A Day, Like Any Other Day.

This morning in the shower, I had one of those lightning-strike shower moments.

You know them, right? Sadly, I get most of my best material in the shower, while I’m driving, or when I’m on a walk through the woods or to our far-away mailbox. So I have to keep my hearts and thoughts safely in my mind until I can get to a safe place to jot it down. It used to be a pen and paper – taken everywhere I went. Now it’s the Notes app (is it even an app?) on my iPhone. It holds the secrets to my universe. I swear if anyone ever stole my phone, I wouldn’t care at all about the phone – it’s about the Notes that luckily get sent to my Gmail account too. That is key. The point is – the hearts and thoughts happen.

No matter where I happen to be.

anxiety

So the thought. First I came up with some shower notes for a sponsored post for the week. Then I realized that even though I’m in the midst of vacation time and pre-scheduled sponsored posts, I still had something else to say. Something sponsored by love. I realized that yesterday was a day without anxiety. Most days are days without major anxiety. I’d say probably every day is, unless I have a big job or a dentist appointment, or a heady conversation with a loved one. Then I can get the butterflies in my stomach – and sometimes they feel more like angry, fast hornets than sweeping, beneficial butterflies. And it’s true that I’ve had entire years without any significant or even moderate anxiety events.. at all. I’m a deep-feeling person, though. I’m going through a lot. I always am – but this summer has been full of lots of leaps and falls. Good ones, mostly.

Sweeping, beneficial moments.

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At least once a day, I’ll have an anxious thought, or I’ll have a moment I have to breathe through. Maybe my heart races at a phone call, so I have to blow on my thumbs to slow it down. (read it in an article – try it because it works) Or I’ll have a photo or writing job that makes me second guess myself so I’ll have to do five minutes of space and breathing. Actually I’ll always do that anyway because it’s healthy. It’s just that even during great and smooth times, there will be a time in the day in which I have to use an anti-anxiety tool. 9.9 times out of ten, it works so instantly, I don’t even have to go beyond the breathing or maybe some music. If I had to go beyond that, I would. I’d take care of myself. I’ve spent the last year learning.

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It’s not perfect, but it’s improving day by day. Clearly.

So thank you yesterday, for dawning unspectacularly seeming, but for being a smooth Saturday. It was our first day as a family since last Sunday because we were in New Jersey for four days and then I took the kids to Boston on Friday for a fun meet up with blogging friends and to go to Legoland Discovery Center. That is a story all on its own – of how I navigated city driving, tired kids, a potty-trained three-year-old in a big city, rush hour traffic and more, without being anxious. Nervous at times, yes. Not anxious. I think that set the stage for yesterday. I worked and read. We all shopped together. We took the kids out to dinner. Cassidy and I watched Wet Hot American Summer. I woke up today and realized I had sailed through a busy week.

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A trip to New Jersey and back. A meeting about a wedding I’m photographing. Lots of writing. A traffic-filled trip to Boston and back. And a beautiful Saturday with nary an anxious thought. I’m hoping for many more of those. I hope this is the start.

About Tamara

Tamara is a professional photographer at http://tamaracamera.com/, a mama of two, a writer/blogger at http://tamaracamerablog.com and a nearly professional cookie taster. She has been known to be all four of those things at all hours of the day and night. She is a very proud contributor to the book, The Mother Of All Meltdowns. http://themotherofallmeltdowns.com, as well as Stigma Fighters Anthology (volume 1), and The HerStories Project: So Glad They Told Me. She is also a proud Community Lead/QA Reader with Sway, and a regular contributor to the SoFab Food blog, and the Target Made Me Do It blog. After two cross country moves, due to her intense Bi-Coastal Disorder, she lives with her husband, daughter, son, dog, cat, and 11 chickens in glorious western Massachusetts.


Comments

A Day, Like Any Other Day. — 81 Comments

    • Yes, you did too! I can’t wait to read more about it.
      My favorite cookie store is closed on Sundays and Mondays, but I’m certainly thinking about what I can do about some ice cream. WITH sprinkles.

  1. Aw, I am feeling so similar myself with it being the first official day back from vacation and Disney here as we had some perfect days and nights here, as well. Yet, I still am on vacation time though and have so much to catch up on, but plan on doing it slowly. I don’t think I will be going full steam though right off the bat, because I was off the grid for also long last week, but couldn’t stay away from you today as I did miss you, my friend. Wishing you more fun and great times ahead now for sure ๐Ÿ˜‰

    • You’re back!? I need to hear ALL about it, but I know I will.
      I have a bit of the Sunday blues. I’m trying to recover from a week away and also trying to decide if it’s insane to go away again this week. I want to LIVE, but sanely. We shall see.
      Wishing you a great transition back into home and work.

