Scarlet once asked me – is it braver to go on the biggest, scariest, loop de loop, roller coaster ride if you’re not afraid of roller coasters, or is it braver to go on the kiddie coaster after a lifelong phobia of roller coasters? What would you say?
What could I say except that we do what we can to move comfortably in our own footsteps, and that every now and then we move out of them, above them, away from them, opposite them, and alongside them too – just to see what we can do.
On Labor Day we went to the famous Three County Fair and the kids asked me to go on the Dragon Wagon Coaster. Now if you’re SUPER eagled-eyed (or obsessed with me, which is totally cool) you might remember that this was the fair I went to last year and broke my own ground. I shattered my own earth. The kiddie coaster there – it’s laughable. Maybe it would thrill you if you were two or three. Maybe four? If you had gone through the normal motions of love and life and courage. Maybe you work at your own strange paces and spaces, though. Maybe you’ll go on that same kiddie coaster as a four-year-old trapped in a 36-year-old’s body. “Ahhh..” You’ll say. “This is how it feels and I think I like it. Curve by turn by curve.”
To me, taking that first step was everything. I did it again at the Big E (big New England fair in the fall). I didn’t give a backwards glance at the safety of the ground – the safety of NOT going on the kiddie coaster. It wasn’t until I went on The Barnstormer at Disney World months later, that I realized those fair rollers coasters were not real coasters at all. And to some, neither is The Barnstormer. That’s ok. We all have our own versions of our own stories. That freaking Mine Train coaster was a super thrill ride for me. Whipped around. It has to move you a certain way. And you have to move with it.
Here, in our humble home, we now have two egg-laying chickens. Tiny eggs so far. The renovations were supposed to start on Monday, but anyone who knows anything about contractors really didn’t think that would happen, right? Yeah, me neither. We still moved our entire upstairs into our downstairs. I have a temporary office – in the carpeted basement. I used to think the cat REALLY loved my office because she was always there sleeping. Now it occurs to me that maybe, just maybe, she REALLY loves me because guess where she is? Wherever I may roam (or write, edit photos, and take video chats with gorgeous people). It’s funny that it took me this long to figure that out? It’s totally how I operate, unfortunately.
The cat had crystals in her urine and is totally fine, but has to eat special urine-crystal-reducing food for the rest of her life. “The rest of the month?!?!” I exclaimed over the phone to the vet because we had a poor connection and that’s what I heard. “Nope.. for the rest of her life.” She’s great, though. I put my towel on the basement floor after the shower yesterday, because I no longer have a bedroom or bathroom or office for two months. And the cat curled up in my towel. I meant to move it, but she has fallen in love. Seriously! I’m going to turn around right now.. and yup.. here’s my view:
In other news, the dog had the barfs for several days and that really sucked! Dr. Google told me she either had some bile disorder or was currently pregnant. (NOT) I’m five photo shoots underwater (meaning, I have five photo shoots to edit), and I now have four new photo shoots scheduled for this weekend. This is BEFORE the foliage/holiday rush too. You could consider me legally insane soon. Oh! Also, Cassidy and I are temporarily sharing a full-sized futon with an odd cooling memory foam mattress. We wake up tangled in blankets and unsure of what’s going on every day now. Eye on the prize?
Here’s my finale. We stood on the playground as Des walked bravely in, without a backwards glance. Scarlet made up for it by waving broadly and allowing us to be the only third grade parents to get to shout, “I FREAKING LOVE YOU!” in public.
Where blues won’t haunt you anymore
Where the brave are free and lovers soar
Come ride with me to the distant shore
We won’t hesitate
To break down the garden gate
There’s not much time left today
Life is a highway
I wanna ride it all night long
If you’re going my way
I wanna drive it all night long
Through all these cities and all these towns
It’s in my blood, and it’s all around
I love you now like I loved you then
This is the road, and these are the hands”