Let It Go.

I started writing this post to the song “Learning to Fly” coming on shuffle on my Pandora.

At the same time(ish), I got distracted and wandered over to Facebook to discover that I was tagged in a photo my sister took today of Scarlet “flying” at the three county fair we have in Northampton this weekend. My girl can fly, don’t you think?

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I’m feeling none of the power that this song usually gives me. I’m feeling none of the power that seeing photos of Scarlet usually gives me. I’m feeling none of the power of anything, really, and that includes writing and photography, but here I am and I’ll give it a shot. Every time there’s a turning point, or a rough patch – whether in anxiety, marriage, parenting, family, grief, etc. I always wonder if I’ll make it. I see happy, whole people and I may have been one yesterday and I may be one again tomorrow, but I’m not one today. And I always wonder – can I make it? Can I do this? The answer is most likely “yes.”

Supertasters aren’t always meant to drink alcohol and eat spicy food (I’m a cheap date). Superfeelers aren’t always meant to get things right the first time, the second time, or even the 42nd time. We’re not always built for transitions – the ones that seem big and don’t hit us enough, or the ones that seem smaller, and bring us to our knees. Or the ones that happen all at once and you can’t make sense of them. You can’t break them up, piece by piece, into palatable, BLAND bites. You just can’t do that. Supertasters and superfeelers can’t always stomach the powerful. And life, isn’t it always a bit powerful? A bit much?

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Yesterday, my daughter sang “Let It Go” in front of 50 or so people.

I think this song speaks to many of us. In my own delusions of grandeur, I like to think it speaks to me especially powerfully. We were at a 20 year anniversary party for my in-laws, and there was a particularly moving ceremony before the party. Cousin Leo paused in his professional photographing, to grab a movie for us. What a gift. Look for cameos by Des and me.

I hate the term “control freak” but I’m definitely someone who is afraid of loss of control.

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I’m scared of fair and amusement park rides if I’ve never been on them, and I’m barely comforted by seeing young children (including my own) go on these rides ahead of me, and get off them flawlessly and calmly. I worry I wouldn’t be a candidate for hypnosis or anaesthesia, even though the latter has happened successfully twice, for oral surgery, and the former surely happens every day to some degree, by creepy viral marketing or by someone telling me to absolutely NOT think of a bluebird.

Did you just think of a bluebird? I did. Bonus points if you thought of tacos instead.

Sometimes I get blocks with things I’d otherwise be good at – if it’s not easily learned in general or just by me. I shrug it off and run. Piano lessons. Stick shift driving lessons. Math. Math, which I could do well when I really had to get it done.

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Every night, in times of trouble or joy, I let go. I let it go. Every night, I fall asleep. And mostly, quite successfully. I succumb to dreams and darkness – a breaking and healing journey into the vast unknown. I let go daily. And that’s astonishing.

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And this week, I will let go. Of Scarlet. Into the world. Into the world of kindergarten and learning and books and complex friendships. Skinned knees and cafeteria meals, in the faces of snuggly blankets, naptime and recess at the same time.

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It will be one of the rides of her life. And I know she will look back too.

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May she fly, as she was born & taught to do, & may she come back to us every day at 3:00pm, for 13 more spectacular years.

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I hesitated to post this next unflattering photo, mainly because I wasn’t following my own advice in which I tell subjects to stick out that forehead and accentuate that jawline! I do have a strong jawline in real life. Anyway, Scarlet took this photo. It was her. This is how she sees me sometimes. This is how she saw me one day. And that’s good enough for me to share.

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It’s Time For The Newlywed Game!

Ok now bear with me here, everyone.

I had yet another one of my weird Ask Away Friday ideas, but this one didn’t involve interviewing any of my family members. Or any pets for that matter, although I’d surely like to get into young Bella’s mind and ask her about her apparent mental illness. And flatulence. That said, I’m going for something better here. This week I am partnered with Ana from Our Blended Marriage and she writes a blog with her husband, Frank. They shared their beautiful multi-part “How We Met” story and they also share recipes, cultural comparisons, stories, and tips on design, productivity and more. Ana also wrote a WordPress Blog Design Course.

I noticed recently that when Ana participates in Ask Away Friday, Frank answers the questions too!

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This seems highly fitting since they both publish the blog. I knew I wanted in, but how in? Cassidy has already worked tirelessly when the spotlight was on him twice for Ask Away Friday and I wanted to spare him that. And then it struck me. The Newlywed Game! Ever watch it? In this romance game show, married couples are pitted against each other with revealing questions to determine how well they know each other.. or not. Once I got Cassidy, Ana and Frank on board to try this, it was ON.

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Ana, Frank and I made “the rules.” I made five questions for Ana about Frank, and five for Frank about Ana. They sent Cassidy five questions about me, and I will respond in bold brackets with my own answers and comments to see how they match. I answered five questions about Cassidy and I put his answers in bold brackets too. We both answered questions about each other, before reading each other’s matching (or unmatching answers). There was no cheating. So are you ready? I’m ready.