      • Yes, I am but I am physically, but not mentally by any means. I also have two concerts this week (Jimmy Buffet at the beach and Zach Brown at Citi Field). So, I think I am giving myself permission to slowly transition back and not go full force, because right now I am still on Disney time and exhausted to be honest. But still had to come here and say hi, because you know I just adore you. Still yet here is to a sane and possibly still fun not crazy work week for us both now ๐Ÿ˜‰

        • Well I like the way you’re doing it!
          I drove two kids to New Jersey alone, had a business meeting, drove two kids back to MA, then made it for a business dinner with Cassidy. Then went to Boston for the whole day the next day! Then had a busy weekend. Now I’m crazy enough to take the kids to a hotel this week.. maybe.

  2. Beautiful. It was a big week for you. I am becoming more anxious as the school year is about to start tomorrow. I’m nervous and excited. I’ll be embarking on homeschooling for my little ones, since they are so eager to learn. I hope you continue your anxiety free time.

    • I got really anxious last year about kindergarten and daycare starting. I’m more calm this year but there’s still time to fret.
      Homeschooling is a big deal – very cool for you!

  3. I’m very happy that your busy week of activity was highlighted by many accomplishments and no anxiety, Tamara. ๐Ÿ‘ ๐Ÿ‘ I hope you sail through all of your plans and projects and road trips for the rest of the summer! ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐ŸŒž

    • Thank you! I’m really feeling that summer is winding down too fast now. I have to finish seizing the day before I’m ready to embrace a new season.

    • Thank you so much!
      And you’re so right by that. I spent my whole crazy day on Friday in Boston doing crazy things in the heat, but it’s still yesterday’s non-anxious silence that made me feel stronger.

    • Definitely not! I’m just wondering if it will ever get better. Sometimes I do big, scary things like weddings for people I don’t know well. And sometimes it’s a kid session at a local park for people I know well. And I get scared for both, but in different ways.
      Someone once told me that you know you’re in the right career if you feel nervous, but on the other hand, shouldn’t my career be something I eventually get used to doing? Or at least more comfortable?

  4. I come up with my best ideas when I’m walking. My completely anxiety free days are few and far between, but I love them when they come. Hope you’re having a wonderful vacation!

  5. I am right there with you getting random thoughts/inspirations at the oddest times. I will look off into space, not paying attention because I have a grand idea that I am working through when I should be focusing on something else! So glad to know I am not the only one ๐Ÿ™‚

    Also I have never heard the trick of blowing on your thumb to help calm nerves. Such a helpful tip.

    Chelsea

    • My college boyfriend used to notice that I’d suddenly stare into space all the time, like at the dining hall or even at class. Always daydreaming or planning something!
      The blowing on thumbs thing is so strange – it’s supposed to slow your heart rate!

  6. My phone is also filled with notes and half written posts! I would die if I lost my phone because of my secret “blog stash” LOL. How do you get it forwarded to Gmail? I didn’t know you can do that! Glad to hear you had a wonderful week, our’s was kinday crazy but I’m thankful that both kids are on the mend. Whew!

    • You know, I’m so not tech-savvy that I don’t even know! I used to have an iPhone 4s and it didn’t happen. Once I upgraded to the 6, it happened automatically. I checked my settings yesterday and my phone has a setting under general – notifications – Notes and you can forward them to an email account of your choosing, or even texts, or even nothing.

  7. Oh T!! I’m so so so glad you were able to manage all of those things without the anxiety!! Isn’t it amazing? Such sweet relief to feel that sense of true fulfillment and peace after what could have been a stressful week… and yet, you discovered that sometimes, peace wins!!

    LOVE those breathing techniques… will try them. ๐Ÿ™‚

    • It’s always such a superhero feeling – to be able to do so much. And then I’ll have days where I’m just at home and very anxious. Go figure!
      Generally being at home is a good place for that because my body is like, “Oh.. I get it. You’re here now because I have the quiet tools to destroy you.”

  8. Lovely photographs, Tamara. I love hearing how YOU were able to silence the anxiety. Such an accomplishment. I am always grateful when those days come – I love it when I am present enough to appreciate the peace in those moments.

  9. I am so happy to hear that there has not been a lot of anxiety. That trip to Boston sounds fun and I can’t wait to see that post. I had not heard of blowing on the thumbs – will definitely try it next time my pot starts to boil over. Lovely photos too!

  10. Having a newly potty trained kid away from home and having to navigate the traffic of a major city would have made me nervous too. It’s great that you didn’t have any anxiety, because that was a lot to take on. I’ve never traveled with just my kids. I’m not sure I could handle it.

    • I traveled with them twice last week – to New Jersey and back (5 hours in a car ONE way) and then to Boston and back. It’s usually only two hours but traffic made it three.
      I am impressed with myself!

