bill of health!) and Scarlet will have hers next week. She only has one more week of camp, and Des “graduates” Safety Village camp today. I mean, really. There will be a graduation ceremony. I can’t forget having one-year-old Des on my lap (in overalls!) at Scarlet’s Safety Village Camp Graduation, and she scowled the whole time! LOOK:

They sort of get better and better.

You can laugh. I did a lot. After camp week, we have a week of craziness and road trips and the kids go to Cape Cod without us. Cassidy and I will be heading to Boston for Comic Con and my $300 ticket to spend time with Tim Curry. That’s the life dream part. The week after that takes us to New Jersey for a belated birthday party with the entire extended family. Then another week of last minute summer stuff, and then Scarlet goes away with her best friend’s family for three nights.

Then, in theory, the construction on our house begins. We’ll have to be displaced from my office and the master bedroom for a long time while we get a new master bedroom/bathroom suite. With doors. With LOCKS. At some point, we’ll be displaced from the whole house while the floors are being redone, but hopefully that will be in October when I’m already in New Jersey anyway. I don’t know what it will be like to set up another office for myself for awhile. I’m busier than ever and I never work with laptops. I have to drag my giant iMac everywhere. Plus, sharing a small full-sized futon in a small room with Cassidy for 2-3 months! Ah, romance. We sleep in even smaller quarters in Cape Cod and we always do well with that.

So I’m sorry I haven’t been as around. I’ve had some interesting career stuff lately. I’ve been doing a side job for a few months now, and I’m not sure why I never announced it? I think I may wait on that because it’s going well and I may be announcing a brand new role soon. It might require some juggling because I’m already busy with mama-ing, photographing, blogging, influencing, and data-entering, but everything I do (except mama-ing) comes in waves and ebbs. And I’m prone to nuttiness forever. Stay tuned, and stick with me, because I’m going nowhere! Or somewhere! But not away from here.

I may just take occasional week-long pauses from personal blog posts, because.. summer.

Now, it’s Currently Time! Feel free to write your own sometime!

Currently, I’m..

Reading: “The Last Anniversary” by Liane Moriarty – hot on the heels of reading Jennifer Weiner’s autobiography.

Planning: I dunno. My editorial schedule? A series of potentially life-altering conference calls. The kids’ Cape Cod Trip next week. Meeting up with some of my favorite blogger friends, like we do every summer. Kindergarten orientation stuff!

Stressing: Honestly, just see above. I also hate my brain every other day, but then I rather like it on the in-between days.

Wishing: I make a lot of wishes, and sometimes they come true 20 years later. True story, if all goes well at Comic Con. Also, I often wish for the stability of my own brain, and the strength and happiness and PEACE of my loved ones. Plus babies.

Feeling: Relatively mellow, considering I’m solo parenting for four nights. And that life is sort of always at the edge of a big cliff, but that doesn’t mean that the fall down will necessarily hurt or not be somehow protected/protective.

Listening: I’ll provide a video! It’s giving me some pretty significant feels.

Eating: (I took this verb from the Happy. Pretty. Sweet. blog) I really need to tell you how satiated I am after what I just ate. Consider that I’m writing this on Thursday night and that I didn’t have a Peanut Butter Cup Sundae from Village Green Ice Cream this morning. There’s ice cream, and then there’s peanut butter cup ice cream. There’s sundaes and then there’s Village Green ice cream sundaes. It’s like they’re all instructed to put magic in those bowls. You can’t imagine.

Wearing: Well, we covered that already, didn’t we??

Loving: Planet dresses. Hot Topic cosplay dresses. Peanut Butter Cup sundaes. Monarch butterflies, clean slates, and fresh possibilities. Cats with perpetual kitten faces, and dogs that act like cats. Chickens that always reply to me when I call to them. How much my family loves me. Spring rolls, chef salads, and breve lattes. (look that up if you don’t know what it is)

And, this shirt!

Hoping: That all of your dreams come true. I think I made that reference before, but maybe in regard to wishes, and not dreams. And it’s actually an Ally Sheedy line from Maid to Order. How’s that for DORK? I mean it, though.

Happy August!