After a few words about what the heck Ask Away Friday (usually) is first!

Hooray, hooray, hooray for the all new #AskAwayFriday! Get to know our new hosts, meet our new co-host, and grab our new logo! Be sure to check out our new Facebook page “AskAwayFriday” for a great place to meet up and send out a #BuddyRequest if you need a partner to swap with! And always feel free to contact me here or anywhere if you want to swap with me.

What is #AskAwayFriday? Well…

#AskAwayFriday was created by the amazing Penny from Real Housewife of Caroline County as a place for us to connect with other bloggers by asking them ten questions to really get to know them. The sky is the limit with the questions you ask!

Meeting other bloggers and making new friends is one of the best parts of this online world!

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Tamara from Tamara Like Camera,
Tiffany from Mrs. Tee Love Life Laughter,
Christy from Uplifting Families,
Stacey from This Momma’s Ramblings
and
Amber from Bold Fit Mom

Please join us in welcoming the amazing and wonderful Sonya from Saving Everyday with Sonya K as our new two week co-host!

AskAway SOnya Its Time For The Newlywed Game!

Sonya from Saving Everyday With Sonya K. has a knack for finding sales, deals and ways to save that will make you wonder and make your pockets happy. Be sure to stop by her place for the latest of her finds and a few tips on how to find your own savings as well.

Grab our brand new button, follow our amazing hosts, hop through the great link ups and make some new friends!

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Be sure to read Ana and Frank’s Newlywed Game version of Ask Away Friday HERE. And now it starts for us:

Five Questions For Me About Cassidy:

1. What is Cassidy’s life dream?

I don’t know that he has one specific life dream, and if he does, he’s already halfway living it. He has a wife who is flawed, but loves him. He has incredible kids and a beautiful house and garden. He also has a fantastic dog. I think doing something he’s passionate about, and finding magic, music, love and adventure in the world will contribute ever more to his happiness.

(His answer: “I’m already living it, but less work and more family time would be nice. And a lifesize TARDIS.”)

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2. If they were to make a movie based on your How Your Parents Met Story who would Cassidy pick to star as you?

Anne Hathaway!

(His answer: “Anne Hathaway.”)

3. Describe Cassidy’s dream vacation

I don’t know if it’s so much about specific location, as it is about feeling, adventure and opportunity. To be specific, though, I think a family vacation to England and beyond would be a dream of his. Doctor Who stuff, the Irish countryside, bangers and mash! (ok, that last one was more me)

(His answer: “To see something(s) or some place I have never seen before. Corollary: to give my kids an experience they have never had before. If there’s a beach nearby, all the better.”)

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4. What does Cassidy really think about your cooking skills?

I guess he can’t think anything about something he knows nothing about. I’m flustered, slow and irritable with cooking. Not bad at baking. I think he would say that this is a mystery he hopes to find out about one day.

(His answer: “Largely untapped. Excellent when she wants to be.”)

5. With a garden that has fairies that bring very sweet gifts; what would Cassidy say would be crossing the line should the fairies bring it?

I would say another cat would be out of the question! Luckily, he’s not alone there. I’d be happy with just one.. I have definitely heard him say, “This is a one-sided relationship. I deal more with their sh*t than I do with them.”

(His answer: “Since the cats (who I rescued off the mean streets of Sturbridge, MA) are completely indifferent to me, I’ll say no more cats. Also, none of the following: plague, drama, Hitler.”)

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How did I do?? And now, Five Questions For Cassidy About Me:

1. What is Tamara’s favorite meal that you cook?

Anything as long as it involves mashed potatoes.

(My answer: “He’s somewhat right because mashed potatoes are one of my favorite foods on earth. He makes this incredible crockpot chicken and vegetables recipe. He uses potatoes in it but they have skin on them, which I don’t love, and the ratio of chicken to potatoes/carrots isn’t ideal for me. So that chicken, those carrots and mashed potatoes instead? Yes. I also really love his pumpkin stew, although we can’t have that year-round.”)

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2. If they were to make a movie based on Tamara’s How Your Parents Met Story who would Tamara pick to star as you?

Older me: Henry Ian Cusick, Younger me: An actor from one of her CW shows who I am not familiar with.

(My answer: “ha! No CW stars come close, I’m afraid. I’d say Henry Ian Cusick just for anything. Anything.”)

3. What was the catalyst that made Tamara realize you are the one?

50% my soul/50% I stopped being a prick.

(My answer: “You know, I think I’ll go with that?”)

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4. Being married for a decade must have its perks; how often would you say that Tamara can tell exactly what needs to be done?

I have to admit, I’m not sure what this question means…so I’ll go with 42%.

(My answer: “Well we’ve only been married six years, so I think we have a long way to go. I’m going to say 25%?”)

5. What is Tamara’s favorite pass time?

Reading, Reading, Reading (sometimes with ice cream).

(My answer: “Reading. Editing non-client photos. Eating ice cream with the kids. Staring at nature.”)

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How’d he do??

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