  11. my notes!! I lost my notes one time during an upgrade on iOS and learned my lesson! I have since linked my notes to my gmail too but my really important brainstorming stuff that I know will never pop out of my brain again? I put that in evernote!

  12. Gorgeous. Sweeping big moments. School. (oh crap)
    The you and the them and the all of this. I do think it’s the start. I really really do.

  13. So good to hear that!! I used to get so nervous and worried whenever I had to bring Reiko out on my own but I guess we learn through time.
    I’ve had a pretty stressful week myself mainly due to drastic schedule changes at work and thinking of BIG decisions. I swear I’m gonna take a break a week after next!
    And yes, I definitely use a Notes app to jot down my thoughts.

    • I take both kids out alone so often that I’m very used to it. I think it’s overwhelming if I think too much about it, though!
      I’ve had a very stressful week financially. I hate those! May the next one be better.
      BIG decisions – sounds exciting and scary!

  14. YAY TO NO ANXIETY! Well, low.. We’ll always have “some” form of it. I have no time to breath – I’m cramming this book and I’m drained. Lol. I have had low anxiety for a while and it’s nice.. Just the usual ones, definitely when I hear the phone ring and have to start a “conversation” – I hate doing so at work, I DESPISE phone talk at work because I feel like everyone is listening and I’m very self conscious of the sound of my voice. Lol. It has been one of the busiest weeks this past week and I haven’t had time to read ANY blogs and my feedly was INSANE. I just cleared it. I can’t even look at it. Lol. THere isn’t enough time!!! My friends birthday passed this weekend so I devoted as much time to that.. It was one of those weeks where I wanted NO obligations and found myself with a different one every day. Have you had those weeks? They’re draining. I’m drained. I’m ready for a nap. Is it nap time yet? Can it be? Praying my 10AM weekly team meeting gets cancelled *crosses fingers* cross your fingers too! Take Care Tam Tam! -Iva

    • Ugh, phones ringing. Our smartphone generation struggles with that. I always did, though.
      That’s so sweet about your friend’s birthday!
      I definitely am having a week like that right now, by the way. Very draining. Completely. I’m struggling with it.
      Did your meeting get canceled?? I prayed!

  15. Yes it is a huge struggle! Yeah it was a good birthday for her ๐Ÿ™‚ She needed that. Jeez, hope you get through it wtih more energy than I did although, mine involved a lot of drinking. LOL. My meeting DID get cancelled ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€ Went to a nice breakfast instead. ๐Ÿ™‚ Boom! Happy.

      • Nah just 28 ๐Ÿ™‚ Now she’s with me haha ๐Ÿ™‚ Oh yes, they worked b-e-a-utifully ๐Ÿ™‚ LOL eggs over-medium (always over medium, don’t like runny stuff gaghl!), bacon, home fries (not that good) and a biscuit.. with coffee.. Gotta have coffee!! ๐Ÿ™‚ You?

    • Thank you! Me too!! As school gets closer and I have two weddings to shoot, I really feel like my mental health will be compromised if I don’t work hard.

    • Too often is so right.
      The kids start school in a few weeks and right after that, I am shooting two weddings.
      Last year it was the start of kindergarten, the start of daycare and my sister’s wedding.
      Fall is big and I need to learn how to cope with it better because otherwise, I’ll suffer!
      xoxo

  16. I love how you just pick up and go to NJ, or Boston, or wherever. I think that’s a brave thing to do, and it’s not easy for me. Although I love road trips when I take them!

    Enjoy every last second of what’s left of summer, Tamara.

    • The crazy one I did about ten years ago was to go up to the middle of Maine from New Jersey. Alone! Ten hours. No cellphones. No computers. A town with a line dance on Friday nights. A motel.
      Just the moose and me.

  17. The Notes feature is my best friend. I tapped out the first chapter of my recent story on my blog, wrapped in a towel and sitting on my bathroom floor dripping wet at midnight. I am sure I could have found pen and paper within my own house… but then again I can’t find my car keys right now, so I wasn’t risking it. When inspiration strikes! ๐Ÿ™‚
    Here’s to many more peaceful easy feeling weeks ahead!

  18. So great to have had such a freeing day! I’ll be hoping for more of those for you, as well!

    And all the moments when things just cime…yeah I know that sometimes, too! I think so important to grab them as soon as we can and before they go away! ๐Ÿ™‚

  19. YAY!!! An breeze through! You’re the biddy bomb! I didn’t know the notes could be emailed to you…I’m going to have to set that up because I am a big notes person too. The idea strikes and you have to jot it down or it’s gone forever…even when I tell myself I’ll remember…too good to forget..no. It’s gone. lol